15. Puck
Age 17
The bulge in my pants is still just as prominent after we spent more mindless minutes kissing and long after she fell asleep on me.
Feeling her fingers trace just above my waistband was torture, and even though I did everything in my willpower to avoid it, I couldn’t control my body any more than my mind.
I can’t deny it isn’t hard every single day, just looking at her, that I want to do more than kiss her. But I’m also not going to pressure, push, or take this further.
Like I said, we have loads of time.
She’s still so young that until she can confidently say it’s something she wants, I won’t go there with her. I don’t want her to resent me.
So instead, I’ll do what I’ve been doing for the past few years. Once I’m in the shower, I can take care of myself.
Bonnie is prone to just barging through my bedroom door whenever she pleases, if she knows she won’t get caught by Carlo, so I try not to do it when I’m in bed.
I don”t want Bon to walk in on me.
Carlo’s threat has also been sitting in the back of my mind since it left his mouth.
Would he really use her like that? Sell her off to someone, use her as a pawn, take away her innocence, her life?
But of course he would. He’s Carlo Rhivers, and there’s nothing that man wouldn’t do, especially to a daughter he claims he doesn’t even want to have.
My hands ball into fists again when I think of all the ways he’s treated Bonnie and my urge to fight to protect her grows stronger with every passing second.
I can’t let him win this.
This is mine and Bonnie’s war, and we’ll come out on top, seeing Carlo choke on our dust as we flee.
I stroke a hand down Bonnie’s long dark hair, feeling her chest rise and fall softly as she sleeps peacefully on my chest.
The urge to write is strong, so I extract her gently, careful not to wake her, and place her next to me on the cushions and duvets.
Grabbing my journal and a pen, I open it to the next available page, which is almost towards the end of the book, and begin to write.
Bon,
I’ll never say no to you. I don’t think the word could ever actually leave my lips.
If you want the world, I’ll give it to you.
If you want me, I’ll hand myself over and sign my life away.
I am yours in every way, Bonnie Rhivers.
I would never say no to you, but I am saying just not right now. I can’t wait for the day I can have you in all the other ways a man loves his girl. But right now, your heart is exactly what I want, and all I need. And that will always be enough, no matter what.
Second star on the right…
Till Neverland,
Puck