Chapter 20
~Hudson~
Christian messaged me last night to give me a head’s up that he spilled the beans.
Riley knew about me asking him to keep an eye out for her, and since I’m guessing she didn’t take that news too well, I approach her warily at the boarding gate at the airport.
She’d already left when I got down to the lobby this morning, which makes this our first interaction of the day.
Sunglasses hide her eyes from me, giving me no indication what she might be thinking as I offer a tentative smile.
“Hey. You ready for the long flight home?”
“I guess. Not like I have much choice.”
Her words come out flat and I try not to wince. She’s still angry with me, either over the way things ended between us last night or because I had Christian spy on her.
Probably both.
Since I don’t want to make things any more difficult for her, I give her a choice: “I think we’re sitting next to each other on the flight to Amsterdam, but if you want me to switch with someone else, I can.”
Blake would probably move mountains to get me next to her, though I really don’t want to encourage her.
A heavy sigh leaves Riley’s lips. “No, don’t change it. We should talk and it’ll be more private there.”
Glancing around, I can see what she means; already, several curious pairs of eyes watch us.
Gossip travels fast around the club and although I’m not sure what story they’ve decided to spin about us, it seems people are paying attention.
“Alright. I’m gonna go pick up some drinks for the flight. Do you want anything?”
“No. Thank you.”
The corners of her lips lift into a tentative smile that gives me hope. Maybe her subdued mood isn’t entirely because of me?
On the plane, Riley chooses the window seat, and as soon as we’re settled, I start to offer an apology. “I’m sorry about getting Christian involved last night. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, but I apologize if it crossed the line.”
“It annoyed me at the time, but I know your intentions were good. It’s okay.”
Finally, she takes her sunglasses off, and I can see the bags under her eyes that tell me she didn’t get much sleep last night. She still looks beautiful, but tired and a little sad. I miss her smile already.
“I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I told you I didn’t want to get involved with anyone at the club and then I threw myself at you. Talk about mixed signals.”
A smile tries to work its way onto her face, but it won’t stick. It fades away again as quickly as it came, so I try to coax it back out again.
“Don’t worry about it. I was flattered, and for my part, I’m still very much interested in dating you if you change your mind.”
Riley leans back, her head against the headrest, and closes her eyes as she exhales. Although she’s right beside me, the space between us still feels vast. “I’m definitely not ready to date anyone. Last night made that perfectly clear.”
Well, fuck. Those aren’t the words I want to hear, and I want to know where they’re coming from. “Because of what happened between us?”
“Yes. And no. I mean, not just that. There was the club too, and when I got back to my room, I finally read through all my messages, like you said I should.”
The plane starts to taxi towards the runway, but Riley seems distracted enough not to even notice it.
Completely focused on her, I barely notice either.
Reading those messages is a good step; even if they upset her, it’s better in the long run for her to deal with those emotions rather than pretending they don’t exist.
“What did they say?”
Her eyes meet mine as her head rolls towards me, her expression drenched in uncertainty. “Trevor claims it was a mistake. Evelyn says it had been building for a long time. Honestly, it feels like they aren’t even talking about the same thing.”
“That’s weird.”
“Yeah.” She pulls her phone out of her pocket as if she’s going to look at the messages again before changing her mind and shoving it into the pocket of the seat in front of her instead. “I don’t know what to believe.”
“Does it change the way you feel either way?”
She thinks it over for a few beats before replying. “Honestly? No. Cheating is a hard limit for me and Trevor knew that. We talked about it. Whether it happened once or fifty times, drunk or sober, it really doesn’t matter. It still happened, and that’s enough for me.”
I can respect that, but I also pick up on something else she said. “Is he saying he was drunk?”
Her head slowly bobs. “Yeah, he said…” She trails off as she pulls the phone out from the seat pocket, unlocks it, and hands it to me. “Why don’t you just read them?”
“Are you sure?” The phone in my hand feels heavy with significance. Naturally, I’m curious, but I don’t want to overstep any boundaries.
“It’ll save me the hassle of repeating everything they said,” Riley points out. “And besides, I’m curious what you make of it with an outsider’s perspective.”
She glances out the window beside her, looking surprised to see that we’re about to take off.
“Do you need me to distract you?” I offer.
Riley shakes her head. “I’m okay. Just read.”
Based on what she told me, I decide to read through Evelyn’s messages first. When I’ve scanned them all, I go back and read Trevor’s, and I immediately see what Riley means. There’s a strong disconnect between the two responses and my brain is buzzing with theories by the time I finish.
“Well?” Riley’s big brown eyes scan me curiously, and a little nervously.
“Honestly, it sounds to me like she took advantage of him being drunk. She pretty much admits she’s been lusting after him for a while, and when she got a chance to make a move, she took it. She sounds like a terrible friend.”
My last words come out angrier than I intend them to, but honestly: what the fuck? Who does that to someone they claim to be friends with?
A faint smile graces Riley’s lips. “You don’t think it’s his fault, then?”
“Oh, I’m not letting him completely off the hook.
He’s the one who went out and got drunk enough to not be fully aware of his actions and didn’t put a stop to things when he had the chance.
He screwed up, but based on my completely outsider reading of the whole thing, I don’t think he had any kind of feelings for Evelyn before that night, or afterwards either.
It might have been a mistake, but you’re completely entitled to say that it’s a mistake you can’t forgive. ”
She takes the phone back from me and turns it around in her hands a few times as she mulls things over. “Do you think leaving without talking to him was cruel? I’ve never been good at conflict. When things get uncomfortable, I just leave.”
Like she did last night, I suppose.
I want to tell her she’d never be intentionally cruel, and that if he really understood her, he’d have known she left out of self-preservation and not a desire to cause him pain. But the words stick in my throat, tangled with the fear that if I say the wrong thing, I’ll push her away even further.
In the end, I stick to more neutral ground.
“I understand the instinct to remove yourself from a difficult situation, but in the long run, I think you need to face these things. Burying your feelings doesn’t help anything. It doesn’t help you. Reading these messages was a good step forward.”
“I think I needed it,” she agrees softly before shoving the phone back in her pocket again, for good this time. “Thank you for putting up with me. With all of this.”
“There’s nothing to ‘put up’ with,” I promise truthfully.
Her attempt at a smile turns into a wide yawn, and I grin.
“Do you want to take a nap before we get to Amsterdam?”
“I think I should,” she agrees, and before long, she’s fast asleep beside me.
This trip certainly had its highs and lows, but we’re heading back to Edmonton as closer friends than ever, and for now, I’ll take that as a win.