Chapter 18
Cordelia’s wits were beginning to scramble, but she needed to ask him this before he kissed her, or she would lose all grasp of sense. Nicholas stiffened at her question, however, and when he pulled back to look at her, he was frowning.
“While I have heard all manner of bawdy talk and ways to lure someone into one’s bed, I have never heard this.”
A smirk hung at the corners of his mouth, and he had not moved away, his hands still about her waist, so she was hopeful that he would not shy away now.
The sudden urge to know more about him had come upon her that evening.
She wanted more, especially now that she knew she wanted him to kiss her and to touch her.
But when she’d seen his gaze upon her as she’d descended the stairs that evening, she knew that there was more to him than what he let on.
And then, with his kindness that evening to her, and to her family, she needed to hear more from him than flirtations and jokes.
She hesitated only a moment before she continued. “You have not spoken much of your family; I’ve only heard bits and pieces from Mrs. Wright. Helen also knew very little.”
“You asked Helen about me?” he asked her, a brow lifting. Cordelia blushed, and that only entertained Nicholas more. “You were curious about me even then, weren’t you? Swayed just like the other ladies by a handsome face?”
He was chuckling, and she lifted her chin to look into his eyes. “Hardly, Your Grace,” she said drily. “Only learning about my enemies, you see.”
He frowned again. “And is this what this is? Learning more about your enemies?”
His hands tightened on her waist, and Cordelia swallowed. No, she could not be swayed. He was attempting to distract her, but she had to push through, at least a little.
“We live together now, Nicholas. We are man and wife. I should like to know more about the man and woman who raised you.”
Nicholas stepped away at long last, rubbing at the back of his neck and then pushing a hand through his hair.
“My mother died at my birth, and my father hardly did the work of raising me. There is little more to say about the man. He was unable to build anything and could only destroy. He drank and gambled himself into an early grave.” Nicholas was avoiding her eyes throughout that speech, but now he looked at her.
“I had to learn to build something from nothing. Although I’m sure that dastardly nature still lives in me. With the desire to destroy.”
“That’s not true.” Cordelia pushed away from the wall and took a few steps toward him.
Nicholas scoffed. “Of all people, Cordelia, surely you would be the one to believe this. I’m a rake through and through, remember?”
He was smirking a little, but she could see the tension in his face.
“Perhaps,” she said, “It is not all the way through. In the past weeks since we have lived together, I have seen things. I suspect that underneath your mask, there is a moral compass. It may be hidden under innumerable layers, but it’s there.”
Nicholas’s jaw clenched, and Cordelia held her breath, afraid of what he would do, and afraid of how much she had said. It felt like venturing onto a frozen lake, unsure of one’s footing but moving forward boldly nonetheless.
When his eyes met hers again, they were full of fire, but it was not anger; this was a fire she recognized. It made her breath catch, and she stepped back to her old place as he stepped toward her, his hands on her waist again.
When he spoke, his voice was low and gravelly. “What did I say would happen every time you accuse me of being honorable, Cordelia?”
His hands slid from her waist, and down to her bottom where he squeezed, pressing her more firmly against him.
She gasped again, and his lips brushed against her own before they moved down her neck.
Cordelia’s mind swam, and just as she predicted, she lost all grasp on good sense.
Her hands moved to his arms to hold onto him, as she started to feel a little weak from his touch.
When his lips brushed against her ear, she shivered, and he whispered, “I would be happy to teach you again, love, if you’ve forgotten.”
The word left her mouth before she could stop it, and it sounded far breathier and needier than she’d intended.
“Please.”
At that, she felt his muscles tense under her hands, and she was afraid she’d said something wrong when she saw the look on his face.
“We are leaving right now,” he said, his eyes piercing into her own, and he grabbed her hand.
Cordelia’s mouth went dry, and she said nothing but allowed herself to be led away out of the earl’s home and outside.
His hand stayed gripped to her own while they waited for their carriage to be brought around, and he helped her inside.
She wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but she wanted it to.
Helen, what would you think if you saw me now? Was this truly what you had planned for us?
He locked the door, and then he knocked on the roof of the carriage, and it began to rumble away.
With ease, Nicholas picked her up and brought her onto his lap.
Within another beat, his mouth was on hers, and she responded with eagerness now, pulling on his neck as she opened her mouth to his.
She had no idea what was going on between them, but all she knew was that she wanted this.
It felt like a relief to finally let go for just a few moments.
Let go of worries for the children, finding a nanny, doing the right thing in memory of her friend. In that moment, she could simply be.
“Good God, Cordelia,” he said, kissing down her neck as he lifted her again so that she was straddling his lap, most of her skirts pushed up along the knee.
Her stomach flipped when she felt a hardness at her center, and unconsciously, she rolled her hips against it, making Nicholas swear and pull his mouth down to hers again.
She whimpered into his throat, embarrassed at her sudden need, and she boldly let her tongue wander into his mouth.
His grip tightened on her at that, and he groaned against her mouth as he deepened the kiss further.
“I need to taste you,” he said, pulling suddenly away, lifting her up and setting her down on the other side of the carriage.
Dazed, Cordelia gave him a confused look. “What do you? Oh—”
His hand had lifted underneath her skirts as he knelt before her, and his fingers pressed at the wet space between her thighs.
He stared at her with low-lidded eyes and smiled, that smile making that same tingle fill her belly with need.
He rubbed a thumb over her, and then he lifted her skirts fully, making her gasp.
“Will you let me? Taste you?”
“You mean you want to taste me…there?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod, leaning lower towards her center. “Put your legs over my shoulders.”
Cordelia had always considered herself a little bit rebellious in ways that mattered to the ton, but now she realized she had been rather prudish for most of her life, never imagine in her wildest dreams that such pleasures could be hers or that she would even engage in them.
And she was afraid, but all she wanted then was to give in.
Biting her lip, she nodded. And when his mouth touched her, she cried out, leaning her head back against the wall of the carriage as her legs lay on Nicholas’s strong shoulders.
A deep groan of pleasure from Nicholas made a vibration fill her core, and she could feel the familiar shiver of pleasure as it slowly built upward to a crescendo.
“Nicholas,” she cried again, her head moving from side to side as she tried to hold onto something to keep her steady.
As if he knew, Nicholas reached out with his hand to hold her own, just as his tongue flicked against her, and she moaned.
Loudly. But Nicholas had no mercy, he licked and sucked and when he put a finger inside her while he suckled her nub, she nearly screamed, feeling a rush of pleasure break through her and over her, and she rode upward and beyond, legs shaking around his neck.
She was still shaking when his handsome face lifted from her skirts, and she shook her head at him, a smile breaking over her face as he grinned at her like the cat who got the cream.
“I think you might have liked that, wife.” She blushed, and he laughed. “Far too late for blushes, I think.”
He leaned forward and kissed her, his lips warm and wet and then he sat back on the other side, looking far too satisfied with himself. When her mind was sufficiently recovered, she sat up, pulled her skirts down and knelt in front of him, her hands on the tops of his legs.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his gaze darkening again, and she smiled.
“What you have done to me. It’s unfair that you should undo me with your skilled mouth and fingers. I should be able to wield the same power.”
Her hand brushed over the hardness that had risen from his trousers, and he leaned forward, his grin now turned wicked.
“You are welcome to do so, love,” he said with a slight hint of breathlessness.
“Will you guide me?” she asked, and he groaned, covering her hand with his own.
“Of course, but only if you wish it.”
She nodded, looking down at where he bulged. “Yes, but I just don’t know how. Help me.”
“You’re going to kill me, woman,” he said, and he slowly unbuttoned himself, and his manhood sprung free, making the goosebumps rise on her skin as she looked down at it. Instinctively, she reached for him, and he breathed out in a hiss as she grasped him, his skin warm and silky smooth.
“Did I hurt you?” she asked, pulling back, and he shook his head, putting her hand back on him again.
“You can move like this.”
She followed the motion, and Nicholas looked in physical pain, his eyes closed as he leaned back against the wall of the carriage. But this gave her power, and she moved more swiftly before licking her lips, the desire to put him in her mouth becoming overpowering.