Chapter 18 Antonia
Antonia
For an hour and a half, cancer didn’t exist. In that time span, we cheered, ate popcorn, and shimmied to music. We hooted, hollered, and stomped our feet each time the Timberwolves made a basket.
Each shot Cutter took, we held our breath.
On the drive over, Cutter told Brendan he wanted to score twenty-five today, so Brendan kept his stats. Every made “bucket,” Miri checked to see where her son was.
When Cutter hit his goal, Miri stood and clapped for her son. I had no idea what the significance of the points meant, but I was proud of Cutter for creating a goal and achieving it.
At the end of the third quarter, the game was tied. In the fourth, Cutter went off, according to Brendan. I pretended to understand what he meant, but honestly I had no clue. I knew Cutter was good at his sports—basketball and baseball—but that was it.
During the game, I looked over at Brendan and watched him as his eyes followed the flow of the game.
He was like the proud uncle he didn’t know he was about to be.
I would tell him later, after everyone had gone to bed.
Maybe we’d sit on the porch and light the propane lantern for some heat.
Maybe he’d make things easy and suggest we move in together.
I would need his help in telling the kids they’d be moving before school started in the fall.
That wasn’t going to be an easy or comfortable conversation, and I expected Cutter to object, and rightly so.
Maybe this was the time for Brendan and me to buy a house and take our relationship to the next step.
We’d raise the kids together and finally give Cutter and Nova the father figure they’d missed out on.
No one ever wanted to switch high schools in the middle of their four years. Lord knew I wouldn’t have wanted to if something had happened to my parents.
At the final buzzer, the teammates hugged and then shook hands with the other team.
“How come they don’t storm the court like I’ve seen on TV?” I asked Brendan.
“That’s mostly college and usually when the school has beaten their rival, a highly ranked team, or they’ve won a championship.”
I nodded in understanding.
“That reminds me,” Miri said as she touched my arm. “The basketball championship will be the first weekend of March.”
I pulled my phone out and grimaced when I saw that Brendan and I were supposed to be in Aruba. I added the dates and put my phone away.
“We’re in Aruba that weekend,” he said without missing a beat.
“We’ll have to postpone,” I said under my breath.
This wasn’t the place to have this conversation, especially with Miri sitting in front of us.
The last thing she needed was for her impending death or her children to feel like a burden on me.
They weren’t. I didn’t care if I had a wedding date booked; I’d cancel it at this point.
Brendan stood and walked down the bleachers until he was on the court. I watched him throw our garbage away and focus his attention on Nova. I was willing to bet that if he had his car there, he would’ve left.
“I can find someone else,” Miri said quietly. “If taking the kids is too much.”
I blanched at her words and mentally cursed Brendan out for having the gall to bring up that trip in front of her.
“Miri, I may have been seventeen when I made that promise, but I meant it wholeheartedly. Your babies are my babies, and it’d be a cold day in hell before I allowed anyone to raise them but me.” I pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled.
“Ignore Brendan. He doesn’t understand our friendship because he doesn’t have one like ours. He wasn’t there from the beginning of us or even Cutter. He’s new to this and doesn’t have anyone he’d drop everything for.”
“Not even you?”
Sadly, I shook my head. “Sometimes I wonder, but he means well, and we’ll figure it out. Never know, maybe the kids will have a much-needed vacation.”
She smiled at that, and so did I. The kids would need some peace after all of this, and Aruba sounded amazing for them. I ran my fingers through her hair and prayed she wouldn’t lose it all before the end.
“Cutter!” Nova yelled her brother’s name as he came out of the locker room. She launched herself into his arms, and he carried her to the rim so she could hang from it.
“He’s a good brother,” I said to Miri as we sat there.
“He’s the best son a mother could ask for.”
“On Monday, we need to sit down and finalize some things. Okay?”
Miri nodded but never took her eyes off her kids. Couldn’t say I blamed her; they were pretty fantastic.
We finally stood and met Cutter on the court. He immediately went to his mom and hugged her. I took my phone out and videoed the moment. He’d want it later.
And so would I.
Weston came out of the locker room. I smiled and expected him to come toward us, since I had invited him over for dinner. When he didn’t, I called out his name and walked toward him.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you. What’s up?”
“Uh . . .” I glanced over my shoulder at our group and frowned before turning back to him. “I wanted to remind you about dinner.”
“Dinner?”
I nodded slowly. “This morning, I invited you to dinner with us.” And then I remembered I hadn’t, but maybe I’d thought about it. “Actually, it wasn’t dinner, but you were going to come over and fill me in on the travel stuff. I think we’re getting sandwiches. What can I get you?”
Weston looked off into the distance and then at me. “Maybe some other time.” He turned away before I could form any type of rebuttal.
I stood there for a moment, wondering about his very visible shift in disposition. He’d acted like we weren’t friends, even though he said he would be one.
Miri, Brendan, and the kids joined me, and we walked out of the gym.
“What’s for dinner?” Nova asked while still being carried by Cutter.
“I was thinking subs from the deli,” I said as we reached Miri’s SUV. Everyone piled in, with me in the driver’s seat.
“Actually, I was thinking of cooking tonight,” Miri said as I closed the door.
“If you’re up for it,” I said, driving through the parking lot. We passed a row of vehicles, one of which was Weston’s. For some reason, I strained to see if he was standing there or sitting behind the steering wheel.
He wasn’t.
For some reason, I was a little put off by the cold shoulder. I thought he was someone I would be able to count on. If the boys had lost, I could understand, but they’d won, and it looked like they’d played well. But what did I know?
After we finished a dinner of roasted chicken, potatoes, and vegetables, along with some homemade dinner rolls, Miri, Brendan, and I sat in the living room. Nova went to Mara’s for a sleepover, and Cutter was upstairs, probably making Saturday night plans with his friends and Eleni.
“Dinner was amazing,” I said as I handed Miri the glass of wine she wasn’t supposed to have.
She wanted one, and there was no way I’d ever tell her no.
If her treatment stood a chance at extending her life, I’d be all for it, but it didn’t.
At best, she had months, and that was only if every nasty cluster responded to treatment.
“It felt good to cook and not dwell,” Miri said as she took a sip. “I don’t want to dwell.”
“That’s good because I told Samira you’d host book club soon.”
Miri smiled and laughed. “Book club where very little reading takes place.”
“Then why do you call it ‘book club’?” Brendan asked. “Why not call it what it is?”
“Well,” Miri said as she put her glass on the coffee table. I watched her every move for any sign that she might be tired or in pain. The doctor had her on a boatload of painkillers, and she could lose some of her functions, but she hadn’t as of yet. Still, I waited.
“It started out as a book club. We used to read a book a week and talk about it, but then it became more. Like when Vera’s husband asked for a divorce.
She needed someone to talk to, so she talked to us.
” Miri shrugged. “We still pick a book and read. We just allow ourselves longer than a week on most.”
“Kind of like when you go golfing,” I said to Brendan. “It’s not like you golf and then come back. You stay around, shoot the shit with your buddies, get drunk, and miss your flight.”
Brendan smirked. “Touché.”
Miri yawned, and I looked at the time. It was close to eight. “Are you tired?”
She nodded. “I think I’m going to go up and take a bath, and then crawl into bed with the book.” Miri winked at Brendan as she stood.
He chuckled.
I went upstairs to make sure Miri was okay and checked on Cutter. He was in his room, on the phone with Eleni. His door was ajar. I knocked and waited for him to tell me to come in.
“Hey, I just wanted to see what your plans are this evening.”
“A bunch of us are going to Malik’s to hang out.”
“Are his parents home?” I already sounded like a mother and not a cool aunt.
Cutter rolled his eyes. “Yes. His house and parents’ cell phone numbers are on the refrigerator.”
“Great. Do you need me to give you a ride?”
He shook his head. “Jayden is picking me up, and yes, before you ask, Mom lets me ride with Jayden, and he has a graduated driver’s license.”
I opened my mouth to ask about Jayden’s number, but Cutter beat me to it. “His number is on the refrigerator as well.”
“Wow, this was easy. Let me know when you’re leaving. I’ll be downstairs. Your mom is taking a bath, and then she’s going to bed.”
“Thanks, Toni.”
“You’re welcome.”
As I walked back downstairs, I wondered when Miri and I would sit the kids down and talk about the future.
I would need to have some kind of answer for Cutter, mostly, about our future.
The thing was, I had no idea what was going to be right.
My job was in Boston, and while I was in Grove Hill now, I couldn’t stay forever.
At some point, Brendan’s dad would want me back in the office.