23
Rainn’s lips warp through heavy tears. “I can’t believe you.”
She storms out after her big brother. But where Noah disappeared, Rainn takes a sharp turn, dashing past the windows down our side of the restaurant. Her shoulders shake as she trudges home with heavy stomps of her black boots.
When I turn around, Lilian looks like she aged ten years: cheekbones hollow and eyebrows contorted in sorrow.
I want to charge after Noah, but what Lilian said was personal. “I wasn’t there either! Did I kill my dad too by not going with him to lunch that day?”
Lilian’s eyes bulge. “Wait, what?”
“Ritchie and my dad were shot by a hunter, not Noah!” I suppress furious tears, my breath hitching. “Are you trying to kill Noah next? Because that’s all you’re doing by blaming him for it!”
“You’re Takahiro’s daughter?” Lilian’s eyes widen in horror, but I don’t stop to give her another thought.
I’m already sweating as I sprint out the door, Noah’s pain rippling through our bond and burning my heart. He’s fast, and he could be anywhere. Where would a wolf escape to?
Outside the restaurant, I veer for the forest. My chest clenches painfully tight; he’s nowhere to be seen. I try what I’ve seen Noah and other wolves do - sniffing the air for clues - but I still can’t trace scents like they can. Lilian’s words echo in my mind - I really am an outsider.
But I care about Noah, and he needs someone, outsider or not.
Where did you go?I mindlink Noah.
Even as I sprint deep into the forest’s mass of trees, Noah doesn’t respond.
That’s right, Lilian mentioned Noah shuts down around whatever this trauma is. He probably doesn’t mindlink either. But I’m sure he could still hear me, right?
Noah, I’d never dream of blaming you for this! I’m so, so sorry you had to hear those awful words.
A sudden tugging in my chest urges me to follow it.
Mate,he mindlinks. Except it’s more of a feeling than the word itself, a concept I’ve never had to notice within my own thoughts until they joined with someone else’s. Noah must be 100% wolf brain right now.
I chase the tugging sensation toward him, so focused on him that I don’t notice the roots beneath me until I smack straight into the dirt. The impact steals the air in my burning lungs, freezing my diaphragm in place. After a few grueling seconds, I can cough my lungs back into working.
God, I’m such a mess. Always tripping and falling, even at work - making a fool of myself in front of important people who already think I’m incompetent just because I’m an anxious, young woman. I stumble back to my feet with a wince. Noah’s mood only darkens, so I break into a sprint.
I know my opinion might not seem significant compared to your mom’s awful judgment. But I just met you, and you’re already so important to me. You’re–
I forget everything I’m trying to say when I spot a wolf in the distance.
Now that my wolf has surfaced more than ever, my internal alarm rings from the stranger wolf’s posture alone. The thready heartbeat pumping through my ears sinks into background noise as my senses hone in on the wolf.
After hunching into the bushes, my muscles freeze still.
Noah, there’s another wolf.
The tug I feel in our bond surges with Noah’s urgency, but I’m too afraid to move. Scents become so overpowering that I envision them as colors, whispering through the forest like smoke.
This wolf must think I’m an outsider, unmarked by Noah’s scent that would verify my place in the pack. Running isn’t an option; I know better than to do what I did last time and make this wolf chase me. But if Noah isn’t nearby, this wolf is close enough to attack, no matter how quickly Noah finds me.
Hunkering into myself to appear smaller, I back away as slowly as I can with my eyes locked on the wolf. With every step I retreat, the wolf takes one forward.
After three steps, they exit the shadows. I stiffen, absorbing every second of their brown fur shining red in the sunlight. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a wolf with a brown coat before, but I also don’t know how common they are among Lycans.
But a little voice in the back of my mind won’t leave me alone: is this the same wolf that attacked Noah the day we met? No, it can’t be, right?
My stomach sinks. Either way, they mirror my movements, recognizing me as a threat. The more I retreat, the more this wolf will want to corner me. Maybe I should act like I belong here. Claim my space.
I freeze in place, standing my ground. Remaining as still as possible, I soften my breath.
The quieter I stay, the more my senses heighten. Every brush of leaves sounds like skittering bugs across my skin, bristling the tiny hairs across my body. There are so many scents at once that my head throbs with each heartbeat until I’m nauseous. My wolf stirs more than I’ve ever felt her, my eyesight warping as she demands control.
Oh, God. I feel weird.
Noah, something is wrong with me.
My gut flip-flops with every pounding heartbeat as the feeling only gets worse.
The tingling starts in my fingers. I raise my hands and find my nails stretching and sharpening. I resist the urge to shriek, shaking out my fingers and shoving my wolf down, down, down.
Is this what shifting feels like? No, I don’t like this. I don’t feel like myself.
But then the wolf in the distance moves. Slow, creeping paws lift one by one, easing back into the forest ground cover without a single sound.
Until the wolf startles: something draws their attention deeper into the forest. Their eyes widen, locking onto whatever they find. When they sprint away for their life, I follow their gaze, my teeth chattering with fear.
A black wolf stalks through the forest. His entrance silences every bird, bug, and squirrel in the vicinity.
My heart drops when I see my mate. He carries his massive form more menacing than ever, hanging his head low with rolling shoulders. But I can feel him aching - his tense, frothing snarl is a fearful cover-up.
“Noah,” I whisper. His ears twitch, halting him in place.
I run to him, scrambling over tree roots as his ears slink back. As I throw my arms around his snout, he catches my full weight, closing his eyes to my touch.
Our bond sparks with a shred of comfort. But when Noah lets out a soft, pained whine, I feel sick.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
Noah’s huff blasts my legs with hot air. Then I’m in the air, laying on his snout.
“Noah!?”
My yelp becomes a laugh as Noah’s limp tail gives a soft wag. When he places me back on my feet, he nudges my hand to get me to follow him.
Guiding me through the forest, Noah pads alongside me with rotating ears, capturing every minor sound. To my ears, it’s remained silent since he appeared.
But that was freaky earlier. I felt so threatened that everything was so much louder. Was that adrenaline, or was that really my wolf?
Noah side-eyes me, and I give him a sad smile. When he side-eyes me again only five seconds later, trying to pretend like he’s not staring, I laugh.
He tilts his head like a perplexed puppy, his big ears perking up, and I laugh harder.
“You’re so cute, Noah.”
His ears slink back, but the giddiness in our bond tells me he’s pleased to be seen no matter how shy he feels. But as we continue to walk in silence, his ears droop all the way down again.
He’s still hurting. I want him to know why I’d never blame him like his mom does; it doesn’t even make sense, considering what I was told about Ritchie’s death.
“Noah, I know our situations aren’t exactly the same, but I used to find a way to blame myself for their deaths too. Until I realized it just didn’t make sense. I didn’t pull the trigger, so...”
Noah’s paws slow, his chin lowering in alarm as he stands straighter.
I study his hulking wolf, struggling to figure out what I said to make him look so confused. Then I suck in a horrified breath.
Noah doesn’t know who my father is. If Amy didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t have known who Noah’s dad was either. I’ve only called my parents “Mom and Dad,” and every photo I own of them is tucked away from when it was too raw to see them smiling on the walls.
Noah’s wolf stare makes my heart race more than usual, but it’s even worse when he’s so intent on my next words. If I don’t explain this in a sensitive way, he might blame himself for my dad’s death too.
“Our dads were close. Which I knew, but I never knew Ritchie had a son, or that he was a Lycan.” I swallow, bracing myself for what I’m about to say. “My dad was shot and killed too. Otherwise, I wouldn’t want to act like I understood how you feel.”
Noah’s ears stiffen higher than I’ve ever seen them. My heart rate spikes.
I grip my arm, afraid I haven’t said enough. “I can explain better once we get to where we’re supposed to be going. I’m a little anxious out here after almost getting attacked.”
He nuzzles my palm in reassurance before guiding me between two massive boulders. Once we dip to greet the other side of the rock formations, the trees grow tighter and thicker, blanketing the hilly forest for miles like evergreen snow.
I hike in antsy silence, replicating Noah’s footsteps. Everywhere else is overgrown and wild, but he’s left a small trail in the ground. I wonder how often he visits.
The trees part, revealing one of three forest rivers. I’m mesmerized by the river’s serenity in this section.
“Noah, this entire place is so gorgeous.”
I turn back to where he last was to realize I’ve lost sight of him - which feels impossible, considering he’s massive. Just before I call out his name, his sulking, black head pops out from between a small inlet of rock, patiently waiting for me. I round the inlet to find a wide, dark den, tucked into the hillside.
I gasp. Is this a pack den? No, it’s too empty.
A gust of wind scoops out a familiar wash of scent to greet me: a sweet, contemplative smell that sends goosebumps from my neck to my thighs. This is Noah’s den, and his rising nervousness tells me this is a deeply personal gesture.