Chapter Thirty
Anika stares ahead through a haze of tears as the screen fades to black.
The film credits begin to scroll upwards to the mournful sounds of Sampha’s beautiful voice and she feels almost scared to breathe.
She blinks and the tears snake traitorously down her cheeks.
Quickly she wipes them as beside her Tina blows out a long stream of air, unashamedly clutching a wedge of tissues that she’s dabbing against her eyes.
Reaching down to pick up the complimentary glass bottle of fancy water, Anika gratefully glugs a long drink of it before she’s able to make eye contact with her friends.
She expected the film to be good – there’s no denying that.
But the kinetically skilled direction and top-notch acting only underscored the depths that Cam’s writing went to.
The intimacy of it. Anika felt the soul of him coursing through the film.
Obviously she understood its inspiration, but there was so much more contained in Cam’s screenplay than she expected.
It was angry, heart-breaking. Despite what he went through, he always seemed to slip through the world so lightly, a curious and positive presence.
Anika was only just beginning to understand how much he held an undercurrent of loss and resentment within him, and it made the exploration of music, art and love in his film so much more powerful.
Shameeka leans forward to look past Maia and catch Anika’s eye.
‘Bruv,’ she says simply, then shakes her head in admiration.
Anika’s fairly certain she sees tears in her friend’s eyes too, and that’s saying something for Shamz.
None of her friends are aware of her past with Cam – for some reason she’s decided to keep it to herself – and she feels increasingly self-conscious about just how emotional the film has made her.
She hopes the sensation won’t be too obvious, masked by their own reactions.
The lights in the screening room slowly begin to fade up and Anika swivels in her seat trying to spot Cam, but she notices him up at the very top of the tiered seats already in animated conversation with one of the journalists.
Maybe it’s for the best. She really does need the loo now, and she also needs to properly compose herself before the cast-and-crew party they’ve been invited to this evening.
Anika follows her friends out to the ladies’ without meeting Cam’s eye, and when they all finally congregate again in the hotel foyer, he’s nowhere in sight.
‘We good to go?’ Shameeka asks, pulling Maia into her side with an arm around her waist. ‘Deon’s with his nan and we are ready to turn the fuck up!
I feel like I never get a chance to do that with you lot.
’ She pokes Anika, who rubs her brow, still feeling the dull buzz of her hangover from last night but not wanting to disappoint her friend.
Maia cradles her wife’s face with one hand, her nail extensions lightly sinking into Shamz’s cheeks.
‘Calm down, mama.’ She kisses her lips and Shameeka indulges it further while Anika and Tina make immature whooping noises.
‘What we saying, cab?’ Anika asks when her friends’ PDA finally calms down.
Shameeka gives her a look of exasperation. ‘The party’s at SkyLark, babe. It’s a ten-minute walk, max.’
Anika wordlessly points to her shoes and soon Maia and Tina are nodding in agreement, all three of them putting their variously heeled feet next to Shamz’s polished brogues.
‘Like this is my fault,’ she says, shaking her head with a wry grin.
Talking animatedly, they make their way to the kerb and manage after two attempts to hail a black cab.
Shamz is right, Anika thinks – it’s so rare that they really get to hang out.
But she’s still distracted by her thoughts on End of the Day, and Cam …
‘Like, who would have thought that breakfast-show guy had that in him?’ Tina is saying as she folds down the jump seat in the back, and Anika feels an odd defensiveness, even though perhaps she also underestimated what the film would do to her.
‘Like, it was way more … I dunno, arty and emotional than I thought. But also, such a good take on the whole scene, man – with the female MC?’
‘Innit,’ Maia says.
‘The pirate-radio stuff and the raves really took me back …’
As her friends begin to discuss the soundtrack, Anika’s head continues to swim in memories of her own.
‘You good, babe?’ Shameeka asks her more quietly while the others chatter.
Anika nods, forcing herself to smile. ‘Yeah, yeah, I am.’
Shamz is still eyeing her closely. ‘Some dark shit in that film, boy. But teenage me would have loved to see a story like that when I was coming out. That girl was everything I wish I could have been at that age.’ Anika nods and Shamz nudges her, glancing at her stomach.
‘You’re feeling OK, though, right?’ Anika knows she means healthwise now, and her jaw clenches.
‘I’m looking forward to a likkle Neeks and Meeks time tonight,’ Shameeka continues.
‘As long as you’re definitely up to it.’
Anika’s getting tired of people eyeing her like a time bomb that could blow up again any minute.
Her mother, and now Shameeka? She’s absolutely fine, she’s sure of it.
She has to be … Mentally composing some new affirmations to deal with this, she says, ‘I’m good, Shamz. I was out last night, too, that’s all.’
‘Out?’ Shamz doesn’t do much to hide her incredulity. ‘Out where? With who?’
‘You don’t know her.’
‘Her? What am I missing?’
She’s hesitant to get into the story of last night’s reunion now. ‘Er … well, maybe you would remember her. Hattie, my mate from uni?’ Shamz squints both eyes in an attempt to recall and, Anika can tell, in suspicion at her friend’s caginess.
‘Ah, seen, yeah, I remember. Stunner! I tried to move her one time, but I swear she had a thing for you, though.’ Shameeka chortles dismissively, but it peters out when Anika smirks and says,
‘Yeah … still does.’ She regrets adding that, seeing Shamz’s expression fall.
‘This liking-girls shit isn’t some game, babe,’ her friend says lightly, but Anika can tell she’s not joking.
Thankfully they pull up at the venue a second later.
Anika ignores Shamz’s frown by turning to look out of the cab window up at the dark, imposing building on whose roof sits the elegant bar where the party is taking place.
Tina insists on paying and they all clamber out of the taxi and then hang back at the entrance while Shameeka explains who they are to the security guys.
They’re waved through the dark lobby and into the lift.
When the doors open up on the top floor, a frizzy-haired brunette in black trousers and a white shirt greets them, offering yet another glass of champagne.
Anika’s blood will be full of bubbles by the end of the night, but she takes one and follows the others into the party.
It’s primarily for some press, crew, actors and producers to celebrate the film’s release ahead of the big blowout due for the film’s premiere.
Apparently End of the Day has been attracting a lot of attention – unsurprisingly given Cam’s popularity and the director Maxwell Lumumba’s reputation as the UK’s preeminent music-video helmer making his big-screen debut.
Anika absently wonders just how much further into the stratosphere Cam’s career will be launched.
Will he even still be interested in chatting to her, or in whatever might be starting to happen between them?
As if on cue, Anika spots Cam leaning against the bar on the far side of the rooftop, standing close to one of the female actors from the film.
Her slender frame is clothed in a caramel bodycon dress that barely contrasts with her skin tone, her back caressed by what must be thirty-six inches of the finest Kanekelon ponytail money can buy.
The woman is grinning at Cam like he’s a snack she plans to devour, and jealousy makes Anika’s lips purse.
She still can’t stifle her wry smile when Cam looks up and catches Anika staring if not daggers, then at least some darts.
He says something to his companion and then immediately starts walking over towards Anika.
‘Let’s hit the bar,’ Tina is saying beside her, but it’s as though she’s in a tractor beam, barely able to hear her friend.
‘Um, I’ll catch up with you lot in a minute,’ Anika mumbles, managing to pull her gaze away from Cam to look back at her friends. Maia grins, seeing who Anika’s been watching.
‘Mm, I bet she will,’ she says to the others, and they amble away. Tina and Maia are chuckling, but Anika notices that Shamz doesn’t join in as readily. Why’s she salty?
Suddenly Cam is in front of her holding a glass of the brown liquor he mentioned earlier, clinking with a large ice cube.
One eyebrow skyrockets up towards his hairline as he comes to a halt and looks at her.
‘So.’ A typical Cam sentence, now a statement more than a question, but Anika can see the eagerness in his expression.
‘So,’ she replies. ‘Well, the soundtrack was flames. I mean, I’d love to do a deep-dive on it for that show I want to put together.’ She’s still holding her almost-full glass of champagne and takes a long sip of it, swallowing awkwardly. Why did I say that?
Cam sips his drink too, and then slides one hand into the pocket of his flat-fronted suit trousers. Anika’s eyes are drawn to the noticeable bulge the movement of the material creates and she flicks them back up, hopefully before he notices.
‘OK, OK. Strictly on a business thing, then, yeah?’ He sounds disappointed and Anika curses her nerves for making her glib. Reaching over to a nearby table to put down the champagne flute, she moves a step closer to him.