37. Pretty Boy
THIRTY-SEVEN
PRETTY BOY
Cade
Abbott wasn’t responding to my texts asking if I could come up and talk with Halle, and I’m starting to feel myself growing impatient, so I decide I’m just going to head up there. He probably hasn’t even seen them, I’m pretty sure we all have the operation group chat muted, for obvious reasons.
When I get to the top step, Abbott pops out of Halle’s room. “Sorry man, she’s not in there,” he says. What does he mean she’s not in there? Where else could she be? He must see my confusion, because then he says, “Get Mel, the three of us need to talk.”
We convene in Abbott’s room and by the time he finishes telling us what all transpired between him and Halle, it’s been about twenty minutes since she left and I’m starting to get worried.
“Did she say where she was going? How did she even leave? I was hanging around on the stairs the whole time and the only time the door opened was when you walked out.” My words come out harsher than I mean for them to. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out so aggressive, Abbott. I just—” I can’t find the words.
“It’s okay, I’d be reacting the same way if I were in your shoes.” He gives me a pat on the shoulder and I’m reminded how well Abbott responds under pressure. “She went out her bedroom window, it’s something she’s done ever since she figured out the window opens all the way in high school. Usually she sits up on the roof for a little bit, but I checked after a few minutes and she wasn’t there. She didn’t say where she’s going, but she won’t be gone forever. She just needs some time and space to process.”
“Oh my gosh. What have I done?” Mel says, sitting on the edge of Abbott’s bed and putting her head in her hands. “I’m so sorry. Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have been texting you guys in the group. And I knew I should’ve told you all about the internship when I first found out. And of course, now it’s all blowing up. Not just in my face, but in everyone’s.” Mel gets up and starts pacing around, her words getting faster the longer she talks. “And now, Halle’s missing and I’m throwing my own pity party in my boyfriend’s room in front of him and his best friend instead of trying to talk to Halle or going out to find her.”
Abbott stops Mel in her tracks and places his hands on her shoulders. “Babe, just breathe. It’s not your fault. We all had a part in it. But you know Halle, you know this is how she deals with stuff. She just needs some time to think.”
I can’t help but admire them in this moment. Abbott is so calm while Mel’s a blubbering mess. Not to get ahead of myself, but this is what I imagine ‘for better or for worse’ looks like. The affection in his eyes is what I imagine—or at least hope —I look like when I look at Halle. Mel sits there, allowing him to comfort her. Letting her walls crumble in front of him and Abbott doesn’t hesitate to pick the pieces up.
Mel stares up at him, taking in each word, her eyes welling with tears. Her head drops and her chest moves up and down for the first time in minutes, finally breathing after her rushed and tear-stricken rambling. “I know, I’m just scared. I don’t want to lose her all because I was too scared to tell her things.” She looks down to her feet before continuing. “And I really didn’t think she would get so upset by this. I mean, we have our own operation, but that one’s mostly just for jokes, we haven’t ever really taken it seriously. Maybe that’s why she’s upset, because I was scheming with a guy more than with my best friend. It wasn’t on her terms.”
They had their own operation? Not important now, so I tuck that away to investigate later.
“Mel, c’mon, it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.” Abbott tries comforting her, but I think he’s having a hard time believing his own words.
“How do you know? She’s never been this upset over anything. Not even when she found out about us.” Fresh tears streak down her face. “Ab, I think this is pushing her over the edge. What if she doesn’t forgive me?” she whispers. “Cade,” she turns to me, “I’m sorry. I never would have gotten involved if I thought it would ruin your chances and blow up like this. I should’ve known. I’m so sorry. God, I can’t believe I ruined another Thanksgiving.”
Abbott squeezes her tighter to his chest and absorbs her sobs.
“Mel, this isn’t on you. This is more my fault than anyone else. I’m the one who brought you in, asked you to help. You were just trying to be a good friend to both of us.” I carefully think over my next words. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done to help me. And you didn’t ruin Thanksgiving, this is just a little bump in the road. We’ll get over it, and it’ll be like this never happened.” I walk over to her and Abbott and place a brotherly kiss on her head. “I’m gonna find her and I’ll fix it. It’ll be okay.”
Abbott nods at me in approval, at least I helped someone feel a little better about this whole situation.
She picks her head back up and looks at me and Abbott. “I’m so scared to go to California. To move away from you guys. But this is my dream, I’ve worked so hard for it but I don’t want to leave you.”
A thought hits me and I excuse myself and let them continue to process things alone. I leave Abbott’s room, rush down the stairs and out to my car. I go to the only place I can think of.
The drive feels way longer than usual and I’m debating whether I should risk it and go 80-miles-per-hour in a residential, but decide against it.
I finally pull into the parking lot and get out of the car. I walk the familiar path around the pond and I see her. She’s sitting right in the middle of our old gazebo.
I realize my breathing is becoming more labored and I’m feeling nervous. She’s probably so upset that we’ve been doing this for years. That I had a whole team—including her brother and her best friend. Shaking my head, I finally make my way up to the gazebo. The floorboards are old and rickety, each step shakier than the last. I let out a deep breath and since it’s November, I can see my breath.
Halle jumps as I step on a creaky board.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just checking on you. It’s cold and you’ve been out here for a while.”
“I just needed some time to myself.” I look down and see she’s wearing my hoodie, the one I said looked better on her than me all those months ago. “Cade, please. I need some space right now.”
“Halle, I’m not going to leave you out here. If you’re out here, I’m out here.” I take a seat next to her, in our spot. Our knees touch. I feel my heartbeat quicken and I’m begging it to slow down and act normal. But I can’t. Nothing about me has ever been ‘normal’ when it came to Halle.
“Cade, I really can’t do this. Please.” She’s begging me, and I want to give her whatever she wants, but I’m selfish and need to be here with her.
“Valentine, I can’t do that. I need to know that you’re okay.” I stop and almost don’t finish the thought, but because I can’t help myself, I let it out in a whisper. “That we’re okay.”
She turns her head to look at me, and I can tell she’s been crying, but she dried her tears before I showed up. All that’s left is hurt.
“How can you expect us to be okay if we’ve never actually talked ? I feel like I don’t know you past a working relationship. You do the music, I do the merch, and that’s it. How can I trust that anything you’ve said has been you and not a script that Mel wrote?” Her words are just as bitter as I expected.
I feel the pang in my heart as the gravity of what she said hits me. “Hal, you know that’s not true. I know you . And you know me. I’ve told you things this year that I haven’t told anyone else, even Abbott. You’re everything I could’ve ever dreamed of because you’re all I’ve ever dreamed about. From beginning to end, it’s you. It’s always been you for me. I’ve never felt even a fraction of the way I feel for you about someone else.” I’m panicking now and trying to think of all the things I’ve been bottling up my whole life when it comes to her.
I’m scrambling, trying to come up with all of the truths that I’ve hidden from her, begging them to come to the surface. “I’m sorry that it’s taken me all these years to finally tell you the whole truth. I promise to tell you everything, answer any question you may have, be upfront with things so you don’t have to ask. I don’t want to hold anything back, I want you to know it all.” My chest still feels heavy, but with every word of admission it gets a little lighter.
“If you’ve always felt this way, why hadn’t you ever said anything until this year? Why’d you always have a girlfriend? Why would you only go out with girls who were the complete opposites of me? Why are you just telling me all this now? Cade, you’re saying a lot of things, but none of it makes sense.” She fires question after question, but I know that she’s just trying to piece everything together.
“I never said anything because you’re my best friend’s little sister!”
She looks down at her lap, like she’s still just my best friend’s little sister.
“I didn’t want you to think that you were just an easy option. That I only had feelings for you because you were there. I had—I have feelings for you because of the person you are. And I know how you felt about Abbott and Mel dating back in high school. So, obviously, I thought it wouldn’t be any different for us. And, as stupid as it sounds, I wanted you in my life any way I could get you, so I settled for just friends.” I take a second to catch my breath. “As for the girlfriends, you know no one ever lasted more than a couple months. The talk we had after Brooke? I couldn’t believe you noticed. That was the first time I thought that maybe you could feel the same, but I chalked it up to you thinking of me as a brother, or at most as your guy best friend. Valentine?—”
“I just, I don’t get it.” She cuts me off.
I sigh to buy myself time to gather my thoughts and form coherent sentences. “All the random girlfriends were just a distraction, I was trying to get my mind off of you. I know you like the back of my hand.” I take her hands into my own, her fingers are so cold. God, how long have we been out here? “I don’t know how else to say it. Halle, I’m in love with you and I have been for a while. You’ve occupied my every thought over the past fifteen years. You’ve become my best friend, my closest confidante, and my favorite person…” I finish my series of monologues and I’m unsure of what else I can say.
“You what?” Her expression changes from that of hurt to confusion to shock like a flash of lightning. Her hands relax a tad in mine.
It takes a second for me to know what she’s asking about, but I realize that I just told her I’m in love with her and have been for a long time.
“I’m in love with you, Hal. You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since the day we first met. I didn’t know what to do about it, so, in high school I finally decided to recruit Mel and Abbott to help me figure out a way to get you to go out with me. Your best friend and your brother—the two people who knew you best. So, please, don’t be mad at them. This… This is all on me.”
I’m stammering, the cold is getting to me. It’s hard for my lips to form the words but I’m doing my best to say everything, to tell her everything. Right when I think she’s going to break it off and tell me it’s over, she interlocks our fingers. I look down at our hands and back up to her eyes.
“It’s only ever been you. There’s never been any other option. Cade, you’re it for me.” She’s smiling now and my face mirrors hers. “I’m sorry. I’m being childish about this. I just can’t imagine my life without you, any of you. Sorry for running away, I’m working on how to deal with my emotions.”
I chuckle. “From now on, we’re a team. No more secrets. When you’re going through something, I’ll be right there with you. You’re not alone in it, Valentine.”
She reaches a hand up into my curls and slowly pulls me in. My lips meet hers and all is right in the world again. My worries washed away just as fast as they came.
“Speaking of no more secrets… I have to confess something.”
I quirk an eyebrow at her, signaling to her my intrigue.
“Um, I may or may not have my own operation with Mel. That started in high school. And may or may not have recruited Ruby to it too.” She bites her lip, holding in a giggle.
I gasp and bring my hand up to my chest. “Halle Cooper. Do you mean to tell me that you have been lying to me this whole time?”
“No, I mean, not really. Um, I—” She stuffs her face in her hands, then composes herself and sits up, looking into my eyes. “Actually, yeah. I guess I was. So, that’s also a reason I know I definitely can’t stay mad at you for operation-ing behind my back. Even?” A peace offering.
“Oh, Valentine. We’ll never be even.” I give her a quick peck. “My heart’s always been yours.”
“And, another confession.” She states, pulling me closer.
“Oh?”
“I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, Rockstar. This heart of mine belongs to you.”
I’m saving this moment in my memories for the rest of time. Halle Cooper’s love confession. To me. Cade Walsh. There was a time that the closest I ever thought I’d come to this was only in my dreams. I’m on cloud nine with this admission, but I’m brought back down when Halle stands up.
“C’mon. It’s cold out here and I’m getting hungry again.” She helps pull me up. “And I have some more amends to make,” she says, alluding to Mel and Abbott. She’s likely going to talk to her parents too, let them know why she just up and left during Thanksgiving dinner.
“Let’s get you inside before you catch something. I think your parents would give me some negative points if I kept you out here long enough to get sick.”
I wrap an arm around my girl and think about what a whirlwind of a day it’s been. Started off thinking it would be our best Thanksgiving at the Coopers’ yet, but then it turned into possibly the worst, and now it’s looking up again.