Chapter Thirty-One
I was awake early the morning of the wedding. The sun had barely peeked above the horizon and Marty was still snoring, curled up at my feet, when I determined I would no longer be able to fall back asleep. The day was finally here. The day Luke and I had worked so hard to make perfect. The work was almost over and now the fun could begin.
I should have been excited. I should have been relieved. Not only were my brother and best friend getting married, but today I would finally prove I could not only take care of myself but show up successfully for the ones I loved. So, why couldn’t I get out of bed?
I lay perfectly still, eyes barely open; the nagging voice inside my head telling me I needed to jump right up and start the day. As maid of honour, and, more importantly, co-wedding planner, I still had a lot to do. I knew that if I checked my phone there would be at least one text from Kate waiting, asking me to pick something up on my way to her place. But still, I lay on my back, watching the sun hit the tree outside my window and flicker across the ceiling. I couldn’t even be bothered to pick up my phone.
I knew that part of being a recovering alcoholic was learning to roll with the low days. Days where I felt so shitty that all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Days where my body was so heavy I could barely move. I hadn’t had one in so long I’d almost forgotten they existed. Why did my brain have to choose this day to remind me?
Normally when this happened, I would just stay away from people. I’d snuggle up with a good book or TV show, maybe call in sick to work. I knew when I had down days I needed to focus on self-care.
But I couldn’t do that today. Today, I couldn’t think about myself. I needed to be there for Kate and Ben. It was their wedding day, the happiest day of their lives. I needed to get my shit together so I could give them the wedding they both deserved.
I groaned and rolled onto my side, hiding my face under my comforter. I’d called Luke after the Stag and Doe to see if he’d wanted to run over the plan once more, destructively wanting to savour our time together before I would sever our ties for good.
Of course, I hadn’t said that I’d also called to see if I could hear Marnie in the background. And he didn’t offer any insights into what had happened with them after karaoke. Was that why I felt so bummed?
After dragging myself out of bed and showering off the self-pity I’d been feeling since Thursday night, I pulled on a pair of faded leggings and one of Ben’s old, discarded University of Toronto sweatshirts. I then sat down at my kitchen table with my laptop and a cup of strong coffee, ready to go over my list one final time.
Kate and Ben had decided to do a short late-afternoon ceremony in the room at the Hotel Saskatchewan where they were having the dinner and dance. Neither of them was religious and neither wanted a church wedding. Ben was going to ask one of his buddies to get his certification online and officiate, but then Kate reminded him that his buddy had never been on time for anything in his life, so they decided to go with a justice of the peace.
The plan was for the bridesmaids to meet at their new house, which Kate had claimed as her home base, and the groomsmen were to meet at our parents’ house so our dad could take part. Hannah had, unfortunately, come down with a cold and was staying with Janet so, after dropping Marty off in an effort to lift her spirits, I called Ben from my car on my way to meet up with the rest of the lady crew.
“Hey.” He picked up on the first ring.
“How’re you doing?”
“Good. Fine. Good.” He sounded manic.
“You sound manic.”
He took a deep breath. “I’m good. Seriously. I’m just nervous.”
“And happy?” I knew he was.
“So happy.” I could hear him smile over the phone.
“You took your meds this morning?”
“Yes, Mom, I took my meds this morning.” He chuckled.
“How’s Dad?” I asked, knowing he was very likely nervous as well. Despite our parents’ limited involvement in our lives, they were far and away the superior pair if you were to compare them to Kate’s. Kate hadn’t seen her absent dad in years and her mom had selfishly declined the wedding invitation due to a river cruise she “just couldn’t get out of.” Kate was initially upset, but she knew it was for the best. She had cried tears of joy when our dad had offered to walk her down the aisle.
“He’s not bad actually,” Ben said. “He walked me down the hallway five times to practise, so I think he’s feeling pretty good about it.”
I laughed. “Aw, that’s so cute.”
“Are you on your way to our place?”
“I’m sitting in the car outside.”
“Why aren’t you—” he started.
“Marnie’s already here.”
“Right. Well, you’ll have to get it over with at some point.”
I sighed. “Yes, I will,” I said. Then, so his wedding day wasn’t all about me, I added, “Everything is going to be great. You and Kate are so perfect for each other it honestly almost makes me puke.”
He laughed. “Thanks?”
“And that’s all that matters,” I continued. “No one else matters today. Just the two of you. Just the two of you together.”
“Love you, Jules.”
“Love you too.”
Fifteen minutes later, I walked in the door of Ben and Kate’s and was met by absolute chaos. And by chaos, I mean Marnie.
“Julie!” she squealed as she grabbed my hands and squeezed. “Isn’t it so exciting?” She held her phone up to my face. “I’m documenting the whole day on my Insta stories. Smile!”
At the sound of Marnie’s screech, an older lady with platinum blonde hair and Marnie’s startling blue eyes spun into the room, a wave of flowery-smelling perfume following in an oppressive cloud behind her. “You must be Julie!” she shouted like I was ten feet away and then aggressively pulled me in for a hug. “Isn’t this exciting?”
Good Lord, there are two of them,I thought, my eyes watering from the sting of whatever sweet hell this woman had sprayed all over herself.
“This is Lydia, my mom.” Marnie strutted towards the kitchen like she owned the place, stepping over boxes that, after four months, were still waiting to be unpacked. “Coffee and Baileys?” She held up the bottle, took a picture of it, and then shook it side to side with her eyebrows raised.
“I don’t drink, Marnie.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s only Baileys.”
“Just coffee, please.”
“You’re no fun.” She pouted.
I was just about to show her how much fun I wasn’t when Kate quietly floated into the room. My mom walked behind, holding Kate’s bouquet, face flushed, eyes glistening. I gave Mom a hug and then stood in front of Kate, taking everything in. She looked absolutely stunning.
The jewelled bodice of the ivory dress hugged her figure perfectly, pouring out into thick waves of rippling silk that lightly brushed her rose-gold sparkling heels. Her hair was pulled away from her face in a sweeping French twist, loose chestnut curls framing her face.
“You look beautiful,” I breathed.
She turned towards the oval mirror hanging in the hall and then back to me. “Do you think Ben will like it?”
“Ben will love it.” I smiled and squeezed her hand.
“He’ll love ripping it off tonight!” Marnie yelled and then mimed a mic drop. “Boom!”
And the spell was broken.
Kate stepped forward and gave me a hug, whispering in my ear, “She’s driving me bananas.”
“Come on,” I said, smothering a laugh, “let’s go see if my dress still fits.”
The parking lot at the hall was almost empty as our ridiculous party bus limo (Marnie and her mom’s gift to the bride) pulled in and parked at the front. The door slid open and we all piled out—me, Kate, Marnie and the moms—in a flurry of sparkles and satin. Marnie and her mom had managed to polish off an entire bottle of champagne on the twenty-minute drive over and they were a bit unsteady on their feet, giggling into their hands on their way to the door, trying to follow Kate, who jogged in so Ben wouldn’t see her.
Kate had held firm on giving me a plus one, just in case I “met someone,” so Quinn, thankfully, had agreed to be my last-minute date. She’d planned to meet me at the venue early to help out if needed, but we were almost a half an hour late due to Kate’s cat Mittens not wanting to enter his cat carrier and, unsurprisingly, even more not wanting to wear a tiny top hat Kate had been trying to gently fasten onto his head.
“Why are you doing this to your poor cat again?” I’d asked.
“He’s the ring bearer, Julie,” she’d said, as if the answer was obvious.
“Well, couldn’t he be the ring bearer without a hat? Why don’t you just weave the ribbon around his collar?”
She stared at me with barely contained exasperation.
“I’ll take care of it.” I gently took the hat and ribbon from her clenched fingers. “Don’t worry; everything will be perfect.”
By the time I’d gotten Mittens into his carrier, I realized I hadn’t had a chance to text Quinn to tell her we’d be late.
You here?I texted her from the parking lot, picking up one of the many feathers that had moulted off the boa Marnie had insisted on wearing.
I’m inside, I read as I walked through the door of the hotel, holding the cat carrier like a purse.
And there she was, quietly shimmering in her own unique brand of colourful radiance. She looked amazing in a gorgeous chocolate-brown retro smock dress, sprinkled with bright teal and yellow polka dots, flared at the arms and hanging just below her knees. Her hair was pulled back in a purple scarf she had fashioned into a headband, and a perfectly curled, perfectly teal ringlet brushed her cheek.
“You look amazing,” I exclaimed. “Your sense of fashion just blows me away.”
“So do you.” She stepped back. “Your dress fits perfectly.”
We walked up the stairs and were met by an anxious Luke, his wide-eyed expression indicating that he wasn’t super pleased with my tardiness.
“You’re late.” I could tell he was making an effort to keep his voice calm.
“Sorry, didn’t Marnie text you we were running behind?” I said as I put the cat carrier down. I knew I was being childish, but I didn’t care.
“No, why would….Never mind, we need to do a walk-through to make sure everything is ready to go.”
“Really?” My eyebrows rose. “Shouldn’t the hotel staff be doing that? Also, this is Quinn.” I gestured to Quinn and she waved.
“Nice to meet you, Quinn.” He smiled, but I could tell he was flustered. He turned back to me. “I’d still really like to do one final check. Just so we can make sure for ourselves.”
“Of course.” I nodded and then turned to Quinn. “Would you mind taking Mittens to Kate’s room? I’ll meet you there in a bit.”
I turned back to Luke and placed my hand on his shoulder. “Everything is going to be fi—”
“Um, Julie?” Quinn’s normally confident voice was unusually hesitant.
I glanced back and followed her gaze.
To the wide-open door of the cat carrier.