Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Thirteen Years Before
Raine
T he sun is hot against my back, covering me like a comforting blanket. I pick at the petals of a dandelion flower, allowing the wind to sweep them away from my fingertips, as I sit on the porch steps outside of my mom’s house and wait for Ryland to pick me up. Waves are crashing inside my stomach as each second passes. He’s never seen my home before, and I’m embarrassed for him to see where I live.
It’s a small brick house near downtown in a small neighborhood. My grandparents helped my dad buy the house right before he married my mom. They were supposed to start a family here, but instead, the world had other plans.
The landscaping could use some work, weeds have taken over the flowerbeds, the lawn is four weeks past due for mowing, and the bushes have grown over most of the front windows. Not to mention all the junk that is laying around that Davis brought over with him once he officially moved in to live with us. Thankfully, Davis isn’t home at the moment.
It’s rare that I get to see Ryland outside of school during the week. However, he got his license a few days ago, and Pops told him he could celebrate by picking me up. But Pops is tagging along since it’s his truck that Ryland is driving.
I hear the familiar purr of the engine before I see the boxy orange truck pull onto my street and into my driveway. I practically run toward it, not able to contain the huge smile that spreads across my face as it does anytime I’m around Ryland.
Pops opens the door for me to hop inside, and I’m sandwiched between him and Ryland. It feels odd seeing Ryland behind the wheel. And yet, somehow, it makes him appear more grown-up and confident. I like this look on him, probably more than I should, but I keep the feelings locked deep inside.
We're just friends , my subconscious likes to remind me.
Ryland’s full lips pull into a grin, and the way he looks down at me makes my heart feel like it’s falling down onto the floorboard of the truck. I take my eyes away from him because I don’t like how it makes me feel. Okay, I do like it, but his Pops is right next to me, and I also don’t want to complicate things
“I made us a CD for today,” he says, holding up the shiny circle so I can see his handwriting over the silver surface. The title says, Raine and Ryland’s Epic Mix , and on the sides he wrote each song title. It has a mixture of nineties country and early two-thousands pop—a little bit of him, a little bit of me. The thought of him putting the music together for us sends warmth into my gut.
“Do people still burn CDs? It’s 2011,” I say, turning to face the windshield so Ryland can’t see the pink spreading across my cheeks.
“Only the cool people still do.” He hitches a shoulder, grinning at me when I tuck my hair behind my ear and peek up at him through my lashes. “Plus, an MP3 player won’t work in Pops’ old truck.”
We share a laugh when Pops rolls his eyes and grunts at our choice in music, but he allows us to play whatever we want. We decide to go to some of our favorite spots at the edge of town. Our first stop is Matty’s Meats. I know the name is strange, however Matt loves to cook all types of meats. He offers burgers, steaks, pork tenderloins, and more. One weekend a month, he even offers exotic meats. It’s interesting, and the townsfolk love it here, including Pops. It’s his favorite restaurant.
Once we take our seats, Ryland dares me to try to eat the “Mighty Matt Burger", which is made up of four thick hamburger patties with melted cheese between each layer and triple the toppings. It’s huge. I agree but only if he will try it too. Somehow, we talk Pops into joining the challenge, and before we know it, a crowd begins to form around us as the three of us chow down.
I have to admit, it’s the best burger I’ve ever eaten in my life. However, I’m the first to tap out without even finishing a quarter of the burger. Ryland has a little over half of his burger eaten before he has to quit. Pops surprises us all as he keeps going and going until the very last greasy bite is gone.
The whole restaurant cheers as he swallows the last bite. They place a fake gold metal around Pops’ neck and take a picture of him, hanging it up on their wall of Mighty Meat Lovers , which holds three other photos. The proud look that spreads across Ryland’s face fills my heart with so much joy. He insists that we go and get ice cream to celebrate.
Pops looks sickened by the thought of eating anything else but doesn’t protest. We drive across town to Frozen Scoops, singing as loud as we can to the music and sharing giggles as we catch Pops bopping his head to a few of the songs.
I never want this day to end.
Ryland wrinkles his nose at my choice of ice cream. “How can you enjoy mint in ice cream form?”
I roll my eyes, pretending to ignore his comment, as I take a lick of the tingly flavor. My cheeks burn as I catch him watching me. “It makes it taste extra cold and refreshing. It’s the perfect flavor for hot days,” I reply and shrug my shoulders, trying my best to ignore the lava running through my veins. The ice cream does nothing to help me chill .
“Cookie dough is by far a better flavor.” He raises a challenging brow before pulling his ice cream to his lips, licking his towering two scoops from top to bottom, and now I’m the one watching his movements closely. He smirks knowingly, and it's enough to snap me back to reality, and I avert my eyes. Why does my best friend have to be so hot?
“Have you ever tried mint ice cream before?”
“Why would I even think to try it? I bet it tastes like brushing your teeth right after eating chocolate.” He shudders at the thought, and I let out a giggle.
“Try it,” I tell him and hold out my cone. I laugh as Ryland wrinkles his nose. “Please.”
He rolls his eyes, leans over, and takes a lick of my ice cream. My eyes widen at the sight, and I wait patiently for his response. He smacks his lips together, using his tongue to wipe the ice cream at the corner of his mouth, and gives me a thoughtful look. “Nope. Not for me.”
Before I can argue with him, Pops walks up with a cup in his hand and points a spoon full of dark-pink ice cream toward us. “That’s because the best flavor of ice cream is sherbert.”
Ryland looks over at me, and we both burst with laughter. “Pops, you’re showing your age with your choice in ice cream flavor,” Ryland deadpans before taking another bite of his cone.
Pops rolls his eyes and takes the empty seat next to me. “You kids have it all wrong with your chocolate-flavored everything. Sherbert is where it’s at.”
Ryland and I steal licks from each other’s cones, refusing to admit that we like the other’s flavor, before finishing up and hopping back into the truck. Pops requests a quick trip to the nearest Walmart so he can pick up a few things. Ryland and I choose to load up on snacks. How we are still hungry is beyond me.
Driving around with Ryland and Pops has been one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Unfortunately, it’s a school night, and we both need to head home before it gets too late. Ryland pulls the truck into the driveway of my house, and I freeze as soon as I notice Davis’ black truck sitting in the driveway.
Ryland senses my hesitation, his eyes searching my face when I turn and look at him. “I’m going to walk her to the door,” he says to Pops, his hazel eyes never leaving mine.
Pops hums an approval, his eyes closed and a hand on his stomach, clearly uncomfortable from our choices today. “See you around, Raine.”
“See ya,” I say softly before following Ryland out of the truck through his door.
He reaches down and takes my hand into his as we walk toward the door. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, especially when I see the curtains to the living room window move as someone watches us. I close my eyes, inhale a breath, and wait for Davis to stomp outside and cause a scene. But he never does.
I tug Ryland toward one of the overgrown bushes, where I know we’ll be hidden from watchful eyes. I’ve wanted a moment alone with him all day. Even if it’s only a minute. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. “Thank you for today,” I whisper and give him a gentle squeeze.
“You’re welcome. Oh, hey, I snuck and got you something at Walmart when you were in the restroom.” His lips curl over his teeth as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small gold chain that has a rainbow pendant dangling from it. I raise a brow, taking it into my hands to study, before he explains. “Remember in church, last Sunday, when they were talking about Noah and how the rainbow brings us hope and beauty after a storm.”
I stare at him, my lips parting in surprise. “Yeah.”
If I could bottle up one look of Ryland’s to have forever, it would be the way he is looking at me right now. His eyes, greener in the setting sunlight, hold a sparkle to them as they dance with my own. The side of his lip is turned up into a shy grin, one that speaks so much more than words could ever say.
“You’re like that. You bring a rainbow wherever you go. So, I just, um…wanted to give you this.”
This is the sweetest, kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. To know that he saw this and wanted to gift it to me makes me feel like I’m floating in the clouds. He probably meant this as a nice gift between two friends, but to me, it feels like so much more.
“Will you help me put it on?” I ask, handing the necklace to him and turning around.
He hesitates for a moment until his fingers graze the back of my neck, sending goosebumps across the exposed skin. “Yeah,” he says, his voice raspier than before.
My hands hang loosely by my sides, and I feel his fingers run down my arm until they snag the hair tie I keep around my wrist. He slides it off and runs his fingers through my hair before pulling the strands into a braid. I love it when he does this. Once the braid is finished, he allows it to fall over my shoulder. He places the necklace around my neck, and the rainbow pendant falls against the dip of my collarbone once it’s fastened.
“Thank you. I love it,” I announce and touch it with my fingers. I’ll never take this necklace off.
“I’m glad, Rainbow.”
“Is that my nickname now?” I question, and he gives me a grin in return.
“Yeah. I want it to be a special nickname just for me.”
I practically jump into his arms, almost causing us both to fall down, and the plastic bag in my hand swings as it bumps against his back. He chuckles and wraps his arms around me in another hug before I pull away and move my braid over my shoulder. He looks down at me, his brows pinched together in a discomforting look, and he parts his lips to say something.
“I— ”
The words seem to be lodged in his throat. He coughs, his shoulders tensing up, and the glossiness in his eyes washes away with a blink. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
I wave goodbye as he leaves and watch the truck back out of the driveway, the sense of dread hitting me as soon as he is gone. As I shut the front door behind me, Davis' voice fills the space.
“Where the hell have you been?” he shouts, and I cringe at the sound.
Beside him on the couch sits my mom, who is clinging to a bottle of beer. She pulls it toward her lips and looks over at me with empty eyes and says nothing. She has never stuck up for me before. I’m not sure why I still hope that she will, but instead, she allows Davis to do and say whatever he wants to me. Even though she's physically here, it's as if she’s abandoned me.
“Ryland has his license now and took me to get something to eat.” Since we don’t have anything to eat in this house , I want to say but bite my tongue. “His grandpa went with us,” I add.
“You don’t just leave without telling your mother where you’re going. She was worried sick.”
I’m not sure what comes over me at this moment, but something inside of me snaps, and my anger toward my mother and Davis lashes out. “Yeah, she seems really worried. She was passed out drunk when I went to ask for her approval. I thought since it’s okay for her to be unconscious around her child, it wouldn’t matter if I left for a little while.”
My mother’s eyes widen once the words leave my mouth. She cowers deeper into the couch as Davis twists around and looks at her with disgust. Her eyes snap back to me, a little bit of emotion sparking back to life inside her.
“Raine, go clean up the kitchen and then go to your room,” she growls, trying to sound demanding, but all I hear is fear laced within her words.
I roll my eyes, ignoring his words about how I’m worthless and disrespectful, and head into the kitchen where I find Luke at the sink, washing the dishes .
“Hey,” I say, feeling relieved the instant I see him. I’m so happy he is here, even though I know how much being here makes him unhappy. It does for me too, but at least we have each other—some of the time, anyway. His dark eyes look dimmer today, the usual light in them gone. Davis does that to those around him.
“Want to share?” I add, holding up the plastic bag in my hand, hoping I can make Luke’s day better.
He blinks, as if recovering from a trance, before looking at the bag. “He’s been in a bad mood since finding out you weren’t here. He kept demanding that I tell him where you were, and he had his goons out looking for you.”
The color drains from my face. I didn’t think about the consequences of leaving. I just left at the first opportunity that I could. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You could’ve gone with us if I knew you were coming over,” I add as he dries his hands off with a towel.
“It’s okay. Mom dropped me off about an hour ago. I’m not allowed to go into my room until I do the chores.” He huffs, and I instantly feel regret.
“I took off the second I could. I was going to do the dishes when I got back home.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault my dad is a jerk who’s apparently obsessed with you.”
I swallow hard at his statement. Davis is controlling over the both of us, but I have noticed he’s harsher on me, always demanding to know where I am at all times. The fact that he had his friends out looking for me makes a chill run deep into my bones.
Davis stomps his way into the kitchen, his bloodshot eyes snapping between the two of us before they land on the bag in my hand. He walks over, and I flinch with the movement, not missing the way Luke places his hands onto my shoulders and moves me to stand behind him.
“The next time you decide to leave without telling me, there will be consequences. Do you understand?” he hisses before he eyes the bag again. “What are you hiding?”
He shoves Luke out of the way so he can snatch the bag from my hand. He pulls out two containers of ramen noodles, a Snickers bar, and two bags of chips before tossing the bag back toward me.
I look inside, and all that’s left are three Milky Ways. I’m surprised he even left those. As I always do, instead of yelling back at Davis, I keep my true feelings buried deep inside and turn to rush off into my room, dragging Luke behind me. I shut the door behind us and feel my tears trying to betray me.
“He’s such an—” Luke mumbles but stops once his eyes land on me. “Hey…”
“Why is it okay that he treats us like this?” I say, my voice trembling, and I take a seat on my bed.
“I don’t know. But it won’t be forever,” he says and sits on the bed next to me.
“Here.” I reach into my jeans pockets, thankful they’re a little baggy, and pull out a few bags of candy, beef jerky, and ramen packages from my back pocket that I hid before coming inside. We both laugh softly.
“You’re awesome,” he whispers before unwrapping a Milky Way and taking a big bite.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I add, his eyes piercing into mine with a knowing look behind them before we return to our dinner.
I cling to the rainbow necklace around my neck and think about the hope Ryland was speaking about. I pray for God to place hope into Luke’s and my hearts that, one day soon, we can both get away from Davis. And that no matter what, we will always have each other.