Chapter 8
“So, you think each intern having multiple supervisors would be beneficial? Or do you think it will confuse them about who they should go to with their questions?”
I jumped in to answer President Munchen’s question before Ben did. I couldn’t let him dominate the conversation while trying to show Eduardo what I brought to the table. “Each intern will only have one supervisor, ma’am, all from the architectural department. My role will be more of an advisor and career coach. I’ll do weekly presentations to them as a group on different topics that will help them succeed in their future job searches.” And give them a chief recruitment officer in their network, I added internally.
“I love it. The internship focuses on work related to the students’ majors, but also recognizes the skills they need outside of the technical work. Juliana, this is a phenomenal program.”
“She’s also one half of the duo that designed the inclusion initiative you were so excited by,” Eduardo responded with a smile.
“Another impressive feat. I’m looking forward to meeting you in person when you and Ben visit the campus in April for interviews.”
“Oh, both of us? I thought Ben would be the person to interview the students since he has the expertise in the field.”
Dean Warren chimed in. “We would like for you both to attend the interviews and for you to provide them feedback on how they did. I want this to be a learning experience for every student, including those who aren’t selected for your internship.”
“I’d be happy to send them both.” Eduardo gave us a thumbs-up.
I started mentally tallying everything I would need to do to prepare for a week in Boston. Of course, Eduardo had to partner with his alma mater out of state instead of with the university down the street.
Eduardo clapped both of us on the shoulder after the call disconnected. “This is some excellent work. You’re making me look good. It’s the quality of work I expect from my executive team. Now, I have to run. I’ll let you two hammer out the interview details.”
He slipped out of Ben’s office, closing the door on his way out. I turned wide eyes to Ben, bursting with excitement.
“Did you hear what he said?” I whisper-shouted, and he smiled back.
“I did. It looks like you’re getting the job.”
“I mean, it’s not official until it’s, you know, official. He didn’t give me a job offer or anything. But it sounded positive.”
Ben chuckled and nodded along with my rambling. My body vibrated with energy, and I needed to move, to do something. Without thinking, I launched myself at Ben, throwing my arms around his neck and squealing. He must have been as surprised by the action as I was. He stumbled backward, hitting his chair, and coming down with a thump. I fell with him, sprawled over the top of his body. He grabbed my waist with firm hands and hoisted me up before I landed in a heap on the floor.
We were both laughing, and I realized I’d never heard his laugh before now. Definitely his snigger when I made a misstep, or his chuckle when teasing me, but never this full, animated laugh that burst from him. It was lyrical and mesmerizing.
His laughter died off as he met my eyes, his own softening as he took me in. I realized too late, when he stopped me from falling, I ended up straddling his lap, barely any space between our bodies.
I took a deep, shuddering breath as he kept surveying me. Before I could stop myself, I leaned down and captured his lips with my own. I heard his sharp intake of breath and felt a moment’s hesitation. I was about to pull away and apologize, but his grip tightened on my hip, pulling our bodies closer as his other hand curled around the base of my neck.
His response was more than enthusiastic, and the sigh from his lips lit a fire under my skin. I needed him, needed his touch on every inch of my body. I was desperate to bring us as close together as possible.
He ran his tongue along the seam of my lips, and I opened for him, welcoming anything he wanted to give me. The hand at my hip slid slowly up my torso, stopping to cup my breast through my shirt, and I moaned into his mouth as his tongue danced with my own. He ran his thumb back and forth over my nipple, smiling onto my lips as I shuddered on top of him.
My heart fluttered around in my chest like it was trying to escape. I felt his hard length through his slacks and pushed myself down to meet it, eager for any friction I could get. He pulled away with a groan, quickly picking me up and setting me on the edge of his desk before recapturing my lips.
Our movements shuffled around the items on the desk, and the crash of his stapler and tape dispenser hitting the floor caused us to jump apart.
The second his hands left me, a sinking sensation flooded my body. He was my colleague, someone I didn’t even like most days. Here I was, throwing myself at him. I put myself at risk of a scandal at a job I loved. The door wasn’t even locked. What if Eduardo had forgotten something and come back? Finding me grinding on top of his new VP of architecture would have lost me the job. And for what? A hookup that would mean nothing to either of us? Even as the argument crossed my mind, a small voice whispered, You know that’s not what this is. I pushed the thought far enough back that it didn’t exist anymore, angry at everything leading to this decision.
I touched my swollen lips. “Shit, shit, shit.”
Ben watched me with guarded eyes, waiting to see what I said next.
“I can’t believe we did that. That was so inappropriate.” I glared at him across the room.
He let out a pessimistic laugh. “Don’t go pointing your anger at me. You’re the one who kissed me, beautiful.”
“You can’t call me that. And I may have kissed you, but you’re the one who conveniently arranged me on top of your dick.”
“You mean when I stopped you from falling after you literally threw yourself at me?” He rolled his eyes.
I groaned and ran my hands through the top of my hair, gripping the high bun. My mind ran through the past few minutes. “That should never have happened.”
“Why not?” he asked casually, but the tension in his shoulders made me question his nonchalance.
“Because we work together and we hate each other.” I turned my back to him, straightening my clothes and trying to compose myself.
He was quiet for a few seconds, then sighed like I’d disappointed him. “Look, if we’re going to work together in our new roles, I think we need to move past this feud. It’s late, and I’m starving. Another truce so we can go get some food?”
“Together?” I asked, as though he’d asked me to eat a bug.
“Yes, together. We’ll talk about the interviews and put all of this behind us.”
I paused for a minute. He was right. We couldn’t continue the way we had if we were both sitting on the executive board. I’d found a job I not only loved, but that respected the responsibilities I had at home. That was rare, and I couldn’t jeopardize it over something this petty. We stared at each other, both trying to hold out until the silence became too uncomfortable to handle.
He broke first, taking a step closer to me. “Have dinner with me, Juliana.”
God, his eyes were beautiful any day, but when they were all serious and intense? I was so screwed.
“I am hungry,” I said cautiously.
A broad smile took over his face. “It’s a date.”
“Wait, what?” I sputtered as he turned away from me to grab his wallet and keys from the desk. “No, it’s not.”
He smirked at me over his shoulder. “It’s a turn of phrase.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, and his gaze moved down to my mouth.
“Stop that,” I said.
“Stop what?” he asked, the picture of innocence.
“Stop being charming, with the smoldering and the smiles.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, his brow furrowed as he leaned toward me. “I hate to have to tell you this, but you just gave me a compliment.”
I glowered at him. “Do you want to get food or not?”
“Yup,” he said, flipping his keys around his fingers. “Let’s get to our nondate.”
“Nothing fancy, and you aren’t paying for my meal.”
He lifted his hands in front of him in a sign of submission, but his crooked smile made it less believable. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” He laughed as he passed me. He paused right by my side, looking down. “And for the record, I never said I hated you.”
My mind reeled, but I let him lead me out of the building and a few blocks down to a tiny Thai place. Ben left me out front to check on the wait as he trudged through the packed lobby. I leaned against the wall, enjoying the sounds of the city, when a voice came from down the sidewalk.
“Juliana Ryan?” I turned to see Mike Jameson walking toward me with a giant smile splitting his face.
Mike and I met during my first and only foray into dating apps. When I mentioned to Asia I might be ready to get back out there, she created profiles on every dating site by the end of the day.
“Hey there, Mike. It’s been a while.”
The girls went to a sleepaway camp for three weeks this past summer, a gift from Jason’s parents that they knew I couldn’t afford otherwise. I figured it was as good a time as any to explore my options and try to tame my raging libido. He was kind and cute, and we had a nice three-week fling. But I wasn’t interested in moving forward once my kids came back home. I’d never consider bringing my kids into the mix unless it was something spectacular.
Not that the sex was bad. It was pleasant enough while it was happening, but I felt nothing afterward. Even after almost fifteen years with Jason, the sex still left me breathless. Mike was the only man I slept with besides the one I married, and I worried the combination of emotional and physical connection was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
“Yeah, it has. I’ve missed you.” He stepped closer into my space. “I’ve been meaning to give you a call for a while now.”
I slid away, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry for disappearing. After my kids came home, finding time for dating was a lot harder.”
“Is it still too hard to find time for dating?” He raised his eyebrows, leaning in farther. I fought off a grimace.
A heavy arm landed around my shoulders, and I looked up to find Ben regarding Mike with a flat, dismissive stare.
“Not too hard,” he said, pulling me closer until our bodies were touching from shoulder to foot. Heat shot through my veins. The memory of that kiss—of his hands skimming the lines of my body—was too fresh. I went to move away, but Ben’s grip tightened.
Mike took a quick step back, taking him in. Ben was a good head taller than him; bulkier, too.
“Congratulations. You’re a lucky man. Juliana, if anything ever changes, you have my number.” Mike gave us a small wave and continued down the sidewalk.
When I was sure Mike was out of range, I pushed Ben off me, desperate for space and to put us back on solid ground. “What the hell was that?”
“I was trying to help.”
“By staking your claim on me like a caveman? We kiss once and then you act like a dog pissing all over a fire hydrant.”
Ben lifted his hands in submission. “Okay. I swear I thought I was helping. I came back out of the restaurant, and this guy was on top of you. You looked like you wanted to melt into the sidewalk. I thought I’d scare him off and help you out. I should have known you’d be the type to want to fight your own battles.”
Our gazes held for a minute, sizing each other up before I nodded.
“Forgiven. And that may have been an overreaction. I’m working on not expecting the worst from you.”
His answering smile did funny things to my chest. “They can seat us, by the way.”
“In front of the ten groups waiting outside?”
“I know a guy.” He led me inside, through the restaurant to a small table back in the kitchen. A handsome Thai man in his late thirties made his way over and pulled Ben into a tight hug. “It’s good to see you, man.”
“It’s been months, Ben. Where the hell have you been?”
“I’m sorry. Things have been so busy. Niran, this is Juliana.” He smiled as he led me forward to meet his friend. “Niran and I were roommates when he studied abroad here. We reconnected when he moved over permanently to open his restaurant. He makes the best Thai food outside of Thailand.”
Niran scoffed. “The best Thai food, period, and it’s about time you brought in a date. It’s been years since Ste—”
“Oh, we’re not a date. I’m not a date. I mean, this is not a date,” I stumbled, cutting him off in my haste to explain our relationship. Niran looked at me like I’d lost my mind, while Ben ran a hand over his mouth to hide his smile. I forced an awkward smile of my own. “We work together.”
“In that case, let me give you my number.” Niran gave Ben a conspiratorial smile, and I saw Ben roll his eyes. Niran laughed again. “Well, whatever you are, you’ll be treated tonight. Is there anything you don’t eat, Juliana?”
“Not when it comes to Thai food.”
He settled us into the chef’s table and promised to bring us a bit of everything to try. I laughed at his enthusiasm but was shocked when I realized that when he said everything, he meant every thing. His team kept a steady stream of food coming. Coconut shrimp, fried scallops, and fried calamari. Spring rolls and fresh rolls, satay and peanut dip. I was stuffed by the time the curries came out, but I couldn’t deny myself a small taste of each. I moaned as the massaman curry hit my taste buds. Clearly, I needed to make friends with more chefs.
“This is my new favorite place.”
“Well, it seems like you’ll always be welcome here if Niran has anything to say about it. He keeps sneaking glances over here when he should focus on the food in front of him.” He yelled the last part across the kitchen, giving his friend a pointed glance. Niran’s laughter boomed around us in response. I searched Ben’s face to see if I found jealousy or amusement. Maybe a bit of both.
“I’m shocked to realize anyone else besides Asia can tolerate you,” I said with a small smile. Ben laughed loudly, and my smile grew from the infectious sound.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?” That beautiful smile made his eyes crinkle. There was a spark in his gaze, an intensity that made me feel like the most important thing he had ever looked at. I couldn’t look away, drawn in by the addictive warmth. “And just so you know, I have plenty of friends. There’s a whole life outside of KMG’s walls you could learn about if you wanted. Like I said, all you have to do is ask.”
My heart flipped at the idea of becoming a part of his life. My mind, siding with my disloyal heart, conjured images of us grabbing lunch together between meetings, snuggling on the couch after my kids were asleep, sneaking kisses when we passed each other in the hallway. Despite my insistence to the contrary, it was a tempting picture. But that seemed like a big step. If I couldn’t get him off my mind when we were enemies, what would happen if we became more?
I laughed awkwardly. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
My laugh turned into a grimace as the words left my mouth and I saw the transformation in Ben. His face fell, and he looked down at the food, busying himself with the different plates. The overwhelming urge to bring his smile back shot through me. I wanted to walk around the table, sit on his lap, and make him laugh like he did right before our kiss. But that option seemed like a bomb, blowing up my walls and my plans. I couldn’t take the step.
“Ben.”
When he didn’t respond, I reached across the table to grab his hand, waiting for him to meet my eyes. His own were guarded, and I hated making them look that way. My words came out in a rush.
“I’m sorry. That was… I shouldn’t have said that.” I rolled my lips together, trying to figure out just how much I was willing to reveal. “This has all been a lot for me. We couldn’t carry on a civil conversation a couple weeks ago, and now we’re here with the teasing, flirting, and kissing. It’s just… a lot. There hasn’t been anyone I felt anything for since Jason.”
My voice cracked on his name. Was I betraying his memory if I explored things with Ben? I knew there wouldn’t be a middle ground if we started seeing each other. Either we’d blow up and destroy everything in our path, or I’d fall in love with him. How could I even think about loving someone else when I already had my one great love?
“I need some time,” I finished, my voice just above a whisper.
He nodded, a tiny smile curving his lips. “Baby steps. I’m patient.”
“Baby steps sound good.” I looked back down at the food to break the tension from the past few minutes, fighting the smile spreading across my face. I searched for a safe topic of conversation. “How long have you been at KMG?”
“I started right out of college. I did a five-year architectural degree, so I came in as a fresh-faced twenty-three-year-old who thought he knew everything about architecture but actually knew nothing. I can’t believe I’m coming up on fifteen years with the company, but Eduardo’s made it easy to stay.”
We spent the rest of the meal talking about work projects and office gossip, never again straying into dangerous territory. Ben was open and friendly, leaving me in stitches with stories about clients with absurd requests outside the possibility of physics. He didn’t push it again. Didn’t slip in a story about friends or how he spent his weekends. The way he respected my request, seemingly unreasonable as it was, made me soften another fraction toward him.
But as much as he controlled the conversation, he couldn’t seem to control that look in his eyes. The one that said, if I gave half a word, he’d pull me across that small table and pick back up where we left off in his office.
Niran refused to accept our money, and I felt like doing a little happy dance that I not only had the best meal of my life but also didn’t have to spend a cent of my itty-bitty food budget.
When we stopped by my car, which Ben had insisted he walk me to, I froze, unsure of our next step. Ben smiled, leaned down, and gave me a lingering kiss on my cheek that made my heart fly around my chest. My eyes drifted closed at the contact, and I sighed softly.
“Good night, Juliana.” He stared into my eyes for a few seconds before backing away. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to write up this whole night in our battle log, or decide who won. Or why we were even fighting anymore.