Chapter 10
chapter ten
ivory
Scrolling through my emails, I had an interview with a new client on Monday. Everything with Donavan had been the perfect distraction from my failed attempt at my own wedding. Did I really fail, though? I didn’t leave her… she left me.
I needed to really wrap my brain around the fact that I wasn’t to blame for any of it.
The people-pleaser in me did anything and everything Acacia wanted.
I cooked or at least attempted to, cleaned, and put my dreams on hold to support her in her goals.
Donavan took a step back from our friendship, so I wasn’t forced to have that tough conversation with him.
“Why can’t you see that he is in love with you?
! I’m not stupid, Ivory; I see the way he looks at you.
It’s not cool, and after we’re married, you need to let him know his place.
Before I can do something for you, here comes do-it-first-Donavan to the rescue.
You don’t have to lie to me; you can tell me if you have feelings for him.
It won’t matter because whose bed are you in right now?
” Acacia’s warm beige skin had a red tint, a beautiful mixture of her Afro-Latina descent.
She was furious; it was the same fight we had every three months.
She had it in her head that my best friend was in love with me, it didn’t matter what I said to quiet those accusations. Were we close? Very, but it was innocent.
“Donavan has never given me an inkling that he looked at me as more than just a best friend, we have never crossed any boundaries and we’ve been friends for ten years.
I can’t just cut him out of my life, he’s my family.
What can we do to make this work? You have to understand, he has been with me through every big milestone in my life; shoot, he’s the whole reason I gave you my number in the first place.
If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be here.
” She rolled her eyes, but I saw the surprise in her eyes.
She thought that it was her who’d worn me down after pressing me every day for my number, but that wasn’t the case.
He told me to listen to my heart and take a chance, so I did.
“He does things for you that are my job to do, it doesn’t make me feel secure as your girl.
Set some boundaries with him or there might not be a wedding.
” That conversation happened a year ago, I did what she told me and it still wasn’t good enough.
I would have cut off my own best friend for her; thankfully, I didn’t.
Donavan was the one here for me more than anyone else.
My family had been checking in on me, but they inadvertently gave me space.
Donavan demanded and I listened. It was weird because I had no problem following him blindly through the field, but Acacia would have to give me a full explanation as to why we needed to do or go wherever she suggested.
One of the main problems in our relationship was that she’d been so unreliable, and never took the initiative to follow through with said plan.
She always had the plan but never the power to pull through.
I didn’t complain for the first year of our relationship, I was too damn happy to have my person.
After everything happened with my father, I didn’t want to make a fuss with the others in my life.
Making myself unexpendable to my loved ones became my passion.
Knowing that I did everything right and it had only gotten me the short end of the stick, sucked.
My new client was newly engaged and she wanted a destination wedding; they planned for Arizona, which I had never been to.
Clarissa and her fiancée, had met on a dating app, they fell deeply in love and were getting married after only dating for four weeks.
I thought she was pranking me, but nevertheless, they were in love.
It wasn’t up to me to qualify if a couple was in love or not.
All I had to do was make their wedding date the happiest day of their lives.
I needed to stay busy anyways because Donavan was set to start the season soon.
He took a break right before my wedding, and since we’re approaching the first week in January, the PGA Tour season was starting.
He’s been golfing for ten years now, he’d earned the right to take a break when he wanted. But I knew he attended the Waste Management Phoenix Open every year, and this time, I would be able to attend.
I heard him the minute he came through the door, my nerves were through the roof.
There weren’t many times where I found myself nervous around him.
Us venturing into this new territory might not have been the best idea.
But, something in me needed to see this through, a part of me realized that it may be deeper than sexuality.
There is something in my best friend that is tethering his spirit to mine in a different way than what we’ve always known.
“Ivy, where are you?” The tone of his voice was worried, did he think I would leave? That man couldn’t drive me away so easily, we’d been friends for over a decade; I have seen him at his worst and he’s seen me at mine.
“I’m upstairs, in your library. I’m jealous of this, by the way, Acacia refused to make space for my books. A piece of me died when I had to give you my precious babies, I’ve had a few of these since high school.” Donavan appeared in the doorway, looking like a wet dream – my wet dreams, literally.
He was dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and it took all of my strength to not stare at that thing. It was the same size as my favorite dildo, I’ve worn that one out many times, I’m on my third one.
“You’re lucky, I love books almost as much as golf.
I kept your babies safely on the shelf for you.
Most of them should be there, don’t get your grimy hands on mine.
I remember the way you used to tear your pages up, just use a bookmark.
If you can’t treat my babies the right way, I might have to ban you from this room.
” He teasingly mumbled, before pulling my feet into his lap and showing them some love.
Donavan’s library was a dream come true; he had black floor to ceiling shelves with books filling each shelf.
On the other side of the room was a huge photo of him from four years ago, when he was featured on the cover of SportsMania after winning the FedEx Cup.
I was so proud of him for breaking barriers in a white dominated sport.
All of his trophies were lined up perfectly, his beautiful show room was courtesy of his mom’s skills. This had Tracey Matthews all over it.
“I won’t mess up your precious books. I don’t want to hear your mouth about it, Dj, you won’t stop complaining once you get started.
How was your day?” I closed my eyes at the feel of him making love to my feet.
A moan wanted to slip through, but it was those that got us in trouble in the first place.
“It was cool, I went over my parents’ house and chilled with them for a bit. I almost threw up the lining of my stomach once I realized they just got done having sex. That shit is gross, I didn’t need to know that.”
“At least you know they are still in love, I always admired the relationship you all have with your parents. You know my parents are nothing like yours.” My parents divorced when I came out, my dad wouldn’t accept me, while my mother did.
I blamed myself for a few years for tearing them apart but I quickly realized it wasn’t my fault.
“Nah, I don’t need to see the after-sex glow on my damn daddy. Enough about them, though, let’s talk about this bucket list you have. Can I see it again? I need to add a few things to it.” My eyes popped open with that request. I swore once he wouldn’t talk about it last night, it was a done deal.
I tried to pull my foot from his grasp, but he held on tighter. My heart was beating out of control, fishing my phone out of my hoodie pocket, I unlocked it and handed it to him. The note was open because I was obsessing over it before he came back home.
Donavan started smirking at some of the things on the list, his thumbs were moving quickly, adding whatever he wanted to it. I tried to look at the book in my hand, “Homies, Lovers & Friends” by Jahquel J., but my anxiety wouldn’t keep my hands steady.
After an excruciating five minutes that felt like fifty years, he finally handed the phone back over to me.
The Friends 2 Lovers Bucket List
(Our Journey To Love )
1. Go on a romantic date
2. Ivory’s one nonnegotiable request
3. Have sex in a public place
4. Hot air-balloon ride
5. Horse back riding
6. Donavan’s one nonnegotiable request
7. Role play as strangers
8. Sex inside a body of water
9. FaceTime sex
10. Blow job while you’re driving
11. Dancing in the rain
12. Spanking
13. Read-n-Chill
*Rules: be honest, don’t overthink, and communicate*
“The friends to lovers bucket list, huh?” He wants us to be lovers?
Donavan didn’t let his gaze waver once, he dared me to ask the question burning the tip of my tongue.
“You want to be lovers?” I whispered.
“I want to be your everything, Ivory, just like you are mine. We’re already best friends, what’s wrong with adding lovers to our resume.
You want to explore what we could be sexually, but for me, it would be more.
You’re not just a piece of meat to me, you are every good moment and sweet word of these romance books in here.
If you want me to do this, I gotta put my cards on the table.
I know we can be good together, I’ve always known.
All you have to do is let me convince you…
we can get through this list with way more than a few good orgasms. We might be able to have forever. ”
donavan
She didn’t say anything yet, but she didn’t need to, I could read every emotion on her face. Ivory had never been a risk taker, that was my role in our friendship. I dared her to do so many things she was afraid to.
“What if I don’t feel the same way you do by the end of this? I can’t lose you as my best friend, Donny. I need you in my life.” She was very valid to ask that question, because what if she didn’t?
“Honestly, I have always felt big feelings for you. Our entire friendship, I couldn’t turn them off, no matter how hard I tried. But, you never felt the same way and it changed nothing about us. We are still two peas in a pod, so what will the difference be once it’s all said and done?”
She nodded, “I guess you are right, I’m just nervous. I don’t want us to hurt each other. How can we promise to not do that?” I grabbed her waist and sat her in my lap.
“If at any time, we don’t want to do this, we communicate that to each other. The rules should keep everything on the table at all times. So, what do you say? You wanna try this lovers and friends thing?” I placed a gentle kiss to her neck, her pulse racing beneath my lips.
“Let’s do it.”