Chapter 18 #2
Leaning forward, she licked the tip of him only to hear another hiss. His eyes snapped open, and he stared at her in shock.
Embarrassed, she said softly, “May I?”
Wordlessly, he nodded, and with as much boldness as she could muster, she took him into her mouth, a little at first, but then with the warm, smooth taste of him, she gained more boldness and took him deeper.
Nicholas swore, his hands grasping at her hair as she slowly moved up and down over the hardened flesh.
The way she was undoing him made her wet again, and she continued, holding him with one hand while her mouth and tongue slid over him, faster and faster, in beat with his rapid breath, and then he cried out, holding her head against him as he pulsed inside her mouth.
She welcomed him, tasting the saltiness of him as he spilled inside her, and she swallowed. When she pulled away, she stared up at him both in surprise at herself and in how much that had delighted her.
When she saw his face, slightly slack jawed and eyes nearly closed, she grinned and then sat back across from him, taking a handkerchief from her bag to pat at her mouth.
“I see why you were so eager to do this, Nicholas. One feels quite in control in such a scenario.”
His eyes opened as she lifted a teasing brow. Hurriedly, he buttoned himself up and then he yanked her onto his lap again, pressing his lips firmly against her own.
“You will regret those words soon enough, love,” he teased. “More delectable punishments to come I think.”
Cordelia swallowed, her heart racing at the prospect of what more could come when the carriage stopped, and a footman opened the door, blushing up at them to see them in such a state. Nicholas, bold as brass, carried her out of the carriage and then let her down but continued to hold onto her hand.
Is this what marriage is? Cordelia found herself asking. But she had a feeling that hardly any marriage in the ton consisted of such indiscreet activities in a carriage ride on the way home from a ball, from whence they left without explanation.
Nicholas led her into the house, and they handed their things to the waiting footman, Cordelia hoping that her hair and the flush in her cheeks did not give them away.
At the base of the stairs, Cordelia asked, “Do you think the earl will be offended that we did not remain for long?”
“Not at all. The man was likely drunk as a skunk in his private study. It’s his wife who prefers to throw the gatherings.”
“I see.”
He looked down at her and lifted her hand to his lips, and his eyes softened. “I have some business to attend to, Cordelia. I will bid you good night.”
Cordelia was taken aback and then suddenly embarrassed that somehow, she’d expected him to come to bed with her. She wanted to shake herself.
It is only an arrangement. Even if there are kisses and other actions between us, it is only that. It is all for the children. There is nothing more between us than that.
Somehow, she managed to put a smile on her face. “Of course, Nicholas. I understand.”
And without another word, she took to the stairs, feeling his gaze on her back, but she did not turn around. Once upstairs, she went to see the children, hopeful that a glance at their sleeping, calm faces would set her to rights and would put her back into focus.
Inside the room, the embers in the hearth remained, and a maid was sleeping in a far corner. She smiled at a sleeping Tim, who had a thumb in his mouth, and when she turned to Olivia’s bed, she saw her looking up at her calmly.
“Oh, dear Olivia, what are you doing awake?” Cordelia asked with a smile, coming to her side and kneeling by her bed.
Olivia now no longer burst into tears at every moment and had even started to reach for Cordelia’s hand from time to time.
“You were gone,” Olivia said, and Cordelia nodded.
“Yes, your godfather and I were at a ball. But I would’ve much rather been here with you.” She tapped Olivia on the nose, making the young girl smile. “What did you do?”
“Lots of games! Tim lost and cried.”
“Oh dear.” Cordelia clucked her tongue, tucking Olivia in more firmly. “Well, he shall have to learn to be a good loser, won’t he?” Olivia nodded. “And what did you eat?”
“Jellies and ham and cake!” Olivia said, and Cordelia put a finger to her lips.
“Sounds delightful, but we mustn’t wake Tim. I wish I could have eaten such a feast.”
She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Olivia’s cheek, so unbelievably grateful that they were no longer with their grandfather but here with her, safe and happy.
“Will Grandfather be coming to take us?”
A shiver ran through Cordelia. “Why do you ask that, Olivia? Do you miss him?”
Oliva frowned and shook her head. “No. He yells.”
Cordelia was relieved. “No, he will not come. This is your home now. It shall be a happy one, I hope.” She smiled, wondering if hope would be enough to carry them all through.
“Good night, my dear,” she said with another kiss to Olivia’s cheek, and this time, Olivia kissed her back.
Cordelia nearly burst into shrieks of delight or into tears, but instead she stood and waved.
“Good night,” she whispered, hurrying from the room before she allowed herself to cry in front of the children.
And she wasn’t sure why the tears were coming exactly.
Was it that she was relieved Olivia was no longer afraid of her?
Or was it that she was afraid she felt more for Nicholas than was wise, and he certainly did not feel the same way?