Chapter 30
I don’t remember the arena lights being so bright or the crowd so loud. I’ve never been this nervous to compete before, and I can’t tell if it’s because it’s been so long, or Athena’s so new, or…
If my heart’s not in it anymore.
I used to get an excited rush of anticipation before I’d race. I’d feel like I chugged an entire energy drink, my body amped up and ready to go.
Now, I feel like I’m going to throw up, and not in a fun way.
I bought a brand new shirt for the occasion, thinking it would boost my confidence, but now I feel silly. The blue background reminded me of a certain set of eyes, and the pink and yellow flowers reminded me of the flowers at Forget Me Not Ranch, but I don’t usually wear such… bold colors.
I don’t have time to go back to my truck and change, so I take a few steadying breaths and try to push away the worry that I stick out like a sore thumb.
This rodeo’s a small competition, mostly locals and a few out-of-state people wanting to compete for fun, but the pressure to perform is still pecking at me like a bird.
Finally, after seven other racers, it’s my turn.
Mounting Athena, I wait for my timer to start at the gate, taking a deep inhale and releasing it slowly.
When the timer starts, we’re off, circling the first barrel.
What I’ve learned about Athena is that she knows what she’s doing, so I’m just here, hanging on for the ride and giving her small nudges to where she needs to go.
Time slows down as we round the second and third barrels, and the crowd cheers as Athena gallops back through the gate.
Seventeen seconds.
Not bad for my first real race after so long, but not fast enough to win.
Before, a time like this would have me spitting mad at myself. I’d be analyzing everything I did wrong, making a plan to correct it, and do better the next time. I’d be kicking myself for not winning, but today, I can’t find it in myself to be too upset.
Athena and I did our best, and we had a damn good run.
“Good girl, Athena.” I whisper in her ear as I dismount, leading her back toward the trailer. “You were perfect. I’m so proud of you.”
I don’t need to stick around to hear the results.
My mind focuses on one thing as I walk…
Did Sullivan come? He replied to my email saying he’d try, but with the season starting again, he wasn’t sure if he’d have time, and to keep him in the loop if I was ever in Montana.
I tried not to be too disappointed. I understand he’s a busy man with lots on his plate. I wonder if Briar is okay, and what’s happening with her, and then I start thinking about Juniper, like I always do.
I wish she were here. It’s been 215 days since I last saw her, last felt her lips on mine. The ache in my chest hasn’t lessened, and every day, I wonder if I should beg for a job at Forget Me Not Ranch so I can be with her.
I’ve been thinking a lot since my conversation with Mary in November, and I’ve decided to find a more permanent place. I even looked at all the training facilities in Montana so I could be closer to Juniper, but the closest one is still two hours away.
I guess I’d better save some gas money, because two hours is nothing when it comes to her. I’d drive it every single day if I needed to, just to be with her again.
When my trailer comes into view, I stop in my tracks, blinking rapidly to clear my vision. Did I hit my head on something during the race? Or is the adrenaline getting to me? It’s got to be one of those things, because there’s no way this is real.
Leaning against my truck is a gorgeous, curvy goddess. Her sapphire eyes glimmer in the setting sun, her pink lips tipping up in a shy smile.
My heart stutters.
Juniper’s here.
Panic overtakes the surprise—her anxiety. Shit, is she okay? Why is she here alone? Is she going to have a panic attack?
I pick up my pace, tying Athena to the back of the trailer so she can’t go anywhere and wiping my now-sweaty palms on my jeans. I stand a foot away from the woman who’s consumed every thought I’ve had over the last seven months.
“You were amazing out there,” she says when I’m close enough.
“What are you doing here?” My voice comes out gravelly, like I haven’t used it in months. “I mean, thank you, but are you okay? Are you overwhelmed? I can take you somewhere away from the crowd if you need me to.”
She giggles, the sound piercing right through me. God, I missed that sound.
“I’m fine. Promise. I uh… I’ve been working with my therapist on coping better in crowds. Shiloh and Cillian are here, too, so I’m not alone. I’m still a little nervous, and I’m about ready to get out of here, but I’m okay.”
My mind spins with the information, and I can’t think straight. “Your dad said he couldn’t come, so I thought…”
“He wanted to be here, but things at the ranch are hectic right now, so he sends his apologies.” She rolls her lips into her mouth and tilts her head. “Are you upset that I’m here?”
I take a step closer so we’re almost touching.
“Not upset,” I murmur. “Surprised, yes. Shocked. You’re the last person I thought I’d see, and this doesn’t quite feel real. I can’t imagine how difficult being here must be.”
She lifts one shoulder, like this isn’t a huge deal. “Sometimes, love is worth doing the scary thing. You are worth doing scary things. It’s possible you’ve already moved on, but—”
“I haven’t,” I say quickly. “There’s no world where I move on that fast from you, where I move on at all. You’ve occupied my every thought, awake and asleep, for months. I can’t even believe you’re here.”
“Let me finish my speech then, before I lose my nerve.” Juniper closes the remaining distance between us, so our bodies are pressed together. She grabs both of my hands in hers, sending a shock of electricity through me. It’s been too long since we’ve touched.
“I want to tell you at least once, since I didn’t get to before: I love you, Addison Riley.
It feels like I’ve been living without half of my heart since you left.
If you’ll give me another chance, I want to be with you, out in the open, for real this time.
No end date in sight, no sneaking around the ranch.
I can’t promise to come to every rodeo, but I can promise I’ll be there when you come back. ”
I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering on the soft skin of her cheek, basking in the heat of her skin. “I love you, too. We can take it one day at a time, as long as we’re together, we’ll figure the rest out. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Her sapphire eyes blink up at me, shimmering with unshed tears.
Juniper surges up and crashes her mouth against mine, nearly knocking me over. I wrap my arms around her waist and steady us. This kiss feels like a new beginning, like the sun rising over the mountains signaling a brand new day.
What starts tender turns ravenous as months of pent-up emotion pour into our kiss. Juniper gasps—the sweetest sound—when I can’t resist nipping at her pillowy bottom lip. I wish we weren’t at a rodeo, surrounded by so many people. I’d have her laid on her back in my truck in no time if I could.
We’re both breathing heavily when we break apart, all the emotions I’m feeling mirrored in her eyes.
“Let’s get Athena settled,” I say, “then I’m taking you back to my motel room and showing you exactly how much I’ve missed you. Text Shiloh and tell her to bring your stuff. I’m not letting you out of my sight for the foreseeable future.”
We burst through my motel door, barely pulling apart long enough for me to latch the lock. My hands are everywhere. Sliding her skirt over the dip in the denim of her vest, hinting at a bit of cleavage, as I reacquaint myself with every hill and valley on her body.
She’s wearing too many clothes. I need to fix that immediately.
She must have the same idea because she starts clumsily trying to undo the buttons on my shirt, cursing every time her fingers slip.
I take over for her, removing and tossing the shirt somewhere in the room, followed by my undershirt and bra.
Then I’m kissing her again, unable to part long enough to finish undressing.
“I need to shower,” I murmur against Juniper’s mouth.
“No time.” She nips at my bottom lip, tugging me by my belt buckle toward the bed. “Need you now.”
“But—”
“Addison,” she says seriously. “I don’t give a damn about how sweaty you think you are. We can shower after. I need you, baby. Please.”
The desperation in her tone has my nipples pebbling. “Since you said please so sweetly…”
Gripping the hem of her vest, I don’t bother with the buttons. I lift it off of her, and it joins my clothes on the floor. I kiss her more while I unhook her bra, undoing the silver belt around her waist.
Kneeling on the floor, I help her out of her boots and slide the white skirt down her legs, taking her underwear with it until she’s gloriously naked before me. I lean in and place a gentle kiss on the neat tuft of hair covering her pussy, relishing the familiar scent of her.
God, I’ve missed her so much.
She pulls me up to kiss me as she undoes my belt buckle and the button of my jeans. I kick off my boots and shimmy out of my pants and underwear before pushing her down on the bed and following so I’m hovering above her.
My thigh gets wedged between hers, the heat from her pussy radiating against my skin. I can’t decide if I want to taste her, finger her, or make her ride my thigh again, but we have time now. I can spend forever tasting her over and over again.
I want us to come together after so long apart.
“Has anyone ever rubbed their pussy against yours, sunshine?” I murmur against her mouth.
She shakes her head, and warmth spreads through my chest. I may not have been her first kiss or the first person she’s had sex with, but I can be the first one to let her experience this.
“Since you love grinding on my thigh, I’m sure you’ll really love it when my pussy’s grinding against yours. Do you want to try it?”
“Yes, please.”
For us to do this, we both need to be wet, and I don’t have any lube with me since this was the last thing I was expecting.
“Gotta get us nice and wet then. I’m going to kiss your cunt until it’s sloppy, and I want you to do the same to mine, okay?”
“Please.”
I grin, kissing her quickly. I could never forget how eager she is, but hearing it again has my blood running hot with lust. I missed her so damn much.
I straddle her face, and for the next few minutes, I make out with her pretty pussy as she makes out with mine. The first taste of her on my tongue after so long has me ravenous for more, and feeling her tongue tease me has my eyes rolling with pleasure.
She mimics my movements, and we tease each other until I deem us ready. Neither of us comes, but we’re both right on the edge, ready to fall together.
I help prop her up against the hotel pillows before I lie on my side and slide myself until our pussies are flush so we’re both able to grind on each other. The first roll of my hips has Juniper gasping, clutching the sheets in her fist.
I’ve done this before and found it enjoyable, but it’s completely different with someone I’m in love with.
Juniper’s hand finds mine, and we interlace our fingers as we grind against each other, our hips finding a rhythm that has us both moaning. Stars burst behind my eyelids as pleasure builds behind my hips. The glide against each other is easy with how wet we both are.
“Fuck, sunshine,” I grunt breathlessly, propping myself on my elbow so I can watch her come undone. “Your pussy feels so damn good. Tell me you’re close.”
“I’m close, please don’t stop,” she whines, her hips starting to falter.
“Never going to stop. Gonna do this for the rest of my life. Fuck, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Those words slipping from her mouth do me in, and she must feel the same because we come at the same time. Her head tips back, and she moans my name, fingers holding mine in a death grip as she comes.
When the wave of the orgasm subsides, I move so I’m spooning her from behind. My thighs are sticky from the residue of our orgasms, but I can’t find it in me to want to move to get cleaned up.
Juniper moves to sit up, but I keep her lying down. “Give me a second to hold you first. Then we can get cleaned up.”
“Okay.” She sighs, sounding happy and content, matching the way I feel.