39. Hudson
When morning dawned, I actually felt refreshed and alive. Wearing the same clothes for a day and a half and sweating in them, however, had left me with a certain funk, and I was starving for a real meal, but I felt more awake than I had in a long time.
I sprang off Thane’s couch and checked the time, only to decide I could wake him with a home-cooked meal to thank him for housing my lousy ass these past few days.
But first…a shower.
I groaned in delight as soon as I stepped under the warm spray. Then, I soaped down twice and rinsed for longer than normal, appreciating the amazing sensation of water rushing over me before I turned the water back off again.
The guys had packed me a bag from home, so I rifled through that before throwing on some fresh jeans and my Rollings Stones shirt, brushing my teeth, and then whistling to myself as I moseyed barefoot from the guest bath to the kitchen.
I was singing Doja Cat under my breath and peeling a golden waffle off the grill when a yawning Thane stumbled into the kitchen, scratching his chest through his shirt.
Catching sight of me, he came to a surprised halt and greeted, “Morning. I’m guessing you feel better.”
“I feel awesome,” I announced perkily. “You hungry? I probably made enough of these to feed a small army.”
“Yeah, sure,” he rumbled as he shuffled his way to the counter. “I could eat.”
When he sat, I loaded him down, serving him with everything that could possibly pair with a Belgium waffle.
“Damn, this looks amazing,” he told me as he dove in, picking up his fork and knife.
“It is,” I assured. “I already taste-tested a couple.” Resting my elbows on the opposite side of the counter from where he sat, I watched him enjoy the food, glad he liked it. At least I hadn’t lost my ability to cook.
But the whole thing reminded me of feeding Faith the morning after I’d stayed with her, and an ache pierced through me.
I missed her.
Determined to keep the longing from getting to me, I forced my attention back to Thane.
“Seen that girl again, or have you turned her into a one-night stand yet?” I asked with a curious bob of the head.
Thane blinked at me in absolute confusion before he scoffed. “Of course, I’ve called her. She’s not going to become a one-night stand, trust me. But I’ve been a little too busy to go on another date.”
I shook my head sadly. “Man, you better lock that down before she thinks you’re not interested and gets away.”
“Dude.” Mouth full, he lifted his hands—a fork still clutched in one—and sent me a what-the-hell look. “How can I even think about dating right now when there’s a freaking ghost inside you?”
“Hell.” I waved an unconcerned hand. “I can think about dating, and I’m the one it’s inside. The world’s not going to stop just because I’m possessed. If you like this girl, get out there and claim her.” Lifting my hands as if that somehow dispelled all the responsibility I knew he felt for me, I added, “Tell you what, I’ll bunk at Union’s place tonight. So you should call your lady and ask her out.” When he merely blinked at me, I snapped my fingers. “Right now, mister.”
Thane only shook his head. “I can’t believe we’re even talking about this. There’s no way I’m going to be able to concentrate on anything else until you’re?—”
“Until nothing,” I broke in, growing serious. “Look, I think we’re all going to have to come to terms with the fact that I’m probably going to be this way for…a while.” Feeling my eyes mist over the idea that I’d probably be this way for the rest of my life—until it finally killed me—I sniffed and shook my head. “I know you’ve put it on yourself to take care of us and fix all our problems, but you can’t stop living your life just because mine is fucked. You wouldn’t want that for me, and I sure as hell don’t want it for you. There are five other people I can call on if I absolutely need something. So please—for me—call your girl.”
When he still seemed hesitant after that, I lifted my eyebrows and had to ask, “You do like her, don’t you?”
After a quick cringe, I knew he didn’t, but he said, “Yeah, of course. I mean, she’s not Nova. But I gotta quit judging everyone by those standards. I need to move on, you know.”
Instinctively, I wanted to disagree. After meeting Faith and finally feeling that feeling, I didn’t think anyone should move on until they felt those same feelings for someone else again.
Except Thane’s ex, Nova, was supposedly engaged to someone else now, and I didn’t want my boy to be lonely anymore. So I nodded, softly answering, “Sure.”
But the more I thought about that dismal, hopeless look in his eyes as I finished breakfast and left his place to head toward the college for my last final of the semester, the more I realized fuck that.
I’d only felt that feeling once in my whole damn life. That made it special. Hell, that made it hallowed.
I needed to lock down my own lady.
So when I actually spotted her across the parking lot, heading toward a line of parked vehicles after I’d taken my last test and was heading out myself, I picked up my pace, jogging after her.
“Hey!” I called, wrapping my hands around my mouth to amplify my voice. “Stalker!”
It did my heart good when Faith immediately jarred to a halt and whirled around to look for me. The moment she spotted me, she started forward, stepping into the lane between parked cars.
“No. Don’t come any closer,” I warned her, lifting my hands to stop her there. “We can talk from this far apart. You probably don’t have anything to staunch a bloody nose right now.”
She slowed to a stop, following my advice, even as she shook her head in confusion. “What’re you even doing here?”
“I just finished my last final,” I said. “Now I’m done for the semester.” Lifting my hands in fake celebration, I finished with a fairly lame, “Yay.”
That only seemed to confound poor Faith more, however. “But…”
“I woke up feeling great,” I told her. “Fully rested, no exhaustion, no pain. Why shouldn’t I resume my everyday activities?”
She seemed to think that over before answering, “I guess there’s no reason to stop your life just because of…everything.”
“No reason at all,” I agreed with a big grin as I shoved my hands into my pockets and leaned against a parked car I was standing next to. “So how’s it going? You done with your finals too?”
“Yeah, I, uh…” She motioned around the parking lot. “I also just finished. I was heading home to hang out with Salem before I had to clock into work at five. Like usual.” She seemed bummed about that outlook before brightening and snapping her fingers. “Oh, but guess who called me this morning. Genesis.”
My eyebrows lifted. “No shit? What’d she want?”
“She must’ve deduced that I was behind getting her expelled because she said she was going to make me pay for what I’d done.”
“Ooh…” I waved my hands with fake shakes of terror. “You better watch out, Woods. She’s probably going to rip you apart on social media now.”
Faith rolled her eyes and scoffed. “I’d be shaking in my shoes, but the bitch stole them.”
I laughed. “Good one.” Only to sober abruptly and change the subject. “So I was talking to Eisner this morning,” I said.
Faith squinted over the topic change and tipped her head. “Okay…”
“Yeah, and he got laid last week. She was just some girl. I don’t know.” I fluttered out a hand to signify that the who wasn’t important. “And I’m pretty sure it was the first time he’d been with anyone in—fuck—years. But he hasn’t gone out with her again since then because, you know…me. And I told him. No. Fuck that. You call this girl. You continue living your life as if I’m not even losing mine.”
Faith’s eyes flooded with tears, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to contain her emotions before she dropped her fingers and nodded, rasping, “That was very noble advice.”
“Right? I don’t want any of my friends to put their world on hold just because of me. I could be stuck this way for—fuck—the rest of my whole damn life. That shouldn’t keep the ones I love most from getting to be whoever they are.”
“No,” she agreed, wiping tears off her cheeks. “It shouldn’t.”
“Not at all,” I affirmed with a shake of my head, only to wince. “Except then I thought of you.”
Faith clasped her hands together and brought them up to her mouth as if worried.
“It would be incredibly selfish of me to ask you to wait for something that may never happen, especially since you—you’re able to go out and be with literally anyone else without bleeding to death.”
“You know, you could also go out with anyone else but me,” she countered as she pulled her hands away from her mouth.
But I shook my head. “Except the only person I want is you.”
“Hudson,” she choked out, causing more tears to stream down her cheeks.
“Which means, I’m just going to be a selfish dick,” I went on. “And ask you to wait. So will you? Wait for me. At least for a while.”
“Yes,” she answered immediately. “I was going to, anyway, no matter what you asked.”
Hope swelled in my chest. I lifted my hand to shade my eyes from the blaring sunlight in order to see her face better. “You were?”
With a groan, she rolled her eyes. “Of course. I was faithful to you for two full years before I even knew your name. You’re not getting rid of me that easily now.”
“Even with all my baggage?” I countered.
“Hudson,” she said as if I was being ridiculous. “Just…shut up. I’m waiting for you.”
With a chuckle, I lifted my hands. “Okay, okay. So we’re doing this. We’ll have, like, a long-distance kind of relationship.”
She nodded, saying, “I can do that.”
“Right. Good.” I clasped my hands together and held them behind my head for a moment, not sure what to say now, only to realize—shit. “Oh hey,” I added. “You know the last two phone conversations we had?”
“Uh…” Furrowing her brow in complete bewilderment, she shook her head. “Yeah. Of course, I remember them. What about them?”
“Well… I kind of finished them both with the same phrase. You may recall.”
“I remember,” she repeated, her voice softening, eyes going all dewy and wet again.
“Good.” I nodded and sent her a thumbs-up. “So I just wanted you to know, when I said that both of those times?—”
“You were pretty much delusional and out of it, distracted by other things.” Faith nodded. “I know. You don’t have to explain.”
“But I do,” I insisted. “Because I don’t care if it was just delirium talking,” I said. “I don’t care if it was really true or not. At that moment, it’s what I felt, so I had to say it.” Hoping I remembered what she’d told me only a few days earlier, I finished copying her by saying, “Is that okay?”
Faith covered her mouth with both hands, and the tears really started to rain down her cheeks. I must’ve remembered her line well enough because she suddenly dropped her fingers and sobbed. “Yes. It’s okay.”
“Good.” I nodded. “Because I still feel that way today, too.”
“Oh my God, Hudson.” Waving her hands in front of her eyes in a fruitless attempt to dry them, she demanded, “What are you doing to me?”
“I’m trying to lock this thing down with you,” I answered with full honesty. “Because you’re mine, Stalker.”
“Of course, I’m yours,” was all she could answer between the flow of tears.
“And I’m yours, too,” I added. “And someday…” I shook my head because I really, really hoped someday was actually in the cards for us. “Someday, we’re going to?—”
But before I could finish the sentiment, squealing tires and a revving engine stole my attention.
I squinted against the blaring sunlight and lifted my hand to see better. But by the time I saw what was happening, it was too late. A familiar Porsche was barreling down the feeder lane, its crested hood ornament aimed right at Faith. And directly behind the wheel snarled a very vindictive-looking Genesis.
She hadn’t been lying when she’d promised Faith she would make her pay.
Horror and disbelief flared through me as I shouted, “Look out!”
I ran toward Faith to get her out of the direct line of fire.
But I was too late.