ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟝 #3
No answer came back. Only the sound of the wind moving gently through the trees.
~
I started to head back inside after my little spiral. Sleep would probably fix me, or at least postpone whatever breakdown this week had planned for me.
I quietly slid the back door shut behind me, making sure the latch didn't click too loudly, but it clicked anyway.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket and turned toward the kitchen.
"Dixie?"
I nearly jumped out of my skin. My hand flew instinctively to my chest.
"Cameron!"
He stood near the bottom of the staircase, one hand rubbing sleep from his eyes. His hair was flattened on one side from the pillow, and he hadn't bothered putting a shirt back on before coming downstairs.
Gray sweatpants hung low on his hips, and faint pillow marks still crossed one shoulder.
He blinked at me slowly, still half asleep.
"What are you doing?" I let out the breath I'd been holding. "You scared me."
"I noticed." His voice was quite raspy.
He took a few slow steps toward me. "I could ask you the same thing."
What was I going to tell him now?
"I..." I looked briefly toward the back door before meeting his eyes again. "I just needed some fresh air."
He studied me for a second before he nodded once. "That's fair."
"What about you?" I ask.
"I'm thirsty."
I couldn't help the tiny smile that escaped. "At two-thirty in the morning?"
"Yes, Dixie. I get thirsty at inconvenient times."
"You also scare me at inconvenient times." I mutter under my breath.
He walked past me toward the refrigerator. The ice dispenser rumbled quietly as he filled a glass.
Neither of us spoke.
I watched him lean one hip against the counter while taking a long drink. Even half asleep, he looked exhausted.
I hated his eyes lately.They'd lost something, but I wasn't sure exactly what.
Hope, maybe. I just knew that something had gone missing alongside Molly.
"Uh, hey Cam?"
"Hm?" He lowered the glass.
"Are you sure the meeting is Thursday?"
I tried to sound casual, but it came out anything but.
He frowned. "What?"
"The meeting," I shrugged one shoulder, pretending to think. "Maybe your dad meant Friday?"
He stared at me before shaking his head. "No."
"I mean, maybe he misspoke." I forced a laugh that sounded painfully fake.
"Dixie," He set the glass down. "It was Thursday."
"Are you sure?"
"Very."
He tilted his head slightly. "Why?"
The question I'd been hoping he wouldn't ask.
My stomach twisted. "No reason."
"You've asked me a couple times now." His eyebrows lifted.
"Have I?"
"Yes."
I looked away first. "Oh."
He watched me for another moment before something seemed to click behind his eyes.
"Is this about work?" He furrowed his brows.
Of course that's where his mind went. Cameron knew me too well, sometimes.
My heartbeat sped up. "No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"You don't have court, or anything?"
"I'll figure it out."
His expression softened almost immediately.
"I told you, if it's work.." He walked closer before shrugging gently.
"I'd understand."
Cam was trying to make this easier for me, which made my dilemma impossible.
"No," I shook my head quickly. "It's fine."
"I'll be there."
The words tasted wrong, like they didn't belong to me.
His face relaxed.
"Okay."
I immediately noticed the relief behind it, he actually believed me. Guilt spread through me so quickly I thought I might throw up.
He picked up his water again, taking another sip before looking toward the staircase.
"We should probably try sleeping again."
"Probably."
He started walking. I stayed exactly where I was.
My feet suddenly felt rooted to the kitchen floor. Halfway up the first few steps, he noticed.
"Dix?"
"Hm?" I squeaked.
"You coming?"
"...Yeah." I forced my legs to move.
By the time I reached him, he was waiting near the landing instead of continuing toward our room.
"Are you sure you're okay? You're acting weird."
The question was so simple, but the answer wasn't.
No, not even close, Cameron.
My career felt like it was balancing on one shoulder, my marriage sat on the other.
How was I supposed to carry both?
"Yeah.." I smiled. "I'm okay."
He looked at me for another couple seconds- long enough that I wondered if he'd figured everything out.
Almost long enough that I nearly confessed right there in the hallway.
I almost told him.
He stepped closer, without saying anything, he slipped one arm around my shoulders.
The familiar warmth settled over me immediately as he gave me a gentle squeeze.
"If something's bothering you..you know you don't have to carry it alone."
I swallowed hard. "I know."
"You promise?"
"I promise." My throat tightened.
Another lie.
I just couldn't bear to see his face fall. If a lie would make him feel better, then a lie it is.
He kissed the top of my head absentmindedly before steering us both toward our bedroom.
I leaned into him as we walked. I wasn't sure how much longer I'd have of his comfort if Thursday went the wrong way.
He had no idea.
~