25. Beckett #2
Hearing that I’d earned her trust, that she found me worthy of this journey we were on, was everything I didn’t know I needed.
Sawyer was more guarded than most. She didn’t let people in easily.
The fact that she let me prove how committed I was not only to this baby but to her as well was all that I could ask for.
The door opened, and the doctor walked in, giving us both a polite smile. She took the seat in front of us, nodding at Sawyer. “Ms. Sutton. Wonderful to see you. I take it this is Dad?” She extended her hand. “I’m Dr. Adler. Pleasure to meet you.”
“Beckett Montgomery,” I said, beaming with pride at being called ‘Dad.’ “I’m excited to be here.”
Dr. Adler turned toward Sawyer. “How’re you feeling? We’re in the home stretch now.”
Sawyer laughed, placing a hand on her stomach. “Well, I’ve been a bit more tired lately, but that’s to be expected according to all the baby blogs I’ve read. And he encountered a bit of a growth spurt over the past month.”
“I see that,” the doctor murmured, checking Sawyer’s chart.
“You’ve gained about twelve pounds over the past 6 weeks, which is slightly on the higher side.
I’m not too concerned, given how little you gained earlier on, but it is something I’d like to keep an eye on.
Have you noticed any other symptoms or complications? ”
“Uh, no. Not really,” Sawyer said nervously. “My appetite is back to normal. Although I may need to stop giving in to those late-night cookie cravings.”
“What about any changes in vision? Headaches?”
I wasn’t sure if this was routine questioning, but it left me feeling uneasy. Like she was searching for the answer to something she already had the answer to.
“Not really,” Sawyer said.
It took everything I had not to call bullshit right then and there. “You’ve had some dizzy spells recently,” I corrected. “About five or so in the last week.”
“Sawyer?” Dr. Adler turned to her. “Is that true?”
She waved off our concern. “I stood up too fast. That’s all.”
The stern look on Dr. Adler’s face told me that was a lie. “What have I told you about disclosing your symptoms during pregnancy? Many look inconspicuous, but when pieced together, they can signal trouble. I have to know everything in order to properly care for you.”
Sawyer shifted uncomfortably with all the attention in the room on her.
She looked like a scolded kid receiving a lecture.
Finally, she let out a heavy sigh. “It’s happened more at work because I’m constantly on my feet,” she admitted sheepishly.
“And there have been a few headaches here and there. I’ve been monitoring my blood pressure daily, and it hasn’t been bad. ”
I blinked back my shock. She hadn’t told me any of this. Whenever I asked her how she felt, she always told me she was fine. A little tired, a little cranky, but fine. Did Olivia know about any of this? Surely not. She was sometimes more of a watchdog than I was.
“Define ‘hasn’t been bad,’” Dr. Adler said, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees.
“Yesterday was 139/92,” she mumbled.
Dr. Adler stared straight ahead. “And today, you’re sitting at 143/90. It’s too high, and you know that.”
I glanced between the two, trying to catch up. “I’m sorry. I’m new to this. Can someone clue me in on what this means?”
“It means that Sawyer is at risk of developing preeclampsia, if she hasn’t already.
We’ll need to order blood and urine tests to see how well her liver and kidneys are functioning.
I did take a look at the ultrasound you had earlier, which looks good, but we’ll need to monitor his growth closely to ensure he maintains that,” she said, glancing through Sawyer’s paperwork.
“I’m also going to start you on medication.
You’re early enough in your pregnancy that, depending on how the tests come out, you may still be able to have a normal birth, but that can change if you don’t take this seriously. ”
Sawyer's hands curled around the exam bed, tightening to the point her knuckles lost all color. “What about my job? I can’t just stop working.” Her voice grew more frantic with each statement. I placed my hand on her back to steady her, to show her I was there, but it didn’t seem to calm her down.
Dr. Adler reached forward, patting Sawyer’s hand. “You already know what I’m going to say. You can work as long as you limit your physical exertion, but judging by what you’ve told me about your job, I don’t know how possible that is.”
Sawyer hung her head, shoulders shaking as she stifled her tears. She didn’t need to worry about money. I could take care of everything for her, but saying that right now wouldn’t make things better. It wouldn’t give her back the sense of independence that’d just been ripped away.
The doctor looked at me, offering a sympathetic smile.
“I know it’s hard to hear, Sawyer. But if you want this baby to go to term, we have to take this seriously.
I’m sorry.” She stood, hovering just beside the door.
“I’m going to order an extensive panel of blood tests so we can get a better look.
I also want you to do a twenty-four hour urine sample. ”
Sawyer looked up, mortified. “You don’t mean…”
She nodded. “Congratulations. You get to pee in a jug for twenty-four hours. I’ll rush the tests and set an appointment for Friday morning to go over everything.”
“What can I do to help?” I asked. I wasn’t used to feeling helpless, but my hands were tied here. There wasn’t anything I could do to change what was happening.
“Keep an eye on her. Monitor her blood pressure closely. Try to keep track of any dizziness, headaches, or edema. I’d say tell her to take it easy, but she doesn’t seem like the type.”
I expected Sawyer to shoot me a dirty look or smart off, but she remained silent. “No, she’s not,” I said, giving a tight smile. “But I’ll do what I can.”
“That’s all we can ask for.” Dr. Adler opened the door and patted the frame. “Oh, and no sex. Not until I have a better idea of her condition.”
Fuck me. She didn’t even realize that wasn’t a concern between us, but what if it had been? The guilt would’ve eaten me alive if anything had happened to her.
“I’ll see you both on Friday morning. The nurse will come by to give you your souvenir, and you can schedule your appointment at the front.”
The moment she was gone, Sawyer cursed angrily, making a grab for her purse. Unfortunately for her, I was faster. “Hey, deep breaths? Talk to me.”
She rolled her eyes and slid off the table. “I don’t really want one of your pep talks right now, Beckett. There’s no amount of deep breathing that can fix this.”
“Then tell me how I can help,” I said earnestly. “Whatever you need. Say the word, and it’s yours.”
“I can’t do that.” She shook her head, placing her hand over her chest. “You can’t fix this. No one can. And once Olivia and Duke find out, they’ll put me on leave.”
“What’s so wrong with that? You deserve to rest, especially if it’ll be better for you and the baby.”
“You don’t get it.” Her clipped words were in such juxtaposition compared to our earlier conversations. The shine was gone, leaving behind the ugly truth. Her life was no longer her own. I think she understood that on some level before, but this was yet another reminder.
Sawyer moved toward the door, but I stopped her. “Then help me get it, sugar. Help me understand. Is this about money?”
“Of course it is!” she bit out. “I don’t have a well-off family to fall back on, and FMLA doesn’t pay my wages. It just protects my job.”
I didn’t take her words to heart, but they stung nonetheless. Couldn’t she see past the impending doom and know that I would take care of her? “But Olivia—”
“Olivia will ensure I keep my paycheck because she knows that I need it, but she’s also going to need to hire someone to cover my shifts. We hadn’t planned on that until later. Much later.” She placed her hand on her belly, voice breaking as she said, “It’s just a lot to take in.”
There was genuine fear in her eyes. Fear that I wanted nothing more than to take away and replace with something better, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how.
I pulled her into my arms, surprised when she went willingly.
“It’s okay to be scared, Sawyer. Hell, I am, too.
I don’t want anything happening to you or our son, and I will do anything in my power to make sure you both are safe.
” I took a breath, hoping she would really listen to my next words.
“I know you don’t like it, but what good is having access to all this money if I can’t spend it on the people who matter most to me? ”
“The people I love” would’ve been more accurate, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Not now. Not here. When I finally said those words, I wanted it to be special.
She deserved flowers, candles, and a homemade dinner beneath the stars.
She deserved everything good that this world had to offer, and I was capable of giving her that.
If only she let me.