Chapter 12
Maverick
“The engine is busted,” Denny said, his face full of grease and his eyes red from lack of sleep.
I ran my hand through my hair out of frustration.
This was the third major issue with the current state of the cars in the shop.
Dust Line was one of the best car shops around, and I knew I ran a tight ship, but with everything going on right now, this was the last thing I needed.
“What’s it gonna take?”
“I need to find parts, man.”
“Then go to Son’s Supply,” I said, angrily. “Talk to them, come back and fix it. The client’s been waiting for a week.”
“Not my fault everyone needs their car fixed this week.” The little runt had the nerve to say under his breath. I was pissy, I knew it, but I didn’t give a fuck. They had a fucking job to do.
“Bad time?”
I turned at the familiar voice, my anger shifting immediately. “Lani?”
“Hey Dad…mind if we talk?”
My stomach sunk. “Is every—”
“Oh, yeah, everyone is fine. I just…thought maybe we could talk?”
Lani was twisting her fingers through the lace of her top, her eyes shooting to the ground as if she were nervous.
For the first time in as long as I could remember, she wasn’t flipping me off or cursing me out.
Everything inside of me wanted to hide her behind me and protect her from whatever was freaking her out, but I had a strong inclination it was me.
“Yeah…of course. Come inside.”
I ushered her into the building, and down the hall to where I had my own office. Closing the door, I moved behind the desk and watched her take in the room. Her eyes zoned in on the photos immediately. I knew she had an eye for art.
“These are beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
She turned, her eyes moving over me, her brows furrowed in confusion. “You took these?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I had a time in my life when I felt lost. I’d go on long rides with my mate Wyatt and I’d take photos to remind me of what Australia really looks like. The side of Australia that isn’t in the tourist shops.”
Lani looked impressed but turned her back to take in the photos again. She was so like her mother, it was mind-boggling. “You have a good eye,” she said as she turned back around to face me. Lowering her eyes, back to her top where she was pulling at the strands.
“What did you want to talk about? I don’t think you’ve ever visited me here before.”
“I can go if it’s not okay…”
I could see the fear all over her face like maybe she’d done the wrong thing, with an edge of anger. She’d only looked at me with derision and anger recently, so this was a welcome change, but I didn’t like the fact that she thought she had done the wrong thing.
It didn’t sit well with me at all.
“No,” I said, standing immediately. “Of course not. You can always come and see me. I just…I figured you hated me…well, for everything.”
She chuckled lightly, but not out of humour, more out of relief. “No…I don’t think I ever hated you. I was angry. I felt like…I don’t know, maybe you didn’t love me, or I wasn’t good enough for you.”
Ouch.
“Lani…I could never think that about you, or your brother. I know it’s hard to understand…
I don’t even know how I had the strength to stay away, but I thought I was doing the right thing.
I was…in a dark time. The club I was part of was in the middle of a war.
I’d just witnessed two of my friends’ deaths and I had to see their families cry for them at their funerals.
I had to watch as their kids laid roses on their graves, and cried for their dad, but before that…
I had to watch my brothers protect their family with everything they had.
They didn’t sleep, they stayed awake in case something came for them.
I couldn’t let that happen to you or your brother.
I wouldn’t survive something happening to you. ”
I could feel the pressure in my chest getting tighter as I thought about something happening to them. The pain I’d felt for years knowing I couldn’t be a part of their lives.
Things are different now. I could be if I really wanted to, but I knew Mari’s husband wouldn’t want that. He did a damn good job raising them. I didn’t want to intrude. I figured I could just take over when they were old enough to be my friends.
Lani nodded, as if she understood what I was saying. “Parenting is hard.”
“Hardest damn job I’d ever had, but also…”
“The most rewarding.”
“Yeah,” I replied, wondering how she knew that.
“Tavi told me. She said you loved me, but you couldn’t risk my safety, and that I should come and talk to you about how I was feeling about it.”
My heart beat a little faster hearing her name come up.
It was stupid. I knew it was, but I was desperate to hear about her.
I was due to see her tonight, and I had a plan for it, but just hearing that she had told Lani to come and talk to me, that filled me with so much emotion, I was afraid I would break.
It was stupid how much I felt for that woman.
“What did she say?” I asked finally.
Lani smiled. “She told me that you did what you thought was right at the time, but you missed us. You loved us, and only wanted the best for me and Bane, but if I really needed to, I should come and talk to you.”
Warmth flooded my entire chest. “You like her?”
Lani nodded, with a soft smile. “She’s really nice. I like Van too. He’s like a crazy version of Bane. Even beats him at Mario Kart.”
I let out a chuckle, unable to stop myself, because I could see it.
That kid was ready to take on the world at the drop of a hat.
I fucking missed his crazy mornings. I missed waking up and getting him breakfast to let Tavi sleep a little more, because I knew she’d never had that before, but also because it gave me time with Van so we could be boys.
It had been a thing I’d wanted to do with Bane before I’d made my decision. Fuck, I had a lot to make up for.
“I’m sorry I messed up…I…fuck–shit—damn, I’m a really bad dad.”
Lani was by my side, holding my hand in hers and squeezing it. “I don’t think you’re the worst dad, like in the grand scheme of things, I definitely wouldn’t call you Hitler, but yeah, you made a pretty dumb decision…but if you thought it was to protect us…I think I kinda get it.”
Her soft hand on my scarred and rough one just showed that she was young. Too young to be the voice of reason here.
“I don’t know how to ask for your forgiveness, Lani.”
“Then don’t. Show us you love us.”
Fuck me. My chest swelled. “When did you get so fucking grown up.”
Lani chuckled, and I could see the emotion in her eyes, teetering on the edge of spilling over. “Since I turned fucking sixteen, Dad.”
We both laughed, and relaxed our postures. Something changing between us, acceptance and relief, perhaps. I’d always craved this, a relationship between me and my kids. I always suspected it would be Bane first, but I’d take Lani, at the drop of a hat.
“Are we good?” I ventured, suddenly feeling the tightness in my chest again.
“I want to say yes, but something tells me I need to see how we go…is that okay? If we just do it slowly?”
“That is more than okay, Lani. I respect that a hell of a lot, especially for someone your age. Fuck me, you’re so grown up.”
“It’s okay, if you wanted to still have a kid to look after you’ve got Bane. He’s a lunatic with the brain of a three year old sometimes.”
I barked out a laugh that I didn’t even know I had in me. “I’ll keep that in mind. What are you up to today?”
“Well, I was supposed to hang with a friend, but I really don’t feel like it. She has this new boyfriend and he’s just so boring…so I’ll probably just go home and do my homework.”
“Sounds smart,” I told her. “I guess this means…you have no boyfriend?”
Lani rolled her eyes. “We’re not there yet, Dad.”
I held my hands up in defeat. “Okay, but you know you can come to me for anything. Dad or not, I just want the best for you, kid.”
Lani nodded. “I think I’ve always known that, to be honest, but it’s nice hearing it. I promise, I will tell you if I need you to intervene.”
“I’ll accept that. How is…Van?”
Lani cocked her head to the side, almost the same way Mari did when she realised she was onto something. It was uncanny how much she looked like her. “Van…or Tavi?”
“Am I that transparent?”
“Like glass, Dad,” she chuckled before she sat down on the chair. “I think you should talk to her. Tell her everything. She likes honesty, and I think if you do that, she will listen.”
Fuck…this kid. Seriously, giving me a run for my money.
“Got it.”
Lani nodded. “I’ll let you get back to work. Thank you for, you know, listening.”
I stood when she did, unsure of what to do, how to say goodbye after we just laid all our shit out into the open like that.
“Um,” Lani started, her nervousness coming back, before I saw her hand gravitate toward the doorknob. “So…I guess I’ll just–”
“Lani…do you—fuck, I don’t know how to do this shit. Do you want to…”
My arms were out, beckoning her over before I could voice what I was trying to say. She lifted her face, her eyes seeking mine, and a slow smile made its way onto her face, before she ran into my arms and wrapped hers around my body.
There weren’t enough words in the fucking dictionary for how it felt to have your grown ass daughter hug you like you were the only thing she ever wanted to keep her safe.
After so long thinking she hated you, she finally told you what she was feeling and now you were on the path to being okay, and now she was hugging me like I could tear all the bad things away from her world.
Fuck I would if I could.
I’d never let her have tears on her face if I could. I’d burn the fucking world down before that happened.
Lani pulled from the hug first, and I looked down at my daughter, proud of the woman she was. Of the courage it took to come here and tell me how she was feeling.
That was all Mari.
I had royally fucked this one up and I knew it, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be her Dad now. I’d just be the best damn dad she could imagine.
“Call Tavi,” she said, as she headed for the door. Turning back, she offered me a comforting smile. “Trust me…call Tavi before it’s too late.”