Chapter 28 Spriggy fails, you feel bad. Michelle tops, you feel worse
Spriggy fails, you feel bad. Michelle tops, you feel worse
Hannah’s school is about a twenty-minute walk, but Dad decided to drive us there on the day of the results. She is sitting in the back seat, said that she needs some time to pray. Her hands are rubbing together in a manic and rapid mantra.
‘Since when are you a Buddhist?’ Dad laughs, oblivious to the sweat that is running down both our necks.
Dad is a wonderful man. He’s done so much for the two of us completely by himself.
I wouldn’t say that he’s never complained—he complains all the time, about rugby, the price of gas, the government and its international policies.
But he’s never really complained about either of us.
A jab or a concerned comment here and there.
But today might be the day he disowns Hanako and me by extension for being in cahoots with her.
We decided not to tell him about the possibility of her failing her A levels. It just won’t do any of us any good.
Hannah starts chanting protective mantras and rubbing her ‘pass the exam’ Shinto charm I’ve brought her from Japan. She is in a bad way.
FU-chan: Breathe, it’s going to be fine.
Smelly sibling: Dad’s going to kill me.
FU-chan: We have a backup plan.
Smelly sibling: Fuck the backup plan. I need to borrow money and run away somewhere isolated. Like Wales.
I stop responding to her nonsense. We’ve been to Wales. Yes, there are many sheep, but there are also many roads that would allow Dad to hunt her down if she left.
The car park is packed with sixth form girls and their parents. Everyone is slowly shuffling to the school gates, girls waving at each other. One girl walks out from the school holding her open envelope, crying.
‘The first generation of Guivers to not go to Oxbridge. Your father will have words with you when we get home.’ Her mother, with a silk scarf tied round her neck, storms ahead of her.
Hanako’s friend Michelle runs up to us, cackling, ‘Spriggy Guivers got BBB.’
‘Spriggy?’ Dad and I look at each other.
‘Her real name is Beatrice,’ Hanako answers, humourlessly.
As someone who didn’t even apply to Oxford with predicted AAB grades, mentally, for just a second, I let myself gloat.
I did better than a girl called Beatrice Guivers. Suck on it, Spriggy.
Hannah walks through the main doors and leads us to the main hall. She grabs the envelope with her name from the desk, crosses herself in front of the stained glassed Mary (she is collecting all the gods, huh?), and rips it open with shaking hands.
‘So?’ I ask.
Dad is in a wide-footed stance, fist pressed in his mouth, waiting to figure out what reaction he should have.
‘BBB.’ She smiles.
Michelle screams in excitement and jumps into my sister’s arms with a kiss.
Oh, Michelle is not a friend. Michelle is the girlfriend.
I lock my phone with an exhale, as I had already prepared to call clearing.
We give Hannah a hug, say a big thank you to her teachers, a goodbye to her friends and friend, and walk to the car.
My sister is too happy to notice how stiff Dad has become.
‘Thank you, Kami-sama. That was a proper clutch. I did not think I would pass.’ She pushes me away and grabs the front seat.
‘Hanako?’ Dad reels her in, not starting his engine.
‘Yes?’
‘Do you have a girlfriend?’ he asks blankly.
Shock and then realisation starts settling in, as she covers her mouth. ‘Yes.’
‘Dad, it’s not a big deal,’ I try to intervene.
‘You knew?’
They turn their heads to me, and I realise I should’ve sat quietly.
‘Not for long.’ I cover my tracks.
‘I can’t believe it, Hanako. I thought I brought you up better than this!’
A family walks by our car, clearly assuming that the fight is being initiated because of poor results. Like that Spiffy girl, or whatever her name was.
‘I can’t believe you’re being homophobic right now!’ She revolts.
‘Homophobic? You think my issue is that you’re gay?’
‘What else could it be?’
‘I have no issue with you being gay. My issue stems from the fact that my teenage daughter has been spending nights with her partner under the disguise of friendly sleepovers. Your secrecy and dishonesty are my issue, not your sexual orientation.’
Hanako looks at me, but I just shrug in discomfort. I guess he’s kinda right. She did spend a lot of time with Michelle.
‘Well, at least there was no chance for teen pregnancy,’ I try to lighten the mood.
‘Fuko!’ Dad raises his voice and then turns to my sister, finally starting his car. ‘When we get home, you are grounded, young lady.’
Smelly sibling: I thought your comment was funny.
FU-chan: Thanks, sorry that Dad didn’t even let you celebrate properly.
Smelly sibling: I think he is just surprised. He will come down soon. I hope.
FU-chan: Congrats on BBB! Very proud of you.
Smelly sibling: 39 T.T
Despite the August heatwave, the drive back is icy. But as we get closer to home, Dad’s shoulders relax.
‘Hanako,’ Dad says, parking the car back in our spot. ‘Well done.’
‘Thank you, Dad.’
‘No more sleepovers until you’re in uni, though.’
‘Understood. It’s a good job I’m actually going, then.’ She winks at me and opens the car door.
‘Actually? Oi, what do you mean actually going?’ he shouts at her.
‘Don’t worry about it, old man!’
They grumble at each other for another half an hour, but by the evening, Dad softens and takes us to an Indian restaurant to celebrate.