Returning to Whickerton Grove
Chapter twenty-four
Despite the threatening look of dark, heavy clouds looming in the sky, rain did not fall when they set off the next morning.
Although Christopher still felt torn, one part of him wishing to return to Ireland while the other wanted nothing more than to retrace his steps to Whickerton Grove.
Much had been said the night before, and his chest felt lighter than it ever had since that day six years ago.
Finally, Juliet knew the truth. She knew why he had left, and she knew about his son.
Indeed, it felt as though a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders, allowing him to breathe more easily.
Yet…where did they stand now? Christopher could not say.
As they rode down the road, his gaze occasionally moved to Mr. MacKinnear.
By now, he knew nothing had ever been between him and Juliet.
Still, for her to tell such a lie, she truly had to have wanted him to leave.
He had hurt her, and Christopher knew he would never forgive himself for it.
He had been terrified of telling the truth.
Now, he was terrified of what his lies might have done. Where would they go from here?
Countless times throughout the day, Christopher felt Juliet’s gaze turn to him. Sometimes, their eyes met, and she would smile at him. Other times, she quickly glanced away, as though not wanting him to know whatever was on her mind.
Christopher was dying to talk to her, to find out how she felt. He had finally confessed his love, and so had she. But…?
Unfortunately, Mr. MacKinnear’s presence made that impossible. Even when the Scotsman rode ahead or fell behind, Christopher could not bring himself to ask the questions that burned in his soul. He forced himself to wait, knowing that the moment needed to be theirs.
Theirs alone.
And so, when Whickerton Grove finally came into view, everything was still as unresolved as before.
Christopher’s heart beat wildly in his chest, and impatience began to flood his blood as he dismounted and then quickly moved to assist Juliet.
It was no more than an excuse to be close to her again, to feel her hands upon his arms as he helped her down.
The look in her eyes was tentative as well as yearning, matching the slow but meaningful smile that teased her lips.
Christopher was mesmerized, and all but forgot the world around him until a loud commotion erupted from the door.
Not surprisingly, Juliet’s absence had been noted, and now, the rest of the Whickerton clan came pouring out of the front hall, their faces eager and their eyes curious. Instantly, their voices rose to the heavens, as they all seemed to be speaking at once.
“Juliet, what has happened?”
“You left without a word. We were so worried.”
“Did you elope with Keir?” Although knowing better now, Christopher flinched at that one.
“We were afraid you’d miss the ball.”
While Grandma Edie remained in the background, a most amused smile upon her lips, it was Troy who stepped forward, his pale blue eyes going back and forth between his sister and Christopher. Yet he did not say a word, did not ask a question. His jaw tightened, and his shoulders drew back.
Christopher could not help but think that Troy disapproved, that he had not wanted Christopher to return. It was time they talked about everything, with nothing held back.
Although more questions kept coming, Lord Whickerton quickly ushered everyone inside and out of the cold.
Moments later, they were all seated in the drawing room near a roaring fire and with a hot cup of tea in their hands.
Expectant eyes moved from Juliet to Mr. MacKinnear and then to Christopher.
Perhaps it would have been wise to talk on the road after all.
Now, here, Christopher had no clue what to say or how to explain where they had been and what had happened.
From the look on her face, neither did Juliet.
Fortunately, Mr. MacKinnear came to their rescue.
“As much as we would like to tell ye all that’s happened,” he said, looking around the room at all of them, “we’re afraid we canna.
” His gaze moved to the dowager countess seated nearest to the fireplace, a rather conspiratorial look passing between them.
“’Tis not our secret to tell as we were sent on an errand by another. ”
Instantly, all eyes turned to the dowager. “Mother, what have you done now?” Lord Whickerton asked with a slightly exasperated huff.
“Another errand?” Phineas, Louisa’s husband, asked with a smirk, clearly amused by the level of secret-keeping currently abounding within the Whickerton clan.
Indeed, even Christopher had taken note of the fact that no one yet knew why the dowager had invited Mr. MacKinnear to visit them at Whickerton Grove.
Yet everyone was certain that a most serious reason lay at its root.
Like the others, Christopher, too, had noted that the Scotsman had come and gone several times over the past few weeks, tending to rather mysterious errands.
As it was the dowager’s secret, of course, no one knew anything about it and would not until she decided the time had come to make it known.
However, for the Scotsman to pretend another such errand had been the reason for their disappearance when Christopher knew that to be wrong made him wonder. Was it wrong? Or had he and Juliet merely acted out another one of Grandma Edie’s plans without them even being aware of it?
Shaking his head, Christopher chuckled. He would not put it past the old woman.
“I do not have the slightest inkling what you’re talking about,” Grandma Edie intoned rather solemnly; yet mischief sparkled in her eyes, and she did not even bother trying to hide it.
“All I do know is that there is a ball here tomorrow night and a lot still needs to be done.” Her gaze moved to her granddaughters.
Christopher frowned, noting the way the sisters all but jumped to their feet, their heads nodding in agreement. Then they quickly grabbed hold of Juliet’s hands and pulled her out the door. Indeed, if he was not at all mistaken, it looked very much as though another plan was afoot.
A shadow fell over Christopher, and as he turned away from the door, he found Troy standing in front of him. “We need to talk,” his friend said meaningfully, his voice tense, not unlike the muscles in his jaw and neck.
Christopher nodded and then rose to his feet. “Of course.” He had seen this coming, and yet he could not help but wonder at the deep emotions he had seen on his friend’s face. Did Troy truly disapprove of him? Would he rather his sister marry another?
Following his friend down the hall, Christopher almost tripped over his own feet at the thought.
Yes, he had dreamed of marrying Juliet for years, and yet had never quite allowed that thought to voice itself clearly, afraid that if he admitted to himself what it was he truly wanted, it would only hurt more to know it could never be.
But things had changed now, had they not?
What would happen if he asked Juliet to marry him?
Would she agree? Or could there be reasons which would cause her to carefully consider his offer?
After holding the door open for Christopher, Troy closed it behind them. His eyes were narrowed, and Christopher could feel his friend’s calculating gaze upon him. “You left,” Troy finally said. It was a statement, and yet also question.
Christopher nodded. “I did.”
Troy’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. Then he turned away and strode over to the fireplace, resting one elbow upon its mantle as he looked at Christopher over his shoulder. “And yet you are here.” Another statement. Another question.
Approaching his friend, Christopher made up his mind. Enough lies had been told. Enough secrets had been kept. “What is it you wish to know? Ask it, and I shall answer you honestly. I promise.”
At his words, the expression on Troy’s face softened. It was as though a mask slid off, revealing a man exhausted and in need of a reprieve. “I am not your enemy, nor do I wish to be.” Troy’s eyes looked into Christopher’s. “I need you to believe that.”
Christopher nodded. “I never thought so. Not for a moment.” He stepped toward his friend. “Neither do you believe that I hold any ill intentions toward your sister.”
Slowly, Troy nodded. “You are correct; yet I have been wrong before.” He stepped away from the mantle and faced Christopher directly. “Tell me here and now what it is you want. Why did you come back? Why did you not leave? What,” he took a step closer, a warning in his eyes, “are your intentions?”
“I love her,” Christopher blurted out, surprised at the little dance his heart did just then. “I’ve always loved her, yet I never knew how much until I thought her lost to me.”
Troy nodded. “And?”
“I wish to marry her,” Christopher said honestly. “Yet more needs to be said. We—”
“Does she know of your son?”
Christopher froze. “You…You know?” For a second, he wondered if perhaps the dowager countess had shared this information with her grandson. “Who told you?”
Troy scoffed. “Am I correct to assume that my grandmother also knows?” He shook his head.
“No, she did not tell me. When you left without a word,” Troy’s gaze narrowed accusingly, “I watched my sister torture herself for weeks, months, wondering what she had done to drive you away, to lose your friendship.” His lips pressed into a thin line. “So, I made some inquiries.”
Christopher nodded in acknowledgment. “I never meant to keep this from you, from her. I simply did not know what to do. It was a mistake, and yet the thought that my son had never been born is pure torture. I cannot look at him and see a mistake. I cannot say I’m sorry for what happened because a part of me simply is not.
It cannot be.” He threw up his hands, realizing how much he had wanted to talk to his friend about this, how much he had wanted his counsel.
“It was one moment, one single moment, and it changed everything. I did not plan it. I did not see it coming. It simply happened, and afterward, I felt like such a fool.” He looked up and met Troy’s gaze. “Do you know what that’s like?”
To his surprise, his friend nodded slowly, the look in his eyes distant.
Frowning, Christopher took another step toward his friend. “Nora?” he asked carefully.
Troy almost flinched at the sound of her name.
His face paled, and a look of deep anguish came to his eyes.
Then, however, he shook himself, chasing away whatever thoughts her name had conjured.
He met Christopher’s eyes with a hard stare.
“Speak to Juliet and do it quickly.” He moved closer, his gaze dark and threatening.
“You are my friend, but if you hurt her again, I will end you. Is that understood?”
Slowly nodding his head up and down, Christopher could barely help the smile that threatened to claim his face. Indeed, he had always loved the Whickertons for their fierce protectiveness, wishing he could be one of them. “Of course.” He placed a hand on Troy’s shoulder. “You have my word.”