Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
CASH
This is not fair. Yet, I fucking knew this would happen if I allowed Onyx to drive the boat today!
But I didn’t have a choice. I would protect Lie’s secret with my life, which seriously left me one option.
One. No matter if I was forced to make this decision over and over again, I will always choose Onyx because he will keep this secret.
Now what, though? He can’t just say he loves me and then… what am I supposed to do with that? Since we were kids? That’s not even possible. I don’t believe him. I want to throw a fit and yell that he’s lying. Why is he lying like that? Why would he be so cruel?
Every song is about me…
Fresh tears sting my eyes as I stare at Onyx. I’ve never seen this man cry. Not even when his father died. Why are the shiny tears in his eyes undoing me right now?
I blink rapidly and force myself to look away. “You’re such a jerk,” I mutter. There’s nowhere for me to go right now. The backs of my legs are pinned to the wide, bed-like area at the front of the boat. He’s practically pressed against me.
“I am,” Onyx agrees.
“You’re not supposed to agree! Defend yourself so I can be mad at you!”
“I’m an asshole. I hurt you, and you’re the very last person I ever want to hurt. Every breath I take is for you, and I need you to forgive me. I promise that I’ll make it up to you every single day for the rest of our lives if you give me another chance to be the man you deserve.”
A tear tracks down my cheek. Stupid songwriters. They’re so stupidly eloquent with their stupid words. Stupid!
His fingers brush my chin and gently bring my eyes back to his. “I love you, Cash. You’re the best thing in my life, and I’ve been so fucking miserable without you. Please. One more chance. I swear to you, I’ll never do anything that will result in me needing to apologize again.”
It’s unfair that I believe him.
“My love has always been yours. Only yours,” he murmurs, and his lips brush mine.
“I swear to all the old gods and on Lie’s cockerabelia collection that I’ll drown you if you ever hurt me again.”
The words are barely out of my mouth when Onyx has me wrapped up in his arms and his mouth firmly on mine. Kissing Onyx is like coming home. Everything inside me felt so cold and dead since he told me he couldn’t be with me. The sudden light feels shocking.
My arms wrap around his neck all on their own. Hell, my entire body is ignoring the furious voice that is my brain. He hasn’t begged enough yet! He hasn’t apologized enough. I can’t forgive him so easily.
No matter how loud that voice is, it’s being drowned out by the rest of my body.
My lungs have finally stopped feeling so stiff.
My heart races wildly in my chest. My stomach dances and flips.
I think even my dumb soul reaches for this man who kisses me with reverence.
Like a starving man. Desperate for the taste of me. The oxygen from my lungs alone.
The boat rocks abruptly as another drives quickly by the outlet between the two islands where we’re parked. We topple over, landing awkwardly and forcing laughter from me as we struggle not to fall off the cushions.
Onyx pulls me onto the bed and partially covers me with his body. The familiar weight of hum and how much I missed it make me groan. It’s my romanticized opinion of Onyx that he’s going to be the only one who ever fits like this against me. The only guy who will ever make me feel the way he does.
His hand brushes my skin where my shirt rose when we fell. It feels electric. Sparks jump between our skin, and I’m hungry for more. I tug at his shirt, and our kissing pauses while we pull his shirt over his head. He doesn’t stop there and helps me struggle out of mine.
That’s not enough, though. I need all our clothes off.
I don’t even care that we’re in public. Broad daylight.
Anyone and everyone can see us. Yes, we’re off the beaten path, and most boats don’t come over here because of the sandbar, which I hadn’t known about until Onyx pointed it out, but still. Anyone can see us.
If they see us, the news will travel back to Ben before we even make it to shore.
That doesn’t dissuade me from stripping down to nothing with Onyx. I drag my hands over his bare skin, feeling his muscles ripple under my fingers. I touch his stiff cock with my fingertip, marveling at how perfect he is.
I get to touch him again.
For some reason, the knowledge brings more tears to my eyes, and I have to blink until they thin and I can see him clearly again. I look up while I’m still lightly touching his cock. His eyes are locked on mine, lips parted as he watches me. Onyx hovers over me, letting me touch him however I want.
“I missed you,” I whisper, letting that one little bit of vulnerability spread between us.
His expression crumples as he comes down on me and kisses me softly. Slowly. There’s so much emotion in his kiss. I can practically taste his apology and promises.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against my mouth between kisses. “I missed you too. More than I can ever put into words.”
I nod, arms tight around him as he kisses all over my face and neck. His body weight blankets me entirely, and I wrap my legs around his waist.
Despite our hard cocks trapped between us, we spend a long time kissing.
Just kissing. Our hands tangle together, fingers lacing and coming undone.
I run my hand along his back, just feeling him there.
There’s nothing urgent about our kissing.
Like we have all the time in the world. Like we’re in the privacy of my room and not on a boat in the wide open. Naked.
I wonder if we were waiting for the night to fall around us before we no longer felt the need to ignore the zing of arousal that sprang to life between us. It began small, with our hips rolling against each other.
But it’s been so long, and that quickly becomes not enough. His kisses move down my body, touching and feeling, kissing. Licking. Sucking.
“Onyx, I’m going to come really quickly,” I warn.
He chuckles. “No, you’re not. We’ve been waiting for this for too long. You can hold it.”
I slap his shoulder. I’m not sure that’s true at all.
“Think there’s any lube on this boat?” he asks, and the air punches from my lungs.
“I don’t know.”
Onyx kisses the spot right above the base of my dick and then gets up. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
I swallow as I stare up at the sky. The stars are everywhere. It’s like a connect-the-dots, but there are far too many dots to make sense of the picture it’s trying to tell.
Onyx is back before I even catch my breath, having found a little sample pack of lube. He settles between my legs as he tears it open. His eyes meet mine as he presses his finger to my hole, and I gasp at his touch. Not the pressure, or the wet, or the cold, but because his finger is there.
“This okay?” he asks.
I nod exuberantly. Onyx smiles, making my heart flutter. He toys with my hole for a minute. He doesn’t push inside until his mouth covers my cock. I swear to the sleeping woman that something magical aligns. The first fireworks of the season light up the sky just then.
My body goes slack as Onyx feasts on me.
He has a way of sucking dick that makes my entire body limp.
Completely and utterly at his mercy. I barely tense when he adds more fingers to my ass.
Through the burn, the sting, the pressure, the stretch—I lie spread out like an overcooked noodle, moaning and getting lost in the way he touches me.
Overhead, the fireworks decorate the sky, and the sleeping woman is still injecting magic into the night because the crescendo of blasts in the sky coincides with my orgasm.
Onyx licks his way up my body until his mouth covers mine.
It’s delicious and disgusting in equal measures, tasting myself on him. I mean, that came out of my dick!
“Onyx,” I beg as his mouth moves along my neck, alternating between sucking and kissing. “I want to fuck.”
Onyx groans. Or maybe that’s a growl. He picks his head up, and his eyes meet mine. “There weren’t condoms where I found the lube.”
“I have some. In my room.”
His pretty light eyes stare into mine. His breath puffs over my skin as he pants. “We don’t have to. There’s no hurry.”
“I want to. Now.”
He licks his lips and then kisses me. Long and languid. “Get dressed. We’ll head back.”
“Your cock going to be okay until then?” I ask and reach between us to wrap my hand around it.
“I’m about to wank off over the side of the boat. Not because I can’t wait, but because I’m not going to come as soon as I’m inside you.”
I grin as he presses a hard kiss to my mouth again before pushing himself up.
While I get dressed, Onyx does exactly what he says he’s going to do.
He kneels on the cushions at the side and jerks himself until he spills his load into the sea, eyes locked on me.
My cock is already excited again. Not hard, but I don’t think it’ll take long.
It’s already managing to twitch and jump.
The ride back to the dock feels like it takes an hour, though it’s only ten minutes.
However, I have to fill the fuel and then turn the keys in before we can head to the ferry.
The ferry doesn’t go straight to Bane, so it takes for-fucking-ever before we’re finally landing on the docks of our home island.
I almost don’t bother to stop for my phone, but Onyx makes me. He hasn’t stopped smiling. Maybe at how anxious I am. How excited and impatient I am.
The light in Ben’s room is on as we walk up the path to the front door. We both look in the direction of his door. There’s no movement. No sound. Maybe he fell asleep with his light on? Maybe he’s not even home.
Neither of us checks. Onyx follows me back to my room, and I lock the door behind me. The room is dark. We don’t make an effort to turn the lights on as we stare at each other while letting our eyes adjust.
“Condom,” he says quietly, his fingers brushing along my jaw with such tenderness that I have to catch my breath. “Lube. Bed.”
I laugh. “Reduced to one-word sentences. I like that.”
He hums. I undress for the second time as I rifle through my drawers to find what I’m looking for.
Onyx and I climb onto the bed, naked, at the same time.
His mouth covers mine immediately. I keep the supplies tightly grasped in my hand so I don’t lose them in the bedding as we wriggle around until we’re comfortable.
I am impatient. Maybe in an effort to drown out my nerves.
He lubes my hole again. Lots of lube. Lots of stretching.
Endless kissing. I don’t rush him as he readies my body for his cock.
I may not have a lot to compare him to, but I don’t think he’s particularly small.
Maybe he’s not huge, but to me, he feels big.
If he’s big in my hands, I imagine he’s going to feel enormous in my ass.
“How do you want to do this?” he asks quietly.
“Dick in my ass,” I tell him.
His hand claps on my bare ass cheek, and I jump. “Smartass,” Onyx mutters, biting my bottom lip. I shiver in anticipation, even as my skin stings.
“I don’t know. Whatever.”
He hums, stealing kisses from my mouth between peppering them all over my face and neck. I try not to shake when he puts the condom on. He keeps me on my back, and I’m grateful because I can keep kissing him. I can see him and touch him.
The blunt crown of his cock feels so fucking hard.
Like it’s a metal weight and not flesh. It’s difficult to remember to relax, especially when he presses against me.
I gasp and tense when he finally pushes inside me.
Everything inside me stiffens, and it takes me several breaths before I can convince my muscles to relax.
He’s slow and patient, but I keep flinching at the sting. He fingered me for ages. It shouldn’t hurt anymore!
“You’re a virgin,” Onyx whispers, lips moving against mine. “Aren’t you?”
I nod. “I thought you knew that already.”
“I did, but I thought…” His voice trails off. “Never mind. I really need you to relax, Cash. I know that’s easy for me to say, but I promise, it’ll be easier if you relax.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I cling to him. Pressing my nose into his hair and inhaling the scent of Onyx. This man is mine. He loves me. He said so.
His lips continue to press tender kisses along my neck, and I spend several minutes concentrating on the smell of him.
How gentle he is with me. Holding me with such care.
As if I’m the most important thing in the world.
His cock is half in my body, and while I’m never unaware that he’s there, focusing on his arms around me, his soft kisses, and the smell of him, my body slowly releases all the tension.
I lose myself in the feel of Onyx, sinking into the knowledge that he’s mine. I get to call him mine. He’s choosing me. He loves me.
Slowly, he moves again. There are still moments when it’s uncomfortable. Once, it hurts. But those moments become fewer and fewer as we continue until he’s making love to me, and it feels amazing.
“I love you too,” I moan as pleasure skitters down my spine and deposits in my core. It’s a pool of warmth. Not a growing orgasm. It feels good, but not like… I’m going to explode good. I know there’s more. I know Onyx will take me there. “I’ve loved you since we were kids, too,” I confess.
His arms tighten around me. “You were always meant to be mine, Cash. I was always meant to be yours. We were always going to spend our lives together.”
I’m overwhelmed by how big my emotions feel right now. He continues to move slowly inside me, letting my body get accustomed to him. To the feel of him, the heat of him, the way he stretches my body wide to accommodate him.
“Ready to feel good?” he whispers.
“I already feel good.”
He chuckles. “Ready to feel better?”
“It gets better?”
Onyx laughs quietly, gently biting my bottom lip. “It’s going to get better every single time we do this. This I promise you. But right now, are you ready to get off, Cash?”
I shiver and nod. “Yes, please. Make me come, Onyx. Make me come on your dick.” He grins, and a thrill rushes through me. Before I can help myself, I add, “Daddy.”
Something flashes in his eyes, and I giggle. The way he growls sends a rush of pleasure through me.
Then he brings my legs over his shoulders, and while it’s such a small adjustment, his cock finds all kinds of strange buttons to hit inside my body, and I quickly have to cover my mouth with a pillow to keep my sounds in as he makes what felt good already explode into pleasure the likes of which I hadn’t known up to that point.