11. Reed
It had been twenty minutes since I walked out of Faith’s house, and I was still sitting outside, white-knuckling my steering wheel.
My engine was running, and the radio played D’Angelo at a low volume.
“Another Life” was one of my favorite songs ever, but right now, I could barely hear it as I considered calling those movers after all.
Nothing about just leaving Faith and our daughter all the way over there, when they needed to be with me, felt right.
I couldn’t blink without seeing the most beautiful little girl in the world with the same sandy hair as me, and my whole fucking face, staring back at me.
Jada. My daughter’s name was Jada. I had a daughter.
I really had a daughter. The realization of finding out I was a dad kept hitting me in waves.
Some of them came so hard and fast that I couldn’t breathe.
I should have been livid, but for the life of me, I couldn’t make myself commit to being mad with Faith for keeping her from me. I was angry, but my anger wasn’t directed toward Faith. No matter how bad I wanted to blame her for hiding Jada from me, I understood exactly why she did it.
I had given her every reason in the world not to trust me.
Plus, I’d warned her about how dangerous my family could be.
As much as I loved her, I knew finding out about my engagement would shattered her in ways that I would probably never fully understand.
Seeing the terror in her eyes when Jada popped up in her room told me everything I needed to know.
For good reason, Faith felt like she couldn’t trust me to be there for them.
She truly believed that I would hurt them, and essentially, I did.
I couldn’t make myself admit it out loud, but I was madder at myself than anything.
I should have gone after her. I should have begged her to listen to me and proved that I was the man who she had fallen in love with.
I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve her.
The reality of how royally I’d fucked up messed with my head as I finally backed out of her driveway.
Instead of heading home to change, I took the drive out to Cashville.
I barely remembered parking or walking through the employee entrance to get to the private elevator that led to our offices.
My mind was occupied by one thing and one thing only.
I had a daughter. I wasn’t taking that lightly.
By the time I made it to my office, I was losing my damn mind.
What if she thought I didn’t love her? What if she hated me? I had missed six years of her life. Six fucking years passed by without me knowing that she even existed. Birthdays, teething, first steps, first words, nightmares, all that shit happened without me being there.
Once I was in my office, I locked the door behind me and headed to my walk-in closet to get a change of clothes.
I removed one of the suit bags, not worrying what was in it as I went to the shower to wash last night off me and get ready for the day.
Mindlessly, I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower hitting a couple knobs before warm water hit me from every direction.
As soon as I dipped my head under the water, the dam broke.
I put both of my hands on the wall in front of me to brace myself, while I cried like a newborn baby.
I had a fucking daughter with the woman I loved to death, and I never even knew it.
I gave myself about fifteen minutes to fall apart before I got it together and finished my shower.
By the time I was dressed and prepared to try to get through the door, there was a knock at my office door. I sighed and walked over to snatch it open before turning around and moving back to my desk.
“The fuck wrong with you? I called you after I followed ol’ girl to make sure she got home safe. Did you get your girl?”
I actually forgot that I got Sawyer to take care of Hope and make sure she got home safe. Most of last night was a blur once Faith was in my car. I plopped down behind my desk as I considered how I would answer his question.
“You don’t even know the half,” I finally told him.
“What’s up? She still playing you to the left.”
“I have a daughter.”
Instead of immediately cracking a corny-ass joke and trying to be funny, Sawyer just stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language.
“You got a what?”
“A daughter,” I emphasized.
I didn’t blame Saw for questioning me. The words coming out of my mouth didn’t make sense to me, and I had seen her with my own eyes. His brows bunched together as he walked deeper into my office.
“What you mean, you got a daughter, man? Since when?”
“Since six years ago, apparently.”
“Make that shit make sense, Reed. I left you at a bar. Where the fuck you get a daughter from?”
Dragging my hand down my face, I sat back in my seat and looked up at him.
“Faith. She has a six-year-old daughter.”
“Get the fuck out of here!”
“What time is it? I need a drink,” I announced as if I needed permission.
Sawyer knitted his brows, watching as I snatched drawers open, looking for my stash. “You serious, huh?”
“I saw her, bro. She looks just like me.”
“Well damn,” Sawyer muttered, looking like he was the one who’d just found out he had a daughter. “Why the hell are you just finding out?”
“Hmph, take a wild guess.”
“Your mom,” he said, shaking his head.
“My fucking mom. The day she came to tell me, my mom had Zenia there, ready to tell her that she was about to be my wife. She knew she was pregnant, bro. She knew, and she never even mentioned that shit to me.”
“Every time I think you’re exaggerating about your mama, you prove me wrong. Your mom is going to hell in a hand basket for this one.”
“I had to pray all the way here to keep from driving up there and sending her sooner than later.”
“What made her finally tell you about her? Is that why she popped back up after all this time?”
“Nah, I don’t think she ever meant for me to find out.”
“How did you find out then?”
“I just told you I saw her.”
“She brought her here?” he quizzed.
“Damn, you ask a lot of questions. I woke up to her standing in Faith’s bedroom asking who the hell I was. That’s how I found out.”
“Let me ask you something. Do you think the reason Faith is trying to take us down is out of spite for you not being there for them?”
“I think that’s exactly what it is.”
“So, what now?” he asked.
“She wants us to get a DNA test.”
That was what I said, but my honest answer was that I didn’t know what the hell was next.
Everything in me was screaming for me to go back and get my damn family.
Only the smallest part of me realized that I had to give Faith a little time.
Just storming into my little girl’s life like a hurricane would only complicate things more.
I thought Darius getting busted was a shit show. This was some whole other bullshit.
“When do y’all plan on doing the test?”
“I don’t know. I just found out right before I came here.”
The doors to my office flew open, and Paula strutted in carrying her tablet and my morning coffee. She stopped dead in her tracks, obviously sensing the tension in the air.
“Did someone die?” she asked, looking between me and Sawyer.
“Reed just found out he got a kid.”
“A what?” she screeched, nearly dropping my coffee.
“Can we not do this right now?” I requested.
Paula’s eyes doubled in size. “Oh my God, he’s serious!”
“I need you to schedule a DNA test as soon as possible. Find someone who can administer the test ASAP. I’ll pay whatever is necessary to put a rush on it.”
“Reed, you know better. You know how many floozies want to sink their claws into you just because of who you are,” Paula replied.
“I’m well aware of who I am. Can you please make those arrangements for me?”
“When did this even happen? How old is this baby?” she questioned.
“She’s not a baby. She’s six years old.”
“Don’t tell me that little journalist girlfriend of yours has you convinced that her daughter is yours. You know better than to go for that. Just because she has light brown eyes doesn’t make her your child.”
That was a weird thing to say. I frowned as Paula’s words sank in. “Wait, when did you see her?”
“When your friend started sniffing around here, I did a little research of my own. It’s not that hard to find out where people live these days.
I saw the little girl with her and put two and two together.
The kid is cute and all, but you can’t be swayed by that.
I say, don’t get too attached. If I were you, I would keep her at bay until you know for sure. ”
“It’s a good thing you’re not me.”
“You already know the only reason they haven’t moved in with him already is because her mother hates him,” Sawyer stated.
“She doesn’t hate me,” I challenged.
Paula cackled. “She most definitely hates you.”
“This shit is crazy, man,” Sawyer said, as if that were breaking news.
Crazy didn’t even begin to describe the situation. I didn’t need to explain our dynamic to them. I understood that Faith thought I’d let her down. She was hurt and angry. I couldn’t blame her for hating me, but now it was time for my family to come home.
Forget the DNA test. I wanted Faith in my life even before I knew we had a child. Knowing that we shared a beautiful baby girl only made things more urgent. There wasn’t any time left to waste. Snatching my keys up, I jumped up from my desk and headed for the door.
“Where the hell you going?” Sawyer asked.
“To get my babies.”