Chapter Nine #3
Jackson picked up the stapled packet that Rawlings had slid across the desk to him.
Henry’s face flashed before his eyes. As he flipped through a contract he’d seen, and signed, many times before, Henry’s voice rang in his ears.
He picked up the pen, trying to block it out.
I love you, Jackson. Please don’t go. He pressed the pen to the page, but his hand froze.
I love you, Jackson. Please don’t go. He had given Henry up.
For what? Another war-torn country with grueling sand and intense sun.
I love you, Jackson. Please don’t go. He let go of his rigid idea that relationships weren’t for him.
He loved Henry, and he wanted to be with him more than he’d ever wanted anything. He put the pen down.
“Is there something wrong, Major?” Lieutenant Colonel Rawlings asked.
Jackson raised his head to meet the other man’s eyes. “I can’t sign these, sir.”
“Is there some error?”
“No, I mean, I can’t sign it because I’m not re-upping. I need to be home.”
“This comes as a surprise.” The wide-eyed Rawlings sounded confused. “I was pretty sure we would have to retire you.”
“Me too.” Jackson shook his head. “But here we are.”
“Well.” the lieutenant colonel shrugged.
“You were an incredible soldier, Major Owens, and you will be missed. I suppose we’ll process some different paperwork for you.
” Rawlings stood, so Jackson did as well.
“We’ll talk again soon.” They shook hands and then Jackson walked out of the office.
All he could think about was getting back to Henry and praying that he wasn’t too late.
As soon as Jackson left the building, his phone was in his hand, and he was dialing Henry’s number.
You’ve reached Henry Andrews. I’m super sorry I missed your call, but I promise I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
“We really need to talk, baby. I messed up bad, and I’m so sorry. Please call me back.” He hung up then sent the same thing in a text message.
Jackson’s plane landed on a Thursday at two.
From the airport, he took a taxi to his house.
Henry wasn’t home. He hadn’t expected him to be but was still disappointed anyway.
He emptied his luggage, putting everything away, before calling Henry.
When he didn’t answer, he waited ten minutes before trying again.
He called a third time, but it went unanswered as well.
He knew Henry was probably busy at work, but he really needed to hear the man’s voice.
He sent a text. Please call me. We really need to talk, baby.
No response came. What if Henry doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore?
Waiting was killing him. He needed to see Henry.
He grabbed the keys to his Jeep, racing out to the garage then getting in to quickly make his way to Henry’s office.
Relief washed through him when he saw Henry’s SUV parked out front.
He needed to see the man, badly, and was so glad that he didn’t have to wait anymore.
He just hoped that Henry would be glad he came home.
“Good afternoon, sir,” a cheery blonde receptionist greeted him when he walked through the door.
Jackson threw on a charming smile. “Hi, I’m Jackson, Mr. Andrews’ boyfriend.” At least he hoped that was still true. “Is he in his office?”
“You haven’t heard?” She looked concerned.
“Heard what?” He felt panic rise in his chest.
“Mr. Andrews fell off a ladder this morning. He’s in the hospital.”
The bottom dropped out of his stomach. This couldn’t be happening. “Which hospital?”
“North Central.” She shook her head sympathetically.
“Thank you.” He rushed back out to his Jeep without another word to her. His heart pounded wildly as he drove like a bat out of hell to get there. He kept a rigid check on his emotions. There was no way he could break down. He needed to get to Henry.
He got the floor number from the information desk and managed to keep his composure until he got off the elevator and saw all the people in the waiting room.
It was Henry’s dad, Jasper, Lincoln, and his four friends.
If they are all here, this has to be really fucking bad.
His knees threatened to give out. Get ahold of yourself, Owens.
He took a deep steadying breath before crossing over to the group.
“What happened?” he asked. Every head turned to look at him.
“Why do you care?” Jasper spat at him with a tone so hostile that only years of military training stopped Jackson from flinching.
“Because Henry is incredibly important to me.” He fought to keep his voice calm.
“Since when?” Jasper sneered.
“Since we met,” he answered honestly.
“He’s so important that you left him. Right.” It was Lincoln’s turn to lay into him.
“I know I fucked up, okay. You can all spend the rest of the day reminding me of that. Just please tell me what happened first.”
“Boys, stop,” Ray instructed. “Come sit with me, Jackson.” He did, and the older man put his hand on his shoulder.
“Henry fell off a ladder, crashed through a glass coffee table, and hit his head on the frame. They haven’t really told us anything yet.
” Tears spilled down Ray’s cheeks. The bottom dropped out of Jackson’s stomach.
“Now you know,” Lincoln took over. “Why are you here?”
Everyone turned to him again. “I came to beg Henry to forgive me for making the biggest mistake of my life.”
“You hurt him,” Jasper reminded him, making him feel like the lowest piece of shit that ever existed.
“I know.” He had to swallow hard over the lump in his throat. All he could see was Henry’s face. I love you, Jackson. Please don’t go. His own eyes burned, and he felt sick to his stomach. “And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to him.
“Do you love him?” Justin asked.
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. Henry is the only man I’ve ever loved, and I almost blew it.
Fuck, for all I know, I may have. Jackson put his elbows on his knees and then his face in his hands.
What if he really was too late? What if Henry didn’t even want to see him.
The room fell quiet; all that could be heard was some soft sniffling.
Jackson could feel his eyes burning again as he tried to hold back tears.
He wasn’t a religious man, but prayer seemed like the only option left.
Please let him be okay. Please let him still be in love with me.
A single tear rolled down Jackson’s cheek.
Images of him and Henry exploded through his brain.
Everything else ceased to exist for him.
He saw them walking Angel. He saw them soaking in the hot tub.
He saw Henry holding him at his most vulnerable.
He saw Henry’s head on his chest as they fell asleep together.
He saw Henry’s incredible smile. Another teardrop escaped.
He could feel the warm pressure of Henry’s lips against his.
And the slide of Henry’s tongue along his own.
Henry always tasted faintly of sweet mint, so kissing him was incredibly addictive.
He wanted nothing more than to be able to do that again.
But what if I can’t? That thought made his stomach lurch, and he had to fight hard to keep from puking all over the tile floor in front of him.
He had no idea how long he sat like that, but when he raised his head, he realized he had completely zoned out. Ray’s head was tipped back against the wall, and he appeared to be asleep. Jasper had left, but Lincoln and all his friends were still there.
“Come sit with us, Jackson,” Maddox called to him. They were sitting a bit away from the family. He got up and walked over to take a seat next to William.
“How are you holding up, man?” Justin asked him.
Jackson went with honesty. “I’ve never been more scared in my life. And considering some of my assignments, that’s saying a lot.”
“Yeah, him falling like that is definitely the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.” Maddox shook his head.
“You were with him?” Jackson asked.
Maddox nodded. “I told him to stay off the damn ladder, but you know Henry.”
“He’s going to pull through this.” William put his hand on Jackson’s shoulder in a comforting gesture.
All he could do was nod. “I just need him to be okay.” Jackson heard the worry in his shaky voice as the stinging in his eyes made a reappearance.
He was this big tough guy, a major in the Marines, but at this moment, he felt weak and helpless.
A tear rolled down his cheek. He couldn’t bring himself to care that he was crying in front of Henry’s friends.
The hand on his shoulder squeezed. “I never even told him that I love him. Fuck, what if I can’t?
” Suddenly he felt extremely faint, and more teardrops spilled over.
“You can’t think like that, man.” Maddox patted his knee. Jackson sniffed and nodded.
“We all know you love him,” Emmanuel told him. “We were really rooting for you to come back.”
“I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Can we ask you a question, Jackson?” Jackson nodded.
“We’re not going to be judgmental, but we want the truth.
We will not watch you hurt him again.” Fuck, what have I done?
“So, why did you leave, and what made you come back?” Justin’s voice was calm, nothing like the aggression from Henry’s brothers, and he appreciated that.
“I left because apparently my intelligence isn’t what I thought it was.
” He let out a heavy sigh. “I thought I had to keep being this badass Marine, but I realized that being that guy left my life completely empty. Without Henry, nothing else matters. So, I didn’t re-enlist.” Jackson rubbed his temples.
“I just wish I had been smart enough to make that decision before I left.” He closed his eyes as his entire body deflated.
“What if he hates me for it?” His voice broke.
“He hasn’t answered any of my calls or text messages. ”