11. Not Yours, But Mine
Not Yours, But Mine
You can do it. You can do it.
I tell myself this as I stare at my reflection.
I’ve done my best to look presentable. That’s all I’m aiming for.
Presentable. It’s a coping mechanism of sorts.
If I try to make myself pretty, it might lead me to comparing myself to Sadie.
But if I just aim to be presentable, then I can at least convince myself that I simply want to be… professional for the meeting.
So yes, presentable.
I reach for my mascara. Then my lip gloss. I just want to add some color to my face and not look like a ghost when I’m served the divorce papers.
You can do it, I tell myself one last time before leaving my room.
But once I’m out, and I’m on my way to the conference room, that’s when I realize I might not be able to do it after all.
Because the one thing I accidentally overlooked?
It’s how everyone’s interested in Ruel, aka Mr. Mysterious to many, and it’s this interest that has all heads turning my way when they realize where I’m heading. Many of them are my coworkers, and I can almost hear their thoughts when they finally notice I’m not in my uniform.
They all start talking as soon as I walk past them, but I do my best to block it all out. It’s already all too easy to imagine what they’re thinking—
Who does she think she is?
Is she really going in there?
Has she lost her mind?
But I’m sure their thoughts are much worse in reality, so…nope.
I’ve come to accept I’ll never be a genius. But that doesn’t mean I’m dumb enough to sign myself up for pointless torment when I don’t have to.
So just focus, Kar.
Keep walking.
A few last steps to go.
And finally, I’m inside the conference room, which is as spacious and luxurious as everything is inside the country club.
My lawyer, Fredericka Grachyov, is already there.
She’s a lovely gray-eyed redhead, and depending on who you’re speaking to, people may recognize her as the cherished wife of Russian billionaire Sergei Grachyov…
but on the other hand, she’s famous as well for being the legal counsel of high-profile clients such as the Emir Sheikh of Ramil and Reid Chalkias, the Prince of Darkness himself.
And now, there’s me. The least impressive of her clients, and even worse for her, I can’t afford her fees either.
I was very honest about that when I gave Fredericka a call and told her I needed someone to represent me.
But she still said yes, and I’m so, so glad and grateful that she did.
It just means so much, knowing she’s on my side, and it’s what gives me the courage to finally face the men standing on the other side of the room.
Adriano Kontides, Ruel’s lawyer, is another familiar sight.
He’s a billionaire in his own right, and like Fredericka and Sergei, he knows who I am and how I ended up married to Ruel.
He’s always been gentle and nice whenever we get to talk, but now that we’re on opposing sides of divorce proceedings?
It has me bracing myself for the worst, in case I find any semblance of hostility in his gaze. He has every reason to think I’m a burden to his client since that’s exactly what I am. But when I finally find the courage to meet his gaze—
Oh.
Adriano’s eyes are somber but still kind, and that has me taking quick, shallow breaths.
Don’t cry, don’t cry!
But when I finally muster the courage to look at Ruel—
Oh no.
It’s even harder to keep my tears from falling. I wish I could say that knowing we’re about to be divorced is more than enough to change how I see him. But it’s not. He’s still the most beautiful man in my eyes. Still the most honorable.
And that’s why you’re here, I remind myself fiercely.
I can’t let my own feelings mess this up.
I need to let him go.
It’s the least I can do, after everything he’s done to keep me alive.
“Shall we begin?” Fredericka’s tone is brisk and efficient, and I tell myself that’s something I can focus on for the rest of the meeting.
Efficient.
Because the sooner we’re done here, the better.
The men wait until we’re seated on one side of the table before taking their seats on the other side. Ruel’s knees bump into mine, and the contact makes me jerk in my seat, but his expression remains unchanging.
Fredericka and Adriano begin to talk. The first part is easy to follow. It’s all about non-disclosure, which I’m quite familiar with. I signed an NDA before we married, and so it kinda makes sense that we need another NDA to end it.
But after that, well…
I do my best to concentrate, and I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses or anything, but…I’m really not the smart and bookish type. They’re using so many big words that it’s all I can do to keep my eyes from glazing over, and—
Oops!
I only realize I’ve almost fallen asleep when I find myself nodding off, and of course it just has to be Ruel who catches this—
I see it in the way his eyes gleam, and I’m about to make a face when—
No, no, no!
I can’t believe I almost let myself forget what we’re here for in the first place.
You’re about to get divorced, Kar!
And so I simply sit up straight and try one more time to concentrate. I’ll focus on what I understand and just make a note of what I don’t—
“May I have five minutes to talk to my client in private?”
Or I can just ask my lawyer for a recap since it’s apparently too late, and everything that needs to be discussed has already been discussed.
Adriano glances at Ruel before responding. “Of course.”
I’m not sure what to feel when Ruel doesn’t even look my way as they leave the room. But when Fredericka quietly tells me about Ruel’s conditions for the divorce…
My feelings about it are unequivocal.
“You’re telling me he won’t sign—”
And it has me in tears.
“If I don’t accept a monthly stipend?”
Fredericka shows me a document prepared by Adriano’s office in advance, which provides an itemized breakdown of what that stipend amounts to. He basically wants to take care of everything for me my entire life, and it just makes me cry harder.
“He’s always too nice,” I choke out.
Fredericka hands me a box of tissues, and I can only be thankful the men aren’t here as I blow my nose.
“Take your time, Karyna,” she says gently. “You don’t have to make a decision right away.”
I crumple the used tissue into a ball, and by the time I throw it in the waste basket, I’ve made up my mind.
Fredericka steps out of the office to inform the other side of my conditions, and five minutes later, it’s…not my lawyer who walks back in.
Instead, it’s Ruel, and he looks ready to bite my head off.
"Just sign the damn papers," he says, his jaw clenched.
I shake my head. "I'm done being a burden to you. I want a divorce on my terms—"
"Your terms are the height of idiocy," he snaps.
Maybe it is in his eyes, but I don’t care.
"I want to earn my keep—"
"Then don't touch my money," he growls. "Just keep it—"
"If you want this divorce," I interrupt him shakily, "then it should be on my terms."
He stares at me like he’s just one second away from strangling me for real, and I barely manage to stand my ground.
The room is so quiet I’m worried he might be able to hear how hard my heart is pounding.
“I’m serious,” he says finally.
Well, so am I!
Those are the words I’ve already opened my mouth to say, but I end up changing my mind when I see how he’s glaring at me.
"If you haven't signed these papers by tomorrow," he warns, "you will never have your freedom.”
My eyes widen. Is he saying—
“I'll keep you as my wife, for better or for worse."
Oh yes!
Hooray!
I mean—oh, I don’t even know how to process this, and all I can do is hold my breath when he leans forward like a six-foot-tall threat in motion.
"Don't push me, Karyna. If you don't want to see who I really am…sign the damn papers."