Chapter 9 19 Months Later
The late Spring breeze wafting in through the window is warm and heady with the promise of a hot Summer. The golden afternoon sun washes across the yard, and everything is dreamy and hazy - the perfect weather for a celebration.
I check my pockets for my phone, keys and wallet, then look around on the kitchen counter for my glasses and sunglasses.
“Laurie!” I call for what feels like the tenth time. “We got places to be, peanut!”
“I’m almost done!” Comes the distant reply.
“You said that half an hour ago!” I chuckle to myself, shaking my head. I check my phone to find a message from Mella, saying she’s at the house we’ve hired in the next town over for the graduation party. I type out a quick reply, telling her we’ll be on our way once our daughter stops preening.
A few seconds later, Laurie’s rushed footsteps patter down the stairs, and she bursts into the kitchen.
She’s wearing a white Grecian style one-shoulder dress, her blonde hair hanging in glossy curls around her shoulders.
Big, sparkly earrings set with orange stones dangle from her ears.
She tugs nervously at the hemline of her dress as her big blue eyes meet mine.
“Do I look… OK?” She asks uncertainly.
I puff out a heavy breath, and shake my head as it hits me full force that my daughter is a woman, a grown woman with a college degree and a career waiting on her. She’s about to make her own way in the world, a world far, far away from me.
“No, peanut, you do not look OK.” I smile when her eyebrows almost disappear into her shiny blonde bangs. “You look absolutely radiant. The most beautiful girl in the world.”
Her face melts into a smile, and she wraps me in a hug. “Thanks, daddy.”
“Oh, peanut.” I kiss the top of her head. “When did you go on and grow up, huh?”
“It sort of happened a while ago.”
“Well, it’s extremely rude if you ask me. It went by way too fast.” I give her shoulders a squeeze as she giggles. “Come on now, time to go celebrate. They’re all waiting for you.”
Laurie furiously taps at her phone as we drive through the neighbourhood and down the back road out of town.
“Everyone is so excited,” she says, bouncing in her seat. “I still can’t believe you all put this huge party on for us.”
“All you college graduates deserve it. You worked so damn hard this past year.” I look over at her, and she gives me a smile. “Besides, you need to get in as much sunshine as you can before you move to Seattle.”
“Ha, ha,” she drawls. “I happen to like the rain.”
I grunt out a laugh. “Good, you won’t have much choice soon.”
“Dad, stop it,” she scolds, but her voice is light. Her phone pings again, and she snatches it up from the dash. “Oh, Amber’s there! She just arrived. God, I missed her so much, I feel like I haven’t seen her in forever!”
Great. I clear my throat, trying to clear the dry lump that forms there immediately at the mention of Amber’s name. I cover it all with a cough, trying not to make my nerves so obvious to my daughter, who continues to tap away at her phone.
“Didn’t you all just go to Mexico in, what, May?” I’m trying desperately to sound jovial, not like my heart is threatening to thump right out of my chest.
“It’s not the same though. Not when you’re around all those people and have fiances in tow.” Laurie shrugs with a little sigh. “But I guess it’s how it’s going to be now, with me all the way over on the west coast. Everything’s changing.”
I’m ashamed of myself that I’m more caught up on the word fiancé than I am in comforting my daughter about the huge life changes ahead of her.
But my stomach does that drop, the same drop it did back at Christmas when Laurie squealed into her phone the night before Christmas Eve.
Amber got engaged, she’d cried, and shoved the phone into my face so I could admire Amber’s beautiful new engagement ring.
Amber and I had made almost the exact same face as we’d stared at each other for the first time since our weekend together the year before.
I mumbled out some congratulations before Laurie had snatched the phone away from me to disappear into her room as she and Amber discussed wedding dress. More cry-screaming when Laurie yelled down the stairs, I’m going to be maid of honour!
I’d taken a bottle of whiskey to my room and downed too much of it while watching the Hallmark Holiday marathon. And yes, after too much whiskey and one too many heartfelt confessions of love in front of snow-covered inns in rural Vermont, I’d cried.
Amber was engaged. She had a fiancé.
I hadn’t intentionally avoided Amber since our weekend together.
OK, that’s a lie. Maybe I had, although I still don’t want to admit that to myself.
I had tried to convince myself that it wouldn’t be a problem. That I could totally handle seeing her again, and be nothing but friendly with her, just like I had been before.
Then the first time she had come to my house with Laurie, I’d heard her voice in the downstairs hall and practically ran back to my room, hiding like a fool and feigning sleep when Laurie knocked on the door.
The demands of college meant that, as time had gone on, those visits home became less frequent, and when Laurie and Amber were at home at the same time, they spent a lot of time at Mella’s.
Whether that was Amber’s idea, and whether she, too, was actively avoiding me, I don’t know.
Either way, when they were at my house, I’d lock the door to my office and hide, insisting I was busy working.
Our promise that nothing would change between us had been broken, and I was sure I was the one who’d broken it, because Amber had moved on.
In spectacular fashion too. I’d heard about the new boyfriend one evening when Laurie and I were having dinner, and she assured me this one was serious.
I focused too much on the this one, and my jealous ass wondered how many there had been since me.
Which made me a complete fool, since I’d dated women too. Only a few. And I’d never been able to settle down or commit to any of them. I’d always found a reason to let them go.
But seven months later, Amber was engaged.
I guess this one really was serious.
I shift in my seat as Laurie cackles at the messages from friends that keep pouring in, her phone buzzing almost constantly.
I tell myself to get it together. This is Laurie’s night, celebrating her graduation.
Whatever stupid, sentimental, old man feelings I have, they’re not important.
And while seeing Amber with her fiancé wouldn’t be easy, it was what it was.
I’d get over it. This is what I’d wanted for her, right?
Just get over yourself, Rembrook. Be fucking happy for her.
The parking lot of the old country house is full when we pull up, and I recognise a few of the cars.
My parents are here, as well as Martin and his family.
Amber’s parents are parked right next to Mella’s car, and a man with reddish hair like Amber’s is retrieving two pre-school aged kids from an SUV while a pretty brunette stands beside him with an indulgent smile on her face as the kids fuss.
“That’s Amber’s oldest brother!” Laurie exclaims, and waves to the man and his partner as we pass. They wave back with big smiles, and the kid pauses their fussing to wave back. “Have you met Kieran?”
“No, he’d already moved out when I bought the house.”
“He’s really sweet.” Laurie giggles as she smoothes her dress over her legs. “He gave Ryan hell when he and Amber first started dating, oh my god.” She giggles, and my face flushes as I try to imagine the hell Kieran would give me if he knew what I’d done with his little sister.
Shut the fuck up and stop thinking about that.
I park my car, and get out to help Laurie pick her way across the dirty parking lot. My sister Felicity pulls up as we reach the front door, and Laurie jumps up and down waving. My sister’s son, Jackson, gets out of the car and barrels towards us, scooping Laurie up in his arms,
“We did it, cuz!” He says as Laurie shrieks. He puts Laurie down and ignores my outstretched hand, grabbing me in a bear hug.
I laugh and pat my nephew’s back, and I swear this kid has to be 6’7 at least. “You sure did, Jacks! Congratulations.”
“Head of his class, did I tell you?” My sister calls, her face glowing with pride.
“You told me, at least 60 times.” I finally extract myself from my nephew’s hug, and pat his shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Jacks.”
“Thanks, Theo.”
“Come on!” Laurie tugs on Jackson’s sleeve, and they both run into the house as Felicity takes my arm and plants a kiss on my cheek.
“How many times have you cried?” She asks me, and I laugh.
“Only about seventeen. Since 9am.”
Felicity laughs and shakes her head. “It’s not easy when you only have one, is it?
” She leans against my shoulder with a sigh as we walk into the house, following the sound of music and excited chatter.
“One minute, they’re a tiny baby in your arms, the next, they’re braving this big world on their own while all we can do is watch. ”
“What did mom always say? The days are long-”
“But the years are short,” Felicity finishes for me, and her voice wobbles. “They sure are.”
I pat her hand as we approach the open double doors at the back of the house, which lead out to the enormous yard.
The trees are hung with fairy lights that glitter amongst the lush foliage, music wafts through the air, and the entire scene is bathed in the hazy light of early evening.
The air is warm and scented with honeysuckle, and people turn to wave as they spot us.
Laurie is laughing and talking at volume with her cousins and her friends, and Mella is talking to my parents, her new husband at her side.