Chapter 19
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We spend most of the day on my parents’ property, and Roo helps me feed the chickens and the goats. Then we head down to the creek for a swim that lasts all of two minutes before we race back to the house to thaw out.
It’s exactly like it used to be.
Except for one thing. All the casual touches I’ve always taken for granted make Roo tense up.
Clearly, something’s going on with him. That bullshit rule about kissing, and now not wanting to touch … I’m starting to worry I’ve ruined things between us. It’s the last thing I’d wanted when I brought up experimenting, but maybe I was right in the first place. Maybe this is too weird for him.
It’s not his fault it feels so fucking right to me.
Jules is having a few people over for dinner, so when we leave my parents’ place, we go home and get changed before heading over.
I love visiting her and Mitch at home. The old cottage is small and warm, and they’re slowly turning it into something that suits them both to a tee.
It’s what I want to do someday. To have my own little setup and a job that benefits the town. Maybe they’re not big goals, not like Roo and seeing the world, but they’re mine.
“You both made it!” Jules says as soon as she opens the door.
“Well, you purposely made sure to schedule it on my night off, so I didn’t have an excuse.”
She flicks a dish towel at me. “Act like you don’t miss me all you want. I know the truth.”
I pull her into a one-armed hug and kiss the side of her head. Then she grabs Roo and hugs him too. Mitch is in the kitchen and offers us both a beer while he checks whatever he’s cooking in the oven.
“Not long now guys,” he assures us. There’s noise in the next room before Leon, Circus, and Dahlia walk in.
I say hi and turn my attention on Jules. “No Rafe and Laura tonight?”
She purses her lips. “Not tonight.”
Code for they’re fighting. Again. High-school sweethearts sounds like a great idea in theory, but those two have just as many cold days as warm. To me, that kind of relationship doesn’t seem worth it.
When I settle down, it’ll be with someone I truly like, someone I can have fun with. The love will be the bonus on top of that.
My attention drifts to where Roo’s standing on the other side of the brand-new kitchen island, talking to Circus.
Circus laughs and nudges him, and I’m not a fan of the way the small action makes me frown. They’ve been friends since junior year of high school, when our group really started to form and strengthen, and as far as I know, nothing has ever happened between them.
But, now that I know they both swing that way, and knowing that Roo never knew about me and Piper, it makes me suspicious. Maybe there was something there I was never aware of—they’ve certainly fallen back into a close friendship pretty easily.
Okay, these thoughts aren’t helping anyone.
I take another sip of my beer and turn to Leon to talk to him about how his construction business is going.
He tells me about helping Mitch put the cabinetry into the kitchen, and how they’re making plans to rip out the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom in the next few weeks.
The conversation keeps my interest, and I focus on how he takes me through the process step by step, drinking in anything I can use in the future.
Of course, when I actually get to the point of having a house and doing the work, Leon will jump at the chance to help out, but like Mitch, I want to do as much of it as I can.
My jealousy is long forgotten when Roo joins us and immediately moves close to my side. I bump my head against his shoulder from where I’m sitting on the stool, and catch Circus’s eye. He doesn’t look pissed off, or jealous like I’d been before, which helps to loosen the knot in my chest.
Circus pumps his eyebrows in my direction, and I shake my head, trying to convey my usual just friends message that I swear I’ll have to knock into him some day.
But …
I mean, yeah, that’s all we ever were, but we’re hooking up now. Or at least, we did last night. And this morning. Does that change things?
Roo said he doesn’t want me kissing him whenever, but it’s still okay when I’m “experimenting,” so that has to mean he’s down for more. Right?
Right?
Oh no, I’ve started thinking, and now I’ve gone and got myself all confused. Maybe the not-being-able-to-read thing is a small part of me like Roo said, but in moments like this, I swear my dumbass side is trying to take over.
I need to stop getting ahead of myself.
I have Roo back. Shouldn’t that be enough?
Dinner helps me relax, which really isn’t hard when I’m surrounded by some of my favorite people. Jules and Mitch are the perfect hosts, and Circus and Leon keep us entertained with random stories from the last few weeks.
Then Jules turns to Roo. “Have you started thinking about what you’re going to do for work?”
“Ah …” He shifts in his chair beside me. “Not really.”
“Well, you’ve been here for a few weeks now; you don’t want to leave it too long.”
Circus leans forward. “Have you even decided if you want to stay yet?” His gray eyes flick toward me. “No point getting a job if you’re going to move again.”
Jules waves a hand his way. “Stop the teasing. Royce isn’t moving again, are you?”
He doesn’t answer. Not immediately. It sends my gut through the floor. I have no idea how long he plans to stay, but my time to change his mind is getting shorter. I know I have to, I just don’t know how.
But worse than the sudden fear that Roo is going to leave me again is his clear discomfort.
“Did I tell you guys about that fire in Coates County?”
That gets their attention. There’s been speculation the fire was deliberately lit, which sounds like horseshit to me, but I’ll let them speculate if it means taking the heat off Roo.
He squeezes my thigh in thanks. Not that he ever needs to thank me for helping him; the need is as ingrained in me as breathing.
The conversation moves on from the fire, to Leon’s company’s work on the new shopping plaza in Port Welling, and then to Dahlia moaning about how her sophomore students are driving her to drink.
Roo’s hand stays on my thigh.
I lean back once I’m finished eating, and sling my arm over the back of his chair. He settles into it, exactly where he’s meant to be.
When we were eighteen and he told me he was leaving, I was shattered, but I sucked it up and wished him luck. It’s what he needed from me. But this time around, I won’t be able to pretend.
After dinner we play board games, and the others drink some more. Roo and I pace ourselves, and I have no idea if he’s on the same wavelength as me, but I’m keen to experiment again, and I want to have a clear mind for it.
The tiniest bit of guilt hits me that I’m hiding behind a lie in order to keep touching Roo, but I’m not convinced he’d want to keep going with it if I told him I have my answers.
He’s being a good friend, helping me out.
I’ll just have to keep making sure it’s worth his while.
The second I slam the front door behind us, Roo is on me. I’d been planning to get my hands on him, but this is even better. His need comes through loud and clear, and it’s a massive turn-on to know I’m the one doing that to him.
Our tongues fight for dominance as I back him toward the couch, unwilling to take the time to head for the bedroom. Tonight has been torture, and I need him now.
Roo’s fingers tug at the bottom of my shirt, urging it up, and I break away from him long enough to pull it over my head and yank his off as well.
As soon as his mouth is back on mine, he lets out a groan-slash-growl that shoots to my dick.
“Too many clothes,” I mutter against his lips as I pop the button on his pants and shove them down. He’s already sliding mine off too, and we kick our way out of them without breaking the kiss.
Roo pushes me, and my bare ass lands on the couch. He immediately straddles my lap and tilts my head back as he starts to work on my neck.
“Fuck.” My hands find his thighs, and I squeeze them, loving the feel of the light hair under my palms, his weight on top of me.
“Time for some more of your gay education,” Roo says, his voice all sexy and rough.
I watch as he spits in his palm, lines up our cocks, and wraps his hand around them both.
A desperate noise leaves me, because what the hell is this? How, how does this feel so good? My brain is about to short-circuit.
I look up at Roo, whose mouth has fallen open, and coax him back down to kiss me. Our kisses are disjointed, a mess of tongues and teeth, but I can barely concentrate. And then Roo starts to thrust, and I check out completely.
The glide of his dick against mine has me widening my legs and gripping his ass tighter as I urge him to move faster.
I’m panting and making noises I’ve never made during sex before, and then I look up at Roo, and everything seems to explode inside me. My heart feels too big for my chest, my lungs too small, my brain too fuzzy to do anything other than chant more, more, more.
More of everything.
I squeeze my eyes closed and arch my neck into the back of the couch as I focus on his scent, his warmth, his hitched breathing. Everything about Roo surrounds me.
A drip of sweat hits my chest as Roo starts to grunt. “Look at me.”
My eyes snap open, and as soon as our gazes lock, he starts to shake and his thrusting goes off-rhythm.
“Shit,” he groans, and then he’s coming, shooting over my stomach and my chest, and his cum makes my dick glide through his hand.
Roo’s grip tightens as I hold him against me and start to fuck his fist. When he loops his free arm around my neck and kisses me, I can’t hold back any longer.
My balls draw up tight and tingles race from my spine to my dick, before my orgasm rips through me.
“Roo.” I crush him to me and claim his mouth as I ride out the high.
Wishing this moment would never end.