Chapter 38 #2
This was the woman who held her in the car, who took her to a soccer game, and who first showed her that sea of stars flowing gently in the universe.
Technically, it was the woman she fell in love with.
“There’s nothing else we can do today about our situation,” Varen went on to say. “Besides make the most of it. I’m here. You’re here. We can breathe. Let’s pretend none of that other shit exists. For today.”
Nala couldn’t help but smile. “I’d like that. I’ve never had the chance to fully appreciate what it means to have a girlfriend. Not with you, anyway.”
“Then what are we waiting for? A sign from God?”
“Maybe.”
Varen stood, hand still interlocked with Nala’s. “We’re at the damn beach already. What other sign do you need?”
Absolutely none.
It took a few minutes for Nala to force herself to relax, but once she was able to take her cue from Varen, everything fell into place.
The wind never died down, and the occasional sprinkle of rain washed over them, but sometimes the sun came out and glistened in the water, in the sand, and against Nala’s skin as she and Varen wandered up and down the shoreline hand-in-hand.
The poor woman had never been shown how to skip rocks, so whenever the water was still enough, Nala tossed one at the ocean and watched it take two, three great skips before sinking. Varen wasn’t quite as talented.
They packed their pockets with shells and agates that would eventually be emptied somewhere else.
They picked up sticks and poked bubbles in the kelp, Nala making heinous faces as the slimy stuff slid around the sand.
And they definitely entertained the constant stream of dogs running up and down the beach, happy to jump in the surf and roll around in the sand.
A break was called for eventually, and they sat on a large piece of driftwood lodged deep in the compacted sand. Varen still had a stick from her walk and, to no one’s surprise, started writing foreign languages in the sand.
“What in the world is that?” Nala knew what it was, but not what it meant. She wrapped her arms around Varen’s and leaned her head against a comfortable shoulder. “I imagine you sitting in restaurants by yourself jotting down codes on napkins.”
“I do on my lunch breaks. Never hurts to figure out the next thing I’m working on.”
“Is that what that is? Homework?”
Varen covered her current codes with sand, erasing them. “It’s calming. Some kids wrote stories or drew pictures. I did math. Numbers are great. They always make sense and fall right into place. Only not everyone yet knows what places they can fall into.”
Speak for yourself. Nala was as good at math as she was at Cyrillic. Which was to say… not at all. Why do I put myself down like that? She stared at the numbers, the symbols, and the equations they formed. When Varen had her base down, she moved on to writing codes.
“You should teach me what this means one day,” she said, attempting to sound chipper. “I’d like to be able to admire your work on the back end. Not just the front end when I punch shit in my phone.”
Varen glanced at her, but her attention remained fully on her numbers and codes. “If you’d like. I’m not a great teacher, though.”
“Oh, you’ll find ways to teach me.” Nala squeezed her arm and rubbed her cheek against Varen’s sweatshirt. Damn, it really smells like her. “I’m really susceptible to certain forms of tutoring. You have no idea.”
“Sounds like you would get constantly distracted. Or I would.”
“Shut up!” Nala drew her legs up on the log and practically climbed on Varen’s back. “Now take me home to my castle. Your princess demands it.”
Varen rocked back and forth beneath her weight, stick dropping to the sand as she hurried to fish out her phone and take a picture of her codes. “What do I do with a princess once I get her home? Do I get a ransom?”
“I ain’t got any money. I’m a poor princess.”
Varen stood, grabbing Nala’s hand and pulling her forward. “Excellent. I’ll take my ransom in other forms, then. I hear you’re not a virginal princess.”
“Haha, you’re funny!”
“I aim to entertain you on our journey to the castle, your highness.”
She walked slowly back to the hotel, careful not to lose grip of Nala’s hand while she in turn stared at the cloudy sky.
On one hand, it was so commonplace that Nala thought nothing of it, but on the other, she realized that this was perhaps the most intimate thing they had ever done together. That wasn’t sex, anyway.
It was easy to pretend that they had no problems outside of themselves as she leaned her head against Varen’s arm and watched the ocean continue to fold upon itself.
The ocean didn’t care about the affairs of humans.
It didn’t care that there were powerful, evil people who made others’ lives hell.
All it cared about was the moon’s gravity and the creatures swimming within.
Varen let her go when they reached the hotel. Once they were outside their door, however, she pulled Nala close again, mumbling something about claiming her ransom.
“I wanna make love,” Nala muttered, her heart floating through the air before Varen showed her to the bed. “You know what I mean.”
“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”
“That you know what I mean?”
“Yes. That.” Her following kiss was exactly what Nala wanted. No, needed.
Foreplay had never been so slow, so gentle.
Varen’s hands lightly touched Nala’s body, teasing her here, taunting her there.
Every time she sighed, they kissed, sometimes pulling off an article of clothing and other times acting as if she would put them on again.
When Nala tired of her teasing, she yanked off her clothes herself – and then Varen’s, happy to see her familiar body be anything but rough for once.
Now it was her turn to cover Varen’s body in kisses.
Now it was Varen’s turn to lay back and learn what it was like to be doted on for a change.
Even so, Varen didn’t let her get far, for she had every intention of smothering her with affection.
Although Nala wanted to protest, she didn’t, because this suited her fine.
Particularly the part where Varen disappeared between her legs and lovingly took her to the height of pleasure with nothing but her tongue.
“Shit,” she said afterward, kneeling between Nala’s legs and unzipping her jeans. “I forgot the lube.”
Nala rolled her eyes. “I said make love, not pound my ass.”
“Is there a difference?”
She tsked in her throat. “What are you waiting for? Besides, I don’t want to use anything. If I’m making love to my girlfriend right now, I want it all-natural, you know?”
“As it so happens,” Varen growled, delectably, as she slowly pushed Nala into the bed, “I prefer the same.”
“Yes, that’s right.” Nala turned her head, letting Varen gently suck the side of her throat as she guided their legs together. “I demand the highest form of lovemaking.”
“Oh, so they’re your demands?”
“Today, I’m power-bottoming.”
“Is that what it’s called?”
They silenced one another with a kiss.
Nala had almost forgotten what it was like to make love to this side of Varen.
Just because the sex was more methodical did not make it any less passionate, however.
It was simply a different kind of passion: a kind that fueled her with every good feeling imaginable.
Good feelings that reawakened her ability to open her heart and reach out to another human being.
From the way Varen lightly groaned into her ear with every slow, easy movement, she had a feeling she felt the same way.
It all felt lighter, airier than the very air they breathed.
When Varen sat back, drawing Nala into her lap and letting her control everything as she looked into her eyes, she felt like she was racing into the stratosphere, where she flew high, higher, highest with the stars twinkling in the daylight.
“Varen,” she whispered, arms wrapped tightly around her. “Don’t let me go.”
“I won’t. I’m never letting you go, Nala.”
Emotional tears appeared in her eyes as she prepared to ride her for all they were both worth. “Good. Now do it.”
The way her body surged against Nala’s, lifting her higher off the bed with every movement, allowed her to forget every ounce of trouble in her mind and body.
The only things that existed were Varen and this moment they created together.
The more their passion inflamed, the more Nala opened her heart.
Good feelings. Only good feelings. This was a purge from the previous week. From all the tragic events and terrible news. Nala wouldn’t allow herself to think of any of it. There were still wonderful things in the world, and a pair as cynical as them could find a sliver of happiness.
“Varen,” she said again, her climax cresting. “I love you!”
They pushed back onto the bed, Varen’s voice a loud, silvery echo as her hips increased their power in preparation for claiming her for the day.
Remind me that I’m yours. Nala confessed her love once again, bracing herself against Varen as her legs shook in the air and her girlfriend expressed herself without words.
They lay in contented silence afterward, Nala’s legs strewn over Varen’s and her fingers brushing gently against her forehead. Such peace had seemed unachievable before. Yet now, to the sounds of waves, gulls, and wind, Nala felt so much at peace that she wondered if she even continued to exist.
“Can I ask you something?” she finally said, turning her head toward Varen. “It’s something I’ve wondered for a long time now, but I never asked because I didn’t want to upset you.” Now seemed like the best chance.
“Go on.”
Her voice was soft, but trepidation lurked. “Did you and Desirée… do the BDSM stuff?”
The answer was obvious, but Varen had never been clear about it. She either talked about kink or Desirée. Never together.
“Yes. It was how we met. A group at Stanford.”
Varen chuckled, surprising Nala. “We already knew each other from our studies, but it was the first time we found out the other was into kink. I asked her out a week later. We built up to it, over time. Learning each other’s limits, and the like. Our first time was… well, I will always remember it.”
Nala snuggled closer to her. “She wasn’t your first in the lifestyle.”