14. Auden
Idon’t know where Storm went, but no one seems bothered that he left. I, on the other hand, want to know why he didn’t say bye. I’m shocked by my sudden worry about him. He doesn’t seem like the type to up and leave without informing anyone…or maybe he is? We don’t know each other well enough that I have to know his every whereabout. But I care about him, shockingly, I care about a man who was supposed to be nothing but a one-night stand.
“Do your parents know you’re here?” Rick asks, his mouth full of waffles.
“They weren’t too keen on me coming here, but I just wanted to know. Curiosity took over once I found out where Frank was,” I reply, feeling my phone vibrate. I’ve had it on the table in case the garage calls again to inform me of a loaner car they can lend me.
Their call earlier was to inform me that there isn’t anything they can do to fix my car. I knew it was a shitbox when I bought it, I just didn’t know it was on its last legs. As soon as I get home and impress the people at the office, landing a permanent position, then I’m buying a reliable car.
I look at my phone and see it’s Storm.
STORM: Sorry I left, something came up. Can I see you later?
I don’t reply and continue eating, wondering what the plan is for today. But I also want to see Storm right now. I think Frank caught us kissing and it wasn’t what I made up, but from the position we were at, it could’ve looked like anything.
“I’d like to show you our land today,” Frank says. “If you’re free?”
I sip my coffee. “I am, I just have to be at the garage by two. Something about a loaner car they might have for me.”
“We have a pond with frogs in it in the backyard,” Johnson mentions, forking his fruits.
I smile because Johnson doesn’t say much to me. He’s quiet. Reserved. He’s nothing like Lloyd. But I like that about him. Johnson and I will get along just fine. “Oh, I’d like to see that.”
My phone vibrates again and it’s Storm, sending nothing but question marks.
ME: We’re having breakfast!
STORM: I want to see you.
STORM: Come by the bar.
STORM: I start at 4.
ME: Why’d you leave?
STORM: Doesn’t matter.
STORM: I’ll see you later?
STORM: Park at the back by my Jeep, we’ll leave together after my shift.
ME: Maybe ??
But he doesn’t respond.
Of course, I’m going to see him later. The way we go at it, I’ll be worn out before the week’s up.
***
“You have so much land.”
I look around at the beauty before me as the entire family shows me the property. There’s a pond at the back of the property, it isn’t that big. Frank dug it up himself for Lloyd and Johnson when they were much younger. A large willow tree spans the entire left side of the property, hanging over much of the bright green grass. It sure is relaxing out here. It’s definitely a place I can come to and unwind for a few days. “Such a change from our little backyard in New Jersey.”
“You must be pretty comfortable at home to be able to move to New York City.” Maddison chuckles, nodding her head at the land. “We don’t get the luxury of moving. We live and die in the same house we grew up in half the time.”
“My dad’s a cop, and things have always been…interesting because of that.” I nod, that sickening phone call I received three years ago flashes through my head, causing my heart to hammer wildly. I hate thinking about it. I hate the mention of how I almost lost him. My cheeks are burning up, but I clear my throat and look up at the sky. All my life I worried about my dad’s safety, and when I wasn’t worrying about him, I was wondering how long my mom’s business trip would be this time. Things were good at home, but they weren’t the greatest. “W-we’re pretty comfortable.”
Stevie swats a fly away. “Do you still live with them?”
“I moved out and lived in the dorms throughout university, then got a place with my ex a year before I graduated. But things with him didn’t work out and the place was in his name.” I lick my lips and the corner of my mouth quirks up just like Frank’s does. “So I moved back in with them temporarily.”
Heath chases after their dog, heading to the tall grass in the distance. “Heath! Not too far,” Rick yells out.
Frank nods his head at the willow tree. “I want to show you something.”
No one follows us as we make our way to the tree, I wonder why. Maybe it’s something he’s been wanting to show me for some time.
He has a grin on his face that’s just like mine. It’s crazy how genetics work. All my life all I saw were the people that raised me. They mean the world to me, but my dad’s blonde with brown eyes, and my mom’s hair is jet black, her eyes are brown, and she’s Asian. It felt awkward being looked at differently all my life. People would tease me at school because I didn’t have a mom who looked like me or a dad who acted like me. I’m different. Even at family gatherings I felt left out. Now that I found my birth father, my life makes sense—I make sense.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a willow tree before.”
I let my hand move through the branches and smile. It sure is beautiful here and tranquil. It’s so quiet. Parts of me miss the rowdiness back home.
“Right here is where your mother told me she loved me for the first time. And in this exact spot is where I told her I wanted to spend my life with her, we were sixteen at the time, so I had no idea what forever meant.” He smiles. “She also told me she was pregnant with you here.” He points to the tree with B+F 4ever scratched into it. “I engraved our initials on that day.” He looks up at the branches as the sun pokes through them like leopard spots. “I also spread her ashes here when she passed.”
I touch the letters on the tree, smiling while I trace the B. “What was her name?”
“Bobbie.”
Bobbie and Frank made me. Holding so many memories under this tree. Now, all I need is a picture so I can see her face. See the beauty I possess that belongs to her. But I don’t think I’m ready yet.
My hands drop to my side and I look up at the large tree. “You’ve lived here all your life?”
“I have,” he responds. “My parents owned this house. After some time, when I introduced them to Stevie and Maddison, they started accepting me again. It was hard to see their only son lose not only his fiancée at seventeen but his daughter, too. It took them four years to finally forgive me. And as time passed, they gave the house to me when Stevie and I got married.”
I want to say I understand his parents, but that isn’t the case. I don’t think my parents would disown me if Sean and I got pregnant as teens, but I sure as shit know my life would be so different now if I had. “I-it is a beautiful home.” I look back at the house, taking a breath. “What was she like? My birth mother?”
“She was a firecracker.” He laughs. “Always so full of life. She said she’d never die in this town. That as soon as we turned eighteen, we’d drive to California and she’d become an actress. One more year. That’s all we were waiting for. But she didn’t make it to our road trip.”
Frank’s face falls and sadness consumes his expression. I can’t imagine losing someone like that. I’ve never been to a funeral before—well, one that I remember. All my grandparents died before I was born, and the one that didn’t, passed away when I was six years old. I don’t remember a lick of the funeral. But losing someone you love who promised you forever must be tougher than losing a grandmother you barely knew.
I’m dreading the answer, but I have to know. “What happened in the delivery room?”
“She hemorrhaged and they just couldn’t stop the bleeding.” He sighs. “It was you or her. But I didn’t even have the time to choose before she died.”
I shake my head, words lodged in my throat. How would anyone be able to even make such a choice?
“I’ll find my photo album…I need to check the attic and we’ll continue this tomorrow,” he stops and looks down at his watch. “It’s almost two.”
“Oh, right.” I have an appointment with the mechanic at two to discuss the issue with what the heck we’re going to do with my car.
We start walking back, joining the others. “Isn’t the willow tree something out of a fairy tale?” Maddison raves.
I look back at Frank. “It is really beautiful.”
“It’s almost two, I’m going to drop Auden off at Gerri’s,” Frank says to Stevie.
I shake my head. “No, you don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not a bother,” Frank says, smiling. “Just let me get the keys.”
“And her purse,” Stevie adds. Frank chuckles, jogging into the house to grab everything.
I say my goodbyes to everyone, knowing I’m probably going to see them soon. This routine is going to be hard to let go of come Friday. They’ve opened their arms and welcomed me as if I’ve been here for the past twenty-four years. They’re my new family. My second home. How do I explain to my dad that meeting my birth father was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made?
Frank and I don’t say much on the drive over. It’s somehow not as awkward as I expected, there are so many damn questions I need answers to. I just don’t know how to get them out.
“Here we are,” Frank finally says after I finish telling him about my parents.
“Thank you. You really didn’t have to drive me,” I say. The drive was only a few minutes, it’s not like it made a difference, but I appreciate the gesture.
“I’ll see you again tomorrow?”
“The day after. Stacy and Gerri have a lunch at the BnB they invited me to. I’ll see you soon, though,” I reply, getting out of the car and waving.
It’s surreal watching someone who looks so much like me drive off. I can’t wait to hear all about my birth mother and see what she looks like. I apparently have her hair. This week will be good for me. I know it.
Gerri is at the front desk, typing things out on the computer with his index finger, one letter at a time. It’s like my dad when he first got a tablet. Funniest three days of my life trying to explain to him how to use it.
I clear my throat when I walk in and Gerri looks up from the computer and smiles.
“Hiya,” he says, ruffling through a few pages in front of him. “Charlotte Summers, right?”
“I go by Auden, but yes.” I nod. “What’s the deal? Lay it to me straight. Do you have a loaner for me?”
Gerri clears his throat. “I got a loaner I can lend you for your stay.”
It’s not going to do me any good when I have to leave, but at least I have some wheels for my stay.
“Won’t charge you for it, so long as you bring it back with a full tank of gas,” he adds.
“Okay,” I say, looking at the ancient BMW I drove here in. “You can keep the car for spare parts and whatnot. I don’t plan on getting it towed back to New Jersey.”
“For real?” he asks.
I guess high-end cars don’t come through this town often.
“Yes. I really don’t want it.”
“Why thank you,” he says excitedly and takes a set of keys off a hook behind him.
“I’ll find some way to repay you—” he stops and smiles. “Keep the loaner.”
“Oh, no, no.”
“I won’t take no for an answer.”
His smile makes me chuckle, that beard blowing in the slight breeze from the open garage door. He dangles the keys in front of me and I feel bad for cursing this town so much. If I’d known how generous and thoughtful these people are, I would have come here weeks before I planned on leaving.
“Thank you, Gerri.”
“Not a problem, my dear,” he says, handing me the keys. “She gives you any trouble, you let me know.” He taps the counter. “I’ll give her a run-through before your drive home, too.”
I’m so grateful for meeting these people. “That’s very nice of you.”
He leads me to the loaner car. A dark blue two-seater with rust at the bottom of the doors and a crack in the windshield. It’s no prize but it’ll work. It’s not my forever car since I won’t need a car to get around in New York City. I’ll walk or I’ll take the subway.
I jumped at the thought of moving to New York City without a permanent position. Not my smartest move since I put a lot of my savings on the deposit for the apartment, but if Sean is confident the position will be mine after probation is up, then I believe him. I wish I had the position before getting the apartment. I just needed some form of stability before I left on this trip
Only a few more days in this town until the next adventure in my life begins. And I can’t freaking wait.