Chapter 18
I bump into Jack on the crew stairway as we both head below deck. There’s a familiarity when we notice each other that shifts to formality a second later. I hate that in losing Tom I’ve lost Jack too. But in the same way Tom is Oscar and Eliza’s friend, Jack is Tom’s. Not mine.
Stuff it.If he’s not my friend, I don’t have to choose my words carefully.
I stop in my tracks, and Jack follows suit. “Why is it that he messed up, and yet I’ve spent a week trying to get a moment alone with him to explain myself?”
Once I had some time to calm down, I realised that while I might feel powerless, I did have a choice: I could stay upset about him falling for what he saw like everyone else didand stubbornly end it there, or I could clue him in on what really happened and be in with a chance at getting back to how things were.
“Would you like to grab a drink?” Jack asks.
“Yes, I think I would.”
We go to the bar. It’s a far better option than my plan to wallow in my room. It was either that or go out to some social where I’d only be stared at and excluded from conversations about me, all the while being supervised by my brother. For once, I ask for vodka in my soda and lime. I need a little courage if we’re going to have this conversation. We find ourselves a table, and I choose the seat that faces the wall. Less people to see, less people to see me.
“How long is he going to keep avoiding me? If he seriously thinks that was the real me, I swear toGod…”
“Of course he doesn’t.”
“No, not ‘of course’. He won’t even look at me!” I don’t mean to snap, but the frustration has reached boiling point, and I’ve had enough of being ignored. “Why?—?”
“He won’t go near you because he thinks he ruined your life.”
His words put me in my place, but to lighten the mood, I tut. “Men. Always trying to take credit for a woman’s work.”
Jack chuckles, and the tension in the air eases.
“Is he mad that I hid it from him?”
He shakes his head. “Not anymore. He said he would have done the same.”
“I was going to tell him. I was just trying to find the right time.” I study the ice cubes floating in my glass. “I’ve never felt like this about someone before,” I admit quietly, unable to bring myself to look up and find pity in his eyes.
“You two look like you could use a distraction.” Tiegan places three drinks on the table and then sits down on the chair next to Jack.
He smiles and takes his. “What should we toast to?”
We look between one another, waiting for an excuse to drink.
“My virginity. Long may it stay intact.”
I think I might be entering my shameless era. I’ve decided that if other people can discuss my fake sex life, I can talk about my real one. Even though I doubt my admission will leave this table, if it does, it’ll be the only true rumour in circulation.
They smirk with me as we clink our glasses together before taking a sip.
“Wait. I thought you had sex in a hot tub.”
Jack and I both stare at Tiegan, stunned by her bluntness. Though I’m honestly relieved to have someone talk about their assumptions of me to my face, because the things I’ve overheard…
Enough crew members follow Tom that when the video of us got posted, everyone saw the aftermath too. Gossip spreads like wildfire in a place like this. Some pervert even went so far as to find and slowly circulate a montage of all my “sexcapades”. It’s one thing knowing the faceless population has watched those moments, but to have my work colleagues – people I have to see every day; people I’m trapped on here with – watch them too, it’s beyond humiliating. My brother made it his mission to track the creep down and took great pleasure in being the one to give him the “6 a.m. knock”, which saw him kicked off the ship that very hour without so much as an explanation or a discussion.
I shrug. “Faked it. All of it. Couldn’t even tell you how big his todger was.”
Tiegan and Jack titter at my word choice.
“Never felt it, never saw it.” I know I have to be careful with what I say now everyone seems to have a vested interest in my life. Hell would rain down on me if that admission got out – more so than it already is. Though I reckon fans of the show would discredit it immediately if the news ever hit the tabloids.
All Tiegan does is stare at me for a second as she takes inthe new information, but she quickly moves on, not doubting me or questioning it further. “Shit. Well-played.”
“Thanks.” I sip my drink.
“Hold on – so you and Tom never…?”
“Nope.” I let the word pop on my lips.
The conversation moves on, and it’s refreshing to be spoken to like a person, not an alien. It’s the first dose of normality I’ve had in a while.
Tiegan can be quite an intimidating presence, but it’s only because of how she carries herself. She’s so confident and self-assured – or, in other words, sexy. But I’ve gotten to know her over the past three months, and she’s someone I hope I could call a friend even without Tom or Jack by my side.
In the middle of a sentence, Jack stops talking, both him and Tiegan tensing at something behind me. I turn around and goose bumps spread across my skin. Tom’s standing frozen in the middle of the bar, looking as downtrodden as he has been since he found out the news. Being this close to him finally makes my stomach drop.
I watch as a mumbled “sorry” leaves his lips before he dips his head and walks out. My leg shakes under the table, and tears well in my eyes as I look anywhere except at the others.
“Ah-ah. We’re not gonna do tears, honey.” Tiegan places her hand over mine.
Jack shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “He’s so fucking stupid.”
I shoot Tiegan a quick glance. I’ve never seen Jack in this mood or heard him speak about anyone like that before, let alone Tom.
He lets out a short huff. “He has it in his head that you’re better off without him, and worse than that, he thinks he can cope without you. And he can’t. I have never seen a more hopeless boy in all my life, and let me tell you, that is really saying something.”
As much as I want to be pleased with Jack’s opinion, I’m infuriated to discover Tom really has given up on us. And for what? To save me from himself?
“Let me tell you a story about my baby brother,” Tiegan begins. “My parents figured out early on that he had celiac disease. Absolute curse to put on a person, if you ask me, but anyway. One day, we went to a party, and he was beside himself that he couldn’t have cake. I mean, you try explaining to a three-year-old what gluten is. He caused a big old scene but eventually got over it and weirdly didn’t ask again. Flashforward to that evening, when he’s puking his little guts out because he snuck a piece while no one was looking… All of us paid for it that night, but he learnt very quickly that when we say he can’t have something, he can’t have it.”
“I’m lost. How’s that relevant?” Jack asks.
“Because sometimes people need to suffer the consequences of their choices before they can admit they made a mistake.”
I can’t get the hurt on Tom’s face out of my head. “I think we’re both suffering.”
“No – you’re suffering. Tom’s just commiserating.”
Jack and I are quiet for a moment as we process this. The fact he doesn’t have anything to counter with means she’s actually right.
I don’t want his pity. I want him.
“You know what I think would really make him suffer?” Jack looks between the two of us, his cunning eyes so blue they’re almost grey.
Tiegan smirks. “That’s a bold move, my friend.”
“What?” I ask, not catching their drift.
“He needs a wake-up call,” Jack states, ignoring me, full of vengeance.
Tiegan looks my way. “What do you say we throw a little party…and tell Tom his favourite kind of cake is on the menu?”
Oh… Oh…
He thinks he’s the only one being tortured by distancing himself, but he turned my life upside down and walked right out of it, leaving me up shit creek without a paddle. And yet I have been the one trying to get a morsel of his time to grovel for his acceptance and prove who I am and why he should still want me. Well, screw that. And screw him.
“What have I got to lose?” I hear my words out loud and realise the innuendo I unintentionally made. My confidence suddenly dwindles. “Wait, I’m not going to?—”
Both of them are shaking their heads.
“It won’t get that far,” Jack reassures me. “He’ll make sure of it.”
“What if he doesn’t turn up?” I ask Tiegan, noticing we’re only a few minutes away from the cut-off time.
“Don’t worry. He will.”
We stay perched on the end of the bed as others chat around us. I shouldn’t be here – and I still think I might leave – but I’m tired of getting attention from everyone except the one person I want it from. I’m tired of being ignored. So I remain patient, focusing on the chilled music in the background as the seconds drag on. I’m putting all my faith in Tiegan and Jack that this will work.
There’s a knock at the door as the digital clock on the nightstand strikes 11 p.m., and Tiegan gets up to open it. Please say it’s them. Jack’s tall form enters the room, and as despair threatens to crush me, Tom steps out from behind him, his hair damp and slicked back, his cheeks still flushed from what I assume was a hot shower. Tiegan locks the door behind them and heads back to me while I study Tom. He’s breathing so hard it’s impossible not to see his chest heaving, and from the look in his eye as he glares at me, it’s not from rushing here.
Good luck ignoring me now, American boy.
“You still up for this?” Tiegan checks in, sitting beside me once again.
“Yeah-huh.” I nod and let out a shaky breath.
“Try to relax, okay?” She leans in close, placing a hand on my thigh. Her breath is warm against my neck, making all the little hairs there stand on end. “You’re a free woman. You don’t need his permission to have a little fun.”
Anticipation flurries through my veins, and she places a kiss on my skin. I ripple as a shiver passes over me, my nipples hardening beneath my lace bra.
She purrs in response. “So sensitive.” Her kisses move higher, closer to my ear, and she trails her fingers slowly up my bare thigh and under my tight dress before skimming back down again. I’ve never kissed a woman before, but every now and then I’ve found myself daydreaming about what it would be like. The idea has always interested me – I’ve just never acted on it.
Feeling braver, I turn my face towards hers, but I let her take the lead. Her lips touch mine, and energy courses through me as I kiss her back. My hands roam her body, squeezing the curve of her hips as the kiss grows deeper. As I enjoy it. I find the hem of her dress and lift it up and over her head, and then she feels for the bottom of mine and does the same. I thought all I’d want to know was Tom’s reaction to seeing me in my underwear, but I want to take in Tiegan’s reaction too. I chew my bottom lip as I admire her body. Her dark green underwear complements her emerald eyes, while long, fiery-red hair cascades over her shoulders. I wish I could be confident like her.
I think she’s waiting for me to make the next move, but I can’t bring myself to initiate it. I want more, but I don’t know how to get it.
“Do you want to kiss me here?” She points to her collarbone, and I nod.
She takes my hand and pulls me closer until I can cautiously place my lips on her. So soft. And sweet like shea butter. “Another one,” she requests. “That’s so nice. Keep doing that.”
I appreciate her encouragement. I’m so nervous that I have no idea how to process what’s happening. I do know, however, that I’m enjoying it. A lot.
We didn’t plan much past making out and feeling each other up a bit. I honestly thought Tom would have stormed over here and claimed me as his by now. But he isn’t a caveman – he’s complicated. Maybe he’s not even watching. Maybe he’s decided to play me at my own game by playing with someone else.
No.
“Tell me what he’s doing,” I ask Tiegan urgently while my back is to him.
“He’s sitting in a chair by the door. Watching us.”
“Alone?”
“Alone,” she confirms, and she squeezes my bottom.
Thank goodness. I know how hypocritical it is of me to be upset at the thought of him with someone else, but this is all about him.
“He’s not the only one watching us.”
Self-consciousness swarms me, and I glance around, realising we’ve got an audience. Other couples are working each other up through their clothes. One girl on the chair by the window rolls her hips on her partner’s lap underneath her. All of them keep curious eyes on us.
“Do you like that?”
I get lost in my thoughts for a moment. I… Yes, I think I do. But?—
“You’re allowed to. It doesn’t make you dirty if you do,” she reassures me.
“Yes. I like it.”
A smile grows at the corner of her lips. “Your consent is your power. You’re in control here. They’ll only watch if you let them.”
My eyes begin to prickle, but I blink the sensation away. I feel so safe in this room. So liberated. Millions of people thought they saw me have sex with more than one person on multiple occasions. It doesn’t matter that we were faking it or that the editing implied something that wasn’t happening. I thought I was in the driver’s seat then,but the wheel was never in my hands. Deep down, I think I knew that, but I couldn’t let myself accept the truth. Denial was the only thing keeping me sane.
“What would you like to do next?” she asks.
I place my lips next to her ear, ensuring no one else can hear. “Make him fight for me.”
She smiles and then kisses me hungrily while laying me down on the bed and placing her thigh between mine. We let ourselves get carried away, our hips rolling and my body chasing the need building between my legs. Before long, the bed dips beside us, and my heart trills. Finally. But when I look up, my relief falters as I discover a grey pair of eyes looking down at me, not brown.
“Mind if I join you?” Jack looks from Tiegan and then to me.
This wasn’t part of the plan.
I finally give in and glance over at Tom, still in the chair Tiegan said he was in. Still alone. He’s staring over at the three of us with heat in his eyes.
I turn my attention back to Jack. “Is this a test?”
“Not for you.”
He’s punishing Tom. I don’t know what I did to earn his loyalty, but I’m not going to take it for granted. I grab his T-shirt and pull him into me, determination and Tiegan’s words giving me the confidence to kiss him like the world will end if I don’t.
I’m a free woman. And I know how to fake it.
Kissing Jack feels like getting off a train after a long day. I’m near, but I’m not home yet. That feeling, plus the slight sharpness of his beard against my lips, only serves to further remind me that nothing can compare to Tom. I ease off and look at Tiegan, who’s been nibbling my neck while I’ve been occupied. Then I turn back to Jack. They kiss, and my heart skips with it happening so close to me. With me. I sit up and brush my lips over Tiegan’s skin, sliding her bra strap off her shoulder. She eases her arm out and then breaks the kiss with Jack, coming back to me. Jack does the same to her, removing the strap off her other shoulder before unclasping her bra. Her breasts fall free and I stop to appreciate her. She’s so beautiful. And I’m so turned on right now, knowing Tom’s watching this unfold. I want to taste her, but I hesitate.
“The answer’s yes, honey.” She sweeps a strand of hair behind my ear, and I can’t stop my tongue from darting out over my lips. Then I dive in, sucking her nipple into my mouth, my face pressed into her full breast as she moans. Jack’s quick to join me, taking her other breast as Tiegan writhes on top of me.
How is this happening? Am I actually having a threesome right now? I have to be one of the most advanced virgins out there. This is…so hot.
Jack grazes his teeth on Tiegan’s nipple, then he kisses her there once more, soothing her. And suddenly both their eyes are on me.
I release my lips from Tiegan.
“Do you want us to do that to you?” Jack asks, his voice rough like sandpaper.
Yes.But…
I look back at Tom. Why isn’t this working? Have we got this completely wrong? Am I making everything worse? Have I crossed a line I won’t be able to come back from?
Tiegan leans closer, she and Jack now shielding me from Tom’s view. Noticing the war I’m at with myself she says, “Until he tells you you’re his, you don’t need to feel guilty. Jack knows what Tom can handle. And he knows how to make a woman feel good.” A devilish grin plays on her lips, while Jack remains stoic, letting me make the decision on my own.
I nod, then Tiegan snatches up my lips again while Jack places kisses on my neck, and the overstimulation makes me squirm with need.
“I promise I’m going to take care of you,” he whispers as Tiegan’s lips make their way down my body. “You’re as much mine as he is, and I’m angry too. I know why he backed off, but I don’t agree with it. I love him, but I want to make him hurt for hurting you.”
I hadn’t considered Jack was caught in the middle of this. I didn’t think I really meant anything to him – I just thought he accepted me in when Tom and I started hanging out. But he’s proven that’s not the case tonight. I’m his too.
“I need you to trust me.” He pulls back and looks into my eyes.
“I do.”
“Thank you.” He claims me with his mouth, kissing me fiercely, and my clit pulses immensely – both because of him and because Tiegan’s fingers are incredibly close to where I ache for them to be.
I open my eyes and pull away from Jack to give her a quick “yes” before going back to him for more. I bend my knee and Tiegan’s fingertips brush over my knickers so lightly I think I might die if I don’t get more from her.
Despite eventually begging her to, she doesn’t apply any more pressure.
“The teasing’s all part of the fun,” Jack mumbles as Tiegan watches me with a smirk.
I sink my head back with a groan while they giggle. Tiegan works me up, and Jack’s lips hover over my nipples, still woefully covered by my bra, but through the lace I can feel the warmth from his mouth, and it drives me wild. I arch my back, searching for real contact, but they keep themselves distant.
Impatient, I glare up at both of them. “Please,” I implore.
Jack looks up to Tiegan with the devil on his shoulder. “What do you think, Tiegs?”
“Seeing as she asked so nicely, why don’t we give her exactly what she wants?”
“We might just have to.”
Before I can even process what’s happening, Tiegan’s by my side and Jack’s head is between my legs. His lips trail over the inside of my thigh as Tiegan helps me out of my bra. Her eyes wander over me, my nipples so desperate for attention it’s almost painful.
“Such a pretty thing, and he still thinks he can live without you.” She pushes my buttons and I give in again, glancing over at Tom, who I hope to see in distress – but there’s an expression on his face I can’t read instead.
My body melts and explodes like popping candy as Jack pulls my knickers to one side and covers my core with his mouth at the same time as Tiegan sucks my breast while squeezing the other. A smile spreads on Tom’s lips, and I almost come at the sight of it. Jeeeesus. Tiegan was right: Jack knows exactly what he’s doing. But Jack was wrong to think this would hurt Tom.
I dig my fingers into Jack’s long, dirty-blond hair and hold him against me, scared he’ll decide to ease off any second and I’ll be left high and dry.
“Does that feel good?” Tiegan asks, lying down beside me, skimming her fingertips over my bare skin.
“So good,” I answer deliriously.
“Do you know what would feel even better?”
She lifts Jack’s hand to her mouth and sucks on his middle and ring fingers, causing anticipation to rock through me. Jack gauges my reaction and grins when he sees the smile I’m biting back. Tiegan watches him with me, but he doesn’t slip inside; he strokes me again and again, like an animal playing with its food.
Unable to bear it any longer, I reach for his wrist and guide him to my entrance. “I’m begging you, please?—”
Ohhhh my God.He glides his fingers in and out, and I’m so sensitive it almost tickles. Though, before I can get close to a climax, Tiegan stops him, and I’m so exhausted from being wound up I nearly scream. But I stop myself from complaining when Tiegan sucks on his fingers again, closing her eyes and moaning softly as she tastes me on them while I stare at her, slack-jawed. Jesus.
Jack kneels over me, and I follow his gaze to Tom, who’s the only one watching now, the others in the room seemingly lost in their own plans. “Keep your eyes on him,” he tells me.
He eases both his fingers back inside of me, and it is incredible. As he pulses them with a come-here motion, his thumb taps against my clit, and I lose any shred of composure I had left. I’m facing Tom, but I can’t keep my eyes from shutting tight as a long-awaited orgasm crashes through me. Jack doesn’t let up while I wriggle with pleasure; he keeps me floating for I don’t even know how long. But when my feet find the ground again and I open my eyes, Tom’s there, standing beside the bed. Taking a second to catch my breath, I notice the apology written on his face.
I’m aware of Jack and Tiegan beside me, but no one moves until I reach for him. And then he’s mine, and the world fades away.
Tom kisses me as if I’m the air he breathes, and like a fire, my oxygen only makes the flames burn brighter. I tug at his clothes, needing to feel his skin against mine, and he moves quickly to strip down to his underwear. We hold each other, moving and feeling, getting everything and not getting enough at the same time.
“I’m so sorry, Princess,” he says between kisses.
“I know.” I pull away slightly. “But I’m not sorry for tonight.” I study his face. I need him to be okay with this, because it was messy and spontaneous, but I don’t regret it. Because it was for him.
“You shouldn’t be.” His expression is so easy, so gentle, so happy.
And I’m…shameless.
I reach for him through his boxers. “I need you,” I say, making my meaning clear.
“Yeah?” He grins. “Here?”
I smile, no longer nervous, just excited. “Yeah.”
Tom shuffles up the bed, trying not to disturb Jack and Tiegan next to us, and rearranges the pillows so he can sit up and lean against the wall.
I straddle him, a little unsure. “Like this?”
“I read…uh, I heard it won’t go as deep.”
I still can’t get over the fact he’s done research for me.
When I don’t reply, he counteroffers, “Or if there’s another position you wanna try, we can?—”
“I’m good. My heart just feels like it’s glowing.”
His concern disappears and he beams a smile at me. “Come here then, firefly.” He pulls me in for another kiss and my hips roll against his, craving more of him.
I slip my fingers inside the waistband of his boxers. “Please take these off.”
He giggles, and we both rid ourselves of our underwear.
Tom caresses my pussy and groans. “Fuck, Gem.I was gonna ask if you feel ready, but I think I know the answer.”
I’ve never been so wet in all my life, and I’m confident we’ll be successful this time.
“Did my best friend make you wet, Princess?” A sly grin brushes his lips.
I fight the urge to crumble at his touch and nod.
Tom exchanges a look with Jack, who reaches over to the bedside table and passes us a condom and a small bottle of lube, barely breaking his rhythm with Tiegan. Tom puts the condom on and then squeezes some lube into his hand before stroking himself. “I don’t think we need this, but I wanna be extra careful.”
We both hold him as he strokes himself against me, and then we line ourselves up, and my heart races as I realise this is it.
“Don’t rush – we have all the time in the world.” He holds me close, and I start lowering myself onto him, but even though I’m so ready for him, there’s still resistance. “Breathe out, baby. Let your body get used to it. And if it hurts, we don’t have to?—”
Oh, wow.
The second I relax, he enters me in one mind-altering motion. Ohhh my goodness. I feel…full. I try to move, but I stop when I realise I’m not quite ready yet. It’s a strange sensation, but not a bad one.
“Are you doing okay, Princess?”
I was looking at where we’re joined, but at this, I turn my attention back to him. “Yeah.” A huge smile breaks out on my face. “I’m doing great!”
He smiles back, but then another emotion crosses his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I fucked up, Gem. And then I went about it so wrong and I?—”
I push a wave of his hair behind his ear and gently lift his head to look at me. “I forgive you. Which you’d know if—” I cut myself off and kiss him instead. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, but right now…I want you.”
“Thank you.”
We steal each other’s lips, and as I get used to the feeling, I begin to move my hips until I’m able to slowly rise and fall a bit at a time.
“You feel amazing.”
Delight swarms me. “I do?”
“Mm-hmm. And you’re doing so well.” He sweeps back the strands of my hair that fell over my face while finding a good rhythm. “I’m so proud of you.”
Tingles shiver up my spine. I like making him proud. “I want to try…” I stop, realising I don’t quite know what it is that I want.
“Deeper, faster, a new position?”
“Faster.”
His grin matches mine. “Yeah? Okay, can you put your knees up so you’re kinda crouching over me?”
I wriggle around and do what I think he means. “Like…froggy-style?”
He laughs. “Yeah, that’s it. You got it.” He puts his hands under me, making it much easier for me to ride him. He lifts me up and down slowly at first, then he picks up the pace, and my eyes roll to the back of my head as I land back down against him again and again. “Holy shit, Gem.”
The sensation of him hitting the spot deep inside me, not to mention the way my clit knocks against his skin with every movement, is both too much to handle and not enough. Every muscle of mine tightens. I feel as though I’m driving a hundred miles an hour and can’t find the brakes. “I think— Tom— I think…”
My hands dig into the back of his neck so hard I’m sure I’ll leave a mark, and I press my forehead against his. So close.
“That’s it, baby. Let go. I got you.”
I fall, and warmth flushes through me, everything relaxing as Tom takes my full weight and continues moving me exactly right. I whimper and groan, neither caring nor having any restraint about how loud I am. Why have I never done this before?
Tom slows his pace, and the haze eventually clears enough for me to see him. Kiss him. Melt into him. We huff and puff as I lean on his shoulder.
“I get what all the fuss is about now.”
He giggles softly. “Look how far my little wallflower has come.”
Awareness itches my skin as I recentre myself, remembering where we are. There are so many people around us, but I like it. Does that make me kinky? I hope so.
“Tom.”
“Mm.” He brushes his thumb over my cheek.
“It’s happening.”
He smiles. “Yeah, it’s happening.”
“I’m so glad it’s you,” I confess.
Something deepens in his gaze and his dimples become more pronounced. “Me too.”
I press my mouth against his, starving for another taste of him, and he slowly moves to lie me down on my back, staying connected with me as he does.
Oh, that’s nice. That’s really nice.
He slowly moves on top of me, sinking so much deeper than before.
“Ohh fuck!”
He stops completely still, and I frown in confusion.
“You okay?” he asks.
I reassure him with a drowsy, bliss-filled nod of my head.
“That was a good ‘fuck’?”
“That was a very good ‘fuck’.”
He relaxes again and beams. “Did I make Little Miss Perfect cuss?”
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. I’ve never suited swearing. I rarely have big enough feelings to warrant it, but doing this – experiencing sensations like this – I can’t help myself. Placing my hands on his hips, I guide him slowly, gasping with every inch of him that I take. He gradually speeds up, and I crumble with every mind-blowing thrust, but there’s tension in his brow that isn’t entirely from pleasure, and I worry.
“Is it still good?” I ask. “Should I be doing something…else?”
He shakes his head before kissing my forehead. “No, baby. I’m just trying to keep it together. It’s been too long. You feel too good.”
The tingle returns, and I love knowing I’m undoing him. “Don’t hold back.”
“You sure?”
“So sure.”
“But you’ll tell me if?—”
“I promise I’ll tell you if it hurts. But until I do, please act like it doesn’t.”
There’s a rumble in his chest, almost like a growl, as a devious smile tugs on his lips. “Jeez, Gem. I’m having a hard enough time as it is.”
I bite my lip, enjoying how he’s coming apart. Because of me. He pulls back and thrusts into me hard, stopping to cast me a glance.
My mouth drops open with pleasure. “Do that again.”
He leans in closer, his skin pressed against mine, and he does, driving me wild as sounds of his ecstasy pour into my ear, so needy and masculine. The feeling from before builds again, so much quicker this time, and I spiral fast. He pants and moans as I sense myself squeezing around him, taking everything he’s giving me.
“Tom…I’m— Shit!”
He grunts as he loses his restraint too.
Seeing him like this, being here, where it all began for us, is beautiful and meaningful and everything I wanted my first time to be. We collapse together, lying side by side, unable to do anything other than smile and breathe each other in.
“I missed you,” he says, stroking my cheek.
There goes my firefly heart, shining away again at seeing how much he cares for me. I know there’s so much more he’s not saying, but it’s not needed tonight.
“I missed you too.”
When the night wraps up, Jack, Tom, and I stick around to help tidy Tiegan’s room and change the sheets, and then we say our good nights and head down the hall. So many thoughts are running through my mind, but the loudest one of all is: I just had sex with Tom bloody Parks!
My room is en route to Tom and Jack’s room, and as we approach it, I prepare myself to part ways and pretend I’m fine with going in alone. I could always invite Tom in to stay with me, but the idea of Jack being left on his own doesn’t sit right. Without him, I wouldn’t have Tom back.
I come to a stop outside my door, and the boys carry on for only two steps before they both turn back to me. Tom grabs my hand and drags me with them.
“If you think I’m going to let you leave my side after tonight, you’re so wrong.”
There’s my caveman.