Chapter 26
Roo
There’s only one thing I like more than sleep, and that’s Tanner waking me up with sex.
Pity for me, I didn’t get either of those things this morning.
I’m already in a filthy mood when Tanner pulls up in the parking lot of Sunbury High.
“If this morning involves any form of manual labor, I’m warning you right now, I’m out.”
Tanner laughs and leans over the console to press a hard kiss to my lips. “You’re adorable when you’re all pissy. Now get out of the truck.”
Adorable was definitely not the mood I was going for. “If I’m so adorable, you’d give me anything I wanted.”
He climbs out and slams the door behind himself before rounding the front of the truck to open my door. There’s an extra spring in his step that should be illegal at this time of morning.
“Roo … you know I won’t say no to you, so I’d really love if you didn’t fight me on this. I wanna show you something.”
I grumble for extra effect as I climb down, but Tanner’s got me curious. What the hell could he possibly want to show me at the goddamn high school?
His fingers weave through mine as he tugs me to follow him. “I know Sunbury was never the best place for you growing up. It was hard. I saw that, but I also think you’re writing it off without fully giving it a chance.”
“I was here for seven years. I know what this place is like.”
Tanner throws me a quick smile over his shoulder. “What I mean is, you were dealt a really shitty hand. Things were hard, but they would have been hard no matter where you were.”
“I know something that’s hard.”
He pins me with a look. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation.”
“Might have picked the wrong person to bring, then.”
“Roo.” Tanner laughs, and the sound is so warm and familiar, I feel myself give in. “Can you play along?”
“Fine. You were talking about things and hard and shitty hands. Ooh, that’s probably not the best combination for one sentence.”
“You done?”
“For now.”
“As I was saying, yes, high school and what you went through was rough, but that would have been crap to deal with no matter where you were.”
I really want to disagree, because … well, because it’s me. But I don’t have anything to back up my disagreement other than the bone-deep dislike of this town. “Your point?”
“I want to remind you that it wasn’t all bad. That you focus on the negative, where I see a million positives. So that’s why we’re here.”
I screw up my mouth, really not wanting to be interested, but the idea of a trip down memory lane isn’t totally horrible. “Fine. Convince me.”
The smile he sends my way is far too confident.
We walk through the school, and it’s bizarre how it can look so different when nothing’s changed.
It’s like the years have warped my memory of the place, and I’d forgotten the smaller details I’d never given a single thought before now.
The scuff marks on the floors, the high patterned windows, and the smell of cleaning solution that barely covers the stench of teenager.
We reach my old locker.
“What do you remember here?” Tanner asks.
I frown at the greenish metal. “Textbooks. And how on my bad days, the sound of people slamming these assholes used to mess with my headaches.”
“What about the photo of our group that Jules made you put up in there?”
I snort.
“Are you still gonna pretend you hated it?” he asks. “I caught you looking at that thing a million times.”
“Because it was right in front of my face.” Which is a total fucking lie, of course, because I did look at it.
Jules in her cheer uniform, Tanner in his letter jacket.
I was wearing all black because it was easier to hide, well, everything.
Leon had Circus thrown over his shoulder, and Rafe’s arms were around Dahlia on one side and Laura on the other.
I remember every detail from that photo. Because I still have the stupid thing.
Tanner steers me toward a window that overlooks the quad. “What about that tree over there?”
“Where we used to eat lunch?”
“Yep.”
“I remember Byers throwing a baseball at your head.”
“And?”
I glare at him out of the corner of my eye. “Lunch. Goofing off. What is this supposed to achieve?”
His arms wrap around me from behind, and he presses a kiss to my temple. “Wanna know what I see?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” And yeah, I’m getting snarky. But the more he tries to make me feel, the more I’m going to fight against it.
“My first A. In my whole life. I was waiting for you there, so goddamn excited to show you, and I think I was even more excited about your reaction than the grade itself. Remember what you did?”
I puff out a breath. “I tackled you to the ground and hugged you for like, the whole break.”
“Mmhmm. I can’t for the life of me imagine why people thought we were together.”
That gets a smile. “Total mystery.” I catch my bottom lip with my teeth, wondering whether to play into his game. Fuck it. “Do you also remember I didn’t stay at your place that night?”
“You didn’t?”
“Nope. Want to know how I remember that?”
“Definitely.”
“After half an hour with your big swimmer’s thigh pressed between my legs, I had to spend the entire fucking night jerking myself off.”
Tanner cracks up laughing. “You’re all class.”
“Didn’t get you out of my system, though. And I tried.”
“Well, I’m glad you gave me a chance to catch up. Come on, there’s more.”
Tanner continues to lead me through the school, pointing out memories of all the shit we used to get up to.
Our semi-permanent senior-year lunches in the nurse’s office.
The way we’d try to eavesdrop on the principal and the kids who had to go and see him.
When that didn’t work, we’d make up the most messed-up scenarios we could think of.
He takes me past the football field, where we’d come for pep rallies and always end up under the bleachers, setting firecrackers off under people’s feet.
Past the field where we had our graduation ceremony only a few days before I left.
I breathe in shakily, remembering laughter, and feeling safe, and the knowledge that no matter where I was in this school, Tanner was always close by.
Goddammit, he’s right. I’d blocked out all the good stuff but it’s so much easier to focus on the bad. To hold it against the town. To use it as an excuse to stay away.
We loop back around to the parking lot, where Tanner pulls me in closer and lowers his lips to my ear. “Remember what happened right here?”
I look around. “Ah …”
“This is where you told me you were leaving. I’d driven you to school, and when we pulled up, you wouldn’t get out of the car.”
“Remind me how that’s a good memory.”
He pulls back and smiles softly, running a thumb over my cheek. “I think that’s the first moment I really got it.”
“Got what?”
“What you mean to me. You have no idea the panic I felt.”
“But …” I frown, looking up at his soft brown eyes. “I mean, you seemed sad, but you told me it was the best choice.”
“Because I had to. You needed the surgery so bad, and I didn’t wanna make leaving hard for you. I felt fucking sick. As soon as I dropped you off to class, I went straight to the bathroom and threw up.”
“What?”
He swallows and drops my gaze. “As scared as your seizures sometimes made me, I’d never even considered the possibility that you wouldn’t be there one day. Then suddenly it was all happening, and I only had two weeks to wrap my head around it.”
“Tanner, I—”
“It’s fine. It was important, and I got over myself enough to remember that. But it hurt, Roo. I was so lost when you left, and thinking back on it, I think I was heartbroken.”
“I was too.”
He smiles, but his eyes are red.
“But again, how is this a good memory?” I ask.
“This one wasn’t for you.”
My eyebrows lift.
“I know you hate Sunbury, but I want you to try and remember the good here too. We had each other, and I guess I’m asking you to think about staying.”
“Tan—”
“Let me finish.” He rests one large thumb over my lips.
“I know it’s a long shot, and all I’m asking is that you think about it.
Because if you don’t stay, then …” He meets my eyes again, and I know what he’s about to say a second before he says it.
“I’ll have to come with you. Because there’s no way I can survive being away from you again. ”
Fuck.
I launch myself at him. My lips find his, and I press into the kiss, trying to pour every last bit of emotion I have into it. I kiss him with everything I have, and then I kiss him some more, trying and completely fucking failing to show him what that offer means to me.
I know how much Tanner loves Sunbury.
I know how attached he is to being here for the rest of his life.
But he’s choosing me anyway.
And suddenly, I don’t need time to think. Because with one offer, Tanner’s given me everything I ever wanted.
So I’m going to do the same for him right back.