Chapter 40
“ Y ou’re sure this Hayes doesn’t mind us using his cabin?” she asked again, shifting nervously around on the seat.
“No, he said to go for it.” Matthieu glanced over at her. “Why are you so nervous?”
They had a van filled with animals, clothes for them both, and a huge amount of food that he’d picked up at their last stop.
Matthieu wasn’t sure where Ink had found a vehicle that could fit all of them, but somehow he’d managed it. They’d decided that taking her car wasn’t a smart idea, just in case Vince had a way of tracking it or he was somehow watching.
It was just a precaution, really. But better safe than sorry. And his car was too small to transport everyone.
Livvy had brought some clothes around for Maya while Ink had grabbed some for him. She’d told them that she and some of the other girls would clean all of Maya’s salvageable clothes from the fire once the fire inspector let them into the house.
Maya had woken up this morning and just stared at her toy before turning toward him with the biggest smile on her face.
Christ, it didn’t take much to make her happy.
And the urge to see that smile on her face every day had almost taken his breath away.
“And he knows about the animals?” she questioned.
“Maya, what are you worried about?” he asked gently.
“I don’t know. I’m just not used to letting other people make all these decisions. What if Tank doesn’t like it there? What if Princess Priss manages to get out? What if something goes wrong with the chickens? You know that Chew Bok-Bok has got a bit of an attitude.”
“I think Millie can handle Chew Bok-Bok’s attitude. We’ll be careful not to let Princess Priss out. And Tank will be fine if he has you and Big Berry.”
“Right, you’re right. I’m just feeling . . .”
Nervous. He knew that.
“You don’t have to worry about anything when you’re with me,” he reassured her.
“Uh-huh. Right.”
She didn’t sound very reassured. But he understood. This was a lot of change for her and she didn’t really have control of any of it.
But learning to give up a bit of control might be just what she needed.
“Hayes let Reyes and Emme stay in his cabin before when they needed a safe spot. It’s isolated, secure, and he never comes here.”
“Oh no. Oh no.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“I forgot to call David. I didn’t even think about it!”
Everything had been a bit of a whirlwind this morning as they’d gotten prepared to travel and her focus had been the animals. They’d ended up leaving Marshmallow with Ink for Millie to collect. The trip would be a bit stressful for him.
“Where’s my phone?” She looked around her. “Did I get it back after Brody took it?
“I’ve got it. It’s turned off. Brody added some extra security so you can use it, but I turned it off to give you a bit of a break.”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks. I do feel a bit . . . overwhelmed. But I should call David. Even if he is a dick.”
“Actually, I called David this morning.”
“Oh God, what did he say?” she asked, wincing.
“I don’t think you want to know.” That guy was a fucking asshole. And something had to be done about him. Once the danger to Maya was past, he’d work on that.
“I need to know. I’ve got bills to pay.”
He shot her a look as they turned up a rougher road leading to the cabin. “Don’t worry about your bills.”
“How can I not worry about my bills? I don’t know how long I’ll be away from work. I’ve got a damaged house. I mean, I have insurance but who knows how long that money will take to come through. And now you’re not getting paid, either. So I have to work to pay you.”
The flames started to flicker and he pulled in a deep breath. Somehow, she was finding this part hard to understand. He pulled off the road onto the grass. Then he undid his belt and turned to her.
“I’m just going to tell you this straight, David said he was going to fire you.”
“Of course he did. He’s such an asshole. Sure, it sucks having to find another job. But maybe I can finally get a job where I don’t have to work for a jerk.”
Matthieu wanted to tell her that she’d never have to work again. But he squelched that urge. That wouldn’t go over well right now. He knew she was primarily worried about her babies and not herself.
Maya needed someone to worry about her.
Matthieu watched with no small amount of worry as a shield seemed to slip over Maya’s face.
He’d seen it happen yesterday too. But he’d figured that was to be expected. She’d been exhausted and traumatized. And last night the shield had dropped, and she’d been Maya again.
So he was alarmed to see it happening again today.
Was she overloaded?
Of course she was. Anyone would be.
And he felt this pressing urge to ease her burden. To take everything on so she didn’t have to shut down in order to survive.
“Listen to me, I don’t want you to stress.”
She raised one eyebrow and he knew he was about to get sassy Maya. “Because telling someone not to stress always works.”
It would if she let him take full control. But he refrained from saying that to her as well.
“Well, you weren’t going back there to work, anyway.” He nearly winced after saying that. That wasn’t quite what he’d meant to say.
“Oh, I wasn’t? Then where was I going to work?”
“You wouldn’t be happy working for someone who exploited animals.”
“No, I wouldn’t. But a regular paycheck is kind of a necessity.”
“You’re amazing at what you do. You could get a job anywhere.”
“There aren’t a lot of yoga studios in Billings where I can work.”
“Is that what you want to keep doing? Teaching yoga? Before that you worked as a personal assistant. Was that what you wanted to do? Or is there something else you’d rather do?”
“Rather do? I do things that feed my babies and keep a roof over our heads.”
Yeah, that’s what he’d been wondering. While she’d seemed to enjoy teaching yoga, it didn’t seem to be her passion.
Which was animals.
“Why did you really take that job?”
She sighed, that cool, unemotional mask still on her face. “You know, being so nosy isn’t attractive.”
Hmm. Time to knock that shield a bit.
“Careful, Bébé. I don’t mind a bit of sassy. But you don’t want to go over the line . . . I know just what to do to little girls that push too far. And it involves a consequence.”
There we go. He saw a crack. He knew he was pushing her and it might be a bit of a bastard thing to do when she was obviously feeling lost and vulnerable and was just doing her best to protect herself.
However, he couldn’t help but want her to turn to him for protection.
Shit.
This was what he’d stayed up most of last night thinking about. About whether he could do this.
But in the end, he couldn’t walk away. It wasn’t an option because she already had a part of him.
And he could never be whole again without her.
He was still scared of losing her. Of fully losing himself. But he would keep her safe.
Which he intended to do anyway.
Matthieu was going to finally have a home.
It was terrifying and at the same time, it felt so fucking right.
“I’m not breaking a rule.”
“The rules are changing, Little girl. And there’s a new boss for you. Me.”
More of that shield cracked.
“You can’t just announce yourself the boss of me,” she informed him. “That’s not the way things work.”
“Actually, it is.”
“You’re delusional,” she informed him coolly.
So she had the courage to look him in the eyes now? Yeah, she was firmly behind that mask. But he was determined to completely crack it. At least around him. Around anyone else, she was free to put it up to keep herself safe.
It was going to mean a huge change for him. Maya had ties. She wasn’t going to be happy traveling around the country.
Maya needed stability and a home more than anyone he’d ever met and somehow he had to give that to her.
But one step at a time. First he had to convince her that he could be her safe space.
That she could trust him to look after her.
“You took it because of the puppies, didn’t you?” He couldn’t understand it at first. Why she put up with David the way she did. She didn’t tend to hold her tongue with anyone else, so he hadn’t been sure why she put up with David’s shit without exploding.
Then last night, it had suddenly made sense. It was the puppies.
“I took the job because I needed it,” she said. “I stayed because of the puppies.”
“You saw them and you knew they weren’t being taken care of properly.”
“Sometimes they looked so scared and confused,” she told him.
“But I was always teaching back-to-back classes when puppy yoga was on. So I couldn’t find a way to follow David to where they were coming from.
And I was concerned he would see me. So when Millie and Livvy offered to help . . .” She shrugged.
“You realize how dangerous that was. These people running the puppy farm could have discovered what the three of you were doing . . . they could have harmed you.”
“I wasn’t in any real danger,” she protested. Then a guilty look crossed her face. “I shouldn’t have let Millie follow them.”
“You should have told me what was going on,” he corrected.
“Well, all’s well that ends well,” she said. “At least, I hope the puppies are all right. I know they got them out, but I’ll need my phone to check in with them. I’ll also need to contact my insurance.”
“We’ll get your insurance stuff sorted. Tell me where the paperwork is and I’ll get Ink onto it. You don’t need to worry about that right now. What we have to worry about is keeping you safe.”
And he could use this time to convince her that she needed him.
“How will you pay your bills and stuff?” she asked him.
“You’re worried about me?”
Her face hardened. “Of course not. Why would I worry about you?”
Oh, she might think she was doing a good job of being tough, but she really wasn’t.
Reaching out, he ran a finger down her cheek. She shivered.
Yeah, someone liked his touch.
She also liked when he called her his good girl. Something he’d have to do more often, because he liked seeing her melt.
“You don’t have to worry about me. I already told you I’m staying with you no matter what. Money isn’t an issue. I have plenty of savings. I have very few expenses.”
And some of those savings would need to now go toward an animal-friendly property. Perhaps one with a large expanse of land, as he had a feeling that if she had the room, she would expand her menagerie.
“It just doesn’t feel right that you work for free,” she told him.
Her mask was slipping. Just a bit more and it would be gone. And it was up to him to make certain it didn’t return. At least, not around him.
“It wouldn’t be if I was working. But I don’t consider taking care of you work.”