24. Ian
24
IAN
My entire world is disintegrating in front of me, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
I lost her once, when we were told that Kevin was dead.
Now, with the revelation that he’s alive, I’m going to lose her again.
The second time our phones start ringing almost completely in sync, I know exactly what’s happening, and I still don’t answer it.
Instead, I wait until the news screen stops playing the video of my best friend sitting in chains and being used as propaganda. Then I crouch down in front of Chloe and take her shaking hands in mine.
Her eyes are still glued on the TV even when I’m right there.
“Look at me, Chloe.”
She doesn’t budge. Her eyes are glossy, tears falling freely down her face, and I can’t even see her chest moving with her breathing. Chloe looks like a statue, and I have the sudden fear that if I touch her, she’ll shatter, and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing I can do to bring her back to me.
The phone rings in my pocket again, and I know I can’t ignore it any longer. Remy and the others have already left the room, leaving only the wives and children surrounding Chloe like a warm embrace.
I lean forward, gently placing my forehead against hers. “I’m going to fix this,” I whisper.
There isn’t a single part of me that expects a response from Chloe, so when her hands reach up and cup my face in the same comforting way that I use when I want her attention, my heart stutters in my chest.
“How?” The silent plea in her question almost breaks me.
For a fraction of a second, I wonder how to answer her. “I don’t know.” I settle on the truth. “I don’t know, but I’m going to do something, anything, to bring him home to you. To us.”
Chloe surprises me further by pressing her lips to mine right as my phone starts to ring in my pocket again.
“I love you.” Her words rip into my chest and bury into the muscle right next to my heart.
Without another word, I kiss her one more time and walk out before I throw my phone against the wall to end the ringing.
“What?” I bark into the receiver.
“That’s no way to greet your CO,” Major Miles Morgan answers.
My commanding officer while I served during the Marine Corps doesn’t sound pleased to be calling, and I don’t have it in me to pretend I don’t know exactly why he is calling.
“Is he still alive?”
One of the many tactics of our enemies is to record videos of prisoners before they are murdered and to use it as psychological warfare. As much as I want Kevin to be alive more than anything, I can’t pin my hopes on it. I can’t lie to myself or to Chloe and pretend that everything will be okay.
“He’s alive.” The words come across hot and heavy. “And we’re sending in a team to retrieve him.”
That goes against protocol.
“Why?”
Miles pauses for a second too long, and the realization hits me like a freight train. “You transferred him into intelligence, didn’t you?”
Miles doesn’t answer.
He doesn’t need to.
I served with him long enough. Had a relationship with his little brother, who lives in Birch Harbor now. I know how to tell when he is keeping something back.
Glancing back over my shoulder into the living room to make sure that Chloe is okay, or as okay as she can possibly be in the situation, I clear my throat to take away the hesitation in my questions.
“Who’s going?”
“His unit,” Miles explains. “We’re expecting an infiltration and rescue. Could take a few weeks to line everything up.”
“A few weeks is too long,” I snap. “You need someone willing to go in blind. A team ready to pivot on a moment’s notice. Ready to do what needs to be done to bring him home.”
Miles pauses again, and my irritation at the man grows tenfold in the two seconds that it takes for him to answer. “I know.” He clears his throat, almost mocking the way I did it just a few moments before. “Expect official orders within the hour. I called ahead as a courtesy to let you know. Especially considering your relationship with his sister.”
My heart races with an unexpected mix of trepidation and anticipation. “I’m out. Been out for a few years, Major.”
“Read the fine lines, Staff Sergeant. Individual Ready Reserve lasts for four years after you’re out. Not only that, but I’ve got a few connections that want Logan over here for their own benefit. Between the legal side and the private work, we’ll have it taken care of. Just be ready for the call.”
I don’t actually know why I’m arguing with him. I want to go overseas. I need to be the one to bring him home. I have to do it. I owe it to Kevin. I couldn’t be there the first time. But I can drag him out of the desert, alive, and end his suffering. I can do that for Chloe.
I’m not the only one being recalled, either. The others will be too. “You bringing back the entire section or just the fire team?”
“Section.” Miles covers the mouthpiece for a second when someone interrupts. “Fire team is too small, and you’re going to need Logan in command to monitor everything on the ground and guide you through the encampment. Mays for coordination of agencies and rescue.”
I nod. “I’ll pack now.”
Hanging up is the hardest thing I’ve done, not because I want to keep getting information out of Miles, but because I know I’ll have to turn around and tell Chloe that I’m leaving.
That there’s a chance I won’t be coming home to her.
Because there’s no way in hell I’m going over and not bringing Kevin home with me.
He’s already been left behind once. It won’t happen again.
Parker is already crying in Remy’s arms, and I know he told her that he had the same call I did. Kennedy, on the other hand, is engaged in a quiet conversation with Linc, poking him in the chest.
“I swear to everything that exists in this world, Lincoln Hayes. You come back alive, and you drag every single one of them with you. If you don’t, I will find a witch and I will find a way to resurrect you, only to turn you all into zombies. And then I’ll cut your head off myself.”
But Emma is the one who surprises me the most. She has one arm wrapped around Chloe’s shoulders, tears running down her face.
Dom is crouched down in front of her, trying to touch her, but she swats him away. “No,” she hisses loudly. “Don’t you fucking touch me, Dominic.”
Everyone in the room pauses what they are doing and watch, even Chloe.
“Bonita,” Dom says while tilting his head to the side. “Please. I have to go.”
“I know that,” Emma barks. “I’m trying to figure out what to say to you right now. Don’t touch me because I’ll forget what I’m gonna say. Your stupid hands turn me into butter and I need to be able to focus.”
Chloe laughs hollowly, and her eyes lift up to meet mine across the room. “You’re going too, aren’t you?”
I nod, pulling my lower lip between my teeth as I try to think of how I can lessen the blow.
“You’re going to get him.” She isn’t asking a question, but I nod in confirmation anyway. Chloe deserves the entire truth, all of it. Even if it kills me.
“Okay, I’ve got it,” Emma whispers loudly, drawing our attention.
She leans forward and grabs Dom’s shoulders. “I’ve already lost my brother. Danny’s dead and gone, and I know the grief that Chloe feels. But she’s got a chance to get her brother back, Dom. Bring him the fuck home. I don’t care who you have to put a bullet into, or if you have to burn the entire thing down. You help my friend, do you understand?”
Dom nods solemnly. “He’s my brother, Emma. He might not be blood, but I’d die for him.”
“Don’t you fuckin’ die over there, do you hear me? I don’t care if you’re willing to. We’ve lost too much to deal with that shit. So you better not.”
Chloe’s face blanches at Emma’s words, and my gut clenches. Of course she’ll think about the loss. The possibility that one of us will die to bring him home.
“We’re not gonna die.” Dom runs a hand down Emma’s face, stopping when he’s cupping her chin gently. “I promise.”
“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep,” Chloe interrupts them. “Kevin promised he’d be home. And he broke that promise.”
“No, he didn’t,” Linc points out, moving forward to put a hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “He just needs a little help to keep it. Help we’re gonna give him.”
Chloe doesn’t cry like I think she will. She doesn’t shudder. She doesn’t slump her shoulders or retreat into herself. I should move across the living room to take her into my arms. I should do more than just stand there, but I can’t make my feet move. Not until she stands up and starts toward me.
Then I take her hand and pull her into a tight embrace, wrapping my arms completely around her, and press a soft kiss to the top of her head.
“I love you, Chloe.” The words are the most natural thing I’ve ever said in my entire life.
Chloe pulls back slightly, just enough to turn and see our friends all scattered around. “What the hell are you guys still sitting here for? Go. And bring Kevin home with you when you come back.”
She steps completely out of my arms and walks out of the room without looking back.
“I’ll see you at the airport.” I lock eyes with each and every former member of our section, conveying without words the emotions I currently feel. “Anyone know when we’re supposed to report?”
“Two hours.” Logan is staring at his phone. “Got an hour until we have to leave.”
“I’m not shaving my beard,” Linc exclaims suddenly. “They can kiss my ass if they think I’m going over there with a clean shave.”
Remy slaps him upside the head. “Not the time, man.”
“No shit,” Linc barks. “I’m trying to ease some of the thick-ass tension that’s gonna swallow us whole if we’re not careful.”
“Chloe’s right,” I say suddenly. “Go home. We’ve got some shit to take care of.”
“I want sex before you go,” Parker announces loudly. When every set of eyes turns in her direction, she widens her eyes and lifts her hands in the air. “What can I say? I’m pregnant, gonna miss you, and I’m horny.”
With that, I turn around and leave them to their own devices. I can hear Chloe moving around upstairs, and I follow her up, pausing in the doorway to our room, watching her pace back and forth, biting the nail on her thumb and muttering to herself.
“I’ve gotta pack,” I tell her needlessly.
She stops, her eyes flickering up to mine. “It can wait.”
Really, it can’t, but I’m not about to tell her that. Not with everything she is going through.
“I’m going to sound absolutely crazy.” Chloe goes on like she’s been talking to me the entire time.
“Not any crazier than Parker did just now.” The humor I try to put into my words falls flat.
“I need you, Ian.” Chloe pulls her shirt off—one of mine again—leaving me shocked and breathless. “I need you to love me. Make me feel something. Take away the numb.”
Her eyes never leave mine, and I see the heat. The need. The fury in her eyes. So I do the only thing I can. I strip.
My shirt is the first to go, followed by my shoes, and finally my pants and socks.
“Lights on.”
I watch her peel her pants off and I inhale sharply at the sight of her without underwear. When she is left in nothing but her bra, I move to the bed.
Her hands beat mine to it, and then there is nothing between us but space. Space that quickly vanishes when Chloe wraps her arms around my neck and I lift her up against my already hard cock.
She doesn’t even have to breathe on me, and I’ll be ready for her anytime she wants.
“Are you sure?” The question catches us both off guard.
I don’t want to stop. Don’t want to put her down. But I will. If Chloe asks me to, I’ll do anything.
“Yes.” Her voice burns into my soul. “I need to feel something, Ian. I need to feel you. Us. I need this.”
That is all I need, and I move her down to the bed, positioning myself as I go. I can’t control when she leans up, impaling herself on my cock, though, and I groan when I feel her heat wrap around me.
“Yes.” Chloe hisses the word, tilting her head back and grabbing at me, demanding more.
I give her everything. Slamming into her body, making her feel every single thrust, every move of our bodies. Fast and deep, rough and needy. I grab her hair and pull it to the side, giving me access to her shoulder and neck. Kissing her while moving my body inside hers, her pulse beats wildly under my lips.
Unable to help myself, I bite down on her shoulder, relishing the way her body jumps and the climax that bursts through her body a second later.
Faster, I drive into her body, refusing to let the way she tightens around my body keep me out. As she screams with pleasure, I keep the same pace I started, giving her exactly what she demands of me.
By the time I’m ready to follow her into oblivion, Chloe is bearing down on me and coaxing the orgasm at the base of my dick along. She reaches up, grabbing me by the back of the hair, forcing my mouth down to hers in a punishing kiss.
We stay locked together until Chloe is finally ready to let me go.
“Be safe, Ian. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
She kisses me gently, and then I have to move.
“I love you, Chloe.” Her name is nothing more than a whispered prayer.
And when I finish showering and packing my gear, Chloe is wrapped in one of my shirts, curled in the middle of the bed with tear-stained cheeks.
“I’m going to watch her,” Emma says when I walk into the living room. “Don’t worry. I’ve got her back.”
With a nod, I walk out, leaving the most important person in the world behind.
Outside, I look up at the sky and silently promise to come home to her.
To bring Kevin home.
No matter what.