Chapter 44
Note: This is the beginning of the no HEA ending. If you want the HEA ending, go to chapter 44B and finish from there.
Jayce
As I stared at her for long minutes, I felt more afraid than I ever had. Alicia wasn’t supposed to be up yet and she certainly wasn’t supposed to come down here. She must’ve been looking for us. Maybe she’d heard Alana scream or us arguing. I could only be grateful that she hadn’t been hurt, but I shouldn’t have given Alana the gun. Even though she couldn’t do any damage with it, convincing Alicia that nothing was wrong would be a feat. If she told anyone about what she’d seen, it could cause problems, especially when it came to the adoption. Her aunt aiming a gun at her uncle was not what the courts wanted to hear.
“Alana,” I repeated firmly. “We need to go back upstairs.”
She was a disaster. We needed to go back upstairs and figure all of this out. If I threw her over my shoulder, I didn’t know if it would make things worse. Maybe I could sedate her. There was a syringe in the cabinet behind her. I didn’t want to rush her and make her afraid of me right now.
Moving forward, I tentatively reached out. When she didn’t stop me, I cupped her face.
“Everything’s okay. Let’s figure this out together.”
Her brow furrowed. “She’ll be terrified of me.”
“No. She won’t even know you pulled the trigger.”
“I don’t want to scare her. I want…”
“What do you want, baby? Talk to me.”
“To be with you.”
The statement made me smile. “You are with me. We’ll always be together. I promise.”
Finally, her face relaxed a little. The change in her eyes made me feel better. She broke for a moment, but she was going to be okay. I’d put her back together. That was always the plan.
Steps on the stairs made me turn. They didn’t sound like Alicia’s- they were too heavy. When I heard more of them, my heart began to race. Alana backed up toward the wall, the fear evident on her face as she clutched the gun to her chest tightly.
I held my hand up. “It’s okay, Alana.”
Men with guns raised appeared in the doorway. I swore and took a step to the side to shield Alana.
“Drop the weapon!” they demanded.
Fuck. I turned to Alana with pleading eyes. “Hey, let’s do what they said, okay? Hand it to me.”
When I tried to pry it away, she wouldn’t budge and the struggle just made them yell louder. They repeated the order, but she didn’t move. She must’ve been in shock after everything. I kept a hand raised to tell the officers to wait. They adjusted their aim instead.
“No,” I shouted. “It’s okay. She’s not gonna do anything. There aren’t any bullets in it.”
“Drop the fucking gun!”
Tears streamed down her face. Her breaths had become panicked and the acceptance I’d seen in her eyes earlier had morphed back into something that was too dangerous for our current situation.
“Alana…” I ventured as I got closer.
As if she’d just noticed me, she jerked and drew the gun away from her chest. I lunged forward to take it just before a shot went off behind me. Pain erupted in my shoulder and made me stumble. I managed to grab the gun from her and tossed it to the side.
“It’s fine,” I told the officers. “She wasn’t going to fucking do anything. God damnit.”
I watched one of them take the gun from the floor. With that out of the way, I turned back to Alana.
“No,” I breathed.
She slid down the wall, holding her hand against her neck. Everything stopped in that moment. All I could see was the blood and the look on her face. Her eyes were wide with terror and pain. When she pulled her hand away, more blood poured from the wound.
“No, no, no,” I said, pulling her closer. I tried to stop the bleeding with my hand, but it just kept coming. Even slowed as it tore through my shoulder, the bullet had done so much damage. “Baby, look at me. Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
Her head shook the slightest amount. When she met my eyes, she was no longer crying.
“I…” She choked and blood spilled out of her mouth. “I don’t want to… die.”
“I know. I know. You just have to breathe, okay? Someone will be here soon and they’ll fix it. They’re gonna fix it, baby.”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t… mean…”
“Shh. I did this. It’s my fault.”
One thing I’d learned about death was that it isn’t peaceful. The movies show someone slipping away on their last breath, then their eyes close. It was actually horrifically different than that in most cases.
“Sir, we need you to move.”
I shook my head, furious that they’d even tell me that. My palm pressed more firmly against Alana’s neck. Her blood painted my hands red, just like others had for her sake. It was all for her. It always was. But it led to this, so what had I actually accomplished? Wouldn’t I rather her be alive, even if I didn’t get to have her? No, I was selfish. I’d rather us both die than let her leave me.
“She’ll be okay,” I insisted. “She’s fine. It’s fine.”
“Sir.”
“No!” I shouted before I pulled her against my chest. She was weak and tired. Just weak and tired. “Alana, baby, wake up. You’re okay, you’re okay.”
I clutched her more tightly and began to rock back and forth. The way my body shuddered almost made it feel like she was moving. She was going to move again. She had to.
“We’re gonna go to Greece just like you want. We’re going to swim, touch all of the sculptures we’re not supposed to, and explore every cave they have. We’ll go hiking, even though you have terrible coordination and will probably sprain an ankle. I’ll carry you the whole time. I’ll always carry you. Do they have dolphins in Greece? We’ll find some, baby. I promise we’ll see everything you want.
“You’ll look so beautiful in those blue waters,” I went on. “I’ll take so many pictures. Not of the scenery; just of you. I never get tired of looking at you, baby. I just want you to smile for me and let me hear you talk. I want to listen to you talk forever. Please talk to me. I need to hear your voice.” Burying my face in her hair, I released a choked, pained sound. “Please talk to me. Please, please, please.”
“Medical is here,” one of the officers said.
“Sir, we need to have you checked out and we need you to tell us what happened.”
“You shot her,” I said. “You fucking shot her and she wasn’t going to hurt anyone.”
“We couldn’t know that, sir.”
“The gun was empty! Fuck!”
Someone took my arm and I shrugged them away. When they tried it again, I struck at them. The pain in my shoulder flared and it gave them the chance to thrust me onto my stomach. My hands were cuffed behind my back and no matter how hard I flailed, I couldn’t get free. The way my cheek was resting against the floor gave me a view of Alana. She was on her side with her hair covering most of her face. One of the paramedics crouched beside her to check for a pulse. I closed my eyes, unable to see them confirm it.
I couldn’t… I just couldn’t…
A couple months ago, I said there were two ways things could go. Both ended with me having Alana. There were no other options. But there was. No matter how much control I thought I had over the situation, something happened that I hadn’t planned for. She’d been taken from me. I had her, but now she was gone.
*****
After thinking about it while I healed in the hospital, I realized where I’d gone wrong. Jake. I should’ve just taken her from him before they fell in love. It would’ve worked. The day he brought her home, I should’ve shut that entire thing down. I’d waited too long. It was the act of a coward to give her a chance to be happy with him. I always intended to take her, so why did I wait so long?
It was my love for my brother. That never should’ve mattered, but I agonized over it because I knew that in order to have her, he had to die. The me that existed now, here in this hospital bed, wouldn’t hesitate. I’d been more hands off about it when I killed him. In the midst of the flames, I watched him blink out of existence, but now… Now, I would wrap my fingers around his throat and crush the life out of him. And then, I’d tell Alana. We would have dealt with it. I would’ve shown her who I was immediately and nobody would have the chance to ruin it.
I couldn’t bring myself to be angry at Alicia for calling the police. She’d come downstairs and saw Alana pointing a gun at me. It should’ve gone through my mind that she would do that, but I’d only been concerned with keeping Alana from spiraling and dealing with Alicia together. It was supposed to be fine. The gun wasn’t fucking loaded. It should’ve been fine .
I didn’t know how to explain it to the cops, but I’d spun a story on the spot. I refused to let them think she was some villain. Alicia saw wrong. I’d been showing Alana my gun because she wanted to learn how to use it after she’d been threatened by Mike. It wasn’t loaded and she was feeling out its weight. When the cops showed up, she had flashbacks of when Mike tried to attack her. What happened was their fault and I made sure that everybody knew it.
It didn’t really matter in the end. To them, she’d fucked up by not complying with their demands. Sure, she wasn’t the bad guy, but they still blamed her and that pissed me the fuck off.
Could I manage to kill all of the officers that had been on the scene? Probably not, but maybe. I could play the long game and pick them off slowly. None of them should have the luxury of surviving after what they’d done to her. They’d stolen from me and that wasn’t something I’d ever forgive. I wanted nothing more than to join Alana in whatever afterlife she’d found, but I had to do this first. I had a purpose for now. When it was complete, I’d find her. I would always find her. I promised her forever and she’d asked for no more lies.
The door opened and I saw Charlie’s face. She looked timid, probably afraid of my mental state. That was smart. I’d thought about killing every nurse and doctor who came in here. Instead of acknowledging her, I rolled toward the window, even though it hurt my shoulder. Maybe it’d fuck up the stitches. I had plans of revenge, but if something like blood loss killed me, I wouldn’t complain.