Chapter 18 #2
“Enough! Stop your whining. You think this is easy for me? Who dragged you through the snow all night while you lay like a princess on your lazy ass?”
She flinched, and for the first time, Glenn saw fear in her blue eyes—fear of him.
It shocked him to his marrow.
He covered his face with his gloved hands. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have cursed. Papa’s just tired. I didn’t mean to raise my voice.” He rested his backside against what was left of an old saw, the blade long gone, rusted out and broken. Summer sat crying on the frozen ground.
It had been a long night, and he was exhausted. He hadn’t eaten in more than twelve hours. Neither had she. “We’re gonna rest here for the day, and then we’ve got a bit more traveling to do before we get to our new home.”
Her pale brows pulled together in confusion. “You have a new house?”
“We’re gonna go somewhere warm where we can swim in the sea every day. Mexico or Costa Rica? How’d ya like that?”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Can Mommy come too?”
He pursed his lips. “Sure. As soon as I get everything set up nice, we’ll invite Mommy. Sound good?”
She nodded but wouldn’t quite meet his gaze.
He opened his arms for a hug. She hesitated for a split-second before she stood and threw herself against his side.
That hesitation almost broke him.
He was doing this for her. For them. So they could be together.
He wrapped his arms tight around her and rocked.
Michelle had done this. Driven in a wedge. Forced his hand. And now he was in this position where his own daughter was losing faith in him. His own daughter.
She started to cough again, and he touched her forehead.
She felt cold. Too cold. A fine shiver raced over her body, and he knew he had to risk a fire.
Hopefully the smoke would dissipate in the upper reaches of the warehouse and leak through the gaps in the roof in such a way that it wouldn’t be visible.
Forecast was to stay cloudy all day anyway.
“Come on. There’s some old pallets over in that corner. I’m going to build a fire over there, and we can get warm and roast that rabbit I caught. Then I have a nice little hidey hole where we’re going to get a few hours’ sleep. How does that sound?”
She nodded tentatively and swallowed, gripped her throat. “It’s sore, Papa. My throat is really sore when I swallow.”
He felt her forehead again. She just had a cold. A nasty cold. “I’ll warm some water and I’ll make you some nice tea with honey in it. Sound good?”
The blue of her eyes was stark against the bloodshot whites and ghostly pale of her skin. The only exception to the pallor was the ruby tip of her runny nose.
She nodded and then grabbed the blanket to huddle under.
The sled made a horrible scraping sound as he dragged it over the concrete. Didn’t matter. There was no one else for miles.
Hopefully, their pursuers were dead or injured.
But that creeping feeling was making its way up his spine. Prickling over his skin like someone had dipped him in vinegar. These were the instincts that had saved him in combat a time or two, and he trusted them more than he trusted anything.
The danger was still out there. Still hunting him. Trying to steal Summer.
He’d kill every one of those motherfuckers before he let anyone take her. Every single one.
Nora sat quietly, feeling as if she were in a fugue state. They were in a helicopter, headed back to the cabin—her, Chance, Sebastian, Cas, Ryan, Meghan, and Grady.
The others had been waiting for them when they’d returned to the mine, full of questions. It had been easy to avoid speaking to Sebastian since then.
Ryan Sullivan sent her a cautious smile, but she stared straight through him. The fact Sebastian and Ryan knew her secret, something so foundational and fundamental to who she was, stripped her to the core.
This whole time she’d believed she was the one in control, but Sebastian had known about her hideous experiences and had pretended not to.
And she’d trusted him.
It sucked the breath out of her lungs and made a stone the size of a boulder settle in her stomach. No one knew except for her bosses, and they’d kept the information confidential, as they should.
She didn’t share that shit with anyone, not even her closest friends, and no one had linked the twenty-year-old abduction of Mary Eleanor Deacon, Vermont, to NPS Law Enforcement Ranger Nora Deacon, Montana—except this one guy from the FBI.
She shook as she inhaled.
She liked that separation. She needed that separation.
Now Nora felt as if she were standing here naked, wounds and flaws exposed to anyone who glanced her way.
Had Ryan told the others? She questioned every interaction over the last few days.
Was Cas’s sweet smile the result of compassion?
Was Meghan’s watchful gaze because she thought Nora would fall apart when push came to shove?
Had Sebastian’s gentle lovemaking last night been reverence—or was he being careful with the broken girl? The victim.
She gnawed her bottom lip. Sebastian believed he knew the worst about her past, when he’d only skimmed the surface.
The idea of him finding out the whole truth tangled her up until she could barely breathe.
The reality was raw and ugly, and something she needed to come to terms with in her own time.
She’d acted in self-defense and then buried the memory so deep it had taken two decades to emerge.
Part of her ached to confide in Sebastian, but he’d already proven to be someone she couldn’t trust.
In her peripheral vision, she saw him shoot her a concerned glance, but she refused to meet his gaze.
She swallowed the knot in her throat. She’d been attracted to him from the moment she’d met the bastard.
It was galling to remember that she was the one who’d misinterpreted what he’d said last night, twisted his words into a reciprocal attraction he’d been too professional to act upon without her making the first move.
Instead, he’d been fishing for a confession of her deepest, darkest secret, and she’d thrown herself at him. And he’d thrown himself right back.
And it had felt like a kind of heaven for a few short hours.
But she hadn’t known he’d deceived her. Hadn’t yet remembered striking that rock against flesh and bone until it split and shattered. She hunched her shoulders.
How ironic that it was in Sebastian’s arms that her subconscious had finally felt safe enough to cough up the full story.
What would he do if he discovered what she’d done?
They were both trained to use lethal force if the situation warranted, but what if he wanted her to make a formal statement before she was ready?
Shivers wracked her body.
She wanted to trust him. But how could she after he’d deceived her? How could she trust him when she didn’t even trust herself?
The helicopter landed, and she jumped out with her dog.
She was aware of the curious stares she was getting from the rest of the team because of her stony silence, but she didn’t care.
She headed toward the cabin, which was busy with newcomers.
Another team. Chance whined, and she looked over to see Max and Bruno walking toward them.
Ugh.
Max clasped her shoulders and pulled her rigid body in for a tight hug. “Heard you went through the ice,” he murmured against her brow in something too close to a kiss. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
She caught Sebastian watching them.
Bruno growled at Chance, and she pulled away from Max. She didn’t want to deal with him right now. “I need to check my gear.”
Max stuck out his hand to Sebastian who’d come up behind her. “I heard you saved Nora yesterday. You have no idea how grateful I am for that.”
Sebastian frowned at Max’s hand and then back at Nora. “She saved herself. I just happened to be there.”
Nausea churned inside her stomach. He was lying to protect her, to cover her incompetence. “That’s not true. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Operator Black’s actions. You’d have pulled my body out of the river in the spring.”
Max tried to put his arm around her shoulders, but she shrugged away. She did not want anyone to touch her right now.
Sebastian watched them both, expressionless.
“I’m tired. I need to sort out my equipment before we head out again.” She walked inside the cabin, Chance on her heels. Saw it was empty and leaned her forehead against the rough wooden wall and inhaled until her lungs felt as if they might explode.
Everything felt too much—Sebastian, the dream, Summer—especially Summer. She wanted to burst into tears and get the hell out of here, but she couldn’t go anywhere. Summer needed her, and she needed to help the girl in any way she could.
Her work was the only thing that gave her life meaning. And now she knew why. If she saved enough innocents, perhaps she’d earn some forgiveness for what she’d done. All these years her subconscious had known she needed to atone, she just hadn’t known why.
Now she did.
The door opened, and she straightened. Swiped at the single tear that had escaped and pulled a tissue out of her pocket to blow her nose.
“Are you crying?” Max came inside sounding shocked. “Did he hurt you?”
Nora pulled a face. “He saved my life.” But he had hurt her. After sharing the best sex she’d ever had, he’d somehow managed to rip her to shreds. “And I’m not crying, my eyes are watering from the wind in the helicopter.”
“The way you bolted…” He looked at her strangely.
“Yeah, I wanted a minute to myself.”
“I get it.” He did a series of side stretches, and she realized he wasn’t going anywhere.
Christ. Subtext was lost on Max. His border collie, Bruno, came over and sniffed Chance’s rear end. Chance sat and pressed himself against her legs. Bruno showed his teeth. She gave both dogs a pepperoni stick and then shooed Bruno away.
Chance stayed where he was as Bruno patrolled the cabin, each keeping a wary eye on the other.
“What did you find when you were out? Any signs?” Nora wanted to keep Max on task. He was a good SAR guy. The best.