Chapter 37
Ronit
Istare up at the spot where she was just five days prior. We’re on the beach at the bottom of the cliffs, hoping. It was stupid. We’ve searched everywhere. We’ve called, we’ve divided and hunted. She’s just gone.
What happened?
There’s a fear, a crushing, terrible fear inside me, and I have never been afraid like this before, not before any battle or fight, not in the oceans, not here.
But I am afraid now.
I am the leader of this shiver. I’m supposed to know how to fix everything. There is no answer to this. I am lost, and I have never been lost before.
I am Ronit, the warrior, the leader. I am never lost.
Without her, what am I?
We did her wrong, so wrong, and all the confidence in the world that we could fix it didn’t make it so. She was the only person who never deserved any of it, and we have brought nothing but agony on her.
We hurt her. Over and over.
We don’t deserve her, but I can’t find it in me to walk away. I will keep fighting for her. As long as there is water in the oceans.
“MEI!” Leaf howls again. He’s only been back for minutes, but his hope vanishing as his dragon form bursts through. He plunges into the ocean, disappearing from view, but I know he’s not going to find her. She’s going to be as far away from the ocean as she can get.
“She hates us,” Brio whispers. “I don’t blame her.”
Lirin punches him in the arm. “She doesn’t hate us. She didn’t mean it. It's not over!” he shouts frantically.
Canto is sitting in the sand, and as I watch, a tear slides down his cheek. He’s crying? I have never seen him cry before these last couple of days.
My own throat thickens painfully, and I have to turn away from him before I, too, succumb to the despair that’s been dogging me day and night.
I scrub my hand through my hair, yanking on it, hoping the pain will bring clarity. She’s in heat. Again. The scent is still lingering. She’s choosing pain over us.
She left us.
We’ll be gone at sunset. We only have today. Just a few more hours left.
The things she said, the rage and emotions in her. How could we have ever thought she was just an animal? Perhaps we should have been honest up front, perhaps we should have told her sooner. It never seemed like the right time.
Diablos and Stix are talking, and the sounds of them are annoying me.
I slam a wave into them and wash them away from us.
Reed alone is standing emotionless, rigid.
“Reed?”
“Don’t you see what she’s doing?” he snarls.
We all turn to him, studying his bleak expression.
“She heard us. She heard us talking. All of it, she had to have. She knows about the deal we made with Deux. Mei knows about the deal we made with Diablos. She won’t forgive us. I wouldn’t.”
The fear deepens, opening up a pit inside me.
She’s gone.
“She loves us,” I growl. “She will forgive us.”
“WHY?” he roars. “Why would she?”
I have no answer, just a hope that I cling to. She is gone.
“No!” I whisper in a rush. “She’s not gone. We have time.”
“She’s gone, Ronit!” Lirin screams. “She’s our mate. I told you.”
I stare at him. “Yes, I know.” And I do. All the denials in the world won’t change the truth now.
Lirin screams and rushes me, shoving me hard in the chest. “She’s. Our. Mate. We were wrong.”
I clutch the back of his neck, bringing our foreheads together. “I know. Hush, Lirin. I know.”
“Did you feed her?” Stix asks loudly.
I turn on the Nightmare King.
“Did you feed her? Did she eat from your hands?”
I think back. “Yeah, what of it?”
“In our world, monsters claim mates through feeding. Not all of us, but a lot.”
The world narrows down to a crystal-clear focus. I walk to the ocean and step into it.
“Leviathan!” My call summons him back.
He comes fighting me the whole way. The waves slam into me, but I am an immovable rock.
I look up at him, his furious, grief-filled face.
“You fed us,” I snap.
His eyes sharpen.
“Did we…are we your mates?” Why is it so hard to ask the question?
The dragon nods his head. “Mine. Ours. Hers.”
My head reels. It was my arrogance. My foolish blindness.
I reach out and grab the collar around his throat and rip it free. He staggers and grips my wrist before I can stop him.
“Why?” he whispers.
I can’t stop him anymore. This is the Leviathan, and we have had him chained, and he’s been…ours.
“Because I don’t want to make you anymore,” I say to him, staring into the teal swirling eyes. His hair is wet from the ocean and drips from where it hangs limply.
I try to bring back the same prejudices that I grew up with, but they just don’t fit right.
“We’re not Fae,” I admit.
Leaf reaches out and grabs the back of my neck, echoing the exact way I held Lirin just moments ago.
“We’re Sirens. Something different. We aren’t the same. We are monsters,” I whisper into the dragon's mouth.
He stares into my eyes. Pride, purpose, and this ancient knowledge burning deep.
He loves me. I can feel it. So deeply. I step into him, sliding my hand up his chest, before I stand on my tiptoes and sink my teeth deep into his flesh.
The bond is selfish, but it’s going to take all of us to find her in time. We will figure it out. Leaf knows what he’s doing.
Leaf grunts but doesn’t fight me. As soon as I pull back, he tugs my head to the side and sinks his teeth into my neck.
The bond, the impossible bond, flares up like cold water filling a room. His strength is immense.
“You are mine now, Siren,” he says. “I won’t ever let you go.”
There is a comfort and relief to be his. To hear his declaration.
“Yes. I am.”
There are no regrets. Not about this.
I turn away as he goes to Reed. One by one, they open bonds until we are all merged. Until there is a circle of openness inside us. Shared energy, shared purpose.
“Well, this is all very romantic and cute, but there’s something you should know,” Diablos says tartly.
“Oh?”
“Mei is one of us, and by us, I mean, my kind. Part of her, anyway. That’s how she has the runes and the magic.”
“We know, we spoke to someone about it. Her father is Death. What of it?”
Diablos blinks. “Yes, but Deux isn’t a Nightmare either, not anymore.”
I stare at the demon. “What is Deux, then?” I ask, feeling my resolve harden.
“He is not one of us. He was something from Nightmare, but I think by eating people, he has ingested their magic,” Stix theorizes. “He is changed.”
“We need to find her, she’s vulnerable,” Reed mutters. “I don’t care about the Nightmare.”
Stix shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know how to help you; she is the most elusive of creatures. The only time she ever appeared when you wanted her was if you called her.”
“Call her?”
Not with words, but with a song. A summons.
I turn to Brio, but he’s one step ahead of me. He opens his mouth and starts singing. Canto and Reed join in.
I turn back to the others. “Our deal, Diablos.”
“Void.”
“Good.” I hesitate. “Thank you.”
“What are you going to do?” Diablos asks.
“I’m going to find my Strega,” I mutter. “Make sure she’s happy here, Di. Please, don’t return her to Nightmare. Keep her safe, give her time, she will surprise you.”
He shuts his mouth with a click and bows slightly. “I will, Siren. Happy hunting.”
I open my mouth and join the song, and a beat later, Leaf does the same.
Our song enters the world, speaking to her, demanding her, coaxing her. Tendrils spread everywhere.
The others disappear, but we stand there in the ocean, sending our song out into the world. Listening for just one flicker.
Just one.
And then we catch it.
It’s not a flicker.
It’s a scream of pain.
Mei is screaming.
Leviathan rips open the gate to the Black Death Ocean. We dive in.