Chapter 4 #2
“Most of my income went to a personal account he didn’t have access to, thank God.
I didn’t care about the cash. Well, I did, but not as much as the necklace my father gave me for my sixteenth birthday right before he passed away or the ring I’d bought for myself after I graduated from college.
Irreplaceable stuff I knew I’d never find again. ”
“Was it drugs?” Lee asked.
“Gambling. High-stakes poker, sports. I thought he was just in one of those fantasy leagues, but there was much more to it. I waited for him to come home, and I shoved the receipts at him the minute he came through the door.”
I crossed my arms over my torso as if I were bracing for the impact again.
“He said he got into a little trouble and he’d get the stuff back and pay me for what he took, but he wouldn’t admit how much. I told him to get out and that I was calling the police, and he lost it.”
“That’s when he hit you?” Lee whispered, his voice low.
“Yes, and as luck would have it, if you could call it luck, the neighbors had already called the police because we’d been fighting pretty loudly.
They were nosy and annoying, but it came in handy that one time,” I said, letting out an empty laugh.
“The police arrived just in time for them to see me holding a dish towel full of blood to my face. They took him in when I agreed to press charges.”
I didn’t remember the actual moment his fist hit my face.
It was like all those times I’d fallen as a kid, and sometimes as an adult, and I could never recall the actual blow that led to a bruise.
It either happened so fast that I couldn’t register the details or my brain erased the trauma from memory.
“My God, Stella,” Lee said, his gaze so intense I had to avert my eyes.
Past and maybe some present feelings notwithstanding, I’d known Lee for most of my life.
The shame was still hard to shake, especially in front of friends and family, and the last thing I wanted to see was pity in his eyes and feel even worse.
“They took him to the station, and the police called an ambulance for me to get it all on the record. I spent a long night in the ER alone, telling the story over and over again.”
The rest of the night was burned into my mind with crystal clarity. The pain, all the blood gushing out of my nose that had almost made me choke, and the lingering looks from passersby, some with sympathy, some disdain.
I’d known at that moment I needed to come home—or the last place I’d had a home.
“Why were you alone?” Lee asked, his voice soft enough to make tears prick my eyes.
“Who would I have called? We had neighbors but not friends. I never took the time to get to know anyone on the block. It wasn’t like Brooklyn, where you knew everyone without having to try.”
I tried to push a smile across my face in an attempt to lighten the mood—or at least get Lee to blink.
“I didn’t have anyone close by who I could ask to come to the hospital because my boyfriend almost broke my nose.”
Lee’s jaw ticked.
“So anyway, I filed a restraining order the day after, and a couple of the cops were nice enough to hang out at our apartment while I packed and Zach was still in holding. On my way out, one of his friends stopped by, asking if I knew where Zach kept things.”
“He stole from him too?” Lee arched a brow.
“Maybe. Or maybe with him. The most embarrassing part of all of this is that I lived with a guy for two years whom I didn’t really know.
” I rubbed my eyelids. “The police were there, so the guy didn’t press the issue, but I had the feeling if I had been alone, he might have done something. Hurt me…I don’t know.”
“Jesus,” Lee said, his mouth flattened into a hard line. “Has anyone else approached you?”
“No. Zach has other theft charges besides mine, and the assault just made it worse, so from what I know, he can’t leave Ohio if he ever makes bail and can’t come near me even if he could.
I don’t have an address yet, so no one can look me up.
I opened a PO Box to get my mail, but I suppose someone still could find me if they wanted. ”
Besides all the humiliation, I didn’t know when the urge to constantly look over my shoulder would go away.
“And he never hit you before that?”
I shook my head.
“I was away for work a lot, and we’d fight whenever I was home. He’d get loud but never physical,” I said with a shrug. “It was good at first, but we’d been off for a while. We should have broken up long before that, but I was too busy to pack up and leave, and I kept putting it off. My fault.”
“No, it is not,” Lee said, leaning closer to the table.
“Getting hit, no. But I had no idea what he was doing because I was too busy to pay attention. So, yes, that part is my fault. It’s fine.
I’ve moved on. Or at least, I’m in the process of moving on.
I’m home with family—and friends.” I nodded at Lee, this time getting a ghost of a smile flitting across his face. “Still in one piece.”
Lee stood from his seat and crouched in front of me, holding my gaze as his chest rose and fell.
“I am so sorry that you went through all of that alone. I would have come to the hospital to stay with you if you had called me.”
I tilted my head, trying to smile despite the tears burning my nose.
“You would’ve flown all the way to Ohio to sit in an ER for a night? By the time you got to the airport, I would have been home.” A wry grin pulled at the corner of my mouth.
“If you’d called me, yes, and I would have stayed with you after and helped you get away from that asshole. What are friends for? You dropped everything for me a few years ago, remember?”
He squeezed my knee, triggering a lump in the back of my throat I couldn’t swallow away.
“You and Gary should know—you call me, and I’ll be there. No questions asked.”
Lee picked up my hand and gave it a squeeze. The humiliation burning my cheeks had cooled now that my attention was diverted to the charge from Lee’s palm grazing mine. He searched my face, so much concern swimming in his eyes, I didn’t know whether to cry or leap out of my chair and into his arms.
Both of which I couldn’t do here…or anywhere.
I broke out of my trance when I felt eyes piercing my back.
People who didn’t know us or what we were talking about probably saw Lee almost on his knees and thought there was much more to it.
I met the gaze of a very hopeful elderly couple, the woman clasping her hands under her chin as she beamed at us.
“Get up,” I whispered. “People are staring at us like you’re about to pull out a ring.”
Lee glanced over his shoulder. “That’s one way to make the Bats’ Instagram page again.”
“Again?” A soggy chuckle slipped out of me. “I thought that was only Silas.”
“Someone got a shot of me holding Bennie at a game, thankfully not of her face, and I had to set all my socials to private after the picture started to circulate with the hashtag DrDILF.” He lifted a shoulder.
“I don’t have montages dedicated to my ass like Silas does, but that’s only because I’m mostly in the background. ”
I laughed at his wink.
“The cost of fame,” I joked. “And for what it’s worth, thank you.”
My gaze snagged on his, that smile just as disarming as when I’d first seen it at sixteen, leaving me breathless while he made his way back to his seat.
“As for not working, I was burned out before all that, and I want to do something more than fix a company’s problems and move on to the next town and hotel. So, here I am.” I splayed my arms out. “Living it up at the senior center.”
“And I’m glad you are.” Lee’s smile was finally easy.
“My mother is too. Although coming to her doorstep looking like I did probably took a couple of years off her life.” I leaned my elbows on the table. “Since I’m jobless, know of any openings in the neighborhood?”
“Ever work in babysitting?” Lee quipped, thanking the waitress when she placed the bread basket between us.
“I’ve taken care of Braden when I’ve stayed with Gary and Libby. He’s still alive, so I guess I did okay.” I laughed, reaching for a piece of bread.
I expected Lee to laugh with me, but he stilled, his brows drawing together.
“What?”
“What if you…babysat for me? Well, for Bennie.”
I choked on a piece of Italian bread when I realized he wasn’t kidding.
“Lee, I don’t know—”
“Hear me out. You need a place to stay. And I don’t like the idea of you being alone if that asshole or anyone else comes looking for you.”
“If they haven’t by now, they probably won’t,” I said, almost believing it. Setting up residency with a real address still made me a little uneasy, but I’d have no choice soon.
“We have good neighbors who always kept an eye on my mother and sister when Tom and I were away. They’d watch you too, and you wouldn’t be alone, even when I’m on the road.
We have a full security system and a doorbell camera, so you’d be safe.
You’d have to sleep in my sister’s old room when I’m gone, but when I’m home, you could have my mother’s apartment if you wanted some privacy.
Remember, we used to rent it out and have movie nights when it was vacant? ”
I nodded, more nostalgia pulling at my chest. We’d all sit on the old plastic-covered couch, and Lee would stretch his arm behind me, making my heart sing loud enough to drown out the movie.
A few hours ago, I’d feared I wasn’t ready to see Lee while I was feeling so raw, and now he was asking me to move in with him.
And despite my protest, I was considering it.
“Bennie hasn’t seen me in a long time and doesn’t know me other than from when we video chat. Won’t she feel weird having me live with you guys and take care of her?”
Lee laughed and shook his head.
“My daughter doesn’t know a stranger,” he said with a wistful smile. “I think she’d love it if you came to stay with us. Girl energy and all that.”
I rolled my eyes.
“You’re really serious about this?”
“Yes, I am. I’d trust you and Gary with my life—and my kid. I wouldn’t worry about you or her if you moved in.”
The more he spoke, the more he made sense. This was an offer that would help us both, if I wasn’t so terrified to take it.
“And I’d pay you.”
“No way,” I said, leaning back from the table and shaking my head. “I’m not living rent-free and taking money from you.”
I squeezed the back of my neck, taking in the hope in Lee’s gaze. He was right; I had nowhere to go and no clue what I wanted my next move to be. I’d spent a lot of time with my nephew, but I was the fun-vacation aunt, not the do-your-homework and go-to-bed parent.
Still, the idea of hiding out without a set address for a little while longer did give me some relief.
I wouldn’t have to camp out on my mother’s couch, waiting for facility management to throw me out, and taking care of Bennie might divert my mind from the constant where did I go wrong questions that had plagued me ever since I’d left Ohio.
I could do this.
While living in the house of my lifelong, hopeless crush.
“We can sort all that out. I think you and Bennie would get along great. She could learn a lot from you.”
I tried to take a sip of water to wet my parched mouth and almost sputtered it onto the table.
“I’m not sure anyone could or should learn from me right now. But this may not be the worst idea.”
He narrowed his eyes.
“Is that a yes or a maybe?”
I twisted the napkin in my hands, imagining what it would be like to be a full-time babysitter of a second grader.
I liked kids; not having any of my own had nothing to do with not wanting them.
I just hadn’t met anyone I wanted to have them with.
Even if I had, my work hadn’t been conducive to having children, or even a goldfish, since I was only home for clusters of days at a time.
I didn’t want to go back to that life, but I needed to move on somewhere, even if it was temporary.
Moving in to take care of Lee’s daughter would ease the pressure of looking for a place to live and figuring out what to do next.
And I was over Lee. Sure, I’d almost melted all over the chair when he’d told me that he would have come to Ohio to be with me at one of the lowest points of my life. But all that worry and love etched in his features while he got on his knees in front of me was friendly love.
My face had healed, but my ego was still battered. And even when it was intact, Lee would always be a weakness.
But I was an adult. A lost adult, but I had enough faculties to make this work.
Most likely.
“Okay,” I blurted out.
Lee’s head popped up.
“Okay,” he repeated slowly. “You’ll do it?”
“Yes, I will do it,” I said, the words coming out in a rush. “I’ll move in for the season, and you don’t have to worry about quitting or who is with Bennie. And I have plenty of savings since I haven’t done anything but work the past few years, so you won’t be paying me a dime.”
Lee smiled, his body sagging with relief as he picked up my hand to kiss the top of my wrist.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said, bringing my hand to his forehead.
“Stop that before people start congratulating us,” I gritted out, kicking his shin under the table. I slipped my hand away from his, shaking it out next to me to get rid of the tingle from his soft, warm mouth.
Jesus, what did I get myself into?