Chapter 9
chapter nine
donavan
Could I have unattached sex with my best friend? I mean, it was different with the other women. They weren’t Ivory, but she wanted me to treat her like one of them? I wanted to be offended and a part of my pride was.
I’m only good enough for a good time but not a long time? I needed time to really think about this whole thing with Ivory, it wasn’t so simple for me.
“How about we table this discussion for another time, I just need to process it all so I can properly give you an answer.” Her crestfallen face broke something inside of me, but if I went into this thing with her blindly, I might not come out the same.
Ivory nodded and we finished our dinner in a tense silence that I, for one, didn’t want to break.
“Mama, I’m home.” I sang through the house, I didn’t hear my parents in the living room, but both of their cars were in the driveway.
My eyes trailed over the wall of family photos that my mom made us all help her with when they first moved into this house five years ago.
There were a few additions, too, one being from Graycen and Camille’s proposal.
I got shitfaced that night, because that’s when I found out about Ivory’s engagement, too.
“Dj, I know this is not the right time to tell you, but how could I keep this from my best friend?” Ivory whispered in my ear, while we watched Graycen sway with Camille across the room.
I helped Graycen plan the perfect engagement for Camille, he used her love of sports and photography to surprise her.
It was my job to distract her, along with her best friend, Sade.
We acted as if she was hired for a shoot for one of my buddies from college who played baseball.
Alan Adkins, he was just on the cover of SportsMania and Camille was ready to add more players to her portfolio.
Once we got her to the location, we somehow convinced her to change her clothes and that’s when she got suspicious, but by the time she came out the dressing room, everything fell into place.
Gray told me she knew marriage was next for them, but he was waiting for the perfect time to propose. They both cried, even though Graycen would never admit it.
It went from a proposal to a party in a matter of minutes. Ivory was late, and now it all made sense.
The diamond on her hand was huge, a cluster ring, which I knew she hated.
Ivory was the girl who had her ring and wedding dress picked out and placed in a binder since we were in high school.
Even though I hadn't seen her book in years, I knew she hated gaudy jewelry, she was a minimalist and swore that she wanted something simple and elegant.
“Oh wow, congratulations, Ivy.” I hugged her as tightly as I could. In a sense, it was an official goodbye to my wildest dreams, and that ring was the symbol of finality in my mind. Even though I knew she didn’t like men, in my messed up mind, I prayed that I would be the exception.
It was fucked up, but that reality only ever lived in my mind.
The infectious energy radiated off of her. She was happy and as her best friend, it was my duty to be happy for her, too.
“I’m so sorry you weren’t there, Acacia didn’t realize this was the same day as Graycen’s proposal.
I rushed over here as soon as I could, was Camille surprised?
Ugh, you know how much I love weddings and love.
I guess it’s the hopeless romantic in the both of us.
” I smiled and nodded at her gushing and Ivory was so caught up in her love spell, she didn’t notice I hadn’t gotten a word in since.
I was hopeless alright, hopelessly devoted to her happiness.
“Congratulations, Ivy, I know this is what you’ve always wanted.”
“Boy, you almost caught something you probably wouldn’t have wanted to see.” My father Elijah teased, walking down the stairs, adjusting his bathrobe.
He had the after sex glow, and I almost threw up in my mouth. On one hand, I was happy that my parents were still in love, but who in the world wants to know that they are actively still having sex.
“Don’t play with me, old man, you know I don't play when it comes to my mama. Tracey, get down here before I have to hurt your husband.” I hollered jokingly up the stairs.
My dad threw me a jab that I didn’t block in time.
His 6’4 frame weighing over 265 lbs. was enough for me to wince.
It worked out in his favor as a retired player in the NBA, that’s how my parents met.
They were both great basketball players in their own right, and apparently, fell in love at a charity ball one night.
The way my dad loved on my mama was admirable and stuck in my mind from the time I was a kid until now. I knew that I deserved a powerful love, too.
“What brings you by, son? Is everything okay, I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks. You know she was gonna pay you a visit if you didn’t stop by, right?” That’s why I popped up today. My time had been filled with Ivory and I’ve been in my own personal lala-land.
Walking into the kitchen, I washed my hands before grabbing some leftovers from the fridge. My mother always had food prepared for us anytime we’d stop by during the week. This spaghetti was about to hit the spot.
“I wanted to talk to you guys, but maybe it’s better that only you came down. Things between Ivory and me are different now and I don’t know how to navigate this new road we’ve stumbled upon.” I stuffed some food in my mouth, avoiding his questioning eyes.
Elijah Matthews hated it when we’d beat around the bush. He had always been a straight shooter.
“Different in what way, son? Come on, man, you know I need you to just put it all on the table.” He drank a whole bottle of water in one gulp.
Straightening to stare him in the eyes, “We’ve kissed recently and now she’s curious enough to see what else she’s interested in exploring with me.” He raised his eyebrows before chuckling slightly.
“I can’t say I saw this coming, maybe when you all were in college, but definitely not now.
Can you tell me without invading y’all’s privacy, what brought this kiss on?
” I placed another forkful of food in my mouth; I skipped breakfast this morning and rushed out the house before Ivory could wake up.
It wasn’t my proudest moment, but I didn’t want to answer her questions before I had an actual answer myself.
“Honestly, I can’t even answer that question.
We have always been close, but there had been some distance between us since Acacia started getting suspicious of us.
I didn’t want to make her feel insecure, so I took a step back so they could focus on their relationship. ” He nodded for me to continue.
“I kept my feelings for her in check, I never crossed any boundaries or looked too long. One day, she started staring at me a little bit differently, giving me signals that she was jealous when seeing me with other women. I acted on the vibes she started giving me, which led to the kiss.”
“Oh my goodness, you two kissed?!” My mother screeched, gliding into the kitchen. I stared accusingly at my dad, and he raised his hands in mock surrender.
“I was stuck in the story, son, I didn’t know she was coming. But, your momma might be able to help with this conversation. She is a woman, after all.” He scooted back from the dining room table a bit to make space for her to sit in his lap.
I quickly ran through the details for my momma, and she was cheesing the entire time. She always loved Ivory and saw her as a daughter.
“Wow, that is quite the story. I can’t say I’m surprised, though, you are quite the man if I say so myself.
The way you have loved and cared for Ivory, it’s hard for any woman to resist. You have to understand that these feelings are probably jarring for her, too, so just communicate with her.
Where do you want this to go at the end of it all?
” My mom was right, this was a minefield for the both of us.
“I want what you both have, I always have. But the only person I want the happily ever after with is her. That’s the woman for me and I can feel it in my spirit.” My parents proudly smiled at me.
“Then you have to make her see what you see. Ivory listens to her head and not always her heart. I know that child as if she was one of my own, make her feel why you’re the best person for her.
She may not like men, but you’re more than your biological identity.
Obviously, there is something there, and I believe it is worth exploring.
Don’t stop until she sees it, too; what is God telling you, baby?
” Ivory was a frequent prayer point for me, I just wanted God to bless her with her heart’s desires.
Some of the anxiety I carried since our last conversation disappeared at the reminder of my relationship with God, I woke up daily and did bible study.
There wasn’t a time in my life when I made a major move without seeking guidance about it.
God was tired of me holding up the prayer line for stupid stuff, but I took my spiritual journey seriously.
“He told me to trust him and allow things to happen naturally, I just have to be me and everything else will work out.” I kissed my mom on the forehead, hugged my father and stopped by the store to grab a few things for Ivory before heading home.
She would be in a mood; luckily for me, I was used to her moods.