14. Bonnie
Age 15
“Puck, what are you up to?” I laugh quietly as Puck drags me across the dark hallways.
“Be quiet, will you, or we’ll be caught,” he whispers back, clamping his hand tighter on mine as he pulls me along.
It’s past midnight, and Puck has snuck through the hallways of the Rhivers mansion, yanked me out of bed, quite literally, and is now creeping back through the shadows.
It’s dark, but I know some parts of the house, like Carlo’s study, for instance, and the main entrance always has a light on. It might seem like the house is sleeping, but it’s never quite the case. There’s always someone awake and lurking.
Though I have to admit, ninety percent of the time, it’s us.
For the past year, Puck has been sneaking into my room at an unreasonable hour so we can spend more time together, just us.
After the showdown with my father last year, things with me and Puck have been as hard as they have been wonderful.
King has finally come around, and although he’s dropped the whole protective big brother stint, we’ve done our best to not let anything change between us all. Puck is still King’s and Dax’s best friend. They hang out together like they always did, most times with me, other times without. They still go to school together, although Puck is just about to finish the last of his exams now he’s seventeen.
But we didn’t want anything to be different for King and Dax, so we try to keep our hands off each other when they’re around. When I say that, I mean, I try not to kiss him every single second of the day.
So it’s the stolen hours in the dark that we have together, when I really wish I could pause time. Every time I cuddle into Puck, I look at that broken clock on his shoulder and wish we could let the midnight hours last a lifetime.
As we continue to run down the hallways, my bare feet silent against the soft carpet, he comes to a halt at his bedroom door, and I bounce off the back of him, not quite ready for the sudden stop.
“Oww,” I say quietly, rubbing my nose where it hit Puck’s spine.
Another thing that has my hormones going crazy around Puck, even more so now than before. He’s grown, in more ways than one.
His height has shot up, and he’s definitely almost hitting seven feet. He’s a giant compared to my tiny five foot two. Then there”s his arms. They’re huge. Puck and both King and Dax are always in the gym now, and even though it’s super annoying sometimes, especially when they go on about it, I can’t complain too much whenever my eyes land on Puck. His arms are big and strong, his stomach and abs are defined and lean. He’s never been so comfortable to cuddle.
It sounds very cliché, but when his arms are around me, I’ve never felt so safe in my life. He’s like a shield that no bullet or sword could break through. And he’s my shield, always there to protect me.
Oh, and did I mention the tattoos?
Puck has been continuously adding to his skin with various tattoos that are now scattered all over both arms and extending onto his chest and back.
Some might say he’s addicted, but it’s an addiction I can definitely get on board with.
He looks hot.
At first, I wondered how he could afford it all. Little did I know, King’s been throwing the family name around a lot in the tattoo parlour.
Puck opens his bedroom door and lets me enter, shutting the door softly behind him, when his arms wrap around my waist.
My mouth drops open a little as I look at Puck’s room. His double bed that normally sits in the far-right corner has been dragged into the middle of the room and is surrounded by thick white sheets. The TV is hidden under the fort and little gold fairy lights are blinking dimly from under the covers.
“Did you do all of this?” I ask, my hands coming up to grab his arms, my fingers tracing the patterns mindlessly.
“Most of it. The fairy lights were Mum’s, since she said it would be cuter.” He laughs, and I twist my neck to look up at him.
“You told your mum you were building me a fort?” I smile, and he shakes his head, a little laugh escaping his lips.
“Actually, no, she walked in on me building you a fort. Much more embarrassing.”
I laugh at that and picture Maria walking in on Puck hanging sheets from the ceiling and giving him some fairy lights.
He lets go of me, slightly pushing me forwards.
“Go and get in. There’re snacks.”
“Oh wow, you really know how to treat a girl.” I wink, and Puck slaps me on my butt gently as I push ahead.
Giggling, I reach the edge of the bed and pull a white sheet back slightly so I can crawl through.
My eyes widen in awe as I sit on the soft mattress and look at the effort Puck has gone through for this setup.
There are pillows and cushions everywhere, a tray with popcorn, biscuits, crisps, and fizzy drinks in the centre. The TV is placed at the end of the bed, still hidden amongst the sheets and lights.
“Puck, this is so cute!” I squeal as he crawls in behind me.
He gets himself comfy, and then pulls my arm, until I end up flopping next to him, half curled onto his body.
He leans down, kissing my lips, a bruising kiss that’s full of passion and love. I reach my hands up behind his neck, forcing my way closer to him, and with one arm around my waist, the other comes to rest on my cheek, angling my head so he can make the kiss deeper.
His tongue slides out and briefly wets my bottom lip, and like every single time, my stomach twists and my mouth opens, welcoming it.
Like I said, when I’m around King and Dax, I try not to kiss him every single second because this is heaven, and I can never seem to find it in me to stop.
For a few weeks after our first kiss in the woods, Puck would always lean in to kiss me, little pecks here and there, until eventually, he opened his mouth and mine reciprocated. When his tongue collided with mine, I almost went into a frenzy.
You see, I’ve seen it in the movies, and I’ve read about it a lot.
And though often it comes across as kissing can be overrated.
Well, those people have never kissed Puck, because I could drown in his kisses forever and never come up for air.
I always wondered what it really felt like, what the girls in my books meant when they said they see stars, when their head goes dizzy, their stomachs twist and flutter. When they clamp their thighs together.
I feel it all.
And I never want to feel another emotion again.
Puck pulls away and looks from my red, wet lips, then back to my eyes a few times, and I smile, trying not to come across too giddy, even though I can never hide it that well.
“We’ll never watch the movie if we don’t stop now,” he says a little breathlessly, and I laugh.
“I’m okay with that,” I whisper back, and Puck leans in once more to peck my lips before tucking me under his arm.
“What are we watching?” I ask curiously, reaching for the popcorn and shoving a handful in my mouth.
“Well, I thought we could go old school and watch Peter Pan, because you never watch it much anymore. You’re too busy swooning over a different Peter,” Puck laughs.
“Hey!” I lean up onto my elbow, looking at him. “Peter Kavinsky is every girl”s dream,” I protest.
“Oh yeah, but is he better than me?”
“That’s such a Kavinsky thing to say.” I roll my eyes, and Puck pokes me in the side.
“But, I would love to watch Peter Pan with you.”
I kiss his cheek, and Puck shakes his head, humour sparkling in his eyes.
We watch Peter Pan, followed by To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, because one, I always get my way, and two, I know Puck secretly likes it. It’s almost four in the morning when both films are finished.
My head is on Puck’s chest, and his shirt has lifted at the bottom, showing off the edge of his tanned stomach, and my fingers mindlessly tickle the skin just above his joggers.
It’s only happened a couple of times, both times ignored by either one of us. I’ve been too shy to bring it up, and I guess Puck never wanted to. But this time, there’s no ignoring it.
Remember when I said he’s grown in more ways than one?
The growing bulge in Puck’s grey joggers is obvious as my fingers trace the waistband.
I’m not na?ve. I’ve had more chats with Maria, much to my embarrassment, about safe sex and all that jazz. And I know we’re not ready yet. I am still fifteen, after all.
But the feeling between my thighs when we kiss isn’t coincidental. The curiosity of his growing bulge under his joggers from my fingers isn’t an accident.
I’m discovering the way my body reacts to things, and it’s all very confusing.
“Bon,” Puck says softly, and I pause my fingers instantly, too embarrassed to look up at him.
Puck is seventeen, and he’s curious, way more than I am. I know he’ll touch himself when he gets turned on, like I do sometimes in the dark.
It’s a hard concept to make sense of in my mind, and without any girlfriends to ask, I feel a little lost.
There’s only so much I can talk about with Maria.
“Hey,” Puck says again, lifting my chin up with his fingers so my eyes meet his.
“One day.” He reaches down to kiss my lips.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pink tinting my cheeks.
“Don’t say sorry. Don’t ever apologise. God, Bonnie, there’s nothing I’d want more than to explore these feelings with you, and we will, soon. Just not right now. We’re doing this properly, okay? I’m not doing anything to mess this up. You’re still only fifteen, and if my mum has taught me anything, it’s to do things right. We both need to make sure you’re ready, okay?”
I nod, a little embarrassed and also annoyed that we’re two years apart in age and life.
“Hey, we have all the time in the world, remember? Till Neverland.”
“Till Neverland,” I reply, kissing him again deeply, until I eventually fall asleep on his chest.