Chapter 4
“Hey, hey,” Leo said gently, coaxing him to standing. “It’s okay. Come here.”
Cody heard himself whine as Leo encircled him in his arms. He clung on tight, eyes squeezed shut, surrounded by warmth and safety for the first time in what felt like his entire life. He took deep lungfuls of the heady alpha scent in his nose, sun-warmed grass overlaid with fresh rain.
“That’s good,” someone was murmuring to him. “That’s so good, that’s perfect. Just relax for me now, sweetheart. You’re so good.”
Cody’s body was flushing hot, and he could feel—he could feel his slick production start in earnest, reacting to a desirable alpha.
Arousal coursed through him, for once eclipsing the pain of solitary heat.
He wanted…he wanted to be full. Wanted that closeness of someone inside him, their body pressed against his back.
Maybe their arms would wrap around Cody’s chest, holding him tenderly, like a real lover might. Like how Cody was being held right now.
But no one wants you. No one should ever want you. You don’t deserve that. You’re a weak omega, son. You can’t go around expecting the world to fall at your feet.
Cody resurfaced. “Fuck,” he gasped. He forced his fingers to unclench from the death grip they had on Leo’s sweater. “You’ve got to get out of here.”
“Cody—”
“I mean it, Leo!” Cody shoved himself backwards, away from the alpha and his warmth. Because that wasn’t just any alpha, it was his best fucking friend. “My—my libido inhibitor is wearing off. Please, I…I don’t want to beg you for something you don’t want to give.”
“Cody,” Leo said softly, “there’s nothing you could ask me for that I don’t already want to give you.”
Cody’s breath stuttered, vision blurring with want.
“No,” he said quickly, as his senses returned.
He shook his head and took another step back.
“That’s—that’s the heat scent talking. I know it is.
That’s why you need to…you need to leave before it gets worse.
” He wanted to claw the words back as soon as he said them, too desperate by half, but the dregs of the rational brain he still possessed knew it was a good idea for Leo to leave.
It was just—Cody hurt. He hurt so much, and it was so hard, it was so hard to keep hurting and hurting, and he was getting warm again, getting too hot and too cold in stages. The smell of Leo was everywhere, and he found himself taking another deep breath, trying to ground himself in it.
Leo smelled inviting and kind, like the person he was, and Cody would rather die than have his stupid fucking omega pheromones trick Leo into sharing Cody’s heat. “Please,” he whispered. “Don’t let me hurt you.”
“Cody, I’ve been in love with you for three goddamn years,” Leo growled.
Cody stared at him. “What?” He said blankly. “No, that—that’s the heat—”
“Remember that brutal game against the Seattle Sea Lions?” Leo interrupted, startling Cody silent with the abrupt topic change. “Like half the team walked away with an injury, but I managed to acquire both a concussion and a broken arm. Remember?”
“Wrotslavsky fucking tackled you to the ice,” Cody said, glaring at the memory. “But so what?”
Leo smiled at him, looking unaccountably fond. “Do you remember how you moved yourself into my house and insisted on waiting on me hand and foot?”
Cody licked his lips. Leo had been hurting, and Cody had wanted to help so badly.
Even three years ago, Leo had been one of Cody’s best friends—and one of Cody’s protectors; against the press, against other teams, fuck, sometimes it felt like against the entire world.
Cody had just wanted to do something nice for him.
Do what he could to help Leo stop hurting.
“I…no, I just…I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”
Leo took a step toward him, eyes focused in a way that pinned Cody to the spot. “You did all the chores, you brought me meals, you put up with me being a grumpy-ass bastard, and you missed going out for your twenty-first birthday because you were so focused on taking care of me.”
“Wouldn’t have been fun going out without you anyway,” Cody mumbled.
“You took every pillow and blanket that I owned and built nests for me in my bed and on the couch,” Leo said softly, still advancing. “And then you said it wasn’t good enough, and went back to your place to bring me your own nesting supplies.”
“I…” Cody didn’t know what to say. He’d just wanted to do whatever he could to help. To distract Leo from his hurts. He hadn’t even realized he’d been building nests. He wasn’t supposed to build nests. His dad—
“One night you fell asleep on the couch,” Leo continued, stopping right in front of where Cody was trembling on his feet. “And I saw my best friend asleep next to me in a nest he’d built for the both of us, and I thought, fuck, he’s so beautiful. I love him so much.”
Cody opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
Leo reached out and took Cody’s hands in his. “I’m not mindless. I can control myself. I will not do anything you don’t want. But if you trust me enough to try to help you stop hurting, then I will do my goddamn best to be an alpha worthy of you, and I will fucking thank you for the privilege.”
“Me?” Cody sucked in a shaky breath, searching Leo’s face. “You…you really want me?”
“I really love you,” Leo corrected gently. “But yes, that also means wanting you with everything I have.”
“You never said anything,” Cody accused.
Leo sighed. “Cody, you barely let me hug you. I wasn’t about to say anything and risk making you uncomfortable. I’m—I’m your fucking captain. I didn’t want to ever put you on the spot like that.”
“Sometimes…sometimes when you hug me, I start to slick up,” Cody admitted, unable to keep meeting Leo’s eyes.
“I couldn’t risk anyone finding out. Especially not—” a wave of fresh, hot pain washed over him, and his knees gave out.
Distantly, he heard Leo shouting his name, the alpha hurriedly moving to catch him as Cody fell.
When Cody opened his eyes again, it was to find that he and Leo were sitting on the floor, Cody tucked into Leo’s lap. Leo had his arms wrapped around him, and he was nosing at Cody’s hair making whining noises.
“S-sorry,” Cody managed.
“Fuck, Cody,” Leo rasped. “Are you okay?”
“S’okay,” Cody tried weakly. “It’s normal.”
“This is normal?” Leo growled. Before Cody could reply, Leo continued. “You know what? No, I don’t fucking care if it is or not. Tell me how to help.”
Cody pressed his cheek against Leo’s chest, breathing in deep. “This helps,” he said muzzily, surprising himself. But it was true. Being held by Leo and surrounded by his scent was making his headache and cramping calm down. “Why does this help?”
Leo’s arms tightened around him for just a moment before he loosened his grip. “Did no one ever explain to you the science of pheromone intermingling? You should have learned about it in fucking high school health class.”
Cody rubbed his cheek against Leo’s sweater. “I was homeschooled, remember?” he mumbled. “Mostly I learned one hundred and one ways not to make an alpha mad.”
Leo growled again. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Hundred and two ways, maybe,” Cody said, finally giving into the urge to tuck his face into the crook of Leo’s neck. Fuck, Leo smelled amazing. He nuzzled closer, taking a deep breath.
The growling cut off abruptly. “Uh…” Leo cleared his throat. “Okay, so, a large part of heat is pheromone production, yeah?”
“’Kay.” Cody did know that much.
“As an alpha, I’m producing pheromones too,” Leo said. His arms tightened again, but all it did was make Cody feel secure in Leo’s hold. “Ones that you’re much more receptive to right now.”
“’Kay,” Cody mumbled again.
“Being in close proximity with the pheromones of a ‘safe’ alpha, or a desired one, especially with direct contact, helps omegas sort of…calm down before a heatwave. Makes them feel less desperate. That’s why when omega kids can’t be on suppressants they can nest with an alpha family member, or why asexual omegas just need to cuddle with alpha partners or friends. ”
“Oh.” Shame crashed through him. “I…really wish that had been explained to me.” Not that his dad would have been caught dead nesting with Cody when he’d been a kid, but he…he might’ve been more inclined to hang around his team. They were as safe as anyone Cody knew.
“How long do you think you have until your heatwave?” Leo asked, voice back to gentle.
Cody shivered and tried to press closer to Leo. “Not long.”
“Okay,” Leo murmured. “Okay. Will you let me help you?”
Cody swallowed. “I’m really—I’m not forcing you, or guilting you into—”
“You’re not forcing me into anything,” Leo said firmly. “I would do a lot more than take care of you during heat to keep you from hurting so much you collapse.”
Which—
No. Maybe Leo wasn’t scent induced, but guilting him into an evening of Cody in heat was just as bad. Maybe worse, because Leo was in his right mind.
“I’ve managed this long!” Cody snapped, forcing himself to pull backwards, out of Leo’s embrace. He bit down on the whine at the new distance and forced out, “Just because you feel bad for me because my heats suck doesn’t mean you should have to—”
“Cody, I will fucking beg,” Leo gritted out, reeling him back in.
“And if you never want me to mention it again after tonight, I won’t.
But I love you. I’m attracted to you. I—I think you care about me.
The circumstances aren’t ideal, but the thought of taking care of you during a heat stars in like my top three fantasies.
It would not be a hardship, and you are not a burden.
” Leo leaned back just enough to meet Cody’s eyes.
“Please. Please let me do this for you.”
Cody was only so strong. He’d tried and tried and tried to give Leo outs, and he just…
He wanted to stop hurting for once in his goddamn life. “Okay.”