Chapter 4 #3
“What? You’d rather I get a man like you who can’t keep his dick in his pants long enough to save our relationship and end up sad for a full decade like Baisleigh?
She’s just getting her life back on track after you ravished her fucking heart and soul.
And, Luca, he was more of the same. The only difference is, he didn’t lead anyone on to believe that they were his match until he was ready to get in the ring with them, for real,” I reminded him.
So quickly he’d seemed to have forgotten their history.
“She is my match,” Laike confirmed, referring to Baisleigh.
“Then, why did you let her get away?”
“Just because we’re good to each other doesn’t mean we’re good for each other.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it, Laike. If that’s what you used to convince yourself that what you did to her was right, then you’re sicker than I thought.”
It was my turn to wear the disgust I felt on my face.
I could hardly look Baisleigh in the face these days for the torture my brother had put her through.
Willingly, she stayed hoping he’d get his act together.
But after years and years of turmoil, he did what we all knew was best and forced her out of his life.
He knew that he was the one mistake she was willing to make over and over if he allowed her to.
Laike loved her far too much to continue to allow it so he put an end to it himself.
Though it shattered Baisleigh, she picked up the pieces and kept pushing.
“I’m not trying to convince myself of nothing, Lyric.
I know I hurt her. You don’t have to keep reminding me.
I see it every time I look into her eyes.
I’m still dealing with that myself. She’s gotten over it by now.
I’m still fucked-up about it, but I did us both a favor by letting her go. I can live with that.”
“You broke her heart, Laike.”
“I broke mine, too.”
“Like, really broke hers.”
“And I would’ve kept breaking it if I hadn’t let her go. It was for the best. She deserved better. I couldn’t give her that. Too young, too much money, and too many bitches ready and willing to do whatever I asked before the words could come from my mouth.”
Perched on the stool at the island, Laike explained himself.
“So, you’d rather I get with a man like that? Huh?”
“Naaaa,” he dragged as he said.
“Then, what are you saying because we both know I tried that route and it didn’t end well for me – for anyone. Especially Luca.”
Folding my arms, I stood next to him and waited for what was to come.
You never knew what to expect from Laike.
Luca was a bit more calculated and predictable.
He was a very smart man so you could always expect him to move as such.
Laike, he was just as wise as Luca. But the coolness and control over his actions that Luca possessed, Laike didn’t.
He reacted – and fast. He and Luca balanced each other so beautifully. They truly complemented one another. Their knowledge was incredible, unbelievable even. Luca was patient. Laike was precise. Often times, I wondered if it was why he was so in love with architecture.
“You need to get off that shit, Lyric,” he hissed, sounding just like the older one of us three.
“Stop blaming yourself for the next nigga’s actions.
It could’ve been a random nigga in the streets pushing the limits, and Luca would’ve done the same thing.
If it was me that had pulled up, I would’ve done the same.
Pops, too. Moms, too. So, let that shit go, sis. ”
“It’s easy for everyone else to say but I’m good.” Shaking my head, I unfolded my arms and dropped them at my side.
“What was the point of Luca paying all that money for that fine ass therapist then?”
He was always thinking with his dick. That was part of his problem. If he could just put those thoughts behind him then he’d be much better off, in love, and giving me more nieces and nephews to spoil.
“She served her purpose. The guilt no longer lingers like it once did, but that fatal night will always have a voice of reasoning in the decisions I make when it comes to men. That’ll never change. If therapy didn’t do its job, then I wouldn’t be seeing Collin seriously.”
“Oh, so you’re seeing him seriously?” Laike cackled.
I punched him in his arm as I rolled my eyes.
“After today, I’ll be his girlfriend and you’re going to treat him with some respect.”
“That’s doable. I can respect the nigga but that does not mean that I have to like him. I don’t and won’t ever pretend that I do.”
“Whatever, Laike. Just behave. That’s all I ask.”
“I can’t make any promises.” Shrugging, he lifted his brows and kept them high with big arches.
“Laike. Do I need to tell Mom?” I countered.
“All you do is snitch.”
“Eggs, turkey bacon, and breakfast potatoes?” I asked, ignoring the little comment he’d made.
“Yeah. I want some oatmeal, too.”
“Alright, greedy.”
“I’ll be in the front. I need to keep the door open a little while to get this system up and running. Put on some damn clothes.”
Standing from the stool he’d been sitting on, Laike opened his arms for me to come inside.
I obliged. Just like when we were kids, I loved hugs from him and Luca.
They’re love was almost all the love that I’d ever needed.
It was the reason I was never pressed for boys when I was a kid or men as an adult.
The love that I was showered with was more than enough to keep me from seeking validation from anyone I was involved with.
“I have on clothes, and my neighbors are too far away to even see what I have going on at my house. That’s also why I have those tall ass bushes. For privacy.”
Stepping away and releasing myself from his embrace, I reminded my big brother.
“I’m not thinking about your neighbors, Lyric. It’s cold out here.”
“Oh, right.” I chuckled, nodding my head.
“Always ready to pop off. Take ya ass upstairs and get out of that thin ass silk. That’s what I should be telling Momma about. Shit looks cheap.”
“Well, it’s not but you’re welcome to buy me more since you have so much shit to say.”
“Charge it to one of my cards. You’ve got all the numbers.”
“Will do.”
When I made it into my room and out of Laike’s sight, I slowly shut the door behind me and placed my back against it.
Sighing in relief, I released the breath that I’d been holding since he walked through the door.
The comfort I’d always felt being openly and freely me had dissolved.
For the first time, in the presence of one of the people I loved most in this world, I felt like a fraud.
Knowing that just hours prior, his best friend was slipping and sliding inside of me, leaving traces of him that could result in long term consequences without his knowledge was disheartening.
And if I hadn’t known it after we’d indulged, I now knew that I’d definitely crossed the line – the very thick one that I knew better than anyone not to get near.
The thought was invasive, consuming my entire mind and body at once.
I was immobile, crippled as I remembered what I’d done and how fucking good it felt doing it.
The fact that I wanted to do it again and again was repulsive.
Get your shit together, Lyric, I chastised.
Inhaling, I reserved a pit of oxygen that I slowly exhaled seconds later. As I counted down from ten, I could feel my body and mind relaxing. My splintered nerves slowly rejoined as I centered myself.
My cell rang out loud as I came from under the agonizing stress my actions had placed me under. I rushed to my bed, finally mobile again. Seeing Collin’s contact flash on the screen made my heart smile.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Good morning,” his baritone warmed the line as he greeted me.
“Morning.”
“I was thinking about you on my way to this meeting. What do you say we go to lunch tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow is a little tight for me. What about Monday? Brunch, maybe?”
“Brunch sounds good.”
“And, I was thinking about what you asked me last night.”
“What about it? You don’t have to decide now. Like you said, you need a little time to think about it.”
“I’ve thought about it.”
“And?”
“I want to move forward. I’d love to take this thing between us to the next level,” I revealed.
“Lyric, you sure?” he asked, I could hear the smile in his tone.
“Yes. I’m sure. I’ve thought about it and made my decision.”
“You just made me the happiest man alive, Lyric!”
“Did I?” My heart galloped in my chest. It made me happy to hear that I made him happy.
“Yeah. You did! Are you sure you can’t squeeze me in tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow but Monday for sure, Collin. I already agreed to some family stuff tomorrow. I can’t back out of that, ever.”
“Got it. I can’t wait to see you on Monday, then.”
“Same,” I replied, looking forward to our day date on Monday.
“Talk to you later.”
“Later.”
I ended the call and held my cell to my chest in disbelief. After a decade, I was finally a girlfriend again. The realization of it all curved my lips up into a smile.