Chapter 42
Jay,
Sleeping on the couch again tonight. Mira is in my bed. I want to tell you so badly what happened, but I can’t. It’s not my story. And you’re not answering me anyway.
I know you’ll find out eventually, so I think it’s fine if I write about it. Riley really hurt Mira. I mean, he really hurt her this time. She cried a lot last night, so I made lasagna because it always makes me feel better. It seemed to help a little.
I really hope you don’t spiral when you find out all that’s been going on behind your back.
It’s definitely a lot, and my heart feels like it’s in my stomach every time I think about it too much.
Even I should’ve noticed it when we were younger, but I didn’t.
Mira and Riley seem to be experts at concealing things.
Or maybe he’s the expert and has taught her well.
I talked to her some tonight, and she revealed more about how it all started and just how serious they were.
Riley is definitely a lot more manipulative than we’ve realized. He’s got her wrapped around his finger.
As long as she’s with me, I’m going to ensure she doesn’t run back to him. He’s already called her at least twenty times, and I’ve had to convince her not to answer.
It must be so difficult to love the very thing that can kill you, but maybe that’s how addiction is.
You just fall in love with the bad thing.
You know it’s bad for you, but you just keep going back for more because of a habit or love or being hooked on a feeling.
I think if you talk to Mira about this and relate it to your sobriety, you might understand a lot more of what she’s going through.
I’m also going to try to understand more of what you’ve gone through. You deserve that, and I owe you that.
I love you,
A