Chapter 35
Lumi
There’s a pillow under my head. A soft, warm pillow cradles my neck instead of the damp, cold floor that bent my neck at an uncomfortable angle. And yet, my neck has never hurt more than it does right now.
I moan as I open my eyes, preferring to continue sleeping, but something isn’t right. I need to open my eyes.
Two pairs of dark eyes are staring back at me when I open them. Two devastatingly gorgeous, serious, scared shitless eyes.
“What happened?” I croak out, but gods, does my throat hurt.
“Just rest, my queen, you’re going to be okay,” Ambrose says at the same time Nyx says, “You tried to kill yourself.”
I turn to Nyx, needing the full story now.
Ambrose sighs in annoyance. “She couldn’t rest first before we told her?”
“No,” Nyx says simply. He turns his dark gaze toward me. “You sliced a gash in your own neck. It wasn’t magic. You weren’t spelled or compelled to do it by anything except Ambrose’s curse.”
Ambrose swears under his breath, like he still can’t believe his curse is the reason I almost died again. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Stop, it’s not your fault. You never asked to be cursed.” I look at him, at them both hovering over me, and then look to Ambrose’s wrists. “You’re unbound.”
He nods. “Isolde was terrified to see you almost die. She removed my chains. And unfortunately, she took away your blade as well.”
“Can you do magic?”
“Very little. I’ve tried helping your wound heal, but I can only manage to warm the tissues slightly, which I hope provides some minor pain relief.”
I put my hand on his. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You’re in pain. You almost died while I was tied up. I couldn’t help you. And Nyx—I was so scared Nyx was going to lose control and take out what was left of your throat.”
I look from Ambrose to Nyx cautiously. “You didn’t kill me.”
“It appears that way,” he responds.
I smile. “I knew you could do it.”
“My curse isn’t any more broken than Ambrose’s is. And Ambrose’s curse could come for me next. You’re not safe. None of us are.”
I move to sit up. “Easy,” Ambrose says, grabbing the back of my bicep to help ease me up.
Everything in my body is screaming at me in pain when I move. It’s agonizing and feels like I took a blade to more than just my neck. But I’m careful not to make a sound. I don’t want either guy to realize how much pain I’m in.
Both men are staring at me suspiciously, like they know exactly what I’m doing.
“So what happened when Isolde realized I almost died?”
“She lost her damn mind. It was almost worth it just to see her so frantic like that,” Nyx answers.
“I don’t think she thought she was risking your life, giving you a weapon, and freeing Nyx like that.
But then, I’m pretty sure the curse is what convinced her to do it in the first place, so clearly she wasn’t in her right mind.
She panicked, didn’t know what to do. Nyx had to bark orders at her to get her to realize she needed to use magic to put your blood back in your body and close your wound.
Luckily, she’s a half-good healer and capable otherwise, a few more minutes of blood loss, and you’d be dead. ”
I place my hand on my neck, feeling the bandage there. “Unfortunately, she didn’t bring in a true healer. And your body has been through a lot. It’s going to take a while for your neck and other wounds to heal.”
“Other wounds?” I ask.
Nyx grinds his teeth. “Your back.”
As soon as he says it, I remember. It’s why my entire body is screaming in pain.
“I think Isolde thought if she let a healer work on you, she’d go soft and you wouldn’t be scared of her anymore. Not that you are scared of her. She should be scared of you,” Ambrose says.
I nod, looking from one man to the other. “Did she give any indication of what she plans next?”
Ambrose rubs the back of his neck.
Nyx looks me dead in the eyes.
“We just need to focus on getting free,” Ambrose says.
“She will continue to test which of us she thinks is your mate until she’s satisfied,” Nyx answers.
“Which means what exactly?”
“She’ll use her magic to make us fuck. She has to test it to complete the marking ceremony since she won’t trust that you’ll be willing to join either of us to break the curse for her. She wants complete control over you.”
“We don’t know that. Stop scaring her,” Ambrose says.
But I know that Nyx’s words are true.
“You don’t need to worry about that,” Ambrose says, taking my hand. “We won’t let her do that to you. Neither of us will fuck you against your will. We are both stronger than that. And we will figure out how to escape first.”
But I’m looking at Nyx. His sad, relenting eyes, and I know that Ambrose is just telling me what I want to hear. I know that we might not be able to stop Isolde. We might not be able to fight her magic to stop it from happening.
“I’ll be okay. If either of you is forced to fuck me, I will be okay. I care about you both in different ways. I’ve already fucked both of you. It—”
“No, we won’t let it happen,” Ambrose says.
Nyx studies me, even though he can’t push into my mind anymore; he knows that I have a plan. “What are you thinking, love?”
I look from him to Ambrose and then back to Nyx. I can’t believe what I’m about to ask them. It’s not fair to any of us. But I need to take control back.
“We do it on our own terms, then. I know Isolde is somehow watching to ensure I don’t almost die again. Let her see for herself. Give her what she wants, but we decide the when and how.”
“Lumi, we can think of another way to stop this,” Ambrose says.
“No, we can’t.”
“Even if we do this, it might not change anything. She’ll still want to practice with her magic before the marking ceremony. She’ll have to in order to ensure that she can control you,” he continues.
“I don’t care. This will help me. Even if we are forced to later, this will help me get through that. It will help me feel like I have some control back. Make it easier to pretend that we are doing it on our own terms later.”
Ambrose looks around the cell—the dirt floor, rough stone wall, single pillow, and blanket. There isn’t much that would pass for romance or make for a comfortable experience.
Nyx is silent—all of his attention is on me. Studying me completely like he’s trying desperately to push into my mind.
I open my mind for him, in case the connection I severed regrows. I know it’s not possible. I know I made my choice. I know Ambrose is my mate. But he’s not the love of my life. Being my mate and being the man I love are two wildly different things.
I’m asking a lot of both of them. Asking them to willingly fuck me. Knowing there is an audience. Knowing they have to do it together or while watching each other fuck me. Knowing that next time it will be under the control of magic.
Gods, why did I sever my connection with Nyx?
It was the worst decision I could have made.
I need to talk to him. Just him. I need to know what he thinks of my plan.
If he thinks I’m insane. If he thinks there is another way to take control.
I know what I’m asking him. He’s in love with another woman.
I’m asking him to fuck me while she sits in a cage nearby.
Something that if we survive this, he’ll have to explain to her that he did willingly.
Nyx looks from me to Ambrose, and I realize what he’s telling me to do.
I jump into Ambrose’s head, knowing that any further conversations should happen here, not out loud. No one else should hear but us.
“I’m sorry for even asking you two to do this, but losing control is the worst part for me. There’s plenty I haven’t told either of you about my past. But being controlled, having any part of myself taken from me is…” I can’t finish my thought.
“I’ll do it,” Nyx says in Ambrose’s mind.
Ambrose snaps his head to Nyx, like he wants to murder him.
Nyx raises an eyebrow at Ambrose in a challenge.
He huffs, looking in my direction. “Of course, I’ll fuck you, Lumi.
If that’s what you want, of course, I will.
I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through.
I don’t think it will make things better if Isolde forces us later.
We should focus our energy on finding a way to stop that from happening.
And you were just injured, I don’t want to hurt you. ”
“You won’t. Neither of you will. I trust you both.”
The men exchange a glance like they think I’m crazy for saying that I trust either of them.
“I know what I’m asking. I’m asking you to fuck me when you have a vampire mate, someone you love.” I say to Nyx.
“And I’m asking you to fuck me for the first time since choosing you as my mate in a dirty cell while Nyx watches.” Nyx gives Ambrose a strange look, but I ignore it.
“It’s more than I should ask either of you. I know that. I hate that I’m even asking because I know both of you will say yes to please me, even if you don’t actually want to, which is the opposite of what I want. I want us to all have control over our own bodies and what we do with them.”
Both of their heads snap to me, like I’ve just personally insulted both of them simultaneously.
Their eyes cut to each other, and I hear a mumbled conversation in Ambrose’s head that they’ve blocked me out of before both of them stare at me intensely.
“Don’t for one fucking second think that we don’t want to fuck you. There’s a good chance I’m going to die because of the vampire curse, Isolde, or by some other means, and fucking you before that happens is all I want.”
“Same—getting to fuck my mate, the love of my life, is all I want. I don’t care about the circumstances. I don’t care if Nyx fucks you at the same time or if someone else is watching. Life is too short, I just want you to feel good, my queen.”
“How do you want us?” Nyx asks.
I blush, biting my bottom lip.
“Do you want us one at a time? One after the other?” Ambrose asks.
“Or do you want us to pleasure you at the same time?” Nyx asks.
“Gods, this was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t—”
Nyx catches my wrist before I can pull away. “You need control. You need to find a way out of the control you’ve lost time and time again. We all do. We need to be united. Reminded that the three of us are on the same team, no matter what happens now. This is how we do that.”
I lick my lips. “Who wants to go first?”