16 - Andy Jacobs
16
Andy Jacobs
Sometimes, I liked working with my best friend. He was the best person I could have ever chosen to tie myself to career-wise, and I had never once regretted the decision.
Other times, such as right now, when I was trying to tidy up some new supplies and pretending not to stare at the guy that was making my insides go nuts with flutters and warmth and tension and need , I didn't like it so much, because you see, it was not in Travis's nature to allow anyone even an inch of leeway that he didn't want to give, which meant that the bastard snuck up on me and shoved me into a closet, closing the door behind us, before setting himself in front of it, arms folded on his chest and staring at me.
“If this is where you're going to have your wicked way with me, I would have appreciated the heads up,” I said with a dry tone.
Travis only raised an eyebrow. “You don't have to anything to tell me?”
I looked away from him, feeling a creeping feeling on the back of my neck, like he was onto me.
“Nope. Just doing my job.”
“Right. So you mean you're not sleeping with the guy that you called the grumpiest, most stuck-up and irritating accountant of all time?”
That has been once , and Travis had found me in a moment of weakness, during the week that Dan and I had been pretending that we didn't want to suck each other’s brains out of our cocks, and I’d regretted it ever since.
I’d regretted it because I’d had the sinking suspicion that it would come back to bite me in the ass, and lo and behold, here it was.
Biting me.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” I still said, thankful that the supplies were still with me, which meant that I could busy myself and not look at him.
But of course, it didn't work.
Travis closed the distance between us, taking hold of my shoulder and turning me around so we were forced to stare at each other.
“Look at me in the eye and lie to me, I dare you.”
I bit the inside of my cheek.
The asshole was playing dirty.
I'd never once felt intimidated by his bad boy stare, the intimidating boxer glare that made you want to give up the fight before it had even started, but right now, I was sweating, and I had been going through a week of fucking Dan’s brains out, feeling all sorts of weird things that I didn’t want to look too closely at, and I just needed an out .
“So what if I am?” I asked, jaw set, unwilling to show weakness. “Are you going to spank me because I've been bad?”
Travis raised a dark eyebrow before he grinned. “If that's your kink, you should tell him, not me.”
“Then why are you so interested?”
Travis shrugged, finally putting some distance between us. “I just had a hunch, and wanted to be proven right.”
I glared in his direction. “You're not going to tell me that I'm making a mistake?”
“I mean, it's just a hookup, right? Dan might be the one making the mistake, but he's not my best friend, he already has one of those, so no need to get into that. I just thought you might want to know you’re as subtle as a neon sign, so if you want to keep your little slip in the down low, you should get that eye-fucking in check.”
For some reason, my gut tightened. “Thank you for the notes.”
Travis smirked, as if he could see the reaction that had on me. “You're welcome, and one last thing. Enjoy it while it lasts, he's going to be moving on from this soon, right? Two months. Better make the best of it.”
That day, I left the gym feeling like a storm cloud, and since it just so happened to be Friday, that meant that it was going-out day, experiment day, Dan-letting-loose day, and so we found ourselves again at the bar, surrounded by my friends, by a crowd of people all cheerful and having fun, and for once, I was the moody figure in all this, not even trying to fight it.
I did try my best to keep it to myself, though, but at one point things got just too much, and so I stole Dan away mid-conversation, and pushed him into what we had dubbed as our stall to kiss him stupid.
Dan allowed himself to be kissed, kissing back with almost as much intensity, which made my insides tingle and that irritated me further, and we kept going until we had to catch a break to actually breathe, because I was taking no prisoners tonight.
“Someone's in a mood, huh?” Dan asked, breathing roughly against me.
“Are you complaining?” I asked, nibbling on his neck. I felt like a fucking vampire when he was around, and I didn't even have the strength to stop myself. After a beat, though, I confessed, “I just fought with Travis.”
Kind of a lie, but it felt like the truth.
At least, I’d been pissed off at his intervention all afternoon.
“What about?” Dan asked, tightening his grip on the back of my hair. He was holding on to me, letting me have my way, and it did something to me, made my gut tighten and my heart squeeze with stupid longing.
“He was just being an asshole,” I said, holding him tighter against me.
“Guess it comes with the territory, right? Like attracts like.”
I bit him in retaliation, and he let out a low chuckle, one that vibrated all through me. We weren't even doing anything, only holding on to each other and making out, and yet it felt like everything, even if I didn't want it to.
There was a long second of silence between us, and I pulled back to stare at him, smile gone, a thoughtful expression on his face. There was a ball of emotion forming in my throat, but before I could say anything else, he said:
“I could make it better.”
My heart stopped for a second.
He said it so low between us, if I hadn't been basically on top of him, I might not have heard him. There was a note of uncertainty in his tone, one that I wanted to rip away.
We had been stuck to each other all night before we came in here, especially Dan, who had come closer to me, pressed himself to my side, all warm and smelling of his shampoo and his cologne, staring a little moodily at Miriam, who was still in town for a few more days, and who had grinned like a cat in his direction.
The fact that he might even feel a little possessive over me was enough to make me want to rip his clothes off right here and now, but I needed to pull the brakes between us. I needed this to not get more out of control than it already was, especially with Travis's words about Dan moving on from this—moving on from me— soon, so close to the forefront of my mind.
It had already been several weeks since Dan had shown up in my life. It meant that we had two or three weeks tops together left. It shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, I should have been glad that I would be going back to my peaceful Dan-less life, and yet I couldn't feel that.
I just stared at Dan, and asked, “Will you, baby? Will you be good for me and let me take my anger out on you?”
Dan’s breathing hitched. He was quiet for a long second before saying, “I’m yours to use, aren’t I?”
Opposite emotions warred inside me.
Still, I needed to take this for what it was.
“Then what are we waiting for?”
We made it home, and as we had last week, the door hadn’t even closed behind us when we were already trying to take each other’s clothes off. I kissed him all the way to the bedroom, my bedroom this time, because I was already breaking all of my rules, what was just one more?
I pushed him to the bed again, because I’d seen how much he’d loved it last Friday, and again, I was met with the sexiest overcome gasp, Dan’s lips parted and bitten already, eyes dark with desire.
I crawled on top of him, making it so he had to be lying down to face me. “Will you be good for me now, Dan?”
His nostrils flared, his already naked chest rising and falling quickly, and as much as it seemed a little bit difficult for him, he still nodded.
Dan always started a little more tense, more guarded, like he was still trying to put some emotional distance between us, and yet as we went along, he always started softening, each time a little bit more, giving in to his desires, to my hands exploring the whole of him, and even now he shivered, still holding on to a little control, but looking up at me like he wanted so bad to give it away.
Do it .
I wanted it. I wanted all of it. I wanted to push Dan, to break him, to have him at my mercy. I wanted to let all of my anger and frustration out on him because he was the cause .
Those pretty blue eyes.
That mouth.
That jaw.
The way he looked at me.
That sharp tongue that always fought me verbally but that gave in so sweetly once against my own, and I wanted nothing more than to discover all of his weaknesses and hoard them, push them like buttons, make him melt like butter left out in the sun until he was all mine, soft as putty in my hands.
I prepped him. Just like last time, he started getting twitchy, like he was liking it too much, so I wasn’t too surprised when he groaned against my mouth. “Just do it. Fuck me.”
“Do you have something against foreplay?” I asked playfully, feeling mean .
“Yes, because you’re coddling me, and I don’t need it.” He tightened his grip on my hair, giving it a tug that went straight to my balls. “Use me.”
My gut tightened, and much as I wanted to delay this further, edge him a little bit, I couldn’t, not anymore, not when he looked at me like that, so I kissed him, bit him, left him lying on the bed with a push and kept him down with my hips on top of him, because he was mine , and Dan seemed to get off on feeling my weight on him. Restrictions. Bodily ones at that.
I finally got the condom on and with generous lube–because I was so not hurting him, not on my watch, no matter what his impatience made him say–I started pushing into him, and his eyes widened, just like his lips. He tugged me closer to him and I drank in his overcome expression, something I hadn’t been able to do last Friday but had done several times now since then.
It never got old. Every twitch, every blush, every gasp, every little almost inaudible whine was everything to me. I wanted them, wanted to remember them, to have them forever in my memory because I knew we were on borrowed time and I hated it.
And because I hated it, I didn’t let Dan look away. I fucked him, face to face, chest against chest, his thighs around my hips, and I pushed into him, slowly, deeply, with full-on thrusts that rocked my world every time. I always worked up a sweat as I fucked him, because I kept trying to make it last longer, to really taste it, enjoy it, to savor every bite, and now it was no different.
I kept fucking and fucking into him, trailing soft, wet kisses on Dan’s face, on his neck, whispering dirty praise and being all mean when he wanted me to go faster, because it made his breath hitch when I didn’t, his cock became even harder when I teased him.
Dan was just so fucking gorgeous when I fucked him, and the thought haunted me that I would never get to see how much more he could soften, what he would look like when he kept discovering more of these secret little kinks, what it would be like to edge him for an entire week before fucking him all night, then finally letting him come.
How he’d beg. How he’d cry out for more. How he’d claw at my back to get close enough to me, and how he’d nuzzle his head onto my shoulder when we were done and he was finally satiated.
I wondered what Dan would look like happy .
And I hated that I would never see it.
Because the truth was, Dan had always been a problem to me, my sweetest temptation, the forbidden apple in the garden, because I’d always known that guys like Dan would never look twice at guys like me, and even if he did, now that he had, I knew that this wouldn’t last–it couldn’t.
Things like this didn’t have a happy ending.
They finished with a bolt of lightning and then they vanished like smoke, like they’d never been there at all.
I was now fucking Dan in earnest, desperately, and Dan was holding on to me for dear life, begging me to come.
“Andy, please, fuck –”
“Please, what, sweetheart?”
“Just–let me come–”
“Say you’re mine,” I said, getting rougher, harder, drilling into his prostate. “Here for whenever I want you. Say it.”
Dan looked like he was about to shatter, about to break, and I wanted him to shatter, to crumble, because I was crumbling, just like my excuses, just like all the walls I’d built to protect myself from him.
“I’m yours,” Dan said, the admission like it had been torn out of him.
Then I fucked him with everything I had, taking his cock and jerking it in time with my thrusts, and Dan finally came between us, his come going to my stomach and his, and I wanted to lather it all up, but I couldn’t, my own orgasm taking precedence as I thrust into him once, twice, before I came too.
I held onto his legs as I tried to push my cock deeper, push my come into him, even if there was obviously a latex barrier between us, I imagined there wasn’t. Imagined filling him up, marking him everywhere, knowing he was mine and no one else's.
It’s not going to happen.
We breathed heavily against each other, and after I managed to get the condom off and lay sideways on my bed, I pulled Dan against me, and we tangled up, kissing fervently, like Dan also knew we wouldn’t get too much longer like this.
One day, we’d have to wake up.
One day, we’d have to accept reality.
Guys like Dan weren’t meant for me.
And not even the sweet sting of his kisses managed to take away the ache that knowledge created inside my chest.