Chapter Forty-Six
Leo
Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.
Sophia made her way to the security line, and I fell apart. Most of the people walking past me in the middle of the airport barely paid me any attention as I watched the love of my life show her ticket and ID to the TSA agent and disappear around the corner.
My shoulders shook with sobs and I covered my face, hoping Sophia wouldn’t look back at me.
If she did, she’d see my heart breaking in a way I never could have imagined was possible.
A pit formed in my stomach as a wave of panic washed over me, worse than the kind I got before a big game, and I forced my feet to take me to the bathroom.
I threw up, clutching my stomach and crying on the floor of the airport bathroom before finally pulling myself up to sit on the seat and cry with my head in hands until I was capable of driving my car again.
When I was finally convinced that it had been long enough and Sophia couldn’t come back and find me, I stood up and splashed water on my face at the sink, grateful that the only other guy in the bathroom averted his eyes, before walking back to my car.
Even knowing she’d be gone, it didn’t stop me from scanning every face in the airport, just in case.
I parked behind Harrison’s Bar and Pub, went inside, and sat at the bar. I must have looked like a mess—red-rimmed eyes, hair sticking up from pulling at it, and a T-shirt splattered with puke.
Olivia took one look at me and shook her head. “What happened to you, kid?”
My eyes filled with tears again.
I didn’t know Olivia well, but I knew she was a single mom and had become good friends with Jace when she started working here about a year ago.
Since Jace lived just above the bar, he was often helping her out or hanging out with her while she was working.
Given she had a fiercely independent attitude and was pretty with long, brown hair and a nose ring, I was surprised Jace hadn’t slept with her yet.
She was definitely his type. He insisted he cared too much about her to ruin their friendship, though I’d noted, several times, that he never denied being into her.
Her kind face made me want to pour my heart out.
“I love her, Liv. I think I might die without her,” I said, pointing to the bottle of Brother’s Bond Bourbon behind her. “Keep that coming.”
Olivia shook her head and grabbed a glass, pouring two fingers. “I’m sorry, Leo.” She slid it over to me. She’d seen me in here with Sophia enough times to know who I was talking about, and I appreciated that she didn’t press for details.
I downed the bourbon and slid the glass back to her.
“More,” I said.
She searched my face before pouring two more fingers. I reached for the glass, but she gripped it in her left hand. She held her right hand out, palm facing up. “Keys.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not going to be, and I’d rather take them now than pry them out of your drunk hands in an hour,” she said, leveling me with a stern look that left no room for argument.
I pulled the keys out of my pocket and dropped them in her hand. Her fingers closed around them, and she slid the glass across the bar to me.
“Leave the bottle,” I said as she started to move toward the end of the bar.
“Leo, I can give you a lot of latitude, but I can’t do that,” she said sadly. “I’ll come back in a few.”
I downed the bourbon and folded my arms on the bar, dropping my forehead against them.
Since I rarely drank heavily the bourbon hit me quickly, my brain blurring and swirling with ideas that bypassed the proper decision-making channels.
I could just call her. I could call her right now and tell her I’ve made a huge mistake.
I could beg her to come back. I could get on a plane and go to her.
I pulled out my phone and looked up, feeling Olivia’s presence in front of me.
She poured more whiskey into my glass and held her hand out again. “Give me the phone, Leo.”
I looked down at the screen, a picture of Sophia and I smiling underneath winter hats stared back at me.
We’d spent a day after a snowstorm in February playing in the snow and building snowmen in Boston Common and our noses were red from the cold.
When we’d finished, we’d gone back to my aunts’ condo and climbed into their hot tub.
They’d come home to find us making out on their balcony and had simply shut the curtains on us, Aunt Sloane ordering us to get out if we got any ideas beyond kissing.
There’d been a lot of grinding and rubbing along with all the kissing, but I’d waited to enter her until we’d scurried over to my parents’ condo, grateful they were out for the evening.
There hadn’t been a single day since meeting her when I’d gotten enough of Soph.
I lifted my eyes to look at Liv who waited patiently but with that same stern look on her face. “Drunk dialing the woman you love will not fix this. If you want to drink, drink. If you want to call her, wait until tomorrow.”
I handed her my phone and drank the whiskey she handed me. She watched me with sad eyes. “No more hard liquor.”
I nodded, feeling compelled to follow her rules for the simple fact that it took decision-making out of my hands. I clearly wasn’t cut out for it today.
“Beer?” she asked.
“Yeah, Switchback.” She got me a bottle of the Vermont ale and I continued to drown my sorrows while she floated around the bar, glancing at me from time to time with concern.
“You need to come get your cousin, Jace.” Olivia’s voice caused me to lift my head from the bar.
Was I asleep? Does Olivia have a twin back there?
I narrowed my eyes, trying to get them to focus on one Olivia, but the room was blurry as hell.
“Now, Jace. Or I’m calling Adrian,” she said.
Olivia hung up the phone and a few minutes later Jace came strolling in from the back of the bar in a dark T-shirt and gray sweatpants. “Hey, little dude,” he said, looking me over. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a burp.
Jace turned to Olivia. “How much did you serve him, Liv?” he asked, eyes roaming over me with concern.
“He’s a college hockey star. I thought his tolerance would be higher than it apparently is. I stopped when I saw him nearly fall off the barstool. In hindsight, I should have stopped when he started crying about the state of Hawaii an hour ago,” she said, closing out tabs at the register.
Their words were muffled by what sounded like bees in my ears. I looked around the room for the bees.
“Well, that explains a lot,” Jace said, putting his arm around my waist and lifting me off the barstool. “I’ll take him upstairs.”
“You need help?” she asked.
“No.” He smiled at her in a way that looked affectionate. But what the fuck did I know about romance right now? “Thanks for calling me first.”
I stumbled onto my feet before giving in and leaning against him. “You let her leave, hockey star?”
I choked on a sob. “I thought we could have everything. For a few minutes, I thought she could have my baby and we’d be okay. We wouldn’t let each other sacrifice for us, but for the baby, we would have had to, right?”
Jace stopped moving and stared down at me. I lifted my head to look at him. All three of him.
“Is Sophia pregnant?” he asked.
“No.” My eyes filled with tears again. “But I really wish she was because then I’d be with her right now. I just want to be with her.”
Jace sighed. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”
“Okay,” I said, my stomach doing somersaults up my throat as the floor moved up and down beneath me. “Can we just stop at the bathroom? I’m pretty sure I’m about to boot.”
Jace chuckled before stopping in the bar’s back hallway where he gently nudged me inside the bathroom.
I did what I needed to do and when I opened the door and saw his sympathetic face, I broke down again.
He pulled me against his chest, letting me cry until I was able to move my feet again.
He walked me up the stairs and tucked me into his bed where I drifted off to memories of Sophia’s smiling face and her red-stained nose against a backdrop of snow.