Chapter 16
The pub next to the hotel was exactly as you would imagine an Irish pub to be.
Wood-panelled ceiling, long granite-covered bar with glasses hanging over it, leather upholstered booths and stained-glass windows running about the top.
With the live music ringing out, it felt as traditional as we could have got.
‘Aren’t they great?’ said Mags, leaning across the table.
‘So great,’ I muttered back.
I saw the man that she’d been in the alley with, tapping his foot as he played the fiddle.
Between Mags’ acrylic nails, her new haircut and what must be a designer outfit, she looked fantastic and I hoped that the effort wasn’t for the man on stage. She was still acting jumpy, but I was going to take Caz’s advice and let it all go.
‘Are we planning on spending all night here?’ asked Caz. ‘It’s just that I saw this really nice bar round the corner, and they had a Corrs tribute band, and I—’
‘We’ve got to stay here.’ Mags shot her a look. ‘The craic’s great.’
‘Just a thought,’ Caz muttered into her drink.
I watched the interaction, knowing that I needed to talk to Mags. Caz had been right: I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. But something was up and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
‘Does anyone need another drink?’ I asked and there were a few nods around the table.
‘I’ll give you a hand,’ said Paul, climbing out of his chair. He wobbled a little as he stood up, and Amy had to steady him.
She rolled her eyes behind his back and I smiled compassionately back. Perhaps more drinks weren’t what he needed.
The boys had come back from the whiskey tasting having tasted what seemed like all of the whiskeys in Dublin. Luckily for them, and I guess for us, the food in the pub had been giant portions, and it had gone some way towards soaking up the alcohol.
We found a quiet end of the bar, which gave us space, and Paul took advantage of it to lean on, propping himself up.
‘I don’t think we’re going to get served here,’ I said, watching the barmen who spent most of their time at the other end of the bar. The quietness down here suddenly made sense.
‘We’re not in a rush, are we? We’ve got all night.’ He grinned.
I liked drunk Paul. He was all happy and smiley, and would get the giggles at everything.
‘That’s true, I guess. The music’s good.’
‘And the company’s even better.’
‘Of course it is.’ I looked over at the table where Caz and Amy were deep in conversation.
Bertrand looked like he was doing his best to follow what was being said, but I couldn’t help feel for him after what Caz had told me.
Graham, Mags and Noah were watching the band, Mags leaning over to Noah to point things out every so often.
I took in Mum’s empty chair; she should be back by now. She’d headed out a while ago to get cash from the machine, but it shouldn’t have taken this long. I knew I should have gone with her, but she’d laughed me off when I’d suggested it.
‘I wish we didn’t have to go back tomorrow,’ said Paul.
‘All good things must come to an end.’
‘I know, but it’s been the best, hasn’t it? Yours and Noah’s birthday celebrations, they’re always such belters.’
‘I’m not sure the one where I met you guys was for you, with the oysters.’
He pretended to retch.
‘You know, I’ve never eaten once since. But I guess I was talking about the last one, in London, when Noah came back.’
‘Yeah, that was a great night.’
I looked over my shoulder at the door when it opened, and my stomach sank, still worrying about Mum when it wasn’t her coming through it.
‘So good,’ said Paul, leaning even further onto the bar. ‘But I think I was more gutted than Noah when you two didn’t get together that night.’
It was like I’d been winded and for a second I couldn’t speak. I snapped my attention away from the door and back to Paul, and he pointed his finger in my direction.
‘Don’t think that I didn’t see you two grinding on the dancefloor, and when you snuck off upstairs.’
I still got shivers over my spine when I remembered Noah’s hands creeping up my thighs.
‘But I don’t think Noah was gutted.’ I gripped my hands onto the bar; still, after all these years, the memory hurt. ‘He seemed pretty relieved the next day.’
‘That’s not the way I remember it.’
‘Well, that’s the way it happened.’ I was snappier than I should have been, but clearly Paul had had so much whiskey that he was rewriting the past. ‘Noah was quite clear the next morning that he’d been a bit drunk and horny.’
He gave an eye roll much like Amy’s, only his wasn’t quite as polished. She was obviously far more practised in them.
‘Yeah, because his pride was dented when you pushed him off. That’s all he kept banging on about when we stayed at his parents’.
’ He went to shake his head, stumbling after as he tried to regain his balance.
‘He’d come back from Australia and he was convinced that you two were going to get together. ’
My knuckles turned white as I gripped harder, grateful to the bar for keeping me upright.
‘It probably wasn’t a bad thing though, was it?’ Paul shrugged. ‘If you hadn’t shot him down, he wouldn’t be here now with the lovely Mags. And Graham’s a top bloke too, even if he is a Spurs fan.’ He turned to the table, and raised his arm at them, oblivious to the can of worms he’d just opened.
The room was starting to spin and I felt lightheaded.
All those times in the dark of the night when I’d let my mind wander to that day and night, thinking of Noah, his touch, his words, thinking I’d imagined it all.
But what if what Paul was saying was true and that hadn’t been a figment of my imagination?
Paul’s eyes were closing and I gave him a quick nudge.
‘Shall we get you back to everyone?’ I said, giving up all hope that we were going to get served here, and right now a drink was the furthest thing from my mind.
I led him back to the table, and I grabbed my coat and muttered something about getting some air then headed outside.
The ice chill of the wind hit my cheeks, causing them to burn and the cold crept around the rest of my body through my open coat, but I didn’t care. The coolness was grounding me and helping to slow the breath I was struggling to catch.
‘Lucy.’
I turned to see Noah and my knees almost buckled. He was coming from the entrance of the hotel, his big digital SLR in his hands.
‘Hey,’ I said, biting my lips together. I took in the details of him like I was looking at him afresh. His coat was pulled up around the back of his neck and I remembered my fingers brushing across his neck this morning when I’d done the same.
‘You alright? You’re looking a little pale.’
‘Just needed some air,’ I said, closing my eyes for a split second, trying to shake the thoughts away. ‘Where did you get off to?’
‘I just popped up to our room; Mags thought we should take some proper photos.’
‘You didn’t see Mum?’
He shook his head.
‘Do you want me to help you look for her?’
‘No, it’s fine. You go get back in the warm.’
I stood back to let another woman into the pub.
‘I don’t want to leave you out here alone. You must be freezing.’
He took a step towards me and pulled my coat across me and tied the belt and I instantly felt the heat, but I don’t think it had anything to do with the coat.
Thoughts were racing around my head. About me liking him four years ago, and him liking me too.
About this afternoon and the conversation in the snow.
About Mags and the musician. What if it was all pointing to the same thing, that I should tell Noah how I feel?
That I should follow my gut? Wasn’t he telling me that’s what I should do?
Maybe he was hinting at it because he still felt the same?
Maybe he feels the inexplicable magnetic pull that I do?
He was still so close to me, close enough that I could reach out and touch him.
There was a ringing and I didn’t notice at first that it was coming from my bag.
‘Are you going to get that?’ said Noah, nodding towards it with his head. ‘It could be your mum.’
‘Yeah … yeah.’ I scrambled, my hands shaking to get the phone, and it was Mum. ‘Hey, where are you?’
I could hear a din in the background; wherever she was, it was noisy.
‘I’m in the Stag’s Head, but I can’t see you all. Did you move?’
I took a couple of paces back and looked at the sign over the door.
‘We’re at Callaghan’s, by the hotel.’
There was a pause on the line.
‘I can’t hear you, hang on.’
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
‘Is she OK?’ Noah asked.
I covered the mouthpiece of the phone. ‘Wrong pub.’
‘Right, I can hear now. Where are you?’
‘We’re at Callaghan’s.’
She tutted loudly.
‘You could have waited for me to come back before you moved.’
I rubbed at my brow.
‘Mum, we’ve been there all night. That’s where we ate. You know, by the hotel.’
There was a pause.
‘But. Hmm. OK, um.’
‘I’ll tell you what. Stay there, I’ll look on Google Maps and I’ll come and find you.’
‘No, I’m sure I can—’
‘It’s fine. I’m hanging up now, but I’ll come and get you.’
I hung up the phone and waited for Google Maps to load.
‘She OK?’
‘Yeah, she just went into the wrong pub and thought we were there.’ I furrowed my brow; it didn’t make any sense.
‘I get that. All these streets look the same, and the pubs too. Is it far?’
He leaned over my shoulder.
‘No, it looks like it’s only a few streets away.’
‘Hey, what are you guys doing out here? It’s freezing,’ said Caz.
‘Mum’s gone to the wrong pub; I’m just going to go and get her.’
‘I’ll come too,’ said Noah.
‘You don’t need to.’
Caz put her hand on Noah’s arm. ‘I’ll go; I think Mags is looking for you, anyway.’
Noah looked between us, and nodded. ‘I’d better give her the camera.’
‘It’s this way,’ I said to Caz, trying to work out if I was following the dot on my phone the right way.
‘Everything alright there?’ I could hear in her voice what she was really asking.
‘Yeah, fine. I wasn’t going to talk to him about Mags.’