Chapter 41 Clutch - Excellent Left Hook
CLUTCH - EXCELLENT LEFT HOOK
Remi managed to talk Four down and left me with parting words that still linger with me.
“You need to tell her why, Clutch. Tell her your heart. Stop hiding behind bravado, ego and all that macho MC bullshit. If you love her, say it. Stop pretending you’re not breakable.”
I was feeling vulnerable, exposed, “You think it would even matter?”
She hesitated. “I don’t know. But if you don’t say it, you’ll always wonder. She deserves to know... even if she chooses to stay away.”
I knew what she was saying was true, but part of me was terrified that if I did find Bex she could push me away for good. I nodded, not able to speak and stepped back, needing space… needing to find her.
Shortly after Remi left the clubhouse with Chief Gray and Jack, Cypher flagged chatter that had come in.
He had been monitoring a few high profile people we thought were involved in the trafficking ring and when a truckload of evidence hit the web it was the final link we needed.
It also happened to be the same group we were meant to protect Remi from.
It didn’t take long before Cypher got an encrypted message from an unknown source giving us the coordinates to not only help Remi and her friends but also tie up some of the few final loose ends.
Angel called Gavin asking him to bring Mara to the clubhouse and for him to help keep guard.
Four asked Dani to stay back with Cal and keep everyone left at the clubhouse calm.
Meg… Cupcake was gearing up with the rest of the club when Cypher pulled her aside, I don't know what was said.
But when he walked away from her she tried to hide the tears in her eyes and she told Angel she would stay back and keep guard with Gavin and a few of the prospects.
We made it to the forest just outside of the Chief’s cabin just in time, we moved in quickly, took out any remaining threats and managed to secure a few to question later. They were instrumental in us finding the last few predators on our list.
We had done it, we had wiped out an entire organization of monsters who profited off of trafficking children.
The last two leads on a possible location for Bex had been busts and I was starting to feel like maybe she was gone for good.
Maybe I would never get a chance to make things right.
I hated the look of pity I could see on the faces at the club, so I pulled away.
Worked on the finishing touches at the house, slept in my truck on days that I didn’t want to be around anyone, crashed at Four’s when I did and occasionally grabbed a nights sleep in a spare room at the clubhouse.
But I felt untethered, I felt restless and if I was being honest with myself… heartbroken.
I needed to do something different, so I went to Angel’s office, the door was closed so I knocked.
It took a minute but then I heard Angel, telling me to come in.
When I entered the office Cypher was behind the desk with Angel, his laptop open in front of them.
They both stared at me with looks I couldn’t place, maybe I was too tired to try to understand.
Angel cleared his throat and said, “How can I help you, Clutch?”
I sighed and then got right to it, “I need to take off for a bit, maybe a week or two. I just need to ride, clear my head. Get some space.”
I expected some push back, a reason why I was needed or club business that needed my attention. But Angel just nodded, looked at Cypher for a moment and then back to me. He tapped his knuckles on his desk twice and then said, “I think that is a good idea. I will see you back here in a week.”
I didn’t question it, I was relieved to get time away. So I left. I packed only what could be carried on my bike and didn’t look back.
For a solid week it was just me, the open road, a few rest stop motel rooms… I found so many places I thought instantly that she would love. It reminded me of the weekends we used to take in the beginning, just the two of us, no direction, just the freedom to be together.
God I missed her.
At one pit stop I watched a couple laugh picking out snacks for what looked like a road trip, when she turned murmuring “gotta get it all in while we can baby, might be the last trip we take in a while” and her bump came into view, tears came to my eyes and I had to turn away.
I didn’t even get gas, I just left and barely made it to the next stop.
I rode straight through the night on my last day out, the images of Bex pregnant toying with me. The idea that I may never see her again, hold her again, show her my love, build the life we had dreamed of…
When I got back to the clubhouse Angel wasn’t there, Ledger saying that he went on a run with Cypher.
I didn’t think much of it. I found a spare room, jumped in the shower washing the road off me and trying to ease some of the tension I was feeling from being back.
But when I came out of the bathroom and Angel was sitting on the edge of the bed with Cypher looking nervous by the doorway I didn't expect Angel to say, “We found her, brother.”
The way Cypher winced had me automatically on guard, worried something was wrong.
Angel looked over at Cypher and then my reaction, sighing he said, “She is good, healthy and safe. But…”
I blew out the breath I was holding, but was still feeling anxious. That is when I noticed the bruise on the side of Angel’s face and the cut on his eyebrow. “What the fuck happened?”
Angel looked down at his hands looking uneasy and it was Cypher who answered, “He may have pissed her off…”
My eyes snapped back to Angel and the fucker looked sheepish, “What did you do?” I demanded.
He stood, rubbing his hand down his face and wincing. “She’s got an excellent left hook.”
What the fuck?
He sighed before continuing, “Every time you went out looking for her and didn't find her you came back a little more broken. Cypher got two more leads the day you came to me asking to have a week on the road. I wanted to check them out before I gave you any more false hope.”
He was silent for a minute, so I repeated, “What did you do?”
“We found her and…”
Angel looked at his feet, like he was avoiding me. I was getting really tired of this bullshit. Finally Cypher piped up.
“He tried to tell her she had to come back with us…” He cracked a grin and then pointed to Angel's face, “That was her answer.”
I scrubbed my hands through my wet hair, “So you made it worse?”
Fuck…
Angel looked at me finally, looking guilty and apologetic, “I was trying to make amends… I thought if I went and apologized… explained. She could be here waiting for you when you got back.”
Cypher has a stupid fucking look on his face like he was enjoying this way to much, “Put that face away Cypher… how are things with Meg?”
I knew it was a low blow as soon as I said it, but, fuck, how could they have possibly made things worse with Bex.
“You’re an asshole Clutch.” He turned and on his way out of the room mumbled, “You are welcome by the way.”
I blew out a breath, trying to calm myself, “Where is she, Angel?”
I started collecting my things, planning to head straight for her when Angel asked, “You want company or… support?”
The question threw me, my stomach twisting in a knot, “Why?”
Angel took a step back and said, “Because, she’s not alone brother.”