7. Red
7
RED
As we hit the open road on the other side of Spring Haven, memories of my previous life on the road come flooding back to me. I spent so many years travelling all around the state–and sometimes out of it–that having stayed put in Spring Haven in recent years, it seems like a bit of a novelty now.
That’s not to say I’d change anything about my life on the ranch, but there’s a certain freedom that comes with winding the windows down and having your hair blown out by the wind on the open road.
It’s one of the things I’m looking forward to most about this trip. The freedom to do a little exploring, experiencing new things, and enjoying the beautiful scenery of my home state. The fact I get to do it with my best friend and my son–at least for part of it–is a bonus.
Old country tunes play on the radio as we drive along the highway toward our first destination—Anchorage. We’ve got rooms booked for the night and tomorrow, we’ll put Wy on a plane destined for Amaknak Island. Until then, we’re going to make the most out of this time together.
So far, the drive has been uneventful. Every now and then, Mags hums along softly from the passenger seat, Wy joining in from the back. Whenever it happens, I can’t help but smile.
Stealing a glance across the truck, I take in the way the sunlight dances in her hair, highlightin' a few streaks of silver that have crept in over the years. Mags and Anna were of the same belief, wanting to age gracefully and willing to accept whatever their bodies and life threw their way. Since I’ve always thought there was nothing more beautiful than a woman who owns what she’s given, it has never escaped me that Mags is stunning.
I’ve lost count of the number of male customers who’ve passed through the diner over the years and tried to shoot their shot with Mags. And every time, every one of them has left with a full stomach and no phone number, let alone plans for a date. I rib her about it whenever it happens and all she does is scoff and brush it off, rolling her eyes and telling me I’m seeing things. When she’d start teasing me back, I always knew all was right with the world.
I mull over what Wy said about Mags being another me for him and another Anna for me. He’s wrong but also… not. She may not realize it, but I wouldn’t be where I am today—the man and father I am today—without the support and friendship Mags has given me.
That’s why it’s so apt–so right –that she’s coming on this trip with me.
Sneaking another glance her way, I find her staring out the window, her features relaxed and an undeniable sense of peace radiating out of her.
I don’t know what compels me to do it, but without taking my eyes off the road, I reach over and take her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her body jolts with surprise before she flexes her fingers and lets out a happy sigh, smiling before letting me go.
What seemed a good idea at the time is now… not. Because I’m no longer relaxed. Hell, I’m as tense as a mule who’s backed into an electric fence. My heart has decided to bang against my chest like a hammer on a nail and suddenly it feels like I’m standing in the hot sun in the middle of Summer. I’m burning up and I have no idea why.
Huh. Maybe I'm overdue for a physical. I should see if Charlie can give me a workup. I am getting close to fifty. Then again, age is but a number, right?
I rub my chest out of instinct, secretly hoping it’ll help ease the tension and quell the confusion swirling inside of me. What’s goin’ on right now?
“You OK, Dad?” Wy’s asks with an edge of concern.
Catching sight of a rest stop up ahead, I flick the indicator on and pull off the road, coming to a stop at a lookout with a sweeping view over a lush green valley.
“Dad?”
I turn in my seat to look back at him. "Yeah, kid. Just need to stretch my legs. It appears I'm not as well-versed in drivin’ long distances as I used to be."
Mags tilts her head, her brows pinched together as she studies me, her skeptical gaze telling me she doesn’t buy what I’m trying to sell.
“You sure?” Wy asks.
I arch a brow at him. “Are you worried about your ol’ dad now because you’re leavin’ the nest. Naw, kid. I’m still fightin’ fit, even if fifty is knockin’ at the door.”
“Hmm. Does that mean you’re overdue for a mid-life crisis, Red?” Mags pipes up, earning a laugh from my son.
“Don’t you start” I say with a chuckle. “You’re the same age as me.”
Mags sees right through me, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, but I’m not the one grumblin’ now, am I? She goes to step out of the truck. “You goin’ to stretch your legs, old man? Or just sit here and complain about needin’ to?”
“Oooh, she’s got you there, Dad.” Wyatt gets out of the truck too, following behind Mags who walks in the direction of the lookout.
“Quiet in the cheap seats. Or else I’ll make you drive the rest of the way to Anchorage,” I grumble out the window at them, wondering how the conversation went from me feeling something weird in my chest to being an old grump.
“Deal. Then you can nap in the back,” Wy calls back.
“That does it.” I quickly get out and rush at him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and pulling him into my side. I shake my fingers through his hair and play fight with him, laughing the whole time I do it. "Keep callin’ me old, kid. I can still run circles around ya.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he snickers, giving as good as he gets. “Whatever you say, old man .”
When we straighten and I finally let him go, I feel a hell of a lot lighter and far from old. Mags just stands there, arms crossed over her chest, a huge grin on her face.
“You two quite finished there?”
“You want to have a go, Mags?” Wy goads, darting and dancing around her like a boxer in the ring.
She makes a show of sizing him up before rolling her eyes. “One touch from me kid and you’ll be flat on your butt.”
I chuckle at their antics. “Not sure you should poke the bear, kid.”
Wy attacks her, but instead of roughhousing, he hugs her, a peal of laughter escaping them both. Watching them together has me feeling grateful too.
I'm glad Wyatt asked Mags to come along because it wouldn't be the same without her. She's been there through the highs and the lows of the past eight years and at least ten before that. It’s just right that she’s here for this next milestone too. One last hurrah with my son before Wyatt steps out on his own—at least for a little while.
The undeniable sense of change coming still swirls in my gut. That hasn’t gone away even after Wyatt told me about his new job. Since I’ve never gone through my only child leaving home before, I figure this is just part and parcel with kids growing up and leaving. He’s no longer going to be dependent on me and that’s going to take some time for me to get used to.
“I’ve got to grab somethin’ from my bag,” Wyatt says, running back to the truck and rummaging in the back.
“You doin’ OK? You seem a little lost in thought today,” Mags asks, bumping her shoulder against my arm. “Not feelin’ too old?”
I smirk. "Of course, I'm feelin’ old. That’s because I am old.”
“Well, you’re only as old as you feel, remember?”
“Yeah. And that’s ancient,” I chuckle. “Naw, I was just thinkin’ that I’m glad you came. I’m not the only one who’s overdue for a break. How long has it been again? A decade?”
“Never been much of a traveler, Red. You know that. Besides, I love our little town and I love my life–family, friends, the diner, all of it. Even that rowdy crowd from Bull Mountain Ranch that tears my place up every Friday night.”
I smile before looking out over the valley stretched out in front of us. “Are you happy, Mags?”
“Whoa, you are all deep in your feelin’s today, aren’t you,” she answers as she comes up next to me. I don’t have to look at her to know I’ve caught her off guard with that question because her deflection method of choice has always been humor.
"Just doin' my job. Got to make sure my best friend is doin' OK," I say, nudging her playfully.
She snorts and shakes her head before going quiet and taking in the valley view. "I think I am. But happiness is a state of mind that changes from year to year, moment to moment, you know?" I nod before she continues. "Take yesterday. I wasn't happy when Greg and Char frogmarched me out of the diner. But then I was because they knew I wouldn't leave otherwise."
I laugh because it was me who made sure that both her ex-husband and daughter got her to leave early. "And look at me now, happy to be sharin’ this trip with you and Wy. Anna would've kicked my ass or poked my voodoo doll with a needle or somethin' if I'd let you guys do this alone. You may come across as rough and tough men but deep down you're both sensitive souls when it comes to family."
I bark out a startled laugh. "You think she's got a few of those dolls up there. Dollin’ out some revenge on anyone who wronged her."
Mags giggles. "Oh yeah. She'll be up there tryin' to tell us what to do and not to do by way of instant back aches or somethin’.”
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. “I like the idea of her watchin' over us. Right now, she's probably cursin’ me for lettin’ her baby go fishin' on what she'd call a tin can boat in the middle of the Bering Sea."
“That itchy nose you think is allergies? Nope, that’s just Anna annoyin’ you for fun," she says before she turns the tables on me. Her eyes look up to mine. "What about you, Red? Are you happy?”
Before I can respond, Wyatt jogs back, his treasured digital camera in his hand and a huge grin on his face.
"I decided we need to document this moment. The two of you gettin' out of Spring Haven for the first time in forever."
Mags and I look from Wy to each other. “Maybe she talks to us through him too,” she says.
Wy switches between us, his expression one of confusion and a little bit of worry. “Did you two lose your minds while I was gone? What are you talkin’ about?”
I hook my arm around his neck and pull him into me. “Nah, kid. Just talkin’ about the best half of you.”
Wy’s eyes soften and understanding fills his gaze. “Well, she would want us to take a photo.”
Mags’ snorts. “He’s right. OK, Graysons. Let’s huddle up and get this photo done because we’ve still got a way to go before we get to Anchorage.”
Wy sets up the camera on a nearby rock and adjusts the angle, telling us he wants to get the view in the background. After setting the time, he quickly runs to join us, standing between me and Mags as we all link arms. Just as the flash goes off, a warm breeze picks up and sends a swirl of fallen leaves up in the air making me think that Anna could be here after all.
Five photos later Wy's happy with what he got but refuses to show us.
“I’ll send them through to you later,” is the only response I can get out of him before he grabs my keys and walks back toward the truck.
"Do you think he is doin' OK?" Mags asks as we watch him go. "I remember Charlie bein’ scared out of her mind when she first went out on her own."
“Yeah. Maybe he’s just gettin’ a little nostalgic like his old man.”
“See, I’m glad you’re acceptin’ your age now, Red.” She pats my shoulder and shoots me a knowing grin. “They say it’s the first step.”
I look up to the sky. “Why, Anna. Why did you stick me with a smart-mouthed best friend?”
“Hey! Be nice. I’m your passenger princess for the next two weeks, remember.”
“Hmm. Yes. Note to self–stay in Mags’s good books for the rest of the trip,” I mutter, making sure I say it loud enough for her to hear.
“Y’all are goin’ to be the death of me, I swear,” she laughs.
Walking back to the truck, it hits me that I didn’t answer her question. But there’s also a reason for that. I am happy, I just don’t know whether I’m happy enough.. . or whether this is as happy as I’m ever going to get. I don’t know what’s missing from my life now to make me happy either. Maybe once I figure that out, I'll stop feeling off-kilter. I hope so, anyway.
“C’mon slow pokes. Time to hit the road!” Wy calls out from behind the steering wheel.
Mags and I look at each other. “Kids, huh?” we say at the same time before we both burst out laughing. And we don’t stop till we reach the truck.