Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
LEO
“Do you want to have a look around?” Leo asked after following me into his hotel room. I took in my surroundings; it looked like your typical hotel room.
“Why?”
Leo shrugged out of his jacket, “To make sure you feel safe shagging in a stranger’s hotel room.”
I smiled, toeing off my shoes as I shook my head, “I’m free to leave whenever?”
He nodded, “Whenever.”
“Cool,” I stood tall, nerves swarming in my stomach as I drank him in, “…Can you kiss me again?”
* * *
I was leaning against my bike, parked outside of Jacqueline’s building. My helmet was in my hands, turning it over and over.
Where did one start with a conversation like this?
I had no idea how to have one of these discussions. My experience was quite limited. The last serious relationship I was in was years ago, and after he dropped the L word way before I was ready, I hadn’t sought a serious relationship again.
But Jacqueline’s moment at work today made me realize…I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. She had to have known where I stood. If she didn’t, perhaps she would understand when I communicated as such.
Jacqueline relied on direct, unmistakable communication. Reading between the lines wasn’t her forte, so if I wanted her to understand everything I was feeling, I needed to be the one to tell her.
And whatever her response to that was…I would have to deal with it.
I hoped, though, that I wasn’t alone in this. That it wasn’t just me. That she felt for me what I have been feeling for her for a while now.
A car rumbled next to me, parking before the ignition got cut off.
Turning to see Jacqueline step out of the vehicle, my chest expanded and my heart started to kick up.
Would this be the last time I see her after work ?
Jacqueline brushed loose strands of hair behind her ears, her bun keeping the rest off of her neck. She looked nervous as she approached me, her steps tentative as she clutched the strap of her bag.
“…Hi,” she spoke first.
“Hi,” I replied. I reached out to play with the strap of her bag, like I did weeks ago, “How are you doing?”
She lifted a shoulder, “I’m… I don’t know. I just want to start apologizing again.”
When Jacqueline tucked both of her lips between her teeth, I lifted my hand so my index finger pressed on her bottom one, releasing it.
“Don’t,” I shook my head, “Don’t apologize, Jacqueline.”
Jacqueline apologized profusely the first time she kissed me. Anxiety took over, and what I thought was pure rejection ended up just being her struggling with her own emotions. Her attraction for me.
Right now, standing outside of her building, I was hoping that her need to keep apologizing was linked to a similar struggle within her. If Jacqueline was this anxious to admit something as simple as physical attraction, I assumed that she would struggle just as much—if not more—when it came to real, big feelings.
“Want to head up?” I tipped my head toward the front of the building.
“Yes, let’s go.” She lifted her hand and laced our fingers together, leading me in.
We were silent on the walk to her flat, but she kept our fingers laced the entire time. We looked like a real couple; like two people who were just getting off of work and getting ready for a night of Netflix and Chill . Most nights, we were.
Except today, there was a very high chance that I was about to ruin this dynamic.
Shutting the door behind us and flipping the lock, I watched Jacqueline slip off her sneakers.
Panic started swelling in my chest.
My fingers itched, naturally reaching toward her, before I balled them into fists at my side. I set my helmet near my bag in the entryway, and she gave me a curious look. Her dark eyes scanned my body, the pinch in her brow an indicator of some puzzle she was trying to piece together about me.
“Are you okay?” Jacqueline asked, with her delicious frown in place. Her eyes were searching mine, stepping closer.
I exhaled a nervous breath, before shaking my head once.
She tilted her head as she shrugged out of her jacket, hanging it up. My eyes dropped to her blouse, and her jeans which were my favorite pair because of how well they hugged her arse.
“You seem…tense.” Jacqueline unbuttoned another button on her blouse, revealing more of her smooth skin. My eyes homed in on her movements, and she hesitated.
I saw the moment something clicked for her, her eyebrows twitching up the slightest bit, “Do you…want me, right now?”
“Yes.” I always wanted Jacqueline. That would always be the case. It was an answer as mindless as breathing.
Jacqueline nodded, “…Do you want to talk first, or after?”
I thought about her question this time, wondering which was best. Part of me insisted that we speak first, knowing deep down that if she didn’t reciprocate what I was about to admit tonight, there was a good chance there wouldn’t be an after.
There would just be an end.
…I wished I was a better man.
“After.” I decided.
She nodded, continuing to unbutton her blouse. Not just to get comfortable, but to remove it entirely.
“Do you want me, Leo?” Jacqueline whispered her question. The tension was thick. My heart was sure to race out of my ribs at any moment.
“Fiercely.” I shrugged out of my leather jacket, dropping it next to my helmet.
“…Do you want to play with me?” I could tell that was very much what she wanted. She was a woman with layers. While she enjoyed simple missionary and was able to get off multiple times with what others deemed as vanilla sex, she also enjoyed playing.
This might be the last time I could play with Jacqueline Williams.
“Yes.” I was only capable of one-word responses, apparently.
Jacqueline’s lips twitched up in a smile before she dropped it just as quickly. Her chest was heaving as she shrugged out of her blouse. Her bra was simple today, a nude shade that had no lace. No front clasp. It was a bra made for function, and yet, my throat went dry at the sight of it.
I was officially wrecked for this woman.
Jacqueline then bent down to shrug out of her jeans, delicately pulling her smooth legs out of the material, and setting it aside.
Her panties were white cotton.
Simple. Functional.
I wanted to bite them off of her.
Without warning, Jacqueline turned on her heel and bolted.
I chuckled, grabbing the back collar of my shirt to pull it over my head before I marched after her. I didn’t run this time. I didn’t want to rush this.
I turned down her short hallway, grinning when I saw her bedroom door close. The light turned off underneath the door, and I allowed my footsteps to heavily fall in my approach. I wanted her to know I was coming.
I turned the handle, slowly pushing it open.
“Jacqueline?” I sang her name as I closed the door behind me, locking it.
I held still, waiting to hear where she was. Under her bed? In her closet? Behind the drapes? The ensuite bathroom?
I heard a shift against the carpet, and my head turned toward the walk-in closet.
“Jacqueline,” I hummed her name as I marched toward her, slowly pushing open the closet door. I left the light off, more than willing to play this game.
Clothing shifted on the hangers, so I stepped toward the rack and parted the clothing with one hand.
There stood Jacqueline, in her bra and panties, hair undone from her bun, with her hands over her face. I was breathing heavily; all blood leaving my brain and flowing south. My cock was desperately at attention, fighting to free itself from my jeans.
I didn’t say anything, and neither did she.
So I crowded her space, resting my hands on the shelf above her head as I trapped her against the back wall of her closet, “…Look at you.”
Jacqueline parted her fingers, one dark eye spotting me.
I grinned, determined to appreciate these moments with her. How she hid the most vulnerable parts of herself from everyone else, but not me.
“This isn’t the most ideal location,” I glanced around her walk-in closet, before leveling her with my undivided attention, “But I can make it work. Or you can come with me to the bed. Your choice.”
Jacqueline’s breathing kicked up, “…And if I want to resist you a little bit more?”
I bit my bottom lip, my grip tightening on the shelf I braced myself on, “You can try.”
The corner of Jacqueline’s lip kicked up the corner, liking that response.
In a blink, she swiped her hand behind her clothes, shielding herself from me again. I laughed, pulling the clothes back and grabbing her waist, tugging her out from hiding.
“Do you remember your safe word, Jacqueline?” I grunted as she struggled against my hold. I managed to wrap my arms around her waist, carrying her out of the closet.
“Yes.”
“Do you want to use it?” I stopped just at the foot of her bed.
Her hair swayed back and forth as she shook her head, “No.”
“Good.” Then I practically threw her onto the bed. Jacqueline squealed a bit, but I wasn’t letting her pretend to get away from me for long. Playing with Jacqueline was always one of my favorite pastimes, but I was unraveling. Desperate for the connection she was willing to provide me in these moments.
I grabbed a fistful of her panties and started yanking them down.
Jacqueline laughed, moaning when I trapped her body underneath mine to keep her still.
“You’re so sexy like this, love,” I grunted, yanking her panties farther down. I decided to let them linger around her knees while pulling the cups of her bra down, “You have no idea.”
Jacqueline groaned when I mouthed her, teasing her aroused peaks with my tongue in a way that I knew would drive her to the edge faster than anything else.
“Leo,” she moaned my name religiously, but I was the one desperate to worship every part of her.
Right when her hips started thrusting against me, her breath panting shorter and shorter, I eased up. Her hands had since tangled themselves in my hair, and when I released her breast with a loud and wet pop , she groaned.
“You think I’m going to go easy on you?”
Jacqueline pouted, her cheeks and chest flushed, “A girl can hope.”
I chuckled, enough amusement leaking through to mask my sincerity when I said, “After that little stunt you pulled today?”
Jacqueline stiffened for half a second, her dark eyes quickly scanning my face. Whatever she found relaxed her, and she tugged my face down to hers in a searing, sloppy kiss.
I allowed her to take a little of me, before I pulled back and removed her hands from my hair, “Do you have any idea what you do to me, woman?”
Jacqueline shook her head, her eyes hooded and her lips swollen and glossy. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
My hand danced across her collarbone, between her sensitive breasts, and down her smooth stomach, before finding what I wanted right between her legs. She was hot, wet, and soft for me.
Me .
“What do I do?” Jacqueline whispered, gasping when I teased her sensitive flesh.
“You drive me fucking mad with want.” I wasn’t letting up on her, flicking my thumb over her clit in retribution. She was gasping, thrusting her hips into my hand, “You make me want things I haven’t wanted in a very, very long time. Then you go and tease me with them.”
“T-tease you?” Jacqueline was clutching my wrist now, holding me between her legs. Chasing her release.
“What I would give,” I gasped, lowering my head to suck on the sensitive skin between her neck and shoulder. She whined, and I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped teasing her clit to search for a condom from her bedside drawer, “To have everyone know exactly who you part your legs for.” Jacqueline’s eyebrows jumped, but she held my arm so I wouldn’t let go of her too much. She took the condom from my hands, even ripping the foil off with her teeth.
“You-you want that?” Jacqueline asked when I took the rubber from her hand and sheathed myself with it.
“I want you , Jacqueline,” I pushed her onto her back when she started to sit up, because as fun as exploring sexual positions is, missionary with me on top would always be my favorite, “I want you to be mine .” I kissed her again, desperate to taste her plump lips. I was ravenous, biting and sucking and licking into her mouth without a chance for her to catch her breath.
She let me plunder her mouth as I dropped to my forearms above her, teasing her wetness with my cock.
“I’m yours.” Jacqueline nodded, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, and widening her legs for me. I shook my head.
“I’m serious,” I glanced down between us, watching as I pulled my hips back to finally, finally sink into her, “I want you in every sense of the word.”
Jacqueline moaned as I stretched her out, going slow so I wouldn’t cause harm.
“Then take me,” she gasped.
“No.” I practically growled, something hot burning in my chest. I shifted one of my forearms so that I could gently fist her hair, “Look at me, Jacqueline,” her eyelids fluttered open, and the look in them only settled my resolve. I couldn’t do this anymore. It was real for me. It wasn’t us playing, it wasn’t a game. I was done. She was it for me, “The next time I take you like this,” I thrust my hips for emphasis, making her bite her lip, “I need to know that there isn’t going to be anyone else.” I pulled back and thrust deeper.
Jacqueline’s eyes widened, redness starting to tinge the whites as she tightened her hold around my shoulders.
She was starting to hear me.
“The next time we do this…” I rocked into her again. I released the hold on her hair, pleased with her attention, while I shifted my weight to the side. My fingers found her swollen clit in between us, easier to access, when she finally kicked off her panties from around her knees to hook her knee on my waist. Her other was trapped underneath me, but it didn’t feel like either of us cared, “It’s not going to be a game. It’s going to be real. I’ll be yours, and you’ll be mine.”
Jacqueline’s lips parted, her body working perfectly in sync with mine as moisture started to gather in her eyes, “Leo…”
It wasn’t a disappointed tone, or a tone saying goodbye, so I rocked harder into her again. My chest cracked open, staring at her all pliant and soft underneath me. Her inner walls started to tighten, and I ground my teeth before speaking up again.
“I can’t pretend anymore, Jacqueline,” I shook my head, kissing her lips aggressively once more before continuing, “I wish I could, but—do—” I worked my fingers over her more, finding the motion that made her chest flush and her breathing catch, “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Jacqueline nodded, rolling her hips against me and my hand in a way that made me start to see gods. Heat and pleasure shot down my spine, exploding out of me at the same time she cried out my name. Her pussy practically locked around my cock, making it difficult for me to keep up my ministrations enough to prolong her release, but not impossible.
After she felt slack underneath me, I finally released everything I had into her. Groaning into her neck, grinding my hips against hers. I wanted to embed myself in her, permanently anchor her soul to mine. Desperate for Jacqueline to understand everything I felt for her.
Silence filled the room, the sound of our breaths, our bodies shifting over the covers as I leaned back on my forearms, still inside of her.
Jacqueline was staring at me, her eyes locked on me in a way that made me almost crumble against her. But I didn’t. I had to do it. The words were burning in my chest, it physically hurt to hold them in.
Gently, I cupped her face, my thumb tracing her swollen bottom lip, my eyes locked there as I whispered, “I love you.”
Jacqueline’s breath caught. She swallowed, and her eyes started blinking. She pressed her lips together for half a second, before opening them again.
So I gently covered her lips with the palm of my hand, shaking my head.
Jacqueline’s brows pinched, confusion coating her eyes while I spoke, “Don’t say anything back, yet. Just…sit with that knowledge, will you?” I inhaled another shaky breath, having to say it again, “I love you, Jacqueline. There is no other way to put it.” I held in a breath of my own, gnawing on my bottom lip as I saw the pinch in her brow smooth out, her eyes softening, “I know you probably need time to process this. I can give that to you, yeah?”
Jacqueline nodded under my hand, not enough to dislodge it from her lips, but enough for me to understand. I nodded back, slowly pulling my hand back. Jacqueline’s eyes dropped to my own lips, and I couldn’t resist.
I was done for.
Dropping my lips to hers, I kissed her. The first kiss with everything I had on the table, bared to her. A kiss that held nothing back. A kiss with my truth out in the open, in the palms of her hands. I kissed Jacqueline like I wanted to kiss her; like she was mine and I was hers.
Finally, I pulled back, unable to stare into her eyes for long before I cleared my throat and shifted off of the bed.
I glanced down, realizing I never even got my pants off.
“I’m going to go.” I cleared my throat after my words, rubbing the back of my head as I stood from her mattress.
Jacqueline slowly sat up, her bra still around her waist, before she rested her arms on her bent knees, “…Okay.”
My clothing was by her entryway door, there wasn’t anything for me to justify lingering in her bedroom like this. So I forced my gaze up to hers, attempting to smile, but unable to hold it this time.
Jacqueline’s lips parted, a tear escaping her eye as she watched me discard the condom in a nearby bin and zip myself back up.
“I…” I hesitated at her bedroom door, squeezing my fingers against the wood, “I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what, exactly, I was apologizing for. For telling her something huge while I was still deep inside of her? For irrevocably changing the dynamic between us forever? For developing the feelings in the first place?
Perhaps all of the above.
So I stepped out, slowly closing her bedroom door behind me.
Right when I heard the latch click, I barely heard Jacqueline’s muffled voice say, “Don’t apologize,” before I left.