Chapter 27
Tanner
Ihave no idea what Roo is gonna choose. Putting my entire future in his hands is a massive gamble, and I’m still unsure if it was the right choice.
I love Sunbury. I’ve literally never imagined a future where I wouldn’t live here, where I wouldn’t raise possible kids here, and it kinda freaks me out to think that’s actually a very likely outcome.
Even with all my nervousness and uncertainty, I am sure about Roo.
We’ve been tested. We’re promising ourselves to each other.
I really want him to stay. But if he needs to leave, I’ll follow him anywhere.
The thing is, it’d be smart to gain an official firefighter position here first. I look around the firehouse at the other guys goofing off during some downtime, and try to picture telling them all I’m a dumbass.
All I can think about is high school and how the swim team treated me after they found out I needed learning assistance. Those guys were supposed to have my back, but apparently that shit ended once we were out of the pool.
The teasing about Roo I could mostly deal with.
The teasing about my stupidity I couldn’t.
And I’m not convinced Pauly or Jones will be any different.
Even though we went to high school together, Jones was the year above me, and I didn’t have a whole lot to do with him at the time. He only knew about me because I was Roo’s best friend, and everyone knew Roo.
Even if he didn’t want them to.
“Yo, Tanner,” Jones says as he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and tosses it my way. “Some of us are heading to a strip club for Pauly’s birthday next week. You’re coming, right?”
“Ah …” Somehow I stop myself from cringing.
Jones laughs. “Come on, man. You haven’t done much with us since Royce showed up. Every time I talk to you, you’re attached to him. You need to come out and get laid. I’ll even buy you a lap dance.”
Before Roo and I got together, I probably would have gone, just because that’s what people do.
I’m sure it would have been hot on some level, and no one can ever be mad about a lap dance, right?
But I’m also not into it the way these other guys are.
It’s always felt a bit awkward, and one-night stands are a whole lot of issues.
I wanna fuck and come and move on, but people always stick around for that bit longer than I’m comfortable with.
“Yeah, I—”
“If you say you need to check with Royce, I’m going to have to knock some sense into you. I swear, some days you act like an old married couple.”
That makes me smile. While this side of our relationship might be new, I can only hope we make it that far. “Look, I’m sorry you don’t have close friends, really. But you might have more if you weren’t such an asshole.”
“Screw you,” he says, smiling. “Just know, I’m not accepting anything but a ‘yes.’ I’ll drag you there if I have to. We all deserve a night off so we can get off, then get fucked up.”
“And if there’s an emergency?”
Jones cringes. “There won’t be. But I’ve already told the chief we won’t be available.”
And again, having a permanent job means they have that luxury.
But while he’s right about needing a night off to get off, I also don’t need to go anywhere for that.
I’m a lucky bastard.
I watch as Jones enters the living area and passes a water bottle to Pauly.
They’re talking smack about next week, and it hits me how easy it would be to tell them the reason I’m not going to go.
Even if they try to force me. Because while I don’t want them to find out I’m a giant dumbass, telling them I’m in a relationship with another dude really doesn’t seem like a big thing.
Will they be dickheads? Jones almost certainly will be. Still, when it comes to Roo, no one else’s opinions matter.
That said, these two are the town’s biggest fucking gossips, and if I tell them Tanner Everett is sleeping with a man at night, that shit will get around fast. I should probably tell my mom and dad first.
Will they be surprised? Who the hell knows?
They already know I love Roo. Madly. So if they’re surprised by this change, I think I’ll have an answer to where my own stupidity comes from.
I text Roo after lunch and let him know my plans. He makes it very clear I don’t have to go announcing it when this thing is still so new, but fuck that. This has been a decade in the works. I don’t wanna wait any longer for people to know he’s mine.
Roo Williams is stuck with me now.
I finish my shift, and when I get out to my car, I find another text from Roo.
Roo:
There’s literally no hurry. What if something happens and you regret telling them?
I laugh to myself. Now who’s being dumb? If he hasn’t worked out that this relationship is it for me, I’m gonna start to question who’s really the smart one between us.
Tanner:
No matter what happens, there’s nothing to regret. I give zero shits about people knowing that I’m in love with you. Let’s face it, I’ve never been great at hiding it. I think everyone knew before I did anyway.
And ain’t that a bitch? That I was probably the last person in all of Sunbury to know how I felt about him. If I’d realized in high school, would he have left me?
Well, for the operation, yes. But would he have come right back? Did we lose years together because of how dumb I am at … everything?
Fuck, I guess it doesn’t matter now.
Now is the time to make sure I don’t get to have any more of these regrets.
I hit Mom’s number and hold my phone to my ear.
The time it takes her to answer feels like a lifetime, but it’s probably only a couple of rings. I’m sure about my decision, but I’m also nervous as all hell.
Because I’ve never told Mom and Dad about a serious girlfriend, and here I am about to come out to them, I guess.
Yet, it doesn’t feel like this is about that. Because Roo being a guy really doesn’t feel like a big thing to me.
And maybe I shouldn’t be doing this over the phone, but I’ve somehow managed to convince myself that: a, this shouldn’t be a big deal, and b, I’d rather not see if they take the news badly. At least over the phone I can hang up and go home to Roo to make myself feel better.
“Hey, baby,” Mom’s chipper voice says when she answers. She’s panting a little, and I’ll bet she’s run in from the garden to get to her phone in time. “What are you doing?”
“Just got off work.” A yawn rips through me, stretching my mouth wide.
“You work too much,” she sings.
“And I will until the day I die,” I remind her.
She chuckles.
“Is Dad there?”
“Yeah, wanna talk to him?”
“Actually …” Yeah, this is happening. “Can you put it on speaker? I wanna talk to you both together.”
I can hear the question in her silence, but after a short pause I make out the telltale sound of the phone being switched to speaker.
“Hey, Tan, what’s up?” Dad asks.
I focus on the dashboard, reminding myself of Roo’s countless messages telling me I don’t have to go through with this. I could easily bail out now and tell them I was calling to catch up, but nope. No. I’m doing this. “Umm, so, you know how Roo and I have been close for … a while?”
Mom laughs. “Total understatement.”
It’s like I can hear Dad nodding.
“Right, well, about that.” I swallow. Mom and Dad have always loved Roo, but Dad has also said some pretty messed-up things about them gays he sees on TV. “We’re … together.”
“Living together? We know.”
“That’s not what I—we’re together. Dating.” I hold my breath, almost sick at the thought of what they could say.
“I’m … confused,” Dad says.
Mom’s silent.
I swallow.
“Is this a new thing?” Dad asks.
“W-what?”
“Weren’t you dating in high school? Isn’t that why he came back?”
All the air leaves me in a rush. “No. We only got together like a week ago.”
“Oh, Tanner,” Mom says. “You don’t need to hide it from us. We suspected you were dating during your senior year, and then when he left, you were so heartbroken. It basically proved it.”
I splutter. “I’m not hiding anything. Seriously. We only just got together.”
“But …”
“A week. That’s it.” Officially, anyway. But Jesus, I thought they’d start questioning me about why we’re together, not why it’s only happened now. I knew a lot of folks in town made assumptions, but these are my parents.
“So, this is …” I take a deep breath. “This is okay?”
Dad grunts. “You’re a good kid. It’s your life. And let’s just say, the only shocking part of this conversation is how Royce has waited all these years.”
I don’t have an answer for that either. It’s unbelievable to me that I got so lucky.
“Now to actual news,” Mom says. “The Sunflora Festival is only two weeks away. Text me your shifts at the station so I can come by and confirm a few things. And remind Royce I’ll expect his help. Now you’re properly dating, you can make sure he doesn’t slip out of it this year.”
“Ah, sure.”
Mom reminds me she loves me, and while I roll my eyes at her over-the-top show of support, I secretly love it.
I end the call and sag against the driver’s seat.
That was … sort of exciting. Maybe I should feel more relief or something?
And while I know I just technically came out, it doesn’t feel that way.
Neither of them asked about me being gay or bi or anything. They’re … them.
And I’m me.
And now there’s no reason why Roo and I shouldn’t tell the world.