Chapter 20
I knew I had to be going crazy. There is no logical explanation as to why I was lost in the dark and could suddenly see. The moon was strong and visibility improved. It felt like the light was specifically following me. I have gone crazy.
“MIRA, MIRA” I could hear my name being shouted from quite a distance away because the voices were muffled.
“I’m here” I shouted. I kept calling out to them until Jasper came running at me and hugged me to his chest.
“Holy shit, I’ve been freaking out. Where were you?” he rambled out. “I don’t know. I got lost” I hugged him back tightly.
“Devran got back like twenty minutes ago into town and when I asked where you were he freaked out and said you should’ve been here by now. It’s weird we couldn’t track your scent” I saw the furrow of his brow when I tipped my head up to look at him.
“You’ve been crying,” he said, wiping at my tear stained cheeks. “Oh Mira, thank god” Grace and Melanie came running over. Mel ripped me away from Jasper and hugged me tight.
“What happened? Tell us everything” she asked. I shook my head no. “Not tonight, I..I really need a minute” I said, pulling away from her.
It wasn’t just about Devran. It was Devran, it was the flashbacks of my family, it was being lost, it was that strange occurrence in the woods. It was too much.
I hugged Jasper to me again and asked if he’d take me home. He wrapped an arm around me and walked us back to the village where more of our friends came running over once they realized I was found.
“Should someone go tell Dev?” Diego asked.
“No,” I blurted out, “leave him to his own mess.” With that statement I pulled Jasper away from everyone and continued into the house.
“Mira, I can see something is really wrong. Did he hurt you?” his jaw tightened at the thought of it.
“It’s not what you think” I shook my head. “Just give me a minute, okay” I pushed my hair out of my face and sighed. “I’m going to change clothes,” I told him, going into the bedroom and closing the door.
“Wait, Trevor..How is he?” I shouted through the door. “He’s fine. He’s healing up. Everyone is confused as fuck as to what went down today but I have a theory.” Before he could say anymore I had finished changing and opened the door.
“Don’t, I can’t handle any more tonight. Whatever your thinking just please keep it to yourself” I tied my hair up. Jasper made me tell him the whole story, so I did. Everything from the fight we had to what came after.
“I can’t explain it...I could just see” I reiterated. “Do you think I’m losing my mind or what?” I asked.
“There are a lot of reasons why that could’ve happened. We don’t have to figure them all out tonight. You’re exhausted” he patted my leg.
“Will you sleep over? I just need to feel safe tonight. Things stirred up for me today and I’m feeling” I got cut off.
“Hey, you don’t need to explain it. Doesn’t matter why, I’ll stay regardless” he assured me.
“Okay thanks” I sighed in relief. I gave him some of Nealin jr. sweatpants and a t-shirt to sleep in and we both curled up on the bed and passed out.
-
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I jumped up from the bed expecting for a moment to be back at my mom’s house. But I wasn’t there. I was in my own house now. A borrowed house but still, mom and Greg and all Greg’s shitty friends, they weren’t here.
“The hell?” a groggy Jasper woke up.
“Mira, are you in there?” a deep voice shouted from outside my front door.
“He’s gotta be fucking kidding me” I hissed. “I’ll handle it” Jasper got out of the bed, but I stopped him.
“No, I’ve been complacent enough. I need to start standing up for myself” I looked him in the eye and he knew what I meant. He just stayed quiet and let me exit the bedroom.
With a second loud knock I swung open the front door.
“Fucking hell, I’ve been searching the goddamn forest for you for hours! I told someone to link me if you were found” he came barreling in.
“Get out of my house” I simply stated.
“Excuse me?” his voice got tight.
“You heard me, get out. You are the one who left me alone in the middle of the woods in the fucking dark in the first place. Now you wanna act like you were worried about me? Get real” I dismissed him.
“I didn’t think we were as far off as we’d gotten. I thought you’d find your way back” he defended himself. “Well I didn’t” I hissed.
“Well clearly you did if you’re here now” he snapped back. “Yeah, Jasper came to my rescue. As always. Now get out” I pointed to the door.
“Mira” he said, tone unreadable.
“I don’t wanna hear it. You told me you don’t give a shit about me, right? That I’m human trash? Well then get the fuck out. Leave me alone” my voice cracked at the end but I held out strong.
He took two steps forward to close the distance between us but I pushed him back. “No!”
He looked shocked. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a breath of frustration.
“Damnit Mira, I just ran the woods for over two hours looking for you. Can I have a goddamn second” he asked of me.
“Well nobody asked you to do that. You can ask yourself why you even bothered” I pointed out. He got defensive right away.
“I’m Alpha, it’s my responsibility to my pack” he started, but I cut him off. “Thing is, I’m human. I’m not interested in being in your pack under your rule. You have zero responsibility for me. Leaving me alone and pretending I don’t exist will be enough.”
His chest started moving more rapidly. He was angry. “If you aren’t a part of my pack then you aren’t living here” he snapped. I decided to call his bluff.
“Fine! If you want me to leave the village I will. You aren’t the first bully in my life and I doubt you’ll be the last. I’ve been threatened, harassed, called worse names, and beaten. You think you can ruin me but you can’t!! I was already ruined” I screamed.
I didn’t know where that came from but I realized the truth of it after I said it. His demeanor changed. “Who beat you?” he asked, keying in on the violence. Of course he would.
“You don’t know shit about me Devran. You don’t know what I’ve had to deal with before coming here. This became a safe haven for me until you showed up” I answered honestly.
He turned away from me for a second. I don’t know if it was to regain his control or what. He cursed under his breath and faced me again.
“Look,” he started, but I didn’t care to listen. “Do you want me to leave or not? I need to know so I can pack my shit. I’ll be gone before you even wake up” I threatened now.
“No” he snapped.
“No what?” I took back the power.
“No, you aren’t leaving” he gritted out.
“Great, fantastic. Now get out of my house, Alpha” I said the word like it was an insult. When a small shuffling could be heard in the bedroom Devran paused.
“Whose in there?” he asked, brows furrowed. “None of your business” I told him straight out. He didn’t listen to me. Instead he swung open my bedroom door. I started yelling at him but he didn’t listen.
“What the fuck is Jasper doing here? Are you sleeping together?” Devran turned around and I gasped at his eyes. They were lighting up a red color like when he was shifted as a wolf.
“Dev, chill” Jasper walked over with his hands up. “What is that? Why are his eyes glowing?” I asked. “Uh, he’s about to wolf out” Jasper scratched the back of his head unsure what to do.
My eyes went wide. “Not in my house you’re not, wolf out outside” I pointed to the door. He just walked closer to me and stared me down while his large body towered over my own.
“Are you sleeping with him?” he asked again, a calm tone but his eyes gave him away. They still glowed. “No, man” Jasper tried answering but it was as if Jasper was no longer in the room. He didn’t react to a single thing he said he only watched me.
“I know you don’t want me touching your guys. I’m trash, I know” I answered him. “Mira, don’t push him right now” Jasper warned.
“No, I am not sleeping with Jasper. I’m not sleeping with anyone. I’m a virgin” I informed him. His hand came up and cupped my face for a second before he quickly removed it.
“I want him to leave,” Devran told me. He wouldn’t even address his own friend he was telling me instead. “No, he’s staying over for a reason” I shook my head in disagreement.
“And what reason is that?” he gritted out. “I was upset and feeling unsafe. Jasper makes me feel safe” I answered honestly.
“So can I” he snapped then turned his head and inhaled a breath like he didn’t mean to say those words.
“You’re the source of my fear, not my comfort” I spat out. His eyes glowed again. He clenched his fists tight and rolled his jaw. Turning away from me he paced back and forth across my living room floor.
“Dev...go outside and catch your breath huh?” Jasp recommended.
“Seriously Mira, he could be dangerous if he flips too hard,” Jasper whispered to me. “Flips too hard? What does that mean?” I asked. “When we shift we are equal parts human to wolf, but flip too hard and you become more your wolf than your human. A wolf with no human consciousness” he warned.
“Dev please don’t turn into a wolf in my living room. Please” I pleaded at this point. “Make him leave” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “For fucks sake. Jasp?” I asked. He shook his head and exhaled a long breath.
“Yeah, alright Dev. I’m leaving” he said, throwing his hands up in surrender. Once he shut the front door Devran turned to me.
“You don’t understand anything” he said to me with no other context as to what he was referring to. “Understand what?” I asked. My tone was neutral because his eyes hadn’t returned to normal yet. He just shook his head, he didn’t respond.
“What happened out in those woods? You’re different” he asked suddenly. “I’m just finally standing up for myself” I told him.
“Your scent was gone, untraceable. Something had to have happened or I would’ve been able to track you” he continued. I remember Jasper saying the same thing but I had no answer for them.
“I...I don’t know. I just cried my eyes out and stumbled around the forest until I was found. There’s nothing else to be said” I shrugged.
“You said you came here already ruined. What does that mean? What happened to you before?” he asked suddenly. “That’s personal” I shook my head no.
“But Jasper knows, doesn’t he?” He challenged me. “Yes, he does. Because he’s earned the right to know” I retorted confidently.
“I’m, I’m not well. Something’s going on with me, with my wolf” he admitted.
Off instinct, I walked over to Devran and held both sides of his face so his eyes could focus on mine. They were still glowing a scary red but I looked into them anyways. He placed his hands over my own and kept them there while I stared into his eyes.
Slowly the light dimmed down and the ring of dark blue surrounding his otherwise crystalized eyes resurfaced. His eyes fluttered shut and he released a breath.
“What’d you just do?” he asked as I pulled my hands away. “I have no idea” I shrugged. “I felt...calm. Come back” he said grabbing my hand and placing it back on his face.
“Y-your, your physical touch...I don’t understand. It’s calming me” he looked into my eyes confused. We stood there for a moment in silence with my hand cupping his face and his hand over mine to keep me there.
“Devran, it’s time for you to go.”