In Preparation for the Ball
Chapter twenty-five
“Do you like it?” Christina asked as Juliet stood upon a small pedestal surrounded not only by her sisters and cousin but also by a rather intimidating number of mirrors.
She was entranced—a bit shocked, too—by her own appearance, seeing her own eyes staring back at her, as she moved from one foot onto the other, her skirts swishing around her legs.
“Oh, I think it looks perfect on you!” Louisa exclaimed, seated in a comfortable armchair. Anne and their sisters nodded in agreement.
“Truly?” Juliet asked, her gaze sweeping not only over the exquisite gown, shining in a rare green but also over the elaborate hairstyle and the sparkling emeralds adorning her neck.
Harriet nodded eagerly. “You look beautiful, dearest Jules. I have no doubt that you’ll catch the eye of every man at tomorrow’s ball.”
I only wish to catch the eye of one man, Juliet thought, still frowning at her own appearance. Although she could not deny that her sisters were right—the gown looked beautiful—she felt…odd wearing it.
Juliet had never minded not being the center of attention.
She rather preferred standing on the edge of the ballroom, able to observe others while remaining in the shadows herself.
She did not need praise and admiration, and she despised compliments made out of politeness or duty alone.
The only thing Juliet ever wanted was to be seen by those who mattered to her.
By Christopher.
And now he had seen her, had he not? Even without fancy dresses and emeralds glittering around her neck. He had seen her. The real her. And he had kissed her.
Standing in front of all these mirrors, surrounded by her sisters and her cousin, Juliet experienced a moment of disbelief, wondering if the past few days had truly happened.
Had she truly set out with Keir in pursuit of Christopher?
Had she truly asked him if he was in love with her?
Had he truly confessed his love? Had he truly… kissed her?
So much had happened since they had come upon Christopher on the road. So much had been said and asked that their kiss had almost slipped her mind, pushed aside by more pressing matters. And yet it had happened, had it not?
“Whatever you’re thinking of right now,” Harriet remarked with a big grin upon her face, jarring Juliet from her thoughts, “hold on to it because it puts the most fetching blush on your face!”
It took a moment for Juliet to comprehend her sister’s words; however, when she did, she felt herself blush even more deeply with mortification, wondering if Harriet could truly guess what was going through her mind.
Harriet could not possibly know what had happened between Juliet and Christopher, could she?
No one knew…except for Keir…and most likely their grandmother.
“Why are you blushing?” Christina asked gently before casting a look over her shoulder at their sisters. “Are you so excited for tomorrow’s ball?”
Juliet shrugged, relieved to drop her gaze and let it sweep downward over her gown. “I cannot help but feel that this is wrong. I don’t feel well dressing up like this. It’s not…me.”
“You look beautiful,” Anne remarked, a glowing smile upon her face. “Everyone will be looking at you.”
“I don’t want everyone looking at me,” Juliet exclaimed, possibly with a bit too much vehemence.
Her sisters eyed her curiously, consternation marking their features. “You don’t?” Louisa remarked from her spot by the fireplace. “And here I thought it was only Grandma Edie’s interference that kept you from mingling all these years.”
While Leonora refrained from saying a single word—her wide blue eyes meeting Juliet’s every so often—Christina, Harriet and Anne wholeheartedly agreed. “Now that we’re all here,” Christina exclaimed, “we thought we could find a way to pry her from your side.”
Harriet nodded eagerly. “Yes.” She grinned at the others. “Strength in numbers.”
Juliet’s sisters laughed. “Do you not wish to marry?” Anne inquired thoughtfully, one hand on her slightly rounded belly. “And have children? I always assumed you did.”
Juliet sighed. What was she to say? Before she could even attempt to explain anything to her sisters, she needed to speak to Christopher. She needed to—
“Or have you already lost your heart?” Louisa asked with a shrewd expression upon her face. “Do you not wish for us to doll you up because you’ve already caught the eye of a gentleman?”
As unease spread through Juliet, eagerness spread over her sisters’ faces. “Is it true?” Christina exclaimed, her eyes wide, before she exchanged a meaningful look with Harriet. “Who is it? You must tell us!”
Juliet felt like a gazelle cornered by a pride of hungry lions.
“Keir!” Harriet exclaimed, a triumphant look upon her face. “It has to be him!” She turned to look at her sisters. “That is why Grandma Edie invited him here!” She turned back to Juliet. “Isn’t it? We are right, aren’t we? We have been all along!”
“Do you truly think so?” Anne inquired, saving Juliet from having to conjure an answer out of nowhere. “Why then does she send him on so many errands? Whatever they are.”
“But who else could it be?” Harriet threw in, her gaze narrowed as she watched Juliet try not to squirm where she stood. “Or we’re wrong and—?” She broke off and frowned. “Why can’t you tell us where you went these past few days and why?”
Juliet heaved a deep sigh as she found herself the focus of five sets of eyes. “I’m sorry I cannot,” she mumbled, worried the pulse hammering in her neck might give her away. Her sisters knew her well. Was it even possible that they would believe her?
As a collective, all their shoulders slumped. “I never knew you to be one who kept secrets,” Louisa grumbled, shaking her head disappointedly. Still, Juliet could not shake the feeling that her sister seemed oddly pleased with Juliet’s answer.
Once again, Juliet felt as though she did not see something that was right in front of her. As though there was a secret, and she was the only one unaware of it.
“Let’s change the topic,” Anne suggested with a compassionate smile at Juliet.
Juliet inclined her head to her gratefully as she carefully stepped down from the pedestal, uncertain if she truly ought to wear this gown to the ball the next day.
“Is Sarah coming tomorrow?” Anne asked, seating herself next to Christina on Juliet’s bed.
Christina’s face darkened. “I wrote to invite her, of course, but—”
“Only her?” Leonora interrupted with a raised brow.
“Of course not,” Christina replied with a huff. “I asked Mother to address the invitation to her parents, but I suppose it did not make a difference. They will not let her come here, believing us responsible for their failed marriage plans.”
“I’m sorry,” Harriet said with a sigh. “I—”
“Don’t be sorry,” Christina interjected, placing a hand upon her sister’s. “You kept Sarah from being sold into a marriage to a most awful man, a man who belonged behind bars if indeed English law saw fit to punish his kind.”
Leonora’s face fell at the mention of her attacker, and the sisters quickly moved on. “If only she could attend,” Christina murmured. “It would have been the perfect opportunity to introduce her to Christopher.”
Juliet’s heart stumbled, and as she looked up, she found herself looking into Leonora’s eyes. Her sister had not moved and did not say a word. Yet the look in her eyes spoke volumes.
“Then we must find some other way to have them meet,” Louisa remarked in a tone that suggested that solution should have been obvious to everyone. “The next Season is—”
“We cannot wait that long,” Christina interjected vehemently, fear for her friend tinging her voice. “Who knows whom her parents will choose next?”
“Should we simply speak to Christopher?” Harriet suggested with a shrug. “Perhaps he’d be willing to meet her. It would be much easier if we didn’t have to maneuver both to a certain place. Perhaps with his cooperation, we—”
“No!” Juliet exclaimed without thinking, shock slamming into her with an overwhelming force as her sisters turned to stare at her with wide eyes.
“I…I mean…” She swallowed, trying her best to ignore the contemplative looks on her sisters’ and cousin’s faces.
“I feel quite fatigued. Would you mind if we continued this conversation tomorrow?”
Or never.
Although Juliet could have sworn she saw suspicion and perhaps even a spark of triumph light up her sisters’ eyes, they complied without another question, once again looking oddly pleased.
Perhaps she was imagining things. After all, the last few days had been rather eventful, and she did feel exhausted.
In more ways than one.
After the others had filed out of Juliet’s bedchamber, their voices still echoing to her ears as they moved down the corridor, Leonora paused on the threshold, her blue eyes returning to meet Juliet’s. “I believe you finally know what you want,” Leonora whispered with a gentle smile on her face.
Juliet sighed. “If only I knew what he wanted.”
“Then ask him,” Leonora advised, squeezing Juliet’s hand encouragingly before following the others.
Closing the door behind herself, Juliet closed her eyes, resting her head against the smooth wood.
Did she know? So much had happened, and Juliet had not had the time to process it all.
Had Christopher’s confession changed anything about how she felt about him?
Could she accept his son in her life? Christopher loved him; that much she was absolutely certain of.
Little Sebastian.
Juliet smiled despite the tension that held her in its talons. What did he look like? Did he have Christopher’s kind brown eyes? Perhaps even his namesake’s unruly hair? Or did he look like his mother?
Alice was her name.
Moving over to the window, Juliet looked out at the horizon and watched as darkness slowly fell over the world. Could she be a mother to another woman’s child? The thought instantly conjured an image of little Samantha as the girl flung herself into Christina’s arms.
Yes, perhaps she could. Perhaps she ought to speak to her sister and ask her counsel. If anyone could understand, it would be Christina. Yet…if she did, what was she to say without revealing all that had happened?
Juliet sighed and rested her heated forehead against the cool windowpane.
Never had she kept secrets from her family.
Yet she had never breathed a word to anyone about how she felt about Christopher.
Admittedly, it had not felt like a lie or even an omission at the time, for she had not even admitted her true feelings to herself, afraid of the consequences.
Only now, everything was different. Christopher loved her, and she loved him. Should life not be simple now? Did love mean that he wished to marry her? Did love mean that she could also love his child?
His, but not hers.
Every child deserved love, and Juliet knew she could not be selfish if it brought heartache to an innocent little soul.
Too well did she remember Christopher’s suffering because of his parents’ neglect, their disapproval, as though their hearts had never opened to him.
Was it possible that hers would never open to little Sebastian? How was she to know?
Heaving a deep sigh, Juliet rang for her maid to assist her out of this monstrosity of a gown. As beautiful as it was, she did not feel like herself in it.